Forge and Paige, Wednesday early afternoon

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

Forge and Paige talk, and a sense of closure is reached about certain things, and decisions are made about moving on.



Sometimes Paige thought she should write 'better watch what you wish for' on a card and attach it to a wire in front of her face. This? Was definitely one of those times. For all the hours she had spent pacing a hole in the tile, worrying, wishing, she'd never actually managed to think quite this far – as it always seemed to happen – and now, here she was, pacing a hole in the hallway carpet, glancing at her watch, and trying to steel herself into issuing three small knocks. Just three, teeny tiny- oh hell, she'd just knocked.

Forge smiled to himself, noting that Jubilee had logged off the Starcraft server after another humiliating defeat, and was probably coming by to try and proclaim that she'd somehow managed to fight honorably or something. It had been a good morning, he had to admit to himself. Losing himself in humor and video games had been just what he needed.

"I tell you, I am the King of Island Hop scenarios, Lee. Kneel before your..." Forge paused in his gloating as he opened the door. "Oh. Paige. Um, hi."

"I could... go away," she answered quickly, even with the pause. There were a couple of ways she'd figured his first words to her could go, but this hadn't been one of them. He'd looked so happy for a moment there. "It's fine. I'll even find Jubilee. I hear you should be sitting down. Uh."

Forge shook his head, holding the door open. "No, please. Come in. There's some things I have to tell you." He paused at the door, trying to tamp down the instinctive feeling to run at the sight of his lab partner. Inside, part of him was screaming to demand she prove that it was really her, really Paige, not some trick to twist him around and...

Realizing that he was blocking the door, Forge blushed slightly, motioning to the couch and the crumb-strewn plate that still held two cookies. "Please?" he repeated.

"Didn't even need to ask me twice," Paige reassured him quietly, brushing past to curl herself up on the couch. She pulled the sleeves of her cardigan down and over her hands as he closed the door behind her, tucking in to the corner as tightly as she could, as if bracing herself for something. "So. It's... I missed you."

Forge took a seat in one of the chairs across from the sofa, trying to look as casual as possible, despite being a ball of nervous energy inside. "I thought about you a lot," he admitted. "If I was going to see you again, what I'd say. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that's pretty clear and a lot of stuff that's not and I think I know where we stand but I'm not sure now and... boy, this went a lot better when I thought I was going to die."

Instinctively, his hand went to tug at his ponytail in a habitual gesture, brushing instead against his short yet unruly haircut. "I mean... yeah, I missed you too. And... how's Jono doing?"

Smiling just a little, a strange kind of mixture of relief and exhaustion, Paige leaned her cheek into the palm of one of her hands. "I didn't come here to talk about him, sugar. But. He's fine. Glad you're back, if only so I'll go to sleep now, but still." She lifted one shoulder in an attempt at a shrug, with that little smile, as if this was all she had. "And stop that, it looks fine."

Biting her lip and completely oblivious to her incorrect assumption, she tried to sit still, no matter how appealing getting up and making a circuit around his room sounded right now. "I did come here to talk about you. And, I guess, where we stand, because while you have a guess, I've not the faintest idea..."

Inwardly, Forge held a small spark of hope, but calmed himself. "I know how you and Jono, well... it's obvious you're happy with... yeah. I just don't know if..." He stopped, using the cane to push himself up out of the chair and pacing back and forth. This had been so much easier talking to himself in a laboratory in Tampa.

"Okay," he started again. "It's not a secret anymore how I feel about you, I gather. And ever since you got out of that isolation room, I realized that I wanted to see you happy. Because, well, I like when you're happy. When you come across a new way of approaching an equation, or you aced a training simulation, or you just have one of those moments - I like seeing that." He paused, looking down at the floor. "But working with you all that time, I couldn't help but see how you were the rest of the time. Sad, like something was missing. I'd hoped I could fill that, but what you were missing was Jono. So the only thing I could do was give you that."

Raising his eyes, he looked right at Paige, not budging. "I tried to be angry, you know. That I tried so hard, and that he could be gone so long and do for you all those things I can't. I wanted to be mad, but I can't be. Because you're happy. Even if it isn't with me. And to be honest, it's not my ideal outcome - but it's what I wanted for my friend."

That was it. He'd said what needed to be said. Now to see what she would say. Forge kept watching Paige for a reaction, anything.

"...you do make me happy," Paige said quietly, eyes downcast. "And not just because you were, are" she corrected herself quickly, "a phenomenal scientist and partner. You, just being you. I don't want to lose that. Lose you. Because you got me out of that room and back to life and you put yourself aside and you gave me Jono and..." Taking a deep breath, Paige stood, stepping over the coffee table to throw her arms around Forge tightly. "And if you don't see how special you are to me and to the world even without your gifts then I'm going to have to scream at you until you get it, you understand? Don't you dare think you don't belong."

Forge leaned into her, dropping the cane to the floor and awkwardly using Paige's shoulder for support. As one, they both tried to sit in the overstuffed chair, each hitting one of the arms and sliding onto the floor in two half-laughing, half-sniffling lumps. Rolling over, Paige reached out to poke Forge in the chest. "So none of this talk about leaving, okay? I mean, if you need time... I know what that's like and I'd be a hypocrite to tell you otherwise. But... I want you here. Selfish, I know, but it's the truth."

Forge rolled to a sitting position, catching his breath. "I'm flying to Dallas tomorrow," he said, then immediately held up his hands to forestall Paige's protest. "I'm going to see my parents, just through the weekend. We've got a lot to talk about, and they've been worried. And... I need space. Not from you. Just... everything right now."

Paige nodded, leaning over onto Forge's shoulder. "I understand. Really, I do. And when you come back, no matter what, I want this. Partners, friends. I know I don't have any right to ask after everything but, can we?"

Reaching out, Forge touched Paige's hand gently. "I wouldn't ever accept anything less. Of course." Entwining his fingers with hers, he squeezed once, conscious of the feel of her skin on the metal of his artificial hand. "You and me, Paige. Nothing less."

Resting that way for a moment, the world seemed to stop for a few long seconds before Forge cleared his throat and Paige stood up slowly.

"I should pack something for-"

"I have an evening class, I need to-"

Both paused, then a short laugh cleared the air before Paige pulled her partner close again. "Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. For everything. For being you."

"I'll call from Dallas," Forge said. "And I'll be back soon."

"You better."