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xp_logs2006-02-22 11:33 pm
x-polarisstar.livejournal.com) wrote in xp_logs2006-02-22 11:33 pm
Entry tags:
Moments: California
Now
Lorna closed her laptop and stood to dress for the party her student guide had promised her. She didn't know much about Berkeley culture yet but knew they trended toward the earth-conscious, world-saver type. Probably nothing made from real leather then. Natural materials that weren't animal products were the order of the day. She anticipated that but hadn't guessed that she would be required to party, so her wardrobe was heavy on the suits and skirts and light on casual, fun clothes. Sighing, Lorna went to attempt to surmount this difficulty.
She showered first and dried her hair, letting it curl as it liked. Then her makeup, applied as carefully as though it were morning and not the edge of night. Discarding her robe, Lorna sat on the edge of the bed to get dressed, keeping an eye on the time and an ear out for her phone, just in case. What she heard instead as the sun set was the sound of voices arguing in the hall--a man and a woman bickering with the vehemence of the newly matched or nearly through. When the argument broke into laughter, she knew it was the former and was glad for them in a way that twisted her heart.
She pulled her deep plum colored sweater over her head and glanced at herself in the mirror and only then noticed her ring. She hadn't thought of Alex all day, she realized, startled. The thought would have normally filled her with guilt and an instant desire to call him, catch up.
When she felt nothing, it terrified her.
Lorna remembered dinner three days ago when she'd told him that she was interview for this program. Remembered how he'd reacted, supportive but disappointed that she'd be gone so long. Remembered that Alex had stay close all the next day. Remembered that she'd been irritated by the attention and had snapped at him.
Lorna stared at her ring in the mirror for a long time then, like it was a dream, watching her right hand reach over and draw it off, leaving her finger bare.
The relief made her knees weak.
The realization made her sink back to the bed, numb.
What do you do when you're not in love?
Lorna closed her laptop and stood to dress for the party her student guide had promised her. She didn't know much about Berkeley culture yet but knew they trended toward the earth-conscious, world-saver type. Probably nothing made from real leather then. Natural materials that weren't animal products were the order of the day. She anticipated that but hadn't guessed that she would be required to party, so her wardrobe was heavy on the suits and skirts and light on casual, fun clothes. Sighing, Lorna went to attempt to surmount this difficulty.
She showered first and dried her hair, letting it curl as it liked. Then her makeup, applied as carefully as though it were morning and not the edge of night. Discarding her robe, Lorna sat on the edge of the bed to get dressed, keeping an eye on the time and an ear out for her phone, just in case. What she heard instead as the sun set was the sound of voices arguing in the hall--a man and a woman bickering with the vehemence of the newly matched or nearly through. When the argument broke into laughter, she knew it was the former and was glad for them in a way that twisted her heart.
She pulled her deep plum colored sweater over her head and glanced at herself in the mirror and only then noticed her ring. She hadn't thought of Alex all day, she realized, startled. The thought would have normally filled her with guilt and an instant desire to call him, catch up.
When she felt nothing, it terrified her.
Lorna remembered dinner three days ago when she'd told him that she was interview for this program. Remembered how he'd reacted, supportive but disappointed that she'd be gone so long. Remembered that Alex had stay close all the next day. Remembered that she'd been irritated by the attention and had snapped at him.
Lorna stared at her ring in the mirror for a long time then, like it was a dream, watching her right hand reach over and draw it off, leaving her finger bare.
The relief made her knees weak.
The realization made her sink back to the bed, numb.
What do you do when you're not in love?