http://x_courier.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] x-courier.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] xp_logs2009-05-18 08:27 pm

Amanda, Wanda and Jake - Belated Birthday Debauchery

Jake pesters Wanda and Amanda into going out. They retaliate by introducing him to the Globe.

years, you, Wanda and I are not only in the same city, but we're also all healthy, and there is absolutely nothing keeping us from going out. Nothing, that is, except for whatever fascinating project currently has your attention." He squinted at the screen. "'The extent to which differences in the composition of and returns to parental resources...'" he read, wrinkling his nose in obvious distaste. "No. I'm sorry, but I cannot in good conscience allow you to continue in this self-destructive exercise."

In the entry way to the cubicle, Wanda appeared and rolled her eyes with good humor at Jake. "He has been in my area for the last half an hour mocking historical information on the various tribes in Australia. I finally had to give up - you might want to admit defeat early, my dear." As she was talking, she was smoothing down the gray and black vest she was wearing over her shirt. She deemed it appropriate enough for the office but also smart enough to wear on a night out of what was probably going to be a night of drunken debauchery.

Amanda looked from the computer screen to the two grinning faces of her co-workers and then back again. With a sigh, she saved what she had done and closed the document, and the books she had open next to her. "I can finish tomorrow," she acknowledged. "It's already late, another day or two won't matter." Spinning on her chair to face them, she asked: "So, 'm guessing there's a plan? There's always a plan."

Looking solemn, Wanda reached out of sight and pulled a small brass globe from where she'd put it on the floor. "Spin the globe, win a prize," she told Jake, a smile edging its way out. "Or in our case, lots of beer. Who wants to do the honors?"

"As the globe-spinning virgin here, I call dibs," Jake said, coming around the end of the cubicle to join Wanda at its door. With an overly serious look, he sized up the globe, then gave it a healthy spin. Theatrically, he covered his eyes with one hand and took a stab at the spinning sphere with the other, then peeked out between his fingers. "Russia?"

"Russia means vodka," Amanda said with a grin. "And I'm guessing Wanda's got an angle on the best place in New York for that." She pulled on her jacket, which had been slung over the back of her chair. "I put my liver into your care, Boss Lady."


They start things off in one of Wanda's favorite places, and ground rules are set.



"So there we are--completely and utterly drunk, soaking wet, barefoot, not a working mobile phone between us--and he's trying to climb the wall of this villa and make it with some girl he met at a club two months ago." Jake shook his head, knocking back another shot. "I swear, I have never in my life been to Spain and had it end well." He'd lost his tie at some point in the evening, which was a shame, as he really liked that tie, but he was close to reaching the point of being inebriated enough not to care. He grinned at Wanda. "I think I like this globe-spinning game."

Wanda smirked as she downed her next shot, eyes half-closing at the sensation of the vodka burning a path down her throat. She had indeed had an angle on the best place to achieve the demands of the globe when it came to vodka. Like many places she was familiar with, it was a hole in the wall; run by two Russian brothers, the place was a common meeting ground for many of the Eastern Europeans in the neighborhood. The brothers were strict about leaving any and all political bickering out on the street and any fights based on that meant you could be barred for a number of weeks.

"While you might be easily entertained," Wanda replied, placing the shot glass upside down on the table, "this time you actually are on the right path. God bless the globe."

"I'll just have you two know, right now, that 'm not doing karaoke. No matter how mopey anyone gets," Amanda declared with the emphasis of someone who has had several shots of excellent vodka on an empty stomach. "Or having sex with either of you, even if you're pretty. And Spain sucks. Too many Spaniards, for a start." She reached for the bottle to pour another round. "The wine's pretty good tho'."

"No karaoke, no Spaniards, and sadly, no sex," Jake repeated agreeably. "Just alcohol poisoning." He knocked back another shot. "Although I could maybe be talked into dancing, with the right music." He glanced around the bar. "Not that I expect to find that here."

Wanda snorted. "If you get one of the brothers drunk enough, he might ask you to dance," she consoled him, patting him on the hand. "But, trust me when I say this, it really is not worth the trouble. But I suspect we can make do with simple alcohol poisoning."

Turning back to Amanda, she slid the younger woman another shot. "Did Moira's family treat you well for your birthday?"

"Or we can spin the globe again and find somewhere with dancing for you," Amanda added to Jake with a giggle at the mental image of Jake dancing with one of the burly Russian men. "Tho' Silver is always handy..." She focussed on Wanda's question. "Great. Gave me run of the pub, pretty much. And Moira was nice and kept the bagpipes to herself the next morning."

"Not here," Jake protested. "Although I like this place; it makes me all nostalgic for Budapest, in a weird sort of way. But there's a distinct lack of cake here. I'm told it's not a birthday celebration without cake." He gave Wanda his most pathetic look. "Buy me cake?"

Wanda looked quite put upon. "I got you fake teeth from Lichtenstein," she sighed, "you would think that would be enough to distract you for a while. If you wanted cake, you should have cheated and moved your finger to a country a little more known for cake." She stuck her tongue out at him.

"All right, I'll settle this," Amanda announced, reaching over and snagging the globe from its place in front of Wanda. With a flourish, she held up one finger and spun the globe with the other hand. Closing her eyes, she stabbed her finger downward... and missed completely. "Oops," she said with a grin and tried again. This time she managed to land on the globe and she peered at it. "Okay, where did I get?" Then there was a snicker. "Apparently we need to go French. Anyone know a French bakery that's licenced?"

Jake looked offended that she'd even asked. "I can name three within walking distance. Or wait--walking distance of the office. Where are we again?" He turned to Wanda, giving her his most charming smile. "If you help me figure out where the bakery is, I'll buy you cake? And
I'll take the false teeth out from under your pillow when we get home."

Her answer was to take his drink and slam it back.


Amanda waits until Jake is distracted with cake and drunkenness before pushing him into the trap she and Kurt have set.



"We ... left the safety and warmth of the bar for this?" Wanda asked as they stood out front and watched as Jake lovingly petted the door. She had her arm looped comfortably over Amanda's shoulders and was giving the bakery an interested but intense glare. "Are you sure there are drinks in there? We had only gotten started..."

"Worst comes to worst, there's always those alcoholic chocolates?" Amanda suggested. "Or is that only those fancy chocolate places? I can't believe Jake knows a bakery that's bloody well open at this time of night as it is. Maybe it's a secondary mutation, sensing cake for the getting."

"We need cake!" Jake insisted. "Then, more booze. It's a hangover cure, you know."

Shaking her head, Wanda reached forward to gently shove Jake through the door before leading Amanda in after him. She paused once inside and stared around in wonder at the interior. It was warm and inviting, which wasn't unusual, but it was fairly packed for the hour and the smell was enough to turn her knees into jello. "Oh, it is a wonder you have not left me for this place," she muttered.

"Ooh, cheesecake. With blackberries!" Amanda getting excited about dessert was unusual - the witch wasn't a big fan of high-sugar things - but fresh berries of any kind usually would catch her eye. "I want that," she declared, turning the Puppy Eyes of Doom on Wanda. "Please?"

Wanda found herself being tugged in two directions by excited and hungry coworkers. "Children," she warned, as she was almost dragged to the counter. "If I'm torn in two, no one gets any dessert." She shared Amanda's tastes when it came to sweets but soon spotted her own downfall - a bitter dark chocolate tart. "Pick one thing," she turned back to Amanda, "or else you'll be regretting the overindulgence more than the drinking come the morning."

"Okay, no eating a whole cheesecake," Amanda promised with a grin. "Tho' it is tempting." She looked over at Jake. "So, are you going to ask for one of everything and just mix it all up together in a bucket?" she asked, teasing.

The look he gave her in return was one of absolute and utter horror, although he was too drunk to hide the teasing twinkle in his eye. "Dear God!" he exclaimed. "They brainwashed you over in your magic vegan hippie boot camp, didn't they?" He draped one arm around her shoulders, allowing the barest hint of a grin to break through as he steered her over to the display case. "While I would happily eat one of everything, there are times when quality wins over quantity. That said..." He paused, one finger tapping his lips. "I might need one of almost everything."

Wanda pointed a finger at his nose. "You, sir, are on your own for buying your treats tonight if you go that route," she huffed, before turning to the amused staff behind the counters. "Kindly ignore the children who apparently have not eaten in years. Let's see..."

Despite her warning to Jake, she did indeed end up buying everyone their dessert of choice before they ended up in a back corner table
with their treats.

"So, are you going to sing us Happy Birthday?" Amanda asked Wanda with a cheeky grin, even as she stuck her finger into the whipped cream decorating her slice of cheesecake and licked the blob of cream off. "Since it sort of goes with the cake and all?"

"Only if she does it Marilyn Monroe-style," Jake suggested with a wicked grin. He licked the frosting from his fork. "I'm sure we could find you a cake to jump out of." He looked around as if there were an overlarge cake in one of the display cases just waiting for them to find it.

"You only wish," Wanda scoffed between bites of the tart. She made a noise as she ate it, surprised at how incredibly good it was. But then again, this was one of Jake's spots which meant he never would allow himself to eat at a place that wasn't really good. "No one needs to hear me sing - I was built for dancing, not for musical talents."

"This is true. I've heard her in the shower," Amanda managed between bites of cheesecake she was wolfing down. "Sid Vicious would have asked her to stop." She batted her eyes at Wanda to avoid bapping. "Tho' the dancing's brilliant - you and Kurt should do some kind of demo for the prom."

She snorted in amusement. "As long as I promise him that no one's going to be there to suck out our energy, he just might be in for it," Wanda responded, shaking her head at the memory. "However it would have to be done before it - I went there once the night of prom and somehow got roped into being a chaperon. I had stopped being a staff member ages before then! I think it was Scott's fault, to be honest. It always is."

"Ooooh, you had to go to prom for an entire night," Jake mocked her mercilessly. "The horror. I have two words for you--Guidance Counselor." He shuddered. "I'm still having nightmares."

A finger poked him hard in the forehead, accidentally smearing some chocolate tart on his skin. "Excuse me, Mr. Gavin," Wanda huffed, "but I have two words for you as well. Fuck. Off. I was a Guidance Counselor there as well, remember?"

Jake tried very hard to look contrite, an attempt made all the more comical by the streak of chocolate above his eyes. "Okay. I stand corrected. I still think they were much nicer to you than they ever were to me, though." He took another bite of his strawberry cake. "Still. It's just a dance--how bad could prom be?"

"Weeeeellll," Amanda drawled, looking particularly innocent. "You could find out for yourself. Meg needs a partner and I thought you might like to be a gentlemen and take her?" More puppy eyes of doom. "She'd really love it if you could?"

He blinked, pausing with the fork halfway out of his mouth. "Meggan?" He frowned, the chocolate on his forehead forgotten entirely. "She's not old enough to go to prom, right? I thought it was a high school thing."

"She's sixteen going on seventeen, Jake. The monkey girl went and grew up on us while she was away." It was said ruefully. "Please? I'll make it worth your while?"

He tilted his head to look at her. "Really? Wow." He took a thoughtful bite of his cake. "Do they spike the punch at these things? Because I don't think I can dance sober."

The punch from Wanda rocked him sideways for a moment and she didn't even break stride while eating her tart. "If there is, then you would do well to not drink the punch," she scolded. She smirked. "I am not going this year, so I will be sitting back in my apartment with my date. Daniels, Jack Daniels to be precise."

"Definitely no spiking. Kurt'll be there, so if you get our little sister drunk, you'll really wish you hadn't," Amanda replied, equally joking but with the promise of certain pain in her eyes. "Just show up, escort her to this thing, dance with her and be a gentleman. It can be like being on a job, only with more teenagers and less actual smuggling."

He pouted at Wanda. "I think if I have to go, you should have to go." He finished off his cake, thinking, then pointed his empty fork at Amanda. "Conditions: One, you figure out what I need to do--I'm sure there are flowers or something involved, yes? I don't want to mess with any of that. Two, you buy me something pretty. Doesn't have to be expensive. Just pretty. Three, I don't want to look like Zac Efron."

Amanda nodded. "I can get Angie to help with the etiquette side of things, and I'm sure I'll find you something pretty. And I have no bloody idea who Zac Efron is, but if he's one of those girly-looking emo boys, I'll be having words with Meg on her tastes any way. Deal." She finished off her own cake, licking the fork for the last little bit of cheesecake. "Now, I think it's my round. Someone want to spin for our next pub?"

Wanda stuck the spoon into her mouth so she could free her hands to pull out the small globe. She balanced it in the palm of one hand while she started to work on the last bit of her treat. The last bite was eaten right as Amanda went 'Aha!' and Wanda looked up in time to see Amanda's finger firmly planted on Italy.

"Well, then, I hope one of you two lady and gentleman know a good place," Wanda said, slipping the globe back into her pocket as she stood up. "Come on then, the night's still young and we are still fairly sober. There's something wrong with that picture."

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