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xp_logs2009-06-24 03:35 pm
x-mirage.livejournal.com) wrote in xp_logs2009-06-24 03:35 pm
Entry tags:
Log: Dani & Jay
Early Wednesday morning, Dani creeps into Jay's room for some roommate bonding
The nightmares had been especially horrific tonight and Dani had jerked awake in her bed covered in a sheen of sweat and breathing as if she had been running a marathon. She'd had nightmares interrupting her sleep for years, but this one was different somehow, though already the details were dissipating in the moonlight. Glancing at the clock she realized she'd only been asleep for a few hours and it was much too soon to get up for the day, even for her. Getting out of bed she left her bedroom and padded across to Jay's door. It was closed, but the Do Not Disturb sign wasn't up which meant he was alone tonight. Opening it, she crept in.
The pale moonlight filtered in through the window, extending across his back and reflected on the metal spine that interlaced with his skin. The slow rise and fall his shoulder blades suggested a deeper sleep but his eyes opened immediately at the first footfall. He'd been awake all this time, most of the night as he was for many nights an insomniac, coursing over thoughts and intervals of intricate dreams he had. Dreams that wove their promises deeply into repetitive nightmares.
It had been months. They were never going to sleep.
His eyes fell on the bottle next to the bed, the faint silhouette of many pills stared back at him, ones that had not been touched since Jack Leary wrote him the prescription.
They're addictive Jay, Jack had said. Be aware that they're not the solution, just a temporary remedy.
He was sure Dani had the same prescription, but she wasn't taking them, that much he knew. If she was, she wouldn't have been climbing into the other side of his bed, trying to be ever-so-quiet and not to wake him. But he was already awake, having never gone tosleep in the first place, he felt his sanity bending to the rules of sleep deprivation. He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed and rubbed his eyes until his hands covered his entire face.
Dani hated the sleeping pills. They didn't work, whether she took them or not she didn't sleep very well and this stemmed from when her powers had first begun going nuts when she was 17. Now, four years later, she had better control even at night, but she still wasn't sleeping well. The nightmares had changed, but they hadn't gone away. "Can't sleep either?" she asked, sitting down next to him, head on his shoulder.
"No," Jay replied curtly and stood up abruptly, leaving to go to the washroom. He returned a moment later after washing his hands and went to the window, hip leaning against the sil as he pulled it open. Hot air greeted him and it only increased his irritability and frustrations. It was getting harder to smile.
He pressed his fingers to his eyes and rubbed them, repeating the gesture until he covered his face with his hands again. Fingers slid back, raking hard through his hair and pulling on it until he forced his own head back in a tilt under the bright rays of the moonlight. The unnatural growl coiled in his throat and tremored through his chest, low and laced with aggravation.
"Ah can't keep doin' this."
One hand went automatically to her throat where the scars were. During the day she covered them with a large beaded choker necklace she'd found, but she never bothered to hide it from Jay. He understood. "What's the alternative?" she asked reasonably, her long hair cascading down her back in thick waves. "Suicide's a sin."
Jay snorted. "For you maybe." Not for him. He wasn't religious though his mother would be upset at another attempt. Not that he would bother, he had no desire to kill himself, though if he asked himself that in a month, that might change. He turned and went back to the bed, settling beside her. He raked his fingers through his hair, resting his elbows on his knees and dropping his head again, releasing a sigh.
"Ah dunno," he said after a long time and looked up, staring at the bottle. He reached for it.
"I ain't exactly going to church every Sunday am I?" she asked, wrapping her arms around him and holding Jay. She wasn't going to church, but she had been raised in it and believed. She had liked the tiny one she had grown up in, she hadn't found another she liked, though she hadn't looked too hard either. "I'd miss you though. Ain't gonna lie and tell you it'll get better though."
"Stop okay?" Jay shrugged her off. "Ah don't need to be coddled like a baby." It was exactly what gave away that he wasn't getting enough sleep, when even the simplest gestures of comfort were taken the wrong way. He wanted them to handle this on their own, figure it out, work it out without some sort of intervention.
Making a face, Dani withdrew just a little, "Ain't always about you," she stated, an edge to her voice. "I got nightmares too. I ain't sleeping either." It wasn't all about her either though. It was a balancing act. With a sigh she laid down, her head on one of his pillows, "Don't like the pills, they don't work."
"Well it's all we got," Jay barked and cut himself off before he said anything else. There was no relief to this headache he had and even when he ran the base of his palm over an eyebrow, there was only a brief reprieve.
He rolled and flopped down on his side next to her, facing her and smiled. "God, we sound like an old married couple, don't we?" A rhetorical question. She knew they did.
"That explains the lack of sex," Dani replied, nudging him in the ribs with an elbow. "I wanna go back to the honeymoon phase. Or just get a honeymoon now." She hadn't had one before in her first marriage, "Guess I'd need a husband that was interested in me for that, huh?"
"Ah make a poor substitute," he teased and got up, pressing down on the lid of the bottle. She was offered the first pill. "One for you," he said brightly. "Anddd.... one for me." The pill was slipped into his mouth and he held it there for minute under his tongue.
Swallowing the pill, Dani pulled Jay down gently so she could pillow her head on Jay's shoulder, "Why is it I sleep better with you than I do alone?" she asked. It was mostly rhetorical, but it was the truth. She never liked sleeping alone.
Jay refused to be pulled down and put his arm back so he could support his position but instead as a nervous afterthought, crossed his legs and leaned forward, brushing his shaky hands together. "Ah dunno. Misery loves company?" he supplied.
Snorting, she hit his shoulder lightly and rolled over away from him. They tended to sleep away from each other, friendly as opposed to loverly. It was still comfortable though and still a better nights sleep than she got alone. "Maybe. Maybe just cause your fears are so normal to me now. Ain't anything to think about."
Maybe if he just went for another flight, something that would exhaust him, then he could finally sleep. But then, could he guarantee that he would have a dreamless sleep and not a nightmare that made him feel as though he was awake the entire time? He rolled over the things he could do, where he could go and each thought that past into the next only resulted in Jay back into his previous position, on his stomach, turned away from Dani and clutching the pill bottle beneath his pillow. He was well into his own thoughts by the time he realized that he had swallowed the pill and Dani had fallen silent.
The nightmares had been especially horrific tonight and Dani had jerked awake in her bed covered in a sheen of sweat and breathing as if she had been running a marathon. She'd had nightmares interrupting her sleep for years, but this one was different somehow, though already the details were dissipating in the moonlight. Glancing at the clock she realized she'd only been asleep for a few hours and it was much too soon to get up for the day, even for her. Getting out of bed she left her bedroom and padded across to Jay's door. It was closed, but the Do Not Disturb sign wasn't up which meant he was alone tonight. Opening it, she crept in.
The pale moonlight filtered in through the window, extending across his back and reflected on the metal spine that interlaced with his skin. The slow rise and fall his shoulder blades suggested a deeper sleep but his eyes opened immediately at the first footfall. He'd been awake all this time, most of the night as he was for many nights an insomniac, coursing over thoughts and intervals of intricate dreams he had. Dreams that wove their promises deeply into repetitive nightmares.
It had been months. They were never going to sleep.
His eyes fell on the bottle next to the bed, the faint silhouette of many pills stared back at him, ones that had not been touched since Jack Leary wrote him the prescription.
They're addictive Jay, Jack had said. Be aware that they're not the solution, just a temporary remedy.
He was sure Dani had the same prescription, but she wasn't taking them, that much he knew. If she was, she wouldn't have been climbing into the other side of his bed, trying to be ever-so-quiet and not to wake him. But he was already awake, having never gone tosleep in the first place, he felt his sanity bending to the rules of sleep deprivation. He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed and rubbed his eyes until his hands covered his entire face.
Dani hated the sleeping pills. They didn't work, whether she took them or not she didn't sleep very well and this stemmed from when her powers had first begun going nuts when she was 17. Now, four years later, she had better control even at night, but she still wasn't sleeping well. The nightmares had changed, but they hadn't gone away. "Can't sleep either?" she asked, sitting down next to him, head on his shoulder.
"No," Jay replied curtly and stood up abruptly, leaving to go to the washroom. He returned a moment later after washing his hands and went to the window, hip leaning against the sil as he pulled it open. Hot air greeted him and it only increased his irritability and frustrations. It was getting harder to smile.
He pressed his fingers to his eyes and rubbed them, repeating the gesture until he covered his face with his hands again. Fingers slid back, raking hard through his hair and pulling on it until he forced his own head back in a tilt under the bright rays of the moonlight. The unnatural growl coiled in his throat and tremored through his chest, low and laced with aggravation.
"Ah can't keep doin' this."
One hand went automatically to her throat where the scars were. During the day she covered them with a large beaded choker necklace she'd found, but she never bothered to hide it from Jay. He understood. "What's the alternative?" she asked reasonably, her long hair cascading down her back in thick waves. "Suicide's a sin."
Jay snorted. "For you maybe." Not for him. He wasn't religious though his mother would be upset at another attempt. Not that he would bother, he had no desire to kill himself, though if he asked himself that in a month, that might change. He turned and went back to the bed, settling beside her. He raked his fingers through his hair, resting his elbows on his knees and dropping his head again, releasing a sigh.
"Ah dunno," he said after a long time and looked up, staring at the bottle. He reached for it.
"I ain't exactly going to church every Sunday am I?" she asked, wrapping her arms around him and holding Jay. She wasn't going to church, but she had been raised in it and believed. She had liked the tiny one she had grown up in, she hadn't found another she liked, though she hadn't looked too hard either. "I'd miss you though. Ain't gonna lie and tell you it'll get better though."
"Stop okay?" Jay shrugged her off. "Ah don't need to be coddled like a baby." It was exactly what gave away that he wasn't getting enough sleep, when even the simplest gestures of comfort were taken the wrong way. He wanted them to handle this on their own, figure it out, work it out without some sort of intervention.
Making a face, Dani withdrew just a little, "Ain't always about you," she stated, an edge to her voice. "I got nightmares too. I ain't sleeping either." It wasn't all about her either though. It was a balancing act. With a sigh she laid down, her head on one of his pillows, "Don't like the pills, they don't work."
"Well it's all we got," Jay barked and cut himself off before he said anything else. There was no relief to this headache he had and even when he ran the base of his palm over an eyebrow, there was only a brief reprieve.
He rolled and flopped down on his side next to her, facing her and smiled. "God, we sound like an old married couple, don't we?" A rhetorical question. She knew they did.
"That explains the lack of sex," Dani replied, nudging him in the ribs with an elbow. "I wanna go back to the honeymoon phase. Or just get a honeymoon now." She hadn't had one before in her first marriage, "Guess I'd need a husband that was interested in me for that, huh?"
"Ah make a poor substitute," he teased and got up, pressing down on the lid of the bottle. She was offered the first pill. "One for you," he said brightly. "Anddd.... one for me." The pill was slipped into his mouth and he held it there for minute under his tongue.
Swallowing the pill, Dani pulled Jay down gently so she could pillow her head on Jay's shoulder, "Why is it I sleep better with you than I do alone?" she asked. It was mostly rhetorical, but it was the truth. She never liked sleeping alone.
Jay refused to be pulled down and put his arm back so he could support his position but instead as a nervous afterthought, crossed his legs and leaned forward, brushing his shaky hands together. "Ah dunno. Misery loves company?" he supplied.
Snorting, she hit his shoulder lightly and rolled over away from him. They tended to sleep away from each other, friendly as opposed to loverly. It was still comfortable though and still a better nights sleep than she got alone. "Maybe. Maybe just cause your fears are so normal to me now. Ain't anything to think about."
Maybe if he just went for another flight, something that would exhaust him, then he could finally sleep. But then, could he guarantee that he would have a dreamless sleep and not a nightmare that made him feel as though he was awake the entire time? He rolled over the things he could do, where he could go and each thought that past into the next only resulted in Jay back into his previous position, on his stomach, turned away from Dani and clutching the pill bottle beneath his pillow. He was well into his own thoughts by the time he realized that he had swallowed the pill and Dani had fallen silent.