xp_logs | Marie & Scott, or Blossom & Sunshine

[that subject sounds like some sort of 60's band, doesn't it?]

Set in the middle of this exchange, following this thread...

Marie smoothed her hair back and settled the seams of her gloves in place before knocking on Scott's office door. -Please let him be in. Please let me look okay. Please let him not ask questions.-

"Come." Scott called out, sitting behind his desk. He was doodling on a pad of paper, fiddling with some new Danger Room scenarios. He looked up as the door opened.

"Hi." Marie slipped into his office, closing the door behind her and leaning on it. "Is there anyone on the list who could take my classes this afternoon? I have a headache I just can't seem to shake."

"Sure. Is there a lesson plan somewhere?" He tapped the pencil on the pad a few times, watching her. "Is the headache a someone, or a something?"

"Lesson plans are done. And... it's nothing. It'll pass. I'll take something for it." Marie gave him a smile and reached behind her for the doorknob. "I'll drop the plans in the teacher's lounge. Thanks, Scott."

"You're not bullshitting me, right? Because I'd hate to find out from someone else if you were." He's not accusatory, just concerned. /Especially if that someone else goes and threatens another person in the mansion because of whatever-it-is./ "Close the drapes, cool cloth for your eyes. But you know this already. Go. Shoo, Blossom." He gestured to the door, smiling a little.

Marie turned away from him and stopped with the door half-open. "Scott? You don't think I'm them, do you?" She stared at the swirling wood grain of the edge of the door in front of her eyes. "That I'm actually all those people in my head?"

Scott blinked, startled. "What the ... ? No, Em, Marie. Blossom. No." He got up from the desk, tossing his pencil down and going over to her. "That is who you are. Marie. Rogue. Em. Blossom. Not them." He pulled her into a hug, if she was willing.

Marie didn't resist but she didn't relax either, didn't let go of the doorknob. Her energy was devoted to keeping her breathing even, her tears back, her stomach still. "Just... something someone said. That I should change my name. And that I'm really kind of them anyway." She started to shake. "...said I should change my name to Erika Lensherr because, you know... I kind of am in a way, aren't I? He did make a lot of what I am. Shaped me."

Scott stepped back when Marie wouldn't fully accept his offer of comfort. He pulled the chair in front of his desk over and sat on the arm, near to her but not too close. "Everyone you come into contact with shapes you, Marie. And I don't mean skin-to-skin contact. We are all shaped by those around us, for good or ill. Now, unless you tell me that you suddenly want to make mutants the master race," he looked at her in all seriousness, "all that Magneto did was firm up your own beliefs. Help you understand what you want to do, who you want to be."

"I am what I am partly so I won't be him," Marie said quietly. "I can hear him. And his name? Is Erik. Erik. He's just a man." She laughed sharply. "He really doesn't like Cain. A lot. And I can hear the others, in varying degrees. I try to be me so I won't be them. I'm still stronger than they are. But I could. I could just let it go and let them free and ... let the strongest of them have me." She closed the door and turned slowly. "Do I want to make mutants the master race? No. But I could. And it would make perfect, right sense."

"Of course it makes sense," Scott shrugged. "It makes perfect sense. But that doesn't mean it's *right*." He took one of her hands in his. "And just because you can, you could, doesn't mean you should, or you will. You are one of the strongest people I've ever met, Marie. As strong as Jean. You don't let the bastards get you down, to quote something I've seen run around the journals a bit lately. They're always going to be there. I can't take them away. But I don't think I would, even if I could. And I don't think you'd let me. They are a part of you. They'll always be. But they're not YOU." He lifted her hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it. "I mean, really...do you really think Logan would sleep with Magneto?" He snorted, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Marie laughed and turned to lean on him, tears coming on the heels of her amusement. "God. It's hard enough to send them to their corners in my head sometimes," she said shakily. "Talk about conflicting impulses. It's just so hard, Scott. And I'm so scared I'm not strong enough." She leaned her cheek on his hair and closed her eyes. "I don't... I don't want to be them. Why the hell can't I have a nice guy like you in my head?"

"Because I'd be terribly boring. And you haven't had to save me...yet." He moved her hand to his shoulder, and his face became serious. "I will always..." he stopped, lips tightened, and began again. "I will try to be here for you always, Marie. Whatever you need. And if you really believe that you need someone with a stick-up-their-ass in your head, keeping the others in line, I'll do it. But not now, Blossom. When you've gotten yourself centered again, when you're not off-balance, then come and see me. If you still want it."

Marie nodded and bent to kiss Scott on the temple, a gentle brush of her lips on his skin. "You're not boring. You're brave and responsible and I love you and I try to be like you when I can." She looked down at him seriously. "I will think about it. Thank you. You /are/ always there for me. Don't think I haven't noticed."

He smiled at her, a bit sadly. "I'm just trying to be honest. You may need me, and I may not be there. But I will always try." Scott stood up, and opened his arms for a hug, hoping this time she'd come to him. "And just so you know, I have no interest in having sex with Logan. Please remember that, if you come back later."

Marie hugged him tightly, laughing a little. "Oh. That's /so/ reassuring, Scott. I do think that's mutual. Very." She buried her face in his shoulder, feeling safe for the moment. "Thanks, Sunshine."

"All Blossoms need their Sunshine, hmm?" Scott hugged her, placing a kiss on the top of her head. "Now, go rest, I'll see your classes are covered."

"Thanks." Marie gave him a little squeeze and then stepped back, looking up at him. "You really think I could be as strong as her?" she asked in a small voice.

"Not could be. Are." Nodding for emphasis, he smiled at her. "She never saw herself as strong, either. She was just herself."

"I think that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me in my life," Marie said quietly. "Thank you." She stepped forward and gave Scott a quick hug again. "You know I'll always try to be there for you, too, right? All you have to do is say if you need me."

"I know." He headed back to behind his desk, back to his plans. "That's why we're family."

"That's very true." Marie reached behind her and opened the door again, smiling at him. "I suppose we are at that. I'll talk to you after I get some sleep, then. And thanks for everything, Scott."

"You're welcome." He waited until she was gone, then flipped open the laptop. He hadn't missed the drop of the name, and wanted to find the post, if it was public. Then it was back to the Danger Room exercises, this time including a scenario with Rogue having his ability.