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xp_logs2012-06-03 11:25 pm
x-network.livejournal.com) wrote in xp_logs2012-06-03 11:25 pm
Log: Layla and Sarah, Sunday evening (backdated)
After the dust settles, Layla and Sarah find each other, and that's all that matters, for that moment at least.
"After the dust settled" always seemed like it was just a metaphor. Metaphor dust metaphor settling. But no, Layla was finding out it wasn't really so much figurative as it was literal. All around her dust and dirt and bits of whatever was settling down now that the fighting was over. Now that everything was sort of calming and quieting. But Layla wasn't settling. Layla was searching. There hadn't been time before. Processing, reacting, acknowledging...it had all needed to wait. But she'd seen her. She knew she was here. She was alive. She was, presumably, alright. And Layla needed to find her. It became such an overwhelming and driving need that the blond had gone into that instinct driven frame of mind she'd been in for what felt like days now.
Her instincts were clearly dulling, though, because she came up in a corner once and found some official looking person the second time. Sarah was nowhere to be seen at either location. But Layla kept searching until she found the only person she really cared about right now. The only person it mattered to find. Layla walked straight up to her girlfriend and, without a word or any concern for who was nearby, kissed her. She didn't even realize tears had started to tumble down her cheeks.
Seeing Layla earlier in the fighting had given Sarah strength, had helped her to push on and contribute whatever she could in the fight to bring that monstrosity down, but now she was completely and utterly spent. She'd seen the blonde earlier in all the fighting and knew that she was ok, that she was alive, and that was all that mattered. Too tired to do more than just stand, and even then she was hunched over, leaning on some debris from the fracas. Her breath was ragged and she was wheezing a little, but when she looked up and saw Layla approaching she straightened up, mustering up the strength to speak before she was interrupted by her girlfriend's kiss.
Instantly her weight shifted from resting on the debris to leaning on Layla, which hopefully was alright with the other girl. She kissed her back, tears falling down her own cheeks as she clung to the other girl as if her life depended on it. Her hands wrapped around Layla, fingers brushing against her hair, which suddenly made her realize the loss of her own. Sarah was filthy, disheveled, and looked like she'd been through the wringer several times, and in a brief pang of vanity she hoped Layla didn't mind her appearance. At any rate she wasn't about to pull away from her, so she'd better not mind.
Leaning was fine. It was so totally okay that an arm snaked around Sarah's waist and pulled her closer, pulled her in until their bodies were fused together from thigh to waist to chest. Layla forgot everything else around them. She let the vivid after image of the surrounding scene fade from her mind. She tuned out the sounds and voices and noises until they were a dull, barely recognizable thrum in her awareness. And she just kissed Sarah, so relieved to finally have her hands on her. To finally know she was definitely okay. And her, Sarah was definitely Sarah and not some mindless non-thing in her body.
Only when Layla was absolutely certain she could not put off taking in a decent amount of air for any longer did she let the kiss break, let their lips part. Eyes still closed, forehead resting against her girlfriend's, Layla just breathed for the first time in what felt like a very long time. "I thought you were dead. For a while I thought you weren't coming back from whatever he did with you when he took you." The words tumbled out in a rush of gratitude that Sarah was not, in fact, dead. But Layla didn't let her go. She wasn't letting one millimeter of space between them if she could help it.
Remaining just as quiet and just as intent on remaining close to the other girl, Sarah let herself relax for the first time she could remember as well. Since that first damn bomb had went off back at the protest she'd been on tenterhooks, all throughout their capture and imprisonment, all the fighting and death and destruction. Now that all of that was - hopefully - done and now that she was finally in Layla's arms she could start to calm down.
When she'd been reverted back to her normal self, fleeting flickers of her time as a mutate form had burst through her mind. None of the images stuck, however, and she had no idea what she'd actually done during the time she was under, which was just as terrifying to her in one way. With all the devastation around her it was hard not to be overwhelmed by at all. The brief moment of relaxation was quickly replaced by fear and confusion. What had she done? Had she killed anyone? Oh dear lord, she sure hoped not. "No, it's me, it's Sarah. But I was... I wasn't me, I... I can't remember. But oh, Layla, please tell me I didn't hurt anyone or... or worse." The thought alone was too much to bear and she immediately buried her head back into her girlfriend's shoulder.
A hand came up with the intention of smoothing down Sarah's hair except she didn't have any anymore. It was a moment of disorientation. Layla had seen Sarah, clearly bald, but with her eyes closed as they were she kept picturing her hair being there. It was only a second of her hand pausing, though, and then it did exactly what it would have if her girlfriend's hair was still there, running from the top of Sarah's head down her neck and to mid-back before coming back up to do it again. "I dunno," she answered, honest and quiet and speaking into the other girl's ear. "I haven't seen you since they took you. Not until you showed up here when that crazy asshole was shooting at us. But...it wasn't you. Everyone knows it wasn't you. It's not your fault if you did anything. You had...you had a person. A controller. They gave orders and you did them. That's what it was with Yvette anyway. And...it's okay. Everyone knows it wasn't you. That you wouldn't ever hurt people."
She would later miss her hair terribly, though for right now she was focusing on the fact that she was alive and, more importantly, so was Layla. That was all that mattered at the moment. Her hands still remained in the blonde's hair, selfishly enjoying that sensation even if she couldn't reciprocate the same to the other girl. Not that it was either of their fault, of course, she just wished she could have offered at least that much comfort. "It wasn't, I swear it wasn't." She shuddered at the thought, of being under someone else's control and doing someone else's bidding. With her powers, with the things she could do, it was a scary thought. Had she been hacking people's information, stealing identities, or maybe even using weapons or something like... like that thing they'd just had to fight? Then she heard Layla mention Yvette and she realized she wasn't the only one who'd been used like that. "Oh my gosh, Layla, is Yvette ok? Who else did they take? Are they all ok, are... oh, Layla, are you ok?" She mentally scolded herself for taking that long to ask if the most important person of all to her was alright.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I think I need a band aid or something, but I'm fine." Okay, it was possible she needed stitches but Sarah really didn't need to hear that right now. "I think Yvette's okay, too. I don't know who else they got. I think Callie, maybe? And someone else? They took you all and some of you got away and some didn't and got put in that fucking machine and...I only saw Yvette when she was all brainwashified and stuff. But I'm pretty sure she's okay and whoever was okay. And I'm pretty sure we're all alive." A lump developed suddenly in Layla's throat. "Except a little girl. She got put in the machine that brainwashed you and she...she didn't come out. But everyone else is okay. We just need sleep. And showers. Ohmigod showers."
She fretted about Layla but it sounded like she was doing ok, and the main thing was the whole being alive part. The rest would be taken care of later, she was sure, as soon as they went home. Sarah couldn't wait to get back there, which was an odd thought, actually being excited to go back to school in a sense. Pulling back enough to meet Layla's eyes - oh how she'd missed being able to do that - she reflexively moved a hand to brush back her nonexistent hair, turning it into a hopefully nonchalant scratch of her not-actually-itchy-at-all cheek.
She sniffled and nodded at the news that everyone seemed to be ok, until Layla mentioned the little girl. "Oh, no, that's horrible, that's... those bastards, why did they do this in the first place?" The idea of someone else going through the same thing and dying made her stomach turn, partly in sorrow over the poor soul who'd been killed, and also partly in a form of survivor's guilt. She was glad it wasn't her or her friends, and that was wrong somehow, wasn't it? Sarah shook her head and nodded at the mention of sleep and showers, both which sounded like a priceless luxury to her now. "We do, I want to fall asleep in a steaming hot shower for at least a day when we get back." It was an attempt at humour to try and set aside the pangs of guilt she'd felt.
When Layla finally opened her eyes to find Sarah looking straight at her she gave her girlfriend a smile. It was on the weak side, but it was about as good as she could do right now. She was so exhausted. Not just physically but mentally. Layla wanted to curl up in a ball with Sarah and not move for like a week. Or a month. Maybe a year. "Can you, like, fall asleep in the bath instead? 'Cause I get there's a whole 'she might drown' thing involved there but I think it's easier to keep you from drowning than it is to deal with the, like, head trauma from when you pass out cold in the shower. And I'd like really, really appreciate you not like ending up hospitalized or something. 'Cause like the medlab beds aren't as comfortable as like, say, my bed. You know?" Which was Layla's none too subtle hint that she had every intention of stealing Sarah away to said bed for some time once they were within bed distance.
The blonde was definitely not alone in that feeling. Exhaustion was taking its toll on Sarah as well, though more so physically since her mental faculties had been effectively blacked out for the last extended period. The stress of thinking about that was taxing as well, and not likely to go away any time soon. "I don't know, maybe. I'd settle for a bath, yeah, anything warm." Sarah wasn't about to get fussy, just as long as she could get clean and she could relax her aching muscles. Her own small smile came out for Layla, thinking about resting with her girlfriend like they used to do before the madness that was Genosha. "I do know, and I miss it. Once we get home, though, which... I hope we're going soon." She finally broke her gaze with Layla long enough to look around and see exactly what was going around them, only for a heartbeat or two before looking back at her girlfriend, squeezing Layla a little and leaning back into her.
Layla took the time to look around them when Sarah did. People were doing...things. Checking on people, talking, looking serious, looking relieved. Overall, Layla had no fucking clue what was going on, so she laid her head on Sarah's shoulder and let herself relax a little bit more. "I dunno, probably. I really wanna get this skin suit thing off. There are needles going into our spines, you know. And I don't even wanna think of their little 'recycling' thing they have going on. But can we just, like, find somewhere to like sit down and wait until someone tells us what to do?"
Tilting her head so that it rested against Layla's, Sarah pulled the other girl a little closer to her. Her face scrunched up at the idea of needles and such inside the suits, what the heck? "Ew, no, I don't want to think about that either." She didn't want to think about any of it but that was going to be impossible, at least for the foreseeable future. All she wanted to do now was go home and rest with her girlfriend, and check in with her family to let them know she was ok. She wondered if they knew what she'd been going through, or that she was missing even, but before those thoughts could snowball into an avalanche of worry she put them aside. "I like that idea, yeah." There was a fallen steel girder not too far from them that looked to be stable and safe enough to sit on so she headed for it, still holding onto Layla. "I think we're earned a little rest after all of this."
Pulling Layla around was beyond easy. Where Sarah went Layla followed, shuffling along with only the absolute minimum amount of space between them so they didn't trip over one another. Clingy? Perhaps. She thought they both deserved some super pathetic girlfriend clinging here. Layla straddled the girder and when it didn't shift, snap or otherwise fail as a perch she wrapped her arms right back around Sarah's waist, burying her face in the other girl's neck and whispering, "I missed you."
Sarah sat down on the girder beside Layla, as close as it was physically possible to do so. Her hands went back to the other girl's hair once they were settled in, leaning back against Layla and smiling a little for the first time in a long while. "I missed you too, Layla." No other words need have been said. Being back together was the most important thing then, after all, and Sarah hoped that was the first step on what would likely prove to be a long road to recovery after the events of Genosha.
"After the dust settled" always seemed like it was just a metaphor. Metaphor dust metaphor settling. But no, Layla was finding out it wasn't really so much figurative as it was literal. All around her dust and dirt and bits of whatever was settling down now that the fighting was over. Now that everything was sort of calming and quieting. But Layla wasn't settling. Layla was searching. There hadn't been time before. Processing, reacting, acknowledging...it had all needed to wait. But she'd seen her. She knew she was here. She was alive. She was, presumably, alright. And Layla needed to find her. It became such an overwhelming and driving need that the blond had gone into that instinct driven frame of mind she'd been in for what felt like days now.
Her instincts were clearly dulling, though, because she came up in a corner once and found some official looking person the second time. Sarah was nowhere to be seen at either location. But Layla kept searching until she found the only person she really cared about right now. The only person it mattered to find. Layla walked straight up to her girlfriend and, without a word or any concern for who was nearby, kissed her. She didn't even realize tears had started to tumble down her cheeks.
Seeing Layla earlier in the fighting had given Sarah strength, had helped her to push on and contribute whatever she could in the fight to bring that monstrosity down, but now she was completely and utterly spent. She'd seen the blonde earlier in all the fighting and knew that she was ok, that she was alive, and that was all that mattered. Too tired to do more than just stand, and even then she was hunched over, leaning on some debris from the fracas. Her breath was ragged and she was wheezing a little, but when she looked up and saw Layla approaching she straightened up, mustering up the strength to speak before she was interrupted by her girlfriend's kiss.
Instantly her weight shifted from resting on the debris to leaning on Layla, which hopefully was alright with the other girl. She kissed her back, tears falling down her own cheeks as she clung to the other girl as if her life depended on it. Her hands wrapped around Layla, fingers brushing against her hair, which suddenly made her realize the loss of her own. Sarah was filthy, disheveled, and looked like she'd been through the wringer several times, and in a brief pang of vanity she hoped Layla didn't mind her appearance. At any rate she wasn't about to pull away from her, so she'd better not mind.
Leaning was fine. It was so totally okay that an arm snaked around Sarah's waist and pulled her closer, pulled her in until their bodies were fused together from thigh to waist to chest. Layla forgot everything else around them. She let the vivid after image of the surrounding scene fade from her mind. She tuned out the sounds and voices and noises until they were a dull, barely recognizable thrum in her awareness. And she just kissed Sarah, so relieved to finally have her hands on her. To finally know she was definitely okay. And her, Sarah was definitely Sarah and not some mindless non-thing in her body.
Only when Layla was absolutely certain she could not put off taking in a decent amount of air for any longer did she let the kiss break, let their lips part. Eyes still closed, forehead resting against her girlfriend's, Layla just breathed for the first time in what felt like a very long time. "I thought you were dead. For a while I thought you weren't coming back from whatever he did with you when he took you." The words tumbled out in a rush of gratitude that Sarah was not, in fact, dead. But Layla didn't let her go. She wasn't letting one millimeter of space between them if she could help it.
Remaining just as quiet and just as intent on remaining close to the other girl, Sarah let herself relax for the first time she could remember as well. Since that first damn bomb had went off back at the protest she'd been on tenterhooks, all throughout their capture and imprisonment, all the fighting and death and destruction. Now that all of that was - hopefully - done and now that she was finally in Layla's arms she could start to calm down.
When she'd been reverted back to her normal self, fleeting flickers of her time as a mutate form had burst through her mind. None of the images stuck, however, and she had no idea what she'd actually done during the time she was under, which was just as terrifying to her in one way. With all the devastation around her it was hard not to be overwhelmed by at all. The brief moment of relaxation was quickly replaced by fear and confusion. What had she done? Had she killed anyone? Oh dear lord, she sure hoped not. "No, it's me, it's Sarah. But I was... I wasn't me, I... I can't remember. But oh, Layla, please tell me I didn't hurt anyone or... or worse." The thought alone was too much to bear and she immediately buried her head back into her girlfriend's shoulder.
A hand came up with the intention of smoothing down Sarah's hair except she didn't have any anymore. It was a moment of disorientation. Layla had seen Sarah, clearly bald, but with her eyes closed as they were she kept picturing her hair being there. It was only a second of her hand pausing, though, and then it did exactly what it would have if her girlfriend's hair was still there, running from the top of Sarah's head down her neck and to mid-back before coming back up to do it again. "I dunno," she answered, honest and quiet and speaking into the other girl's ear. "I haven't seen you since they took you. Not until you showed up here when that crazy asshole was shooting at us. But...it wasn't you. Everyone knows it wasn't you. It's not your fault if you did anything. You had...you had a person. A controller. They gave orders and you did them. That's what it was with Yvette anyway. And...it's okay. Everyone knows it wasn't you. That you wouldn't ever hurt people."
She would later miss her hair terribly, though for right now she was focusing on the fact that she was alive and, more importantly, so was Layla. That was all that mattered at the moment. Her hands still remained in the blonde's hair, selfishly enjoying that sensation even if she couldn't reciprocate the same to the other girl. Not that it was either of their fault, of course, she just wished she could have offered at least that much comfort. "It wasn't, I swear it wasn't." She shuddered at the thought, of being under someone else's control and doing someone else's bidding. With her powers, with the things she could do, it was a scary thought. Had she been hacking people's information, stealing identities, or maybe even using weapons or something like... like that thing they'd just had to fight? Then she heard Layla mention Yvette and she realized she wasn't the only one who'd been used like that. "Oh my gosh, Layla, is Yvette ok? Who else did they take? Are they all ok, are... oh, Layla, are you ok?" She mentally scolded herself for taking that long to ask if the most important person of all to her was alright.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I think I need a band aid or something, but I'm fine." Okay, it was possible she needed stitches but Sarah really didn't need to hear that right now. "I think Yvette's okay, too. I don't know who else they got. I think Callie, maybe? And someone else? They took you all and some of you got away and some didn't and got put in that fucking machine and...I only saw Yvette when she was all brainwashified and stuff. But I'm pretty sure she's okay and whoever was okay. And I'm pretty sure we're all alive." A lump developed suddenly in Layla's throat. "Except a little girl. She got put in the machine that brainwashed you and she...she didn't come out. But everyone else is okay. We just need sleep. And showers. Ohmigod showers."
She fretted about Layla but it sounded like she was doing ok, and the main thing was the whole being alive part. The rest would be taken care of later, she was sure, as soon as they went home. Sarah couldn't wait to get back there, which was an odd thought, actually being excited to go back to school in a sense. Pulling back enough to meet Layla's eyes - oh how she'd missed being able to do that - she reflexively moved a hand to brush back her nonexistent hair, turning it into a hopefully nonchalant scratch of her not-actually-itchy-at-all cheek.
She sniffled and nodded at the news that everyone seemed to be ok, until Layla mentioned the little girl. "Oh, no, that's horrible, that's... those bastards, why did they do this in the first place?" The idea of someone else going through the same thing and dying made her stomach turn, partly in sorrow over the poor soul who'd been killed, and also partly in a form of survivor's guilt. She was glad it wasn't her or her friends, and that was wrong somehow, wasn't it? Sarah shook her head and nodded at the mention of sleep and showers, both which sounded like a priceless luxury to her now. "We do, I want to fall asleep in a steaming hot shower for at least a day when we get back." It was an attempt at humour to try and set aside the pangs of guilt she'd felt.
When Layla finally opened her eyes to find Sarah looking straight at her she gave her girlfriend a smile. It was on the weak side, but it was about as good as she could do right now. She was so exhausted. Not just physically but mentally. Layla wanted to curl up in a ball with Sarah and not move for like a week. Or a month. Maybe a year. "Can you, like, fall asleep in the bath instead? 'Cause I get there's a whole 'she might drown' thing involved there but I think it's easier to keep you from drowning than it is to deal with the, like, head trauma from when you pass out cold in the shower. And I'd like really, really appreciate you not like ending up hospitalized or something. 'Cause like the medlab beds aren't as comfortable as like, say, my bed. You know?" Which was Layla's none too subtle hint that she had every intention of stealing Sarah away to said bed for some time once they were within bed distance.
The blonde was definitely not alone in that feeling. Exhaustion was taking its toll on Sarah as well, though more so physically since her mental faculties had been effectively blacked out for the last extended period. The stress of thinking about that was taxing as well, and not likely to go away any time soon. "I don't know, maybe. I'd settle for a bath, yeah, anything warm." Sarah wasn't about to get fussy, just as long as she could get clean and she could relax her aching muscles. Her own small smile came out for Layla, thinking about resting with her girlfriend like they used to do before the madness that was Genosha. "I do know, and I miss it. Once we get home, though, which... I hope we're going soon." She finally broke her gaze with Layla long enough to look around and see exactly what was going around them, only for a heartbeat or two before looking back at her girlfriend, squeezing Layla a little and leaning back into her.
Layla took the time to look around them when Sarah did. People were doing...things. Checking on people, talking, looking serious, looking relieved. Overall, Layla had no fucking clue what was going on, so she laid her head on Sarah's shoulder and let herself relax a little bit more. "I dunno, probably. I really wanna get this skin suit thing off. There are needles going into our spines, you know. And I don't even wanna think of their little 'recycling' thing they have going on. But can we just, like, find somewhere to like sit down and wait until someone tells us what to do?"
Tilting her head so that it rested against Layla's, Sarah pulled the other girl a little closer to her. Her face scrunched up at the idea of needles and such inside the suits, what the heck? "Ew, no, I don't want to think about that either." She didn't want to think about any of it but that was going to be impossible, at least for the foreseeable future. All she wanted to do now was go home and rest with her girlfriend, and check in with her family to let them know she was ok. She wondered if they knew what she'd been going through, or that she was missing even, but before those thoughts could snowball into an avalanche of worry she put them aside. "I like that idea, yeah." There was a fallen steel girder not too far from them that looked to be stable and safe enough to sit on so she headed for it, still holding onto Layla. "I think we're earned a little rest after all of this."
Pulling Layla around was beyond easy. Where Sarah went Layla followed, shuffling along with only the absolute minimum amount of space between them so they didn't trip over one another. Clingy? Perhaps. She thought they both deserved some super pathetic girlfriend clinging here. Layla straddled the girder and when it didn't shift, snap or otherwise fail as a perch she wrapped her arms right back around Sarah's waist, burying her face in the other girl's neck and whispering, "I missed you."
Sarah sat down on the girder beside Layla, as close as it was physically possible to do so. Her hands went back to the other girl's hair once they were settled in, leaning back against Layla and smiling a little for the first time in a long while. "I missed you too, Layla." No other words need have been said. Being back together was the most important thing then, after all, and Sarah hoped that was the first step on what would likely prove to be a long road to recovery after the events of Genosha.