xp_logs | Angel and Maddie

Maddie is homesick. Angel is all full of worldly wisdom and comfort.

While smaller than the mansion, the Boathouse still provided enough free space that it didn't feel as crowded. The fact that fewer people hung out there on average also helped the situation. So when Maddie really wanted to be alone and the partitioned off portion of her shared room just wasn't cutting it (being the first place anyone would likely look for her if they were looking) she sought refuge here and dive headfirst into whatever medium struck her fancy.

But today nothing called out to her. The paintbrushes and drawing implements felt unwieldy, the colors all flat, and the earthy aroma of clay made her feel queasy. It was like all of her muses had decided to go on vacation without telling her. Which was how Maddie found herself laying on the couch in the lounge idly sorting pictures from prom on her laptop.

Nothing, Angel reflected as she walked into the Boathouse and saw the girl on the couch, was more suspicious than a Maddie who wasn't in motion. It was almost strange, seeing the younger redhead still. "Hey Mads," Angel said conversationally, tilting her head a bit. "What's happening?"

"Hey Angel," the teen replied, her eyes still glued to the screen as another photo of her and Sue dancing appeared on it. It wasn't like she couldn't recognize the girls voice. But to offer some acknowledgement of Angel's presence, Maddie raised her hand briefly in the air as a sign of greeting. "Just looking at some pictures from prom. Going through and deleting the really crappy ones where everything is all blurry or it's too dark and shit."

Angel, ever the nosy person, leaned over the back of the couch to examine the pictures. "Proms are the worst for picture opportunities," she noted conversationally. "Lighting is horrible, everyone's moving. Ugh. That one came out pretty good though, you and Sue are adorable. Am I allowed to call you adorable?"

"Yeah." To which of Angel's statements Maddie was agreeing with she didn't clarify; she was only half-paying attention as she quickly deleted the next several images. As she shifted to afford Angel a better view of her screen, she continued. "I didn't take all of them, obviously, but Momma wanted all the pictures." She sighed heavily and stared at the photo of herself, trying to decide if it was too dark or not. "So now it's time to cull the herd."

"That one's cute," Angel said with a nod. "If you want I can lighten some of the darker ones for you, I have the software on my laptop. But I'm guessing whether or not a picture is too dark isn't all that's on your mind."

Maddie leaned her head back to stare at the older girl, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as if she were hearing Angel for the first time. "Huh," she asked. It took a few seconds for the younger redhead to pull herself out of the pile of thoughts that had accumulated in her mind, but once she did her features relaxed into a smile. "Oh yeah thanks. That would be great. Photoshopping or whatever isn't my strong suit."

As to the latter part of Angel's question, Maddie offered only a noncommittal shrug. "I'm just thinking. This is my thinking face."

"No problem, just send 'em to me," Angel said with a nod. "I had to take a class a couple semesters back and - you don't care. Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?"

"Mom got all choked up over the pictures I sent." Maddie rolled her eyes and shook her head, the smile indicating that she actually wasn't that upset about this part. "I think she was more excited about me going to prom than I was. Dad told me later that she was upset that she hadn't been here to help me find a dress and help me get dolled up and take a ridiculous amount of pictures." The pensive frown reappeared and the teen looked back down at her laptop. "Just got me thinking is all."

"Dad promised he would teach me how to drive, which isn't really going to happen now obviously. And they couldn't come see me in the show. I mean, I sent them the DVD, but it's just not the same, you know? Now there's my first prom, and they don't know any of my friends or Sue. G-d, I miss my mom's cooking so much. And I have control over my powers. Can't do anything fancy or whatever, but that's okay I don't need to. So maybe I should go home. But I don't want to leave. I wish I could pick up everybody I love and make it so we were all in a close enough proximity that I could see everyone fairly frequently. I mean, at first I really missed them and then it was like I could do stuff without their permission. Like I didn't have to ask them to let me go out with Clint and Billy and Sue to that arcade, or have them worry about me being home by a certain time. But now I really miss them again. They're like not here, and I'm not there, and we all have our own lives without one another. She sighed, relieved to just get it all out.

Ah. Angel walked around to sit on the end of the couch, setting her camera aside. "It sucks being away from your family," she agreed with that quite readily. "You talk to them on the phone all the time, but it's not the same, right? And seeing them a couple times a year for holidays or whatever just doesn't cut it."

Maddie certainly hadn't started out with the intention to divulge all this information, but sometimes the connection between her brain and mouth wouldn't cut off and a string of word vomit would come pouring out. And it wasn't like she could talk with any of her friends about it, she didn't think they would understand. It was like half of her peers had lost their parents while the other half lived close by, at least compared to her parents. They could go home more easily, while she was only able to go home during long breaks, well really just for Christmas now that she was staying in New York and working as a lifeguard for the summer.

And Angel was supposed to be her mentor, right? Even though this wasn't related to New Mutants, well she at least seemed like she wanted to help.

With another sigh she closed her laptop and gently placed it on the ground beside the couch and hugged her knees to her chest. "I wish I could just take everyone I love and put them all in a close enough proximity to visit them when I wanted. I mean I love the freedom, but I miss them. And part of me wants to leave the mansion. But I know that living with them won't be the same as it used to be with all I've gone through. And I don't want to leave everyone here."

And Angel really did want to help. The problem was, there was no quick fix-it, no incredible answer that would make everything okay. "That would be better, wouldn't it? Just, like, own your own city or something, everyone can just live there, all good. I can't tell you what to do, though. I mean, I could sit here with you and help you list out all the reasons why it would be good to go home and why it would be good to stay here, but you already know all that." It was a tricky situation all around. There were reasons it was better to stay at the mansion, but then again there was a good argument for going back to the parents who loved and cared for her.

"But what do I do?" There was a hint of frustration in the younger girl's voice. "You could have gone home for college. Other than the X-Men, why did you stay in NY?"

Angel tilted her head at the question. "Well...part of it was what you said before. Our parents love us, sure, but they'll never really understand the things we have to deal with, being mutants, or the things we've seen as students here. But more than that...I'd been here for four years by the time I was getting ready to go off for college. The people here - the teachers, my friends - they're my family. Sure, they're not my parents and we're not related by blood, but they're the people who understand, they're the ones I can talk to when things get hard or I get bugged because people are idiots sometimes. Sure, I miss my family, but I love living here too. And leaving is...sort of hard, to be honest. I mean, I went to England, not quite the same as going home to my family, but the point still stands. I missed this place so much when I was gone. It's home."

Maddie was quiet for a few moments, eyes unfocused as the thoughts shifted around in her mind. "I really don't want to go back to Alaska," she announced definitively. "I mean, did you see me all bundled up this winter? There is nothing I hate more than having to wear pants when I don't want to." She motioned to the bare legs sticking out of her shorts. "Which is like always. But if I don't have at least two layers on my legs I turn into a Maddie-cicle."

"Yeah, you don't strike me as the snow-bunny type," Angel said with a small smile. "And summers are only, like, five minutes long in Alaska. Can you imagine that?"

"Um, I have?" Maddie rolled her eyes and reached down to pick up her laptop. Somewhere in there, Maddie wasn't quite sure where, the sadness had lifted. Maybe not completely, but enough for her to realize that this was where she wanted to be. Angel was right, even though she wasn't related to any of them by blood, the was kinda like a massive, crazy dysfunctional family in its own right. She imagined that this was almost what growing up with siblings was like: someone always seemed to be around to talk to or hang out with, and sometimes you just wanted to throw them in the lake for being so annoying.

"You know, you're not bad at this whole mentoring thing."

"Then you already know how horrible it is." Angels' smile turned into a full-grown grin as Maddie returned her attention to the laptop. "Yeah? Well glad I could help. You know I'm always up for babbling at you if you need it. Or shutting up if you need that."

An identical smile spread across the teen's face. It felt good, actually, having someone who had a similar background to talk about things with. Maddie didn't really want to go back to Alaska, but she wanted to make sure that her parents were still involved in her life. "Thanks," she replied as she waited for her computer to wake up. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to compose a very important email."

"Wait," Maddie quickly added. "Did you say Sue and I were cute?"

Angel grabbed her camera, jumping up quickly. "Don't let me keep you from your email. Talk to you later." And with that she rushed off for the sanctuary of her dark room.