Amanda Sefton (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
xp_daytripper) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
xp_logs2019-09-07 12:18 am
xp_daytripper) wrote in xp_logs2019-09-07 12:18 am
Entry tags:
Kevin and Amanda - Debrief
Kevin provides some research Amanda asked for. And some more besides.
“That’s what I can find about Richard Carlisle. I pulled in some favours from friends across the pond. You want to tell me why you wanted this? I mean, there’s nothing from the last decade and most of it is before.” Kevin dropped a thick file on Amanda’s desk and tossed the USB drive on top.
Amanda abruptly pushed away what she’d been working on and pounced on the file. “I totally owe you for this,” she said, already leafing through the pages before realising there had been a question attached there. “It’s sort of hard to explain, but, um, he sort of was my foster dad? If you count abduction as a legal way of acquiring a kid.”
“OK. Well, that’s fucked up but not a new story. Why do you need intel on him? Is the old fucker still out there or something? According to sources, he’s been in the ground for years now.”
Amanda paused, considering how to answer this without causing the world to vanish. “Just tying up loose ends. And maybe there’s a certain amount of personal interest here.” She sighed. “Plus, I wasn’t his only ‘apprentice’. The other was Adam Destine, the one in the report I filed recently? I wanted to see what the full deal was there, make sure there wasn’t anyone else about to turn up.”
“So both are in the ground?” Kevin fished around his jacket pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Clea kept leaving pointed ‘No Smoking’ signs around the office that he regularly ignored. He lit one and offered the pack to Amanda. “Something we need to be worried about?”
“I don’t think so. But there’s been plenty of surprises over the past few years that I wanted to do my due diligence.” She took the offered cigarette and lit up with a slightly guilty glance at the reception desk, before offering the lighter to Kevin. “Rack made a lot of deals to get where he did, and so did Adam – I want to be sure they don’t have any followers about to seek revenge.”
“Sure… but, well-“ Kevin lit his cigarette. “This is more. Sorry, five decades as a spymaster. I know when motivations aren’t simple. What are you really looking for?”
She snorted. “You know, I think I would have been disappointed if you hadn’t asked.” She took another drag on her cigarette and tapped ash into the empty take-out coffee cup on her desk. “I left Adam there. With Rack. I got a chance to get out and I took it, but I didn’t go back for him.”
“Sorry, what? You had a chance to get him out when you were fifteen?” Kevin shook his head and tapped the file. “Is that what this is? Survivor guilt?”
“Maybe?” Amanda winced. “I know how it looks and I should know better. I mean, part of me does. But I guess I needed to be sure. Have all the information available. My memories of back then aren’t the best. Trauma, I guess.”
“So why didn’t anyone else get him out? You were in the mansion, I’m told. Why didn’t the X-Men get on their plane, grab him and put your shitty foster dad into the dirt at the time?”
“Magic?” She shrugged. “I mean, I don’t really know, I wasn’t exactly privy to X-Men decisions back then, even before I got expelled, but from what I gather, they didn’t really have a lot of experience with the whole magic thing. I was the first student they’d had who could do it, and Rack was way out of their league in that sense.”
“So, if the mansion didn’t do it and your fifteen year old operative skills and resources didn’t do it, why are you revisiting it?” Kevin blew out a long plume of smoke. “Unless you’re looking to tear yourself up for shit you had no control over? Yes, yes, I know. I should be HR.”
“You’re such an arsehole.” It was said mildly, however. “Like I said, I know I should know better. Maybe I’m just filling all the gaps before filing it away as ‘stuff I fucked up but can’t change’.” She took another drag and blew out smoke, turning her gaze to him. “I’ve got a question, tho’. How is it a former CIA operative knows so fucking much about magic? I doubt the White House followed the Winding Way, even back then.”
“CIA collects intelligence Lots of it doesn’t make sense. That’s where the magic, aliens, and conspiracy theories come in.” Kevin shrugged. “I worked the New York field office for years. There’s a lot of weird that lands in this city, Even if I couldn’t push it up the food chain, I learned to take it seriously. The thing to remember is that magic is just one part of someone. Fear, loyalty, patriotism; all of those leak in when someone ends up talking to the men in black.”
“So that’s how you knew about Mr. Jip?” Amanda asked. It wasn’t something she’d been wondering about ever since Warren had told her the whole story.
“I know about a dozen Mr. Jips. That doesn’t mean I believe all of them.” He said. “You worried that your magical community isn’t as secret as you think?”
“No, more that there’s a bloody great gaping hole in my intelligence. You know as well as I do, surprises aren’t good things.”
“The CIA isn’t going to be the source you need. We knew a lot, but we didn’t take stock in most of it. You’d be better off taking Clea and re-establishing your presence in the community. First-hand intelligence is the most valuable possible.”
“You might have something there…” Amanda considered the suggestion. “But Clea? I don’t think she’s ready for someone like Jip.”
“No. Not even close. But there’s only one way to train her up until she is.” Kevin locked eyes with her. “She’s not your sister or your daughter. I fed her into Madripoor’s sex trade and she did her job. It’s time to decide whether you trust her to move forward or to cut her off. It’s that simple.”
Kevin tapped the file. “Your decision, Sefton. Move forward or live in the past.”
Amanda stared at the file for a long moment, the cigarette burning unheeded in her fingers. Her conversation with Topaz came back to her; yes, she had lost her previous students, but smothering the new generation wasn’t helping them. Maybe she should let them make their own mistakes.
And if they died?
She gulped. “Did you ever lose anyone, Kevin? Someone you were responsible for? Because that’s where I am right now. I don’t know if I can handle losing another – I’ve already lost so many.”
“Oh kid…” Kevin shook his head. “I can’t tell you how many I lost… or abandoned or betrayed. This job is a meat grinder. You suck the life out of people for what you need and then you discard them. And the worst part? If you do it right? You put the emotions away and you move on. This is a monstrous world that is only justified if you believe in what you’re doing. Do you believe in what you’re doing?”
“Yes.” It was said without hesitation. “But that’s the thing. I believe in what I’m doing. How do I know if Clea does? She’s so fucking young, how can she know what she’s choosing? What we’ll ask of her?” Amanda paused, then groaned and smacked herself in the forehead. “By asking it of her. Bringing her into the field and making her make the decisions. Bollocks. I’m such a numpty.”
“Houston, the Eagle has landed.” Kevin said dryly. “You know how old I am? The first time I heard those words, my wife and I screwed like lunatics immediately after. Come on. Let me buy you a drink on someone else’s tab in a bar that doesn’t have paper placemats.”
“That’s what I can find about Richard Carlisle. I pulled in some favours from friends across the pond. You want to tell me why you wanted this? I mean, there’s nothing from the last decade and most of it is before.” Kevin dropped a thick file on Amanda’s desk and tossed the USB drive on top.
Amanda abruptly pushed away what she’d been working on and pounced on the file. “I totally owe you for this,” she said, already leafing through the pages before realising there had been a question attached there. “It’s sort of hard to explain, but, um, he sort of was my foster dad? If you count abduction as a legal way of acquiring a kid.”
“OK. Well, that’s fucked up but not a new story. Why do you need intel on him? Is the old fucker still out there or something? According to sources, he’s been in the ground for years now.”
Amanda paused, considering how to answer this without causing the world to vanish. “Just tying up loose ends. And maybe there’s a certain amount of personal interest here.” She sighed. “Plus, I wasn’t his only ‘apprentice’. The other was Adam Destine, the one in the report I filed recently? I wanted to see what the full deal was there, make sure there wasn’t anyone else about to turn up.”
“So both are in the ground?” Kevin fished around his jacket pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Clea kept leaving pointed ‘No Smoking’ signs around the office that he regularly ignored. He lit one and offered the pack to Amanda. “Something we need to be worried about?”
“I don’t think so. But there’s been plenty of surprises over the past few years that I wanted to do my due diligence.” She took the offered cigarette and lit up with a slightly guilty glance at the reception desk, before offering the lighter to Kevin. “Rack made a lot of deals to get where he did, and so did Adam – I want to be sure they don’t have any followers about to seek revenge.”
“Sure… but, well-“ Kevin lit his cigarette. “This is more. Sorry, five decades as a spymaster. I know when motivations aren’t simple. What are you really looking for?”
She snorted. “You know, I think I would have been disappointed if you hadn’t asked.” She took another drag on her cigarette and tapped ash into the empty take-out coffee cup on her desk. “I left Adam there. With Rack. I got a chance to get out and I took it, but I didn’t go back for him.”
“Sorry, what? You had a chance to get him out when you were fifteen?” Kevin shook his head and tapped the file. “Is that what this is? Survivor guilt?”
“Maybe?” Amanda winced. “I know how it looks and I should know better. I mean, part of me does. But I guess I needed to be sure. Have all the information available. My memories of back then aren’t the best. Trauma, I guess.”
“So why didn’t anyone else get him out? You were in the mansion, I’m told. Why didn’t the X-Men get on their plane, grab him and put your shitty foster dad into the dirt at the time?”
“Magic?” She shrugged. “I mean, I don’t really know, I wasn’t exactly privy to X-Men decisions back then, even before I got expelled, but from what I gather, they didn’t really have a lot of experience with the whole magic thing. I was the first student they’d had who could do it, and Rack was way out of their league in that sense.”
“So, if the mansion didn’t do it and your fifteen year old operative skills and resources didn’t do it, why are you revisiting it?” Kevin blew out a long plume of smoke. “Unless you’re looking to tear yourself up for shit you had no control over? Yes, yes, I know. I should be HR.”
“You’re such an arsehole.” It was said mildly, however. “Like I said, I know I should know better. Maybe I’m just filling all the gaps before filing it away as ‘stuff I fucked up but can’t change’.” She took another drag and blew out smoke, turning her gaze to him. “I’ve got a question, tho’. How is it a former CIA operative knows so fucking much about magic? I doubt the White House followed the Winding Way, even back then.”
“CIA collects intelligence Lots of it doesn’t make sense. That’s where the magic, aliens, and conspiracy theories come in.” Kevin shrugged. “I worked the New York field office for years. There’s a lot of weird that lands in this city, Even if I couldn’t push it up the food chain, I learned to take it seriously. The thing to remember is that magic is just one part of someone. Fear, loyalty, patriotism; all of those leak in when someone ends up talking to the men in black.”
“So that’s how you knew about Mr. Jip?” Amanda asked. It wasn’t something she’d been wondering about ever since Warren had told her the whole story.
“I know about a dozen Mr. Jips. That doesn’t mean I believe all of them.” He said. “You worried that your magical community isn’t as secret as you think?”
“No, more that there’s a bloody great gaping hole in my intelligence. You know as well as I do, surprises aren’t good things.”
“The CIA isn’t going to be the source you need. We knew a lot, but we didn’t take stock in most of it. You’d be better off taking Clea and re-establishing your presence in the community. First-hand intelligence is the most valuable possible.”
“You might have something there…” Amanda considered the suggestion. “But Clea? I don’t think she’s ready for someone like Jip.”
“No. Not even close. But there’s only one way to train her up until she is.” Kevin locked eyes with her. “She’s not your sister or your daughter. I fed her into Madripoor’s sex trade and she did her job. It’s time to decide whether you trust her to move forward or to cut her off. It’s that simple.”
Kevin tapped the file. “Your decision, Sefton. Move forward or live in the past.”
Amanda stared at the file for a long moment, the cigarette burning unheeded in her fingers. Her conversation with Topaz came back to her; yes, she had lost her previous students, but smothering the new generation wasn’t helping them. Maybe she should let them make their own mistakes.
And if they died?
She gulped. “Did you ever lose anyone, Kevin? Someone you were responsible for? Because that’s where I am right now. I don’t know if I can handle losing another – I’ve already lost so many.”
“Oh kid…” Kevin shook his head. “I can’t tell you how many I lost… or abandoned or betrayed. This job is a meat grinder. You suck the life out of people for what you need and then you discard them. And the worst part? If you do it right? You put the emotions away and you move on. This is a monstrous world that is only justified if you believe in what you’re doing. Do you believe in what you’re doing?”
“Yes.” It was said without hesitation. “But that’s the thing. I believe in what I’m doing. How do I know if Clea does? She’s so fucking young, how can she know what she’s choosing? What we’ll ask of her?” Amanda paused, then groaned and smacked herself in the forehead. “By asking it of her. Bringing her into the field and making her make the decisions. Bollocks. I’m such a numpty.”
“Houston, the Eagle has landed.” Kevin said dryly. “You know how old I am? The first time I heard those words, my wife and I screwed like lunatics immediately after. Come on. Let me buy you a drink on someone else’s tab in a bar that doesn’t have paper placemats.”