http://x_tarot.livejournal.com/ (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
x-tarot.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
xp_logs2004-09-07 03:41 am
x-tarot.livejournal.com) wrote in xp_logs2004-09-07 03:41 am
Entry tags:
Last night, around 3am
After talking to Shinobi (log to come later) and Nathan (Log to come later), Marie-Ange sneaks into Doug and Jamie's room, because she can't sleep. Doug is sleepily reassuring, but they will talk later.
The snack had not helped, taking a walk had not helped, burying her face in her pillow and trying not to -cry- had not helped. Marie-Ange could not sleep, and it was certainly not because of impending nightmares. Those had a very specific set of symptoms. For instance, generally she was not -tired- during those bouts of insomnia, and in fact, usually she was a bit energetic.
After trying to read, which only made her head hurt and eyes feel dry and itchy, and after finding out that there really was nothing on television at 3am (and after realizing that the TiVo was too hard to figure out when she was this tired), Marie-Ange decided that if nothing else, at least she could find out one way or another how angry Doug was going to be with her.
The door to Doug and Jamie's room was thankfully unlocked - whether on accident or done on purpose, Marie-Ange did not care. She eased it open, and padded in silently, moving as slowly as possible to avoid Doug's random-piles-of-books.
Doug had done a little bit of crying himself to sleep after staying up to find no response by Marie-Ange to his journal comment. It had been difficult to get to sleep, but eventually he had managed. His sleep was rather fitful, though, and he rolled around fairly regularly, trying to get comfortable.
Torn between nudging Doug awake and letting him sleep, Marie-Ange stood by his bed for some time, watching him. It was fairly obvious he was restless, and Marie-Ange knew she was very likely the source of the distress. Slowly, trying not to cause him to wake up startled, she sat down on the very edge of the bed and ran her fingers through Doug's hair.
The soft touch of Marie-Ange's hand woke Doug up from his light sleep, and he lurched slightly in his bed, disoriented. "Huh?" he murmured quietly and sleepily. "Angie? Wh'time'sit? Can' be time f'r class yet..." He turned slightly into her hand and shifted, trying to find a comfortable position.
"No, it goes 'gold, gold, _gold_, gold gold." The half-mumbled proclamation from Jamie's half of the room was oddly insistent, and followed by an even more mumbled "I don't want to sing for the dwarf queen."
Doug blinked, the surrealism of having been woken up extending even further. "Uh, why don't you tell the dwarf queen that, then, Jamie?" he asked tentatively. Jamie seemed to accept this as reasonable and settled back down to sleep, mumbling under his breath, probably to the dwarf queen in question.
Marie-Ange brushed her fingers over Doug's cheek, still worried that he might fully wake up and remember to be angry with her. "It is not time to get up. I just .. I cannot sleep. I did not mean to wake you."
Doug did, in fact, wake up a bit more. Seeing the worry and hesitance in Marie-Ange's body language, he opened his arms wide. "Oh, Angie..." he murmured. "C'mere," he said, drawing her down to lay within the circle of his arms. "I love you. So much," he told her firmly, kissing the hair on top of her head.
Even curled up next to Doug, Marie-Ange couldn't help but shiver and bite her bottom lip nervously. "I am sorry. I should not have made that post, and I should have talked to someone. If not you, than Nathan or Dr. MacTaggart or ... someone."
Doug simply stroked Marie-Ange's hair and made soothing noises in response. "It's okay, mon coeur," he replied. "As much as we want to be adults sometimes, we're still teenagers," he said with a soft smile. "And sometimes teenagers pitch tantrums because they aren't getting enough attention. It's all terribly normal, love. Besides, your power puts so much stress on you, because it's so vague and you want to be able to help everyone," he said slightly more seriously. "I just wish I could do more to help you with it," he whispered. "And if I haven't been paying enough attention to you lately, I am so sorry," he said as he pulled her even tighter into his arms and hugged her.
"Normal does not make it right. I yelled at everyone who was trying to help." Marie-Ange sighed quietly and clutched at Doug's arms. "Everyone says I should not feel like it is my responsibility to help, but I do not know what else I can do. I cannot ignore what I see.. " She paused. "I am sorry about throwing my cards and notebook at you.."
Doug smiled. "It's okay, love, I promise. As for feeling like it's your responsibility to help, one of the things I love about you is how much you try to help others. All that I worry about is when you push yourself too far, like you did with the fire dreams about Nathan. You have to take care of yourself first if you want to be able to help others, love."
At mention of the dreams she had before the attack at Columbia, Marie-Ange let out a long sigh, and curled up, trying to hold back a wave of guilt. "I still could have helped. I .. I just need to figure out what those dreams mean when I have them without doing readings over and over.."
Doug nodded and continued to stroke Marie-Ange's hair. "Didn't Nathan say something about working with the Askani precognitives? That might help..." He shrugged. "I don't really know what else to do. Everything I know of your dreams seems like they're so vague and you'd almost have to guess what some of them mean..."
"And meditation. We are going to do both." Hopefully one of those would help, though Marie-Ange was not entirely confidant in either at the moment. "And I think letting people see my notes. At least Nathan, if no one else."
Doug nodded. "I think that's a good step, love." Yawning and stretching slightly, he smiled at Marie-Ange. "Since you're already here and in bed, you want to stay the night?" he asked with a smile.
"If I stay, can you promise Jamie will not sing about gold again?" Marie-Ange said, half-seriously. "His voice is bad enough when he is awake.."
Doug grinned. "If he wakes us up singing about gold, we can throw socks at him. Promise." He shifted slightly to make some more room for Marie-Ange, and lifted the covers up so that she could slip underneath them. "Love you," he said softly.
"Love you too. Talk more in the morning?" Marie-Ange still felt like she needed to apologize about a thousand times more, but at least Doug was not angry. "And help me find that notebook?"
"Of course, love," Doug responded, wrapping his arm around Marie-Ange's waist and spooning up behind her. Kissing her on the cheek, he closed his eyes. "See you in the morning, mon coeur."
The snack had not helped, taking a walk had not helped, burying her face in her pillow and trying not to -cry- had not helped. Marie-Ange could not sleep, and it was certainly not because of impending nightmares. Those had a very specific set of symptoms. For instance, generally she was not -tired- during those bouts of insomnia, and in fact, usually she was a bit energetic.
After trying to read, which only made her head hurt and eyes feel dry and itchy, and after finding out that there really was nothing on television at 3am (and after realizing that the TiVo was too hard to figure out when she was this tired), Marie-Ange decided that if nothing else, at least she could find out one way or another how angry Doug was going to be with her.
The door to Doug and Jamie's room was thankfully unlocked - whether on accident or done on purpose, Marie-Ange did not care. She eased it open, and padded in silently, moving as slowly as possible to avoid Doug's random-piles-of-books.
Doug had done a little bit of crying himself to sleep after staying up to find no response by Marie-Ange to his journal comment. It had been difficult to get to sleep, but eventually he had managed. His sleep was rather fitful, though, and he rolled around fairly regularly, trying to get comfortable.
Torn between nudging Doug awake and letting him sleep, Marie-Ange stood by his bed for some time, watching him. It was fairly obvious he was restless, and Marie-Ange knew she was very likely the source of the distress. Slowly, trying not to cause him to wake up startled, she sat down on the very edge of the bed and ran her fingers through Doug's hair.
The soft touch of Marie-Ange's hand woke Doug up from his light sleep, and he lurched slightly in his bed, disoriented. "Huh?" he murmured quietly and sleepily. "Angie? Wh'time'sit? Can' be time f'r class yet..." He turned slightly into her hand and shifted, trying to find a comfortable position.
"No, it goes 'gold, gold, _gold_, gold gold." The half-mumbled proclamation from Jamie's half of the room was oddly insistent, and followed by an even more mumbled "I don't want to sing for the dwarf queen."
Doug blinked, the surrealism of having been woken up extending even further. "Uh, why don't you tell the dwarf queen that, then, Jamie?" he asked tentatively. Jamie seemed to accept this as reasonable and settled back down to sleep, mumbling under his breath, probably to the dwarf queen in question.
Marie-Ange brushed her fingers over Doug's cheek, still worried that he might fully wake up and remember to be angry with her. "It is not time to get up. I just .. I cannot sleep. I did not mean to wake you."
Doug did, in fact, wake up a bit more. Seeing the worry and hesitance in Marie-Ange's body language, he opened his arms wide. "Oh, Angie..." he murmured. "C'mere," he said, drawing her down to lay within the circle of his arms. "I love you. So much," he told her firmly, kissing the hair on top of her head.
Even curled up next to Doug, Marie-Ange couldn't help but shiver and bite her bottom lip nervously. "I am sorry. I should not have made that post, and I should have talked to someone. If not you, than Nathan or Dr. MacTaggart or ... someone."
Doug simply stroked Marie-Ange's hair and made soothing noises in response. "It's okay, mon coeur," he replied. "As much as we want to be adults sometimes, we're still teenagers," he said with a soft smile. "And sometimes teenagers pitch tantrums because they aren't getting enough attention. It's all terribly normal, love. Besides, your power puts so much stress on you, because it's so vague and you want to be able to help everyone," he said slightly more seriously. "I just wish I could do more to help you with it," he whispered. "And if I haven't been paying enough attention to you lately, I am so sorry," he said as he pulled her even tighter into his arms and hugged her.
"Normal does not make it right. I yelled at everyone who was trying to help." Marie-Ange sighed quietly and clutched at Doug's arms. "Everyone says I should not feel like it is my responsibility to help, but I do not know what else I can do. I cannot ignore what I see.. " She paused. "I am sorry about throwing my cards and notebook at you.."
Doug smiled. "It's okay, love, I promise. As for feeling like it's your responsibility to help, one of the things I love about you is how much you try to help others. All that I worry about is when you push yourself too far, like you did with the fire dreams about Nathan. You have to take care of yourself first if you want to be able to help others, love."
At mention of the dreams she had before the attack at Columbia, Marie-Ange let out a long sigh, and curled up, trying to hold back a wave of guilt. "I still could have helped. I .. I just need to figure out what those dreams mean when I have them without doing readings over and over.."
Doug nodded and continued to stroke Marie-Ange's hair. "Didn't Nathan say something about working with the Askani precognitives? That might help..." He shrugged. "I don't really know what else to do. Everything I know of your dreams seems like they're so vague and you'd almost have to guess what some of them mean..."
"And meditation. We are going to do both." Hopefully one of those would help, though Marie-Ange was not entirely confidant in either at the moment. "And I think letting people see my notes. At least Nathan, if no one else."
Doug nodded. "I think that's a good step, love." Yawning and stretching slightly, he smiled at Marie-Ange. "Since you're already here and in bed, you want to stay the night?" he asked with a smile.
"If I stay, can you promise Jamie will not sing about gold again?" Marie-Ange said, half-seriously. "His voice is bad enough when he is awake.."
Doug grinned. "If he wakes us up singing about gold, we can throw socks at him. Promise." He shifted slightly to make some more room for Marie-Ange, and lifted the covers up so that she could slip underneath them. "Love you," he said softly.
"Love you too. Talk more in the morning?" Marie-Ange still felt like she needed to apologize about a thousand times more, but at least Doug was not angry. "And help me find that notebook?"
"Of course, love," Doug responded, wrapping his arm around Marie-Ange's waist and spooning up behind her. Kissing her on the cheek, he closed his eyes. "See you in the morning, mon coeur."