Log [Alison, Haroun] ~ A walk outside...

[x-dazzler.livejournal.com]

Alison & Haroun, Monday late morning. Alison wonders why she hasn't seen him about in the last few days and they take a walk outside to talk about life in general.

In all the screaming, the day-to-day trials of forcing so many different people to live together, we lose sight sometimes of the little things.

Haroun knelt in the center of his room, facing the holy cities of Mecca and Medina, and he prayed. He prayed for forgiveness, as he had five times a day, every day, since he almost took a life during his faith's holiest month. Charity. Goodwill Towards Men. What a mockery he'd made of these things, he thought in the privacy of his own mind as he prayed.

She had been standing before the door for a good ten minutes now, one hand resting on the wooden surface. Alison knew something was wrong - there was no other explanation for the fact that the sound environment had changed so much of late. Enough for her to notice and wonder at first, and then slide into outright worry. Something was wrong. The first knock was barely audible, easily overlooked, although the second wasn't.

Haroun heard the knocks, but he did not wish to interrupt his prayers to go open the door. So, by way of consideration, he raised his voice so that whoever was calling on him would know what he was doing. He'd be done in a few moments anyway. He then put the matter out of his mind as he opened himself once again to the Divine Essence of God.

She could wait. Leaning on the wall beside the door, Alison allowed herself to slide down to the floor; arms wrapping around her legs, her chin resting on her knees. It was easy to just stay there and listen to the sound of his voice rising and fading in the soothing rhythm of the prayers.

Haroun finished up his prayers, stood up, and then went to open the door - to see if his visitor had stayed or fled. When he saw Alison huddled up there, he smiled at her in as charming a manner as he could. "Alison. Won't you come in?" he said pleasantly.

She rose to her feet, smiling at him slightly in greeting, her concern hidden for the moment. "Thank you." The room was as austere as ever as she walked in, but she didn't do much more than glance at the window before turning to look at him, trying to see if there might be a sign as to what was going on.

Haroun closed the door behind him and took a seat, hoping that the mid-morning rumblings of his stomach weren't too audible to her. "What can I do for you?" he asked her with a pleasant smile. "I haven't seen you around much since we spoke last."

No. In fact, from a few quiet questions asked here in there, she gathered Haroun hadn't seen much of anyone since the day of the shooting. "You're not flying anymore," Alison said softly, stating it as a fact more than a question. "I haven't heard you go out at all, lately."

Haroun shrugged. "That's right." he admitted. "I'm not flying. And I won't be until Ramadan is over. Do you know what Ramadan is?" he asked gently. "Actions have consequences."

"I've heard a bit," Alison said, remembering his post on the topic as well, "but not in details." There was an odd quality to the atmosphere in the room, which almost required soft and hushed tones. The correlation wasn't hard to make though, and she tilted her head slightly, considering. "You're not flying because of what happened at the blood drive."

Haroun nodded. "Precisely that." he said with a nod of his head. "Ramadan is a holy month to my people. Where we fast, and we pray, and we display our devotion to the pillars of Islam. Islam is a religion of peace, despite what the howling fanatics say, and I'm finding it quite difficult to square away what I did at the blood drive, no matter how good the reason or how justified it was, with the principle of universal charity and brotherhood." he said with a sigh. "So I deny myself in this, to demonstrate my remorse and my willingness to atone before God."

"It leaves a hole in the soundscape around the mansion," she remarked quietly, although she was nodding in understanding at his explanation. The thought that he would willingly ground himself in atonement said so many things on so many levels that she didn't bother trying to chart them all for now, setting aside the details for a view of the whole instead. For the moment. "Can you walk, then?" she asked, smiling crookedly.

"I said I was repentant, I didn't say that I was dead! Of course I can walk." he said, standing up and waiting for Alison to lead the way. "I know my power is loud, but you can hear when I go on flights? Guess I should do less late-night excursions, then." he said with a smile.

She was chuckling as she opened the door, thinking a simple walk on the grounds might be nice - and it would only be fair to get his mind off things for a while, just as he'd done for her right after the shooting. "I don't mind sound," Alison shook her head, "and I'm used to the patterns by now. That's why I noticed you weren't out flying anymore in the first place." The smile was a touch rueful, and she shrugged. "I kept expecting to hear you fly by only you never did."

Haroun followed along behind Alison. As they left the Mansion to walk around the grounds, he paused for a moment to just appreciate the landscape before him. "This place - despite all the insanity, I don't think there's any place I would rather be." he said musingly.

In the quiet moments, the place drew you in that way, Alison knew, making up for everything else. "~Home, heart and hearth.~" she agreed contemplatively, realizing only a few moments later that she'd actually spoken in Askani. "Sorry," she stared ahead, trying to find an appropriate translation. "Ah. Home is where the heart is." That worked.

Haroun looked puzzled at the utterly alien tongue, but let it slide. He inhaled deeply, then let that breath out slowly. "And to some extent I agree with that sentiment." he said cheerfully. "This isn't just a place to work or a place to train. It's a home."

She hadn't let herself think of it like that up until now but it seemed the notion had already taken root on it's own as time went by, judging from her own response to the matter. It being the safest place for Miles to be weighed into things, she knew. "Yes, it is." She started down the steps, pausing at the bottom of the steps to smile at him before heading towards one of the more picturesque paths leading away from the mansion.

Haroun followed Alison, content to just walk alongside of her and enjoy the day as best he could. "Sometimes, I think we lose sight of that." he told her quietly as they walked. "In all the screaming, the day-to-day trials of forcing so many different people to live together, we lose sight sometimes of the little things. A beautiful sky, the green grass, a flower - all of these are just as important as the protest marches and the letter-writing campaigns. Don't you think so?"

"It's easy to take the little things for granted." Alison gazed up at the sky pensively, before returning her attention to the path. The fact that they were so removed from the outside world had been one of the ways she'd coped for so long . She supposed it didn't matter now - for Miles' own safety she was bound to this place. Being content with the fact was secondary. "But they make up the patterns of our lives anyway."

"Too easy." Haroun agreed. "To take the little things for granted. There's a homily in there somewhere about grains of sand wearing away the boulder, or something like that. It's been a long time. The engineer in me likens it to fractal patterns." he mused as they walked.

"To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower, hold Infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour." Her lips curved into a smile as she spoke the words. "William Blake. Not sure if that's the one you meant, but it's appropriate, wouldn't you say?"

"Something almost exactly like that." he said with a grin. "It's good that you understand." he said, somewhat cryptically, as he walked. "So - are you feeling any better about things now?" he asked curiously.

"I'm still upset about what Doug did." The smile faded and she looked down at the path, not quite frowning, hands in her coat pockets. "I would have had a responsibility in that. If he'd died." She took a deep breath however, looking up once more before letting go slowly. "It's over and done with. No use lingering, mmm?" She slid him a sidelong look at that, smiling faintly. There were more than a few Plans in place for Doug anyway.

Haroun nodded to Alison. "I am glad that you have accepted and moved on. Although, knowing you, Devil Woman will make an appearance to teach the boy the error of his ways? This is Ramadan, so I am trying very hard to grow closer to all of you as best I can. To further the
bonds of friendship among men." he said.

"Not Devil Woman," Alison replied, easily accepting the distinction for some reason. "Dazzler. Already done, actually - didn't even need to say a word," she explained serenely. "Bonds of friendship... more people could do to concentrate on that for a while." She was placing
herself in that category, without a doubt.

Haroun nodded. "I'm still angry with Douglas right now, which makes it difficult for me to fulfill my obligations during Ramadan." He admitted. "But I will think on it more, try to see it from another angle. And we all need to work on those bonds. Which is why I have a plan in motion to strengthen those bonds." he said. Even if he did invite his least-favorite person to be his partner. At this rate, he'd need to talk to Sarah and Jono as well before Ramadan ended.

"Oh, I'm still angry at him," she clarified, her smile slightly edgier. "I'm just channeling it. Into training." She paused. "His." Another pause and she chuckled quietly. "If I can get him away from
Scott in one piece long enough to do that, anyway." She shifted to the side, nudging him lightly with her hip. "Plan, mm? Can I ask, or should I just wait and find out later

He nodded again, and then stopped himself. If he nodded anymore, his head was just going to fall off, pure and simple. "It can't hurt to tell you. I've arranged a volleyball game. Two-on-two, if I can get Ororo to arrange to have the right sort of weather, we'll play outside. I think it will be fun, and a good way for us to get to know one another better. I understand Cain's already got the teams named, but he won't tell me what they are."

"Ororo generally agrees to that sort of stuff if it's for a good cause. Just explain to her about Ramadan and-" she paused, eyes widening. "Teams. Oh. Oh!" She clapped one hand over her mouth, trying to stifle the laughter. So that's what Cain had been babbling about in the medlab when she'd gone to pick up the synthsilk.

Haroun looked askance at Alison, but let the matter lie - if she wanted to tell him, she would. Simple as that. He wasn't going to pry. "Ororo's another person I have to make an extra effort to be pleasant and connected to." he said with a wry grin. "She's so very American for someone who likes to think she's very African."

She was grateful for the change of subject, not willing to rat out Cain if he wasn't telling the names he'd thought up for them. Team Rocket. Oh lord. Wonder if we should do a Pokémon viewing at one point. "I wouldn't know, honestly," she just said, a bit ruefully. "It's more of a take them as they come thing, with me."

"Probably a wise policy. I know I have a tendency to make snap judgments. Most of the time, they're not too bad, but when they go wrong, they go wrong in a big way. Like that thing with the plane. I am sorry I snapped at you like that - you had no way of knowing about my extreme distaste for practical jokes of any stripe." Haroun said. "Madelyn says that my hormone levels are up. I really do need to take a little time and see if I can find something to lower them back down."

"You already apologized for that," Alison pointed out, already having made a careful note about not pranking him at all for a while. She couldn't help but shoot him a curious look at the last comment. They were nearing a branching point in the path and she found she was loathe to turn around - Alison angled for the one that continued deeper into the school grounds instead of taking the one that returned to the mansion. "Mind if I ask what you mean with that?"

Haroun took a deep breath, then expelled it before continuing. "I am over 50% artificial. I don't have, for lack of a better term, sex organs. All the hormones normally produced by those I receive artificially. And I don't have any outlets, any normal way for those hormones to express themselves. So I read, I meditate, I train a lot, and I play Go with Nathan." he said blandly. "But if the hormone levels get too high for too long, I find myself losing my capacity for rational thought. When I get to that point, Madelyn hooks me up to the blood filter where the excess can safely be disposed of." he explained.

She'd known, in a remote way that he was a cyborg, for lack of a better word. Not entirely fond of the term herself, Alison had simply refrained from thinking of it that way - but the explanation put many things in a light she just couldn't ignore. "Oh," she murmured, staring at her feet for a moment while they walked in silence. "That... must take a frightening amount of self-control to deal with," was the first thing she could think to say. The blood filtering explanation hit while she was still looking down, caused her to pale slightly in consternation, the day in the medlab when he'd come over to ask Madelyn for one suddenly only too clear. Good grief, and she'd been taunting on purpose.

"It does." he agreed, with no arrogance or bragging in his voice. "It was the hardest thing to get accustomed to. I still struggle with it. I will understand if you have a wiggins at me now, as Jamie would say." And oh, how he had to struggle to keep his dislike of the Mansion's prankster out of his voice. He was a nice enough kid, when he wasn't being so insufferably proud of his ability to torture the people around him. "Does knowing this change anything for you?" he asked, cursing his cowardice.

Her cheeks flushed slightly at the question, but she gave him a crooked smile, shaking her head. "I wouldn't like myself much as a person if it did." This was the plain truth even though Alison knew she was seemingly dealing well with this mostly because she was completely stunned. She did mean what she had said, though. "It's not the shell that matters anyway, but the soul, right?" She couldn't even recall the last time she'd had a discussion on that particular topic.

Haroun grinned. "How very enlightened of you." he said, then laughed. "I suppose it is the soul that matters in the end, but a fair soul cloaked in fair flesh is far more appealing than the same fair soul in a twisted body. Shallow of me to say so, I know. It is a failing of mine. I like beautiful things." he said with a grin at Alison. "Both souls and bodies."

"Hey, I'd be lying if I said I couldn't appreciate the perfect combination myself as well," she admitted wryly, smiling in return. But no, she wasn't quite so steady as he thought - right now she was just faking it well, as far as she was concerned. "I wouldn't be able to handle something like that, if it happened to me," she murmured, wondering how he did it, faced this every day. It was easy to say things like that right when she wasn't in a situation such as his.

"You might be surprised, what you can and cannot get used to. You have a lot in your life to anchor you to it." he said with a smile. "I make my own anchors - the Cause, this place, a few people here and there." Most of them now dead, but he left that thought unvoiced.

"You never know what you can do until you have to do it." She'd said this before - but knew she wouldn't be able to do what he was doing now. And with such grace, at that. It was the only way she could think of it. "The people near and dear to you can make anything worthwhile." It was almost eerie how calm the day was, she reflected idly, sighing softly.

Haroun smiled at that thought. "I suppose they do." he said, and left it at that. He walked quietly, enjoying the cool crisp breeze in the air, the company he was in, all of it. And he told her about the cybernetics and she didn't immediately spaz out. Bonus! Unfortunately, he was fairly certain that he'd just torpedo'ed his chances with her, but the thought only brought a dull sadness.

They had gone a fair distance by now, Alison realized, finally paying attention to their exact surroundings. The companiable silence that had fallen between them was nice - there was no imperative need to constantly talk and it felt comfortable. She glanced at him as they paused at another fork in the path, and noting his expression, reached out to rest a hand lightly on his arm. "Hey... why so blue all of a sudden?" she asked quietly.

Haroun hrmmed, and then blushed ever-so-faintly - it was hard to tell against his dark skin. "Just woolgathering. Thinking. I get introspective around this time of the year." he offered by way of an explanation. "Mostly, just wondering what my life would be like if I didn't have the accident. The changes in myself, the way I deal with the world around me, that sort of thing. Nice, light, fluffy thoughts for a beautiful day." he grinned.

There couldn't be much that was light or fluffy about those particular thoughts, in Alison's opinion, despite the way he was presenting them. "The big things change the direction we go in, whether we want it or not," she took a deep breath, looking up at the sky briefly. "But the small things stay the same through it all." She paused and gave him a small smile. "Dance, sing, rejoice. Live your life to its utmost."

Haroun grinned at that. "There is that." he agreed. "Even if the capacity is damaged, it is not gone completely." He paused for a few moments. "I suppose that applies to both of us, in our own ways." He added lamely.

She smiled a touch wistfully at that, but nodded slowly in agreement. "In our own ways, yes." Different scales and different perspectives, certainly - but with an underlying similarity in how things had changed, yes.