Amanda Sefton (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
xp_daytripper) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
xp_logs2004-11-18 07:35 pm
xp_daytripper) wrote in xp_logs2004-11-18 07:35 pm
Amanda, Manuel - Thursday evening
It's the Amazing Sensitive Spaniard! Manuel shows he has been doing a lot of thinking lately when he finds out about Beth. It's the kick in the pants she needed.
Manuel was in the Gym, slowly doing reps with the curls barbel. Each upwards flex brought a hiss of pain to his eyes, but he was going absolutely mad with boredom, and Amanda was so busy with Medlab, and Jubilee was acting cold towards him, so he decided to try something a little different.
Unfortunately, his still-tender ribs informed him that That Would Be Enough Of That, Thank You Very Much. So he reracked his weighs, and looked at the various pieces of equipment, trying to decide what he could do that wouldn't rip him asunder.
"Probably not a good idea just yet," came Amanda's voice from the doorway. She sounded tired, her tones flat and dispirited. "Not 'less you want t' end up flat on yer back again." She'd been on her way out of the medlab when the pain on the link made her seek him out. Guilt stabbed briefly as she realised she hadn't exactly been spending a lot of time with him lately, beyond Healing sessions.
Manuel looked at Amanda, and nearly wept for the sheer amount of pain she was radiating. Not the physical kind, the emotional kind. "You feel like I must look." he said tactfully. "Want to talk about it?" he asked her.
'No she opened her mouth to say, since she didn't want to talk about Beth again, not to Manuel who would only be glad it was over. But she was too tired to pretend, and she nodded mutely. Her eyes filled again, and she brushed the moisture away irritably with her sleeve. "'M sorry," she managed at last. "You don't need this, not on top of everythin' else."
"Hey! Enough of that." he said sharply to her. "Come on." he said, grabbing her hand and escorting her out of the Gym. He walked for a few minutes before ducking into one of the unused classrooms. "OK, now talk. Something's eating a bloody great hole in your heart, and for once it's not me. So what's got you so rattled?" he demanded.
Digging her nails into her palms, Amanda fought to get control of her voice back before she answered. "Beth's leavin'," she managed at last, her voice tight. "Her Dad's taken a new job in Atlanta, an' they're leavin' this weekend. Her folks..." The control nearly broke, and her face twisted a little. "They're scared. After Halloween. Wanted t' get her clear."
Manuel hissed in sympathetic emotional pain. "That would explain it." he said quietly. "I don't really know what to say. We didn't get along, you know that, but I know better than anyone what she meant to you. I'm sorry." he said helplessly. "If it is any consolation, on my side I am back down to just you as well. Jubilation has decided to terminate our arrangement."
"It was bound t' happen eventually, the amount of drama in me fuckin' life. One near-death experience too many..." she said a little bitterly. "I'll... be all right. She called me last night an' told me, s' why I'm all..." She waved her hand helplessly to indicate the general State of Blah. Then the rest sank in, and she looked up at him with a rush of conflicted feelings. Relief, definitely. Irritation, at the way he'd put it. Fear, that Jubilee had meant to him the same thing Beth had meant to her, if he was comparing... "I'm sorry," she said at last, voice going a little flat. "I didn't mean t' get in the way of yer fun."
"Stop." he said harshly. "Just stop. This isn't about me. It's about you. You hurt. I can feel it. I wouldn't be surprised if half the Mansion could, if they had a scrap of sensitivity." he said. "You feel lost, betrayed, alone and isolated. I want to help in any way I can. Just tell me what you need, and if it is within my power, it is yours." he said passionately. "Just between yourself and me, Jubilation was a lay. That's about it. She's also helping to bring me up to speed on American culture. I've told you this before, you know it, but you do not believe."
"I'm..." Not sorry, no, not that, but it was hard not to keep saying it. "People keep leaving," she said instead. "'S always been the same, they find out 'bout the magic, they get caught in the crossfire an' then they go." She reached out for his hand, her fingers trembling. "Tell me you love me?" she asked, hating the pathetic need in her voice but needing to hear it so very much.
"Of course I love you." he said, putting her hand over his heart and letting her feel exactly how he felt. "Greedy thing, that's one thing you will never have to wonder about, one thing that is constant in our lives. How I feel about you, and how you feel about me. We are _ONE_, you and I. We feel each other, down to the very basic essence of our minds!" he said before the outburst reminded him that he was not, in truth, fully healed yet.
"Not bein' greedy. Pathetic, yeah, but not greedy." A wan smile crept through the tears. "I just... I need t' hear it sometimes, same as you. I'm just so scared of losin' you, I need t' know that you love me, even when yer've got everythin' else pullin' at you, takin' you away from me..." His pain registered through the link, and she reacted instinctively with the healing spell, even thought she was far too tired for it.
Manuel stepped back, out of the range of her healing spell. "Not this time, love." he said with a grin. "This time, I endure my pain like a big boy. You need rest. Hell, we _both_ need rest." he added with a smile. "And that's life. You have things that pull you away from me - the parasites, Angelo, Nathan, Domino ... and I had Jubilee." he added quietly. "Now you still have all those, and I have none."
"There's still the Hellfire Club, Frost..." Dropping her hand, Amanda looked at him sadly. "I wish... I wish things were different. For you. I'd share, if I could, you know that."
Manuel smiled his bitter, private smile. "I have made my bed, now I get to sleep in it. I am trying, you know that. But it's too soon. And I won't have you destroying yourself on my behalf, do you understand me?" he told her urgently, stepping back within her grasping range to grip her forearms in his hands. "It is too important. YOU are too important."
She was taken aback by the sudden urgency in his tone, the vehemence coming down the link. He believed what he was saying, and it was desperately important to him that she know that. Slowly, she nodded. "I'll try not to," she said at last. "I didn't realise... 's like I don't have anythin' else t' give people. To you. But I won't any more." A small, wry smile appeared. "You might have t' kick me in the arse sometimes t' remind me."
"That's bullshit and you know it." he said dismissively. "That's another thing. I am _tired_ of how much we put ourselves down. It needs to end, and it needs to end _now_." he said, sinking into a chair to give him relief to his torso. "And yes, this means I need to stop whining. If I whine and you hear it, you are to do something drastic to get me to knock it off. Same for me to you. Fair?" he asked her.
She nodded again, confused by his sudden decisiveness, but finding she liked the implications. "Deal," she said, her voice losing that lost sound. "Tho', love? I wouldn't think it was whinin' if you said right now yer ribs are killin' you an' could we go back t' the nice comfy bed." There was a hint of mischief in her smile as she crouched beside his chair. "'Sides, you were right, 'bout that restin' thing."
"They are killing me." he said with a grin. "And all this maturity stuff takes it right out of me. Come on, let's go to bed. Watch a movie, snuggle a bit?" he suggested with a waggle of his eyebrows as he got up and opened up the door to the classroom. "I should get almost killed more often. Leaves me a lot of time to think."
"Sounds good t' me. Yer turn t' pick the movie, tho'." She slipped under his shoulder, wrapping her arm around his waist. "'S a hug, really," she said, with an innocent look as he made to protest. "Clingy girlfriend kind of thing. Not helpin' at all."
Manuel smiled at Amanda. "You can help if you want." he said, then leaned on her as they walked together back up to his room. "And - I don't own any movies. So we'll have to borrow something from the Rec Room. I remember something about a Gladiator movie? With Russel somebody or another? We could watch that."
"Sounds good," Amanda agreed, and if the supportive arm around him was just a bit clingy, neither of them was going to say anything. And definitely no romantic movies. Not today. "An' you can even grumble at the sword fightin' bits."
"Good, because I was going to even if you were going to tell me not to. Supposingly this takes place in Blessed Rome - maybe we'll see one of my ancestors!" he said with a grin.
Manuel was in the Gym, slowly doing reps with the curls barbel. Each upwards flex brought a hiss of pain to his eyes, but he was going absolutely mad with boredom, and Amanda was so busy with Medlab, and Jubilee was acting cold towards him, so he decided to try something a little different.
Unfortunately, his still-tender ribs informed him that That Would Be Enough Of That, Thank You Very Much. So he reracked his weighs, and looked at the various pieces of equipment, trying to decide what he could do that wouldn't rip him asunder.
"Probably not a good idea just yet," came Amanda's voice from the doorway. She sounded tired, her tones flat and dispirited. "Not 'less you want t' end up flat on yer back again." She'd been on her way out of the medlab when the pain on the link made her seek him out. Guilt stabbed briefly as she realised she hadn't exactly been spending a lot of time with him lately, beyond Healing sessions.
Manuel looked at Amanda, and nearly wept for the sheer amount of pain she was radiating. Not the physical kind, the emotional kind. "You feel like I must look." he said tactfully. "Want to talk about it?" he asked her.
'No she opened her mouth to say, since she didn't want to talk about Beth again, not to Manuel who would only be glad it was over. But she was too tired to pretend, and she nodded mutely. Her eyes filled again, and she brushed the moisture away irritably with her sleeve. "'M sorry," she managed at last. "You don't need this, not on top of everythin' else."
"Hey! Enough of that." he said sharply to her. "Come on." he said, grabbing her hand and escorting her out of the Gym. He walked for a few minutes before ducking into one of the unused classrooms. "OK, now talk. Something's eating a bloody great hole in your heart, and for once it's not me. So what's got you so rattled?" he demanded.
Digging her nails into her palms, Amanda fought to get control of her voice back before she answered. "Beth's leavin'," she managed at last, her voice tight. "Her Dad's taken a new job in Atlanta, an' they're leavin' this weekend. Her folks..." The control nearly broke, and her face twisted a little. "They're scared. After Halloween. Wanted t' get her clear."
Manuel hissed in sympathetic emotional pain. "That would explain it." he said quietly. "I don't really know what to say. We didn't get along, you know that, but I know better than anyone what she meant to you. I'm sorry." he said helplessly. "If it is any consolation, on my side I am back down to just you as well. Jubilation has decided to terminate our arrangement."
"It was bound t' happen eventually, the amount of drama in me fuckin' life. One near-death experience too many..." she said a little bitterly. "I'll... be all right. She called me last night an' told me, s' why I'm all..." She waved her hand helplessly to indicate the general State of Blah. Then the rest sank in, and she looked up at him with a rush of conflicted feelings. Relief, definitely. Irritation, at the way he'd put it. Fear, that Jubilee had meant to him the same thing Beth had meant to her, if he was comparing... "I'm sorry," she said at last, voice going a little flat. "I didn't mean t' get in the way of yer fun."
"Stop." he said harshly. "Just stop. This isn't about me. It's about you. You hurt. I can feel it. I wouldn't be surprised if half the Mansion could, if they had a scrap of sensitivity." he said. "You feel lost, betrayed, alone and isolated. I want to help in any way I can. Just tell me what you need, and if it is within my power, it is yours." he said passionately. "Just between yourself and me, Jubilation was a lay. That's about it. She's also helping to bring me up to speed on American culture. I've told you this before, you know it, but you do not believe."
"I'm..." Not sorry, no, not that, but it was hard not to keep saying it. "People keep leaving," she said instead. "'S always been the same, they find out 'bout the magic, they get caught in the crossfire an' then they go." She reached out for his hand, her fingers trembling. "Tell me you love me?" she asked, hating the pathetic need in her voice but needing to hear it so very much.
"Of course I love you." he said, putting her hand over his heart and letting her feel exactly how he felt. "Greedy thing, that's one thing you will never have to wonder about, one thing that is constant in our lives. How I feel about you, and how you feel about me. We are _ONE_, you and I. We feel each other, down to the very basic essence of our minds!" he said before the outburst reminded him that he was not, in truth, fully healed yet.
"Not bein' greedy. Pathetic, yeah, but not greedy." A wan smile crept through the tears. "I just... I need t' hear it sometimes, same as you. I'm just so scared of losin' you, I need t' know that you love me, even when yer've got everythin' else pullin' at you, takin' you away from me..." His pain registered through the link, and she reacted instinctively with the healing spell, even thought she was far too tired for it.
Manuel stepped back, out of the range of her healing spell. "Not this time, love." he said with a grin. "This time, I endure my pain like a big boy. You need rest. Hell, we _both_ need rest." he added with a smile. "And that's life. You have things that pull you away from me - the parasites, Angelo, Nathan, Domino ... and I had Jubilee." he added quietly. "Now you still have all those, and I have none."
"There's still the Hellfire Club, Frost..." Dropping her hand, Amanda looked at him sadly. "I wish... I wish things were different. For you. I'd share, if I could, you know that."
Manuel smiled his bitter, private smile. "I have made my bed, now I get to sleep in it. I am trying, you know that. But it's too soon. And I won't have you destroying yourself on my behalf, do you understand me?" he told her urgently, stepping back within her grasping range to grip her forearms in his hands. "It is too important. YOU are too important."
She was taken aback by the sudden urgency in his tone, the vehemence coming down the link. He believed what he was saying, and it was desperately important to him that she know that. Slowly, she nodded. "I'll try not to," she said at last. "I didn't realise... 's like I don't have anythin' else t' give people. To you. But I won't any more." A small, wry smile appeared. "You might have t' kick me in the arse sometimes t' remind me."
"That's bullshit and you know it." he said dismissively. "That's another thing. I am _tired_ of how much we put ourselves down. It needs to end, and it needs to end _now_." he said, sinking into a chair to give him relief to his torso. "And yes, this means I need to stop whining. If I whine and you hear it, you are to do something drastic to get me to knock it off. Same for me to you. Fair?" he asked her.
She nodded again, confused by his sudden decisiveness, but finding she liked the implications. "Deal," she said, her voice losing that lost sound. "Tho', love? I wouldn't think it was whinin' if you said right now yer ribs are killin' you an' could we go back t' the nice comfy bed." There was a hint of mischief in her smile as she crouched beside his chair. "'Sides, you were right, 'bout that restin' thing."
"They are killing me." he said with a grin. "And all this maturity stuff takes it right out of me. Come on, let's go to bed. Watch a movie, snuggle a bit?" he suggested with a waggle of his eyebrows as he got up and opened up the door to the classroom. "I should get almost killed more often. Leaves me a lot of time to think."
"Sounds good t' me. Yer turn t' pick the movie, tho'." She slipped under his shoulder, wrapping her arm around his waist. "'S a hug, really," she said, with an innocent look as he made to protest. "Clingy girlfriend kind of thing. Not helpin' at all."
Manuel smiled at Amanda. "You can help if you want." he said, then leaned on her as they walked together back up to his room. "And - I don't own any movies. So we'll have to borrow something from the Rec Room. I remember something about a Gladiator movie? With Russel somebody or another? We could watch that."
"Sounds good," Amanda agreed, and if the supportive arm around him was just a bit clingy, neither of them was going to say anything. And definitely no romantic movies. Not today. "An' you can even grumble at the sword fightin' bits."
"Good, because I was going to even if you were going to tell me not to. Supposingly this takes place in Blessed Rome - maybe we'll see one of my ancestors!" he said with a grin.