Saturday morning: Jay and Terry, Alison and Terry

[x-siryn.livejournal.com]

Saturday morning, Terry goes to apologize to Jay. In the end they both swear off guys. Terry cries pretty much the whole time. Also they're both entering religious orders.



Jay had been in pretty much the same position since Friday morning. That is, he was on his bed lying on his side, wearing only his blue jeans despite the unusually cold weather that cooled his room. Dierks Bentley's "Forget About You" was playing softly on the radio, but he wasn't paying attention. His chest still hurt, although the ache had dulled significantly since Friday. He stared at his wall, his mind blank. For all intents and purposes, he was asleep with his eyes open.

Terry had knocked on the outer door a couple of times before letting herself in. She wasn't sure where Kyle was but he'd know she was there if he got back so no big deal. She tapped lightly on Jay's door, somewhat nervous. She had a very bad feeling about what happened and if Jay confirmed it... "Jay? It's Terry, can I come in?"

"I heard that ol' Jones song just the other day / 'Bout a man who took that ol' broken heart to his grave / But, I'll be damned if a memory's gonna lay me down," Dierks sang, his voice as twangy as his guitar.

Jay didn't hear the knock over his voice, but the proceeding voice jarred him out of his reverie. He didn't move and didn't making a sound, as if staying still and silent would make Terry leave. Oh God, she hated him, didn't she? She was there to rip him a new one, to finish the job her boyfriend (probably ex-boyfriend now) had started because it was his fault that they were no longer together.

But if Terry was anything, she was persistent. Or stubborn. It was hard to tell sometimes. So when she knocked again, Jay slowly got out of bed, trodded to the door, and opened it. "Hey," he said hoarsely, stepping aside so she could come in.

"Hi," she said quietly. She stepped inside so he could close the door again. "I wanted to see how you were doing. The doctors didn't really say." She swallowed hard. "Tommy said he'd met you. I didn't know what that meant until yesterday." There, as honest as she could be and if Tommy was the one who had hurt him, Jay would know that it was her fault he'd been there in the first place.

Jay crossed his arms over his chest (although it looked more like he was hugging himself), feeling suddenly exposed in front of Terry. Not that she'd never seen him without a shirt before (considering his aversion to them and his preference to walk around without one.) But this was different. And at the mention of His name (capitalized, no less), he shivered and seemed to shrink in on himself. "Yeah, we met," he said, looking anywhere but at Terry.

Terry looked away when he confirmed it. "I'm sorry," she whispered, about to cry again. She felt like she'd been crying since she left the pizza parlor. Then it had seemed like the end of the world. She hadn't known how much worse it was going to get. "I shouldn't have brought him. We…he broke up with me. So he won't be back, ever." As apologies went it was pitiful. She wouldn't blame him if he threw her out.

"Ah was the one who axed ya ta bring 'im," he reminded her. "T'ain't your fault for what he did." The "it's mine" was unspoken.

"And if I'd told him first? I was scared that he wouldn't like me and instead you got hurt. I should have told him before this started then no one would have been hurt." Terry bit her lip as tears rolled down her cheeks. Crying wouldn't help. "I could have stopped it."

Jay could feel his lip start to tremble upon hearing Terry's voice crack, but his voice remained calm and steady, albeit raspy, as he spoke. "Ya couldn'a done nuthin'. If Ah hadn't been such a fuckin' sl . . ." Jay bit his lip to stop himself. Forge had told him - more like hammered it into his head - that it wasn't his fault that he'd been attracted to Tommy and acted on it. "T'ain't your fault," he repeated, shaking his head. His hair fell into his face, providing a shield of sorts between his eyes and hers. "What Ah did and what he did . . . t'ain't cuzza you."

Terry didn't need to be a mind-reader to finish the thought. Her head snapped up to look at him. "It wasn't your fault either." She pushed the tears off her face and took a step closer, "He's a bastard and it's not your fault. I didn't know either. He fooled us both."

Jay shivered again and wrapped his arms even more tightly around himself. Which only served to agitate his healing ribs, forcing him to softly cry out in pain and sit down on his bed, rubbing his chest gingerly. "Ow, fuck." Blinking away tears (of anger, of pain, of frustration), he waited until the pain abated before talking. "You're like a sister ta me, Terry. One Ah talk to and like bein' with, even. And even if what happened ta me ain't no one's fault but his, its still mah fault that'cha two ain't tagether no more. Ah don't suppose ya broken up on the best of terms neither."

"He burned the diner." The words were out of her mouth before she realised she was going to tell him and she stopped, not sure why she had. She continued speaking more slowly, "He burned the diner and he hurt you because all he could see was the wings." She sat down in his desk chair, leaning on the back so she could face him. "He could have been Matt himself and I still wouldn't want anything to do with him. You're more important than that."

"That was him?" Jay asked, looking up at Terry through the veil of hair. "Shit. Ya really know how ta pick 'em, Jay," he said to himself, shaking his head. "This . . . Jesus fuckin' Christ in a handbasket. He didn't hurt ya none, did he? Didn't lay a hand on you?"

Terry shook her head. "I'm fine. He was…proud of it. The diner. He didn't tell me what he did to you. Which is why he's still walking around with a full five senses intact. If I'd known…" She trailed off, her face flushed with temper. "Anyway, no, he didn't hurt me. I don't think he knows I'm a mutant too or he may have." She smiled bitterly, "This makes me two for two on guys I've liked who have turned out to be utterly dicks."

"Don't feel too bad," Jay said bitterly, "This is two for two on guys for me that've ended up with me bein' half-killed and left ta die. In the scheme of things, Ah think you're doin' much better."

"In personal injury, I agree." Terry sighed, "I'm sorry, Jay. I didn't know what he was. If I'd thought about it…it was stupid of me not to tell him. Then no one else would have got hurt." Crying again, she was like a water fountain. It was giving her a headache, one that went well with her hangover.

Jay shrugged, taking are to not stretch anything that shouldn't be stretched. "S'done now. Ain't no more we can do," he said, resigned. "S'just time ta swear offa men, Ah s'pose."

"That sounds like a working plan to me." Terry replied despondently. "I could become a nun. Just spend my days saying hail marys and sewing altar cloths."

"Sounds like a good life," Jay said, his tone mirroring Terry's. "It'll be quite productive, and drama free. Yay."

"You can become a monk. And we'll be in neighboring communities. You'll make beer and ale while I sew and we'll write new religious music." There was no levity in Terry's tone, simply her tendency to make the best of bad situations, even imaginary ones. "Quiet and no one to hurt us for being who we are."

Indulging in a fantasy that didn't involve gorgeous blond men was a safe activity for Jay. "Ah can hide mah wings under mah habit, and the vow of celibacy would get ridda a whole mess of problems. There ain't no holes ta this."

"Aye." Terry agreed with a sigh. "Except that you'll have a cassock and not a habit. Unless you want to switch. I don't think they'll let us though."

"Whatever they're called. Ah ain't even Catholic ta begin with. Think Ah can fake it?"

"Most of Catholics do," she replied and fell silent. After a moment she looked up at him, "Jay? It was beautiful. Your performance. I was going to tell you."

Jay cracked half a smile at that comment, and looked up at Terry for the first time during this whole conversation. "Thanks. When all's said and done, Ah'm glad you were there."

She got up and went to sit carefully next to him on his bed. With equal care, she slipped her arms around him and gave him a very gentle hug. "You looked like you belonged on stage."

Jay would have liked to return the hug as more than a brief squeeze, but his ribs were protesting at even that small gesture. "That's the only thing Ah think would make me stay away from the abbey. The stage is ta me, what . . . I dunno. Er, the Mount was ta Jesus? S'where Ah do mah best work and how Ah wanna be remembered."

"Then that's what will happen. You're supposed to be up there. The rest of us play at it but you're the real thing. Like Alison." She blinked and ducked her head so her hair fell around her face. This crying thing was out of hand. "I should go. You need to rest."

"Ah need ta eat, actually. Then rest." As if to compliment his statement, Jay's stomach rumbled. "Got some stuff out in the common room," he said, getting to his feet and preceding Terry to the door. "Thanks for comin' by. Ah app . . . It means . . . Thanks."

"You're one of my best friends." Terry let him open the door then gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I wouldn't be anywhere else if you needed me." She ducked past him and out into the common room.

"Likewise," Jay replied, unable to help the upward quirk of his lips.


Late morning. Terry, needing to talk to someone, finds Alison and then proceeds to pretty much tell her everything she needs to tell her about Tommy and what happened to Jay.



Terry chewed the inside of her cheek, arms wrapped around her. She was sitting against the hallway wall, her face pale and her eyes red. Occasionally someone would stop and ask if anything was the matter but she just shook her head and sent them away. She didn't want to talk about it with just anyone. And it wouldn't be long before the person she did want to talk to came by, at least if today was a normal day. Terry wasn't so certain that anything today was normal though.

The doors of the elevator whooshed open and Alison walked out, a bounce to her step still present as a result of the training session. Hair still wet from the shower she'd just taken, she turning idly and then nearly had a heart attack upon realizing someone was right there by the now closing doors. "GAH!" She's somehow managed to levitate five feet to the right it seemed, leaning against the far wall herself. Someone was having a bad influence on her - still, she'd managed to not actually do what her reflexes had wanted to do. "Terry! ....Terry?"

Terry looked up. "Hi. Can I talk to you?" she asked quietly. "If you're not busy, I mean." She was pretty sure that Alison wasn't on her way anywhere. She stood carefully, leaning against the wall, her arms still wrapped around her.

Terry was one of those few students - or so it felt these days – who did come to her to talk without there being any arm-twisting. Or long sessions of trying to pull information from someone out of their nose. "Okay." Another longer look had Alison stepping up closer to Terry, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Want to head for the meeting room around the corner? Be more quiet there, less people wandering by..."

Terry nodded and stayed close to Alison as they walked to the room. Once inside she tucked herself onto a chair in a near mirror of the way she'd been sitting in the hallway. She continued to gnaw on her cheek, waiting for Alison to look like she was ready to listen. Or maybe she was just stalling.

Once the door was closed another chair was claimed and then dragged right up next to Terry, so that Alison could sit nearby. She had a feeling whatever this was about would likely end up with some crying and holding onto her on Terry's part. Hugging would probably be needed a fair bit. Reaching out she tucked a stray strand of hair back into place and then leaned over just a bit, to catch Terry's eye properly - yet didn't speak, giving her the time she wanted. Ready to listen but not prying, however.

"I talked to Jay today," Terry began softly, her accent just a trifle thicker than usual. "Have you…do you know what happened? How he got beaten? I don't know what he's told anyone."

"He asked that it be kept quiet," Alison murmured, trying not to frown in reaction. She knew Terry had been there, as well as Forge. "I think Charles was going to talk to him this morning, after giving him some time to rest up and all... for now all we know was that he was attacked and beaten up by someone outside the club, and Forge found him after. And brought him back to the mansion."

Terry nodded and fidgeted in her seat. If Jay didn't want people to know then she didn't want to tell Alison what she was thinking. It wouldn't be right to go against his wants just because she felt guilty. "I wasn't there. I...left and came back to the mansion before Forge found Jay." Now what... If she couldn't talk to Alison what was the point?

Oh, she knew that look only too well. Taking a deep breath, she tugged Terry's chair closer before shifting hers enough to be facing her, with just enough of an angle to keep it from being reminiscent of an interrogation. "Terry? If you know something more, that you think might be important... it's up to you to decide if at least a few people should know, just in case." She offered her a small, crooked grin. "Charles talked to him already, or is right at this moment. But if you think there might be something that would be best told for Jay's sake, if only so that we know what to expect or what kind of help he needs..." she trailed off, shaking her head. "It messes with your head, things like these. To know someone hates you enough not because of yourself but because of what they identify you as, by a label like that..."

Terry ducked her head, still not sure that she could betray Jay further. "I wasn't there," she said again. Telling would be giving up Tommy too. But she shouldn't be worried about Tommy. She shouldn't be thinking about how much she liked…had liked him. How much fun it had been, playing in the arcade, going to the movie, kissing him in the park… He'd hurt Jay. "I wasn't there because Tommy made me leave. We went to a pizza place and he told me that the diner was his fault and…" She stopped, near tears. "It's my fault."

"It's not your fault," was the first thing Alison said of course, reaching forward to hug the obviously distraught girl. Something about the way Terry had said things hinted at more, possibly involving Tommy at that, but then again - pushing woudn't do it. So instead she just held on, patting Terry's back gently.

"I brought him there." Terry whimpered. "And if I hadn't Jay wouldn't be hurt. That makes it my fault."

Ah, the game of what ifs. There was never any winning that one, Alison knew. "And if it hadn't been him, it might have been any number of others who would have wandered in that night looking for trouble or to make a statement." Reason had little to do with this, though. "And you're talking about Tommy, aren't you."

Terry sniffled and nodded, "This is so much worse than Mike. If I hadn't brought Tommy there, or if I'd told him before what I am, Jay wouldn’t be hurt. I could have stopped it."

"Mike?" Alison blinked at that, though the puzzlement soon faded into something a touch resigned. "It's okay. Not now. There are any numbers of ways Jay could have been hurt, some of them as stupid as tripping his way down the steps, Terry. You couldn't have known what would happen." Reaching out, she brushed the back of her fingers against Terry's cheek, lightly. "Did Tommy do this to Jay, or someone else that Tommy told about things?" Best not to jump to conclusions.

"The record shop clerk." Terry said, "I don't know if Tommy did it. But…everyone else there was HeliX. And Tommy said he talked to Jay. Jay didn't know the guy's name. But the descriptions match."

"Okay." Alison nodded quietly, filing the information away. On both boys. They had a name and from there anything else wouldn't be too problematic to solve - if need be. But it could wait for a little while and taking care of Terry came first just then. "Thank you for talking to me about this," Alison whispered, giving Terry a sympathetic look. "Can't have been easy for you either, everything's that happened."

"I have crap taste is all." Terry muttered. "Perfectly dreadful. I'm fine." Telling Alison meant that they would take care of it. She didn't know if they would hurt Tommy and feel horribly guilty for caring. "I'm never dating again."

Oh, she'd said that more than once herself, though Alison ruthlessly repressed an amused smile and instead made a sympathetic sound, patting Terry's shoulder. "Hey..." She didn't contradict her, just shaking her head slightly in commiseration. "Want me to keep you updated on things, if there's anything new?"

Terry nodded, still miserable. "I don't understand why he did this, Alison. I've spent so much time with him and he never…I didn't even suspect. How can people hide something like that?"

"People hide all sorts of things all the time, sweetie." The irony of saying such a thing didn't escape Alison in the least. But that was... for another moment. And someone else. "There are a lot of sides to people. Sometimes you don't even see all of them if you've known them for years. And sometimes it works out and sometimes... not. I'm sorry you had to find out like that."

"Don't feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for Jay. He's the one who is suffering for it." Terry sniffled and leaned into Alison's arms.

"If you think for a second I don't know you are too, you'd better think again," Alison murmured, holding the young redhead in a comforting hug. "And I'm sorry for Jay too." Which wasn't 'feeling sorry' exactly, but that didn't need to be argued about. Not one bit. "Are you afraid he's upset with you too?" she finally asked.

"He didn't know who Tommy was." Terry was certain of that. Jay wouldn't have gone anywhere with Tommy if he had. "Besides, he's going to blame himself. He's stupid like that."

Biting her lip, Alison did not point out that Terry was blaming herself for another's choices at this moment as well. "Well then. Sounds to me like he's going to need people around to remind him that it wasn't his fault, mmm?"

"I wouldn't abandon him!" Terry looked horrified by even the implication though Alison had meant nothing of the sort. "He's my friend. I'll be there for him as long as he wants me around."

"I never said anything about abandoning anyone," was all Alison said quietly, before falling silent for a moment. Finally, she spoke again. "I'm thinking Kyle and Forge are
probably reminding Jay of that too." The worry that Paige would not, by any stretch of the imagination, be taking this well either was present, as well, though that one Alison left unvoiced.

Terry nodded. "I'm sorry I fell apart on you, Alison," she said softly, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "I didn't have anyone else to talk to."

Alison thought back to the screaming crying fits of her teenage years and shook her head. "Hey. S'okay. I'm just glad you decided to talk to me, instead of keeping it all in." She pulled a kleenex out of her pocket, giving Terry a slightly sheepish look. "Usually have one with me. Habit now. Little boys and dirt seem to have a magnetic relationship," she added, in this hopes of perhaps drawing at least a small smile from Terry.

It did, a tiny almost shy smile that didn't quite reach her teary blue eyes. Terry took the tissue gently and sniffled into it instead. "I didn't want to tell Clarice. She's already mad at me."

Alison blinked at that, though she nodded anyway. "Because of what happened? Or something else?"

"She was mad that I didn't tell Tommy. She thought I was hiding it because I wanted to pass for normal." Terry shook her head. "She'd just think she was right if she knew. I only told her we broke up. She doesn't need to know the rest. Jay can tell her if he wants her to know."

Aah. I see." And Clarice didn't have the option to tell or not, which explained why it might be a sore point for the girl. And one that led to assumptions being made. "Dating someone isn't about whether you're a mutant or not. Or your religion or your skin color or your nationality, mmm?"

"I don't know." Terry sighed, "Maybe it is. Not race or religion or anything but... Maybe being a mutant is different. We aren't normal."

"Not so long ago they said black people weren't," Alison reminded her softly. "I am human. I think of myself as human, just like anyone else out there. And if I happen to be able to make light well - it's something most can't do, sure. But it's not all I am." And it was why she had come out during that show, over two years ago now. To make that point. "Doesn't mean others have to see it that way, but it works for me."

"I…yeah. I guess." She shrugged. "I just don't know what to do about it. How do you tell someone, I'm not what you think? It's a big deal, Alison. People really care. Clarice was mad that I hadn't. I look like anyone else. No one would ever have to know what I am if I didn't tell them. So what do I do?"

"You just stay yourself. You take your time and figure out what works for you. Not everyone tells everything about themselves on the first few dates, or during the start of a friendship. And you don't owe it to anyone to tattoo on your forehead that you're a mutant unless it's a choice you want to make and a path you want to walk on." Alison tugged at a curled lock of hair lightly. "For all that I came out, I never thought of myself as an activist, you know? I don't advertise it even now to people who don't recognize me, say. If it just happens that I need to use my mutant ability though... I just do. You'll find your comfort zone there one day."

Terry just nodded. "Like Lorna says about being a teenager. This too shall pass." She gave Alison a hug. "Thanks, Alison."

Laughing a bit at that, Alison hugged her back. "I'm glad I could help." And that Terry had allowed her to, she was utterly grateful for. "You know what the secret it to once you're after the whole teenage thing?" Winking, she put on her most innocent expression. "Then you get to be five all over again."