Log [Miles, Jay] Little Boy, Big Questions...

[x-dazzler.livejournal.com]

Mid-afternoon. Turning points happen in small ways sometimes, with the realization that the people in your life you thought had all the answers... sometimes don't. Miles talks about family with Jay, trying to sort out some of the confusion he's felt of late on the matter.

Thinking heavy thoughts eventually got to be quite a chore for a little boy, even one such as Miles, for whom heavy thoughts had long been a way of life. And so, bottle of lemonade and apple in hand, he'd decided to head outside to see if there might not be an answer in the simpler things that children did. Go out, run in the grass until you couldn't move anymore and then flop on your back to stare up at the sky near a lake that was quiet and blue. And maybe, if you were lucky, a frog would hop by to keep you company.

Or a birdman.

It was still difficult to fly for extended periods of time, but Jay was trying to get back into shape. So he'd been spending the better part of the day taking short flights, stretching his wings long enough to give them a workout without harming them any further.

"Hey there, munchkin," Jay greeted Miles as he landed, exhausted and gross and sweaty from his last flight. He slowly peeled off his shirt so he could wipe off his face and plopped down beside the boy. "What's goin' on?"

"Jay needs to go jump in the lake." Making a hand waving motion, Miles grinned, unrepentantly so. "Miles was trying to think. But then thinking got really complicated so Miles decided to go outside and run around a lot until they weren't anymore." The boy paused then wrinkled his nose. "Miles needs to go jump in the lake too."

"Jay needs a shower," he corrected the boy. Lakes weren't so cool. Bad memories. "What're you thinkin' about that's got your brains beatin' against your skull? Summer homework problems?"

"Noooo." Miles pouted though a bit at that, since summer homework was most certainly on his schedule. Catching up, still and always. "Haroun told Miles about his family a lot last week. Miles did not realize..." he trailed off, not sure for a moment. But this was Jay, who was Sam's brother, and Paige's brother and he had a lot of other brothers and sisters. He'd know all about families, right?

Jay cocked his head to one side in a curious, almost birdlike manner. "Miles didn't realize what?"

Staring up with his eyes squinting because of the sunlight, Miles sighed. "Miles hadn't realized that... families could be so different. But that is stupid because Miles didn't know anything about families before Mama found him after Miles ran away from the freak show and-" stopping once more, too much swarming up all at once for him to even begin to start articulating. "Miles is confused."

Oh, family. Not one of Jay's favorite subjects, even though his relationships with his siblings had markedly improved over the past couple of months. "Families are as different as people are, y'know. Look at mah brood and Forge's family. He's got a mom and a pop, and that's it. Ah've got a mom and a whole mess of sibs."

"But Haroun said Mama had parents! And Mama never spoke about them herself and Miles hadn't thought of it until now..." With a small, bemused sigh Miles flopped a bit on the ground. "Miles thought-" he stopped again, then closed his eyes shut in frustration. "Miles just wonders if there are other things he should know…"

"Ah dunno much about Mama's family mahself, sprout," Jay said apologetically. "Actually, Ah don't know nuthin'. But iffn she's never talked about them, then maybe it's because they don't get on? Not everyone's lucky like you ta be so close to their folks. For the longest time, Ah was barely sayin' a word to mah Mama. Even now, we don't talk as much as we did when Ah was a young'un."

Miles granted Jay an entirely horrified look at that. "Jay does not talk to his own Mama?" He blinked, pushing himself up to a sitting position, staring down at the older boy. "Why?" It was the same question he'd had, really, in light of finding out Alison did not talk to hers.

Jay looked down at the ground, embarrassed, feeling a knot grow tight in his chest. In retrospect, he knew he'd mistreated his mother, and Lord knew how much it'd hurt her. "There was . . . some stuff goin' on with me Ah didn't want her to know about," he tried to explain, "Secrets Ah didn't tell no one. Ah didn't think she'd much approve. And we grew apart."

It was confusing and perplexing and terrifying, as notions went. Still staring a bit, Miles took a small breath, as though afraid to invoke something bad if he broke the sudden silence too quickly or without thought. Instead he looked at Jay soberly, not sure how to say what he somehow desperately needed to say. "Will Jay never try to fix that, then?" His voice was hushed over the question.

"We've been tryin'." It was embarrassing admitting this, especially to a little boy. Jay couldn't even look at Miles. "S'hard sometimes, y'know. Old habits die hard." He knew that the reason he was so reluctant to face his mother was because of his fear that she'd reject him because of his sexuality. But he couldn't explain that to a kid. Even one as sweet as Miles. Especially one as sweet as Miles.

It had taken Miles a long time to break some habits since arriving at the mansion, and some he still hadn't quite gotten rid of yet - just as there were some he wasn't about to try to break, at that. "Miles knows all about habits and stuff." Settling to look at Jay, with his elbows resting on his knees, Miles sighed. "Miles wishes that things were simpler, sometimes."

"You and me both, munchkin. And Ah'm sure everyone else in this whole dang place." A sigh escaped, and Jay looked at Miles quizically before forcing a smile. "You're too young ta be broodin', Miles. C'mon. Y'all ever been flyin' before?"

Miles eyes popped open at that, the near despondent slump of the shoulders disappearing in a heartbeat as the boy scrambled to his feet. "Not enough!" He'd been flying before, through the help of various people - and it would still never, ever be enough nor loose any of its appeal. Nor would it ever, from the glow in his eyes and the sudden surge of newfound energy. "Will Jay takes Miles up flying? Miles will be careful to keep his power really really close in!"

Jays smile grew into a real one. Miles reminded him of his little brothers, neither of whom he'd seen since Christmas break. Same with his little sisters, for that matter. Getting to his feet, Jay offered a hand to Miles, stuffing his shirt into the back pocket of his shorts with his other, and spreading his wings.

"Forge says that your powers don't work on mine. Somethin' about you makin' me lose mah wings. Ah dunno. Shouldn't be no problem."

"Miles does not affect physical mutations!" The declaration was said rather cheerfully. "But if Jay has another part of things helping him fly, then Miles and Jay would be in trouble. But Miles will be careful anyway and we will not have to find out the hard way and can we go now?" The last sentence was said in one breath, eagerness shining through.

"Hold on tight now," Jay said, lifting Miles up into his arms and bringing him close. "An' sorry 'bout the sweat." Without another word, Jay lifted himself off the ground, beating his wings to gain enough altitude that he could ride the winds but keeping low enough so Miles could breathe.

And from the shrieks of glee, there was no doubt the flight was garnering much appreciation.