FDNH: Gail and Laurie log

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After being put through her paces by Doug and cooling off a little, Laurie decides to head home to wait out some of the consequences of the fight she's had with Kyle. Unfortunately, Gail doesn't agree




Laurie turned her key in the lock and pushed the door to her childhood home open with the air of one who'd just spent an inordinate amount of time working their way through a whole heap of anger. Doug hadn't let her go till she'd proven she had a hold on her temper and wasn't about to go continue the shouting match she'd engaged in with Kyle.

Now? All she could think of was that she wanted to be as far away from the mansion, and the possible fall out of her actions as possible. And so, she came home to her mother, who had always been there for her before, no matter how stupidly she may have behaved at any given point in time.

"Mom?" she called out, wondering if she was home. "I'm home. Thought maybe I'd stay for awhile?"

"Honey?" Gail emerged from the kitchen, brushing her hands on a dishtowel and blinking at the sudden appearance of her daughter. "I didn't know you were coming." She looked again at Laurie's face. "Sweetheart? Are you all right?"

"I'm..." Laurie began, but then just shrugged somewhat helplessly. She dropped her overnight bag down and gave her mother a hug before she stepped back. "I just thought I'd come home for a few days, spend some time, that's all."

"You're always welcome, you know that. Did something happen with school? Or the..." She hesitated, not sure if she should ask, but concerned. "The team?"

"I got into a huge fight with Kyle on the journals." Laurie admitted, somewhat reluctantly. She had always tried to be a person her mother could be proud of, and she had a feeling that her recent actions wouldn't have been much of a proud moment. "I think maybe I said some things that won't just make him angry at me."

"Oh, honey..." Gail shook her head a little, aware that there'd been other blow ups on the journal system. "I'm sure it can't have been that bad."

"I accused him of...I called him..." Laurie began, but couldn't quite get the words out. Now that her anger had dissipated, she was beginning to realise just how harsh she'd been. "Doug had to drag me away from the computer and make me go through forms till I stopped projecting, I was so angry. It was bad, Mom. Really, really bad. I don't even know if Scott's going to want me to still be on the team after this."

Gail took Laurie by the shoulders and guided her over to the couch. "What happened to make you so angry?" she asked, once they were seated.

"He was saying all these things, about how I'd let the bad guy get away because I'd assumed he was going to kill him." Laurie explained, allowing herself to be seated. "It wasn't like I was just...he was covered in blood, Mom and...I wasn't wrong."

"Didn't you tell me that was the first thing the team taught you? That X-Men don't kill?" It had been stressed as part of the permission process too, since Gail would not have allowed her daughter to be taught to take a life. Not with her father's influence still around.

"I guess so." Laurie said reluctantly, pushing back the cuticles on the nails of one hand in an attempt not to have to look her mother in the eyes. "But he looked like he was out of control, and I didn't...I just thought I was doing the right thing."

"Do you trust Kyle?" Gail asked gently, but firmly, not letting the sudden stab of fear show. Zach had been so adamant what he did was the right thing, that it wouldn't hurt anyone...

Laurie didn't want to answer that, not really. It had been something she'd been thinking about since she'd left Doug at the mansion to head home. Did she trust her teammates? The truthful answer was also the hard one, and one she didn't think any of them would be happy with. "No Mom, I don't think I trust any of them, not really."

"Why not?" It was said in the same tone before, without any condemnation. "You've spent all this time living with them, training with them, working with them... why don't you trust them?"

"Because they don't trust me." Laurie said simply, glancing up now. "Because I don't know what they want from me, but whatever it is, I always seem to fail at it."

"Honey..." Gail bit her lip. "Do you trust me?"

"What? Of course I do, Mom." Laurie said, confused. "Why wouldn't I trust you?"

"Then I want you to listen to me. This whole thing... it's not them not trusting you. It's you not trusting yourself. You're pushing too hard and not letting anyone help you." Gail took Laurie's hand. "Sweetheart, is being an X-Man what you really want?"

"Yes." Laurie snapped, irritated now. Why did she keep asking her that? Hadn't Laurie already told her more then once that it was what she wanted. ""And how am I not letting them help me? Why is it always my fault?"

"You're sounding like your father." Gail said it calmly. "He would never listen to anyone, convinced he was right. And when he was wrong, he'd never admit it. Or face it." She squeezed Laurie's hand. "I love you, and you're always welcome to visit, but you can't stay here, Laurie. If you truly want to do this, be an X-Man, you need to go back and face what you've done. Talk to them about it . And listen to what they say in return, not just what you think they're saying."

Laurie was shocked into speechlessness for a moment, and she just looked at her mother. Finally, she got up from the couch and went to retreive her bag, hoping that her mother would relent. But she didn't, and as Laurie settled her bag on her shoulders, she realised that she wouldn't.

"I'll try, Mom." she finally answered, before slipping out the door.