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xp_logs2009-06-28 05:40 pm
x-diamondlil.livejournal.com) wrote in xp_logs2009-06-28 05:40 pm
Lil and Jean-Paul, Lil and Nathan
Lil takes her turn sitting vigil by Jean-Paul's bedside.
The quarantine/isolation area was quiet and sequestered from the rest, but that was the entire point. The man in the clear-fronted white cell had eaten earlier -- an interest in food was an improvement from when he'd first been brought in -- and spent most of his time either sleeping or staring off into nothing. The lights had been dimmed to allow the occupant easier rest, but, really, it seemed as if he didn't notice all that much going on around him.
Lil swallowed hard as she surveyed the scene and clutched the book she was holding under her arm tighter to her chest. Even the pills could only do so much to keep Nathan Dayspring on his feet so when the call came from Amelia about a replacement to relieve Nate per Lil's request, the Amazon had taken it. After checking in on Johnny, she'd headed for the speedster's suite and with the key left behind to tend the rats, let herself in only to exit a few short minutes later with her prize.
She'd been quick about it but standing there now, Lil found herself wishing she'd given herself a few minutes more to collect herself.
With careful steps, the giantess made her way to an empty chair; green eyes wide and brimming with tears she refused to let fall. He was alive - there was no reason to mourn her countryman. Still, she couldn't ignore the sorrow and pain she felt for her friend's situation.
"Oh, Jean-Paul... what did those bastards do to you?" Lil sighed, blinking back the moisture.
Jean-Paul was in wrinkled sweats with one arm cut away to accommodate for the bandages on his left arm; they'd obviously been slept in, perhaps for more than one night. His hair was tangled and needed washing and he was unshaven. He would have been embarrassed to be caught looking so unkempt. He should have been. But he barely gave the tall woman a glance as he paced the room for a moment, then returned to his bed. For all the recognition he showed, his eyes might as well have been the glass gaze of a taxidermy project.
"God, Speedy," she whispered again, running the back of her palm over her eyes. No wonder the kid was the mess that he was; seeing those you love in such a state was an image that stayed without, often times into your dreams. At least, the nights spent by her dying mother's side had that habit, popping up during the defenseless night... or at times like these. "Jean-Paul? Can you hear me?" Lil asked as she pressed her fingertips to the glass separating them, wishing she could do something as small as reach out and take his hand. "It's Lillian. The pain-in-your-ass who always has alcohol on hand."
Jean-Paul scratched the back of his neck, then stretched out on the bed, looking Lil's way, but taking no notice of her at all. His detachment from the world around seemed total.
Lil bit on her bottom lip as her hand slowly slid away from the glass. Proof. Justification of her fears and concerns; what a telepath could do. If only the validation hadn't required this. Sniffling once, the giantess settled back into her chair and gave a little shake of her head. He wasn't beaten; they would help him out of this. It would just take time... and a little help.
She found her voice when she opened the front cover of the book she'd smuggled in. Old but still in good condition. "They always talk about trying to jog the memories of people who've forgotten with familiar things," Lil said softly, hoping something in her voice would spark recognition. "I'm gonna read to you, okay, Speedy?"
The sound of her voice seemed to make little enough impact. Whatever was going on behind those blank eyes, if anything, had no use for her.
"Well, at least it's not a complaint," she muttered, turning past the dedication - it had always bored her anyway - before lifting it up to the glass for Jean-Paul to see in a pose stolen, no doubt, from some crusty old librarian somewhere. "Le Petit Prince," Lil began. Her voice was soft, her words slightly unsure at first; it had been so long since she'd read aloud, let alone in French.
"Lorsque j'avais six ans j'ai vu, une fois, une magnifique image, dans un livre sur la Forêt Vierge qui s'appelait 'Histoires Vécues'. Ça représentait un serpent boa qui avalait un fauve. Voilà la copie du dessin." Her finger tapped againt the illustration of the boa constrictor and Lil's eyes flicked from the page, back to the speedster's face, hoping for even the tiniest of reactions.
Jean-Paul rolled onto his back, eyes slipping shut without ever seeming to register Lil's presence.
Her breath shuddered slightly with disappointment but still the blonde continued on with her reading. It was the least she could do for her friend. "On disait dans le livre: 'Les serpents boas avalent leur proie tout entière, sans la mâcher. Ensuite ils ne peuvent plus bouger et ils dorment pendant les six mois de leur digestion...'"
Nate returns and he and Lil share a brief conversation.
With nothing more than the sounds of the machines and the occasional stirring from the non-responsive speedster, Lil found it hard not to let her mind wander. From her friend's current situation, back to the boy who slept in her suite, to her lessons with the Professor and back but nothing offered any comfort or help. Her fingers idly traced the pictures of the book still on her lap, unfinished but the giantess didn't have the voice, or strength, to continue once it seemed Jean-Paul had drifted further off into whatever oblivion he was trapped in. Not a patient woman, she itched to do something. Anything but just sit there and wait.
"You gotta snap outta this, Speedy," she sighed, rubbing her tired eyes with the heel of her palm.
Nathan appeared soundlessly at the end of the hall. His eyes flickered from the man in the room to the book in her hands, and then, abruptly, he slid down the wall beside her chair, into a sitting position.
Lil's head snapped to where Nate sat, startled before a hardness came to her eyes, icing over the wetness she still refused to let fall. Quickly, the book was closed and shoved behind her back while her gaze moved to where John-Paul still rested. "You're back," she said lamely to the man on the floor.
"Clearly." Nathan didn't look all that much more rested than he had when he'd left. The dark circles under his eyes were almost black, and he clearly hadn't bothered to shave. "By the way," he went, "he's not going to 'snap out of it'. However much we wish he would."
"I'm not stupid," she hissed, eyes focused on the man behind the glass. "I know he's not gonna. Doesn't mean I can't make fucking comments out loud when I think there's no one around to hear." Lil didn't put much stock in miracles, not any she would pray for. As far she was concerned God was busy listening to the prayers of the dying and devout.
Lil's angry thoughts lashed against his shields, like fire bleeding through the still-healing gaps, and Nathan closed his eyes, trying to keep the pain off his features. He was only partly successful, but he couldn't bring himself to care much.
Running the back of her palm under her nose, the Canadian finally let her gaze wander over the other man who'd been missing for days. It wasn't fair for her to take her anger out on him... but it wasn't fair that Jean-Paul's brain was pudding, either. "You look like shit," Lil said at length. "Go back to bed. I can cover for a few more hours."
"I can't sleep," Nathan said, under his breath. "I was wandering the Ukraine for most of a week, thinking that it was twenty years ago and the people who'd turned me into a brainwashed attack dog had taken my best friend." He gave a brief, soundless laugh. "Then I got to wake up and remember that actually, he'd already been murdered three years ago by someone trying to get to me, and it was Jean-Paul in the hands of the people who put me in front of a firing squad. I'm not sure what was worse, the psychic shock or reality."
"I wouldn't know," Lil replied, looking back to her fingers as she tried to stamp down the helplessness that had been plaguing her since finding out the pair were missing. A woman of action, she was in no way content to sit on her ass and wait for things to happen. For things to get better. She wanted to hit something, to destroy and tear something tangible to shreds since there was nothing she could do to rebuild what was already broken. "You still look like shit."
"Yeah, well. Thankfully I don't need to worry about looking refreshed for you."
She snorted her disdain as she stood, tucking the book back under her arm to hide it from the telepath. The last thing she needed was him ragging on her for carrying around a child's book. "Whatever, Dayspring. I gotta get back and see if Johnny's awake yet. Enjoy the floor."
Nathan's expression changed suddenly, worry and a strange vulnerability surfacing from the bone-deep weariness. "Lil, wait..." he said, and it sounded almost like a plea, helped along by the hand he outstretched, as if involuntarily. "How... how is he doing?"
"Better than you look, though not by much," the blonde woman replied, ignoring his extended hand. "He's crashing in my suite for now until he can get his head sorted out." No thanks to anyone who let him in to see Jean-Paul in the state he was in. "He's a fucking kid who doesn't know what to do with himself and it doesn't help when all the other adults around don't know what to do, either."
Nathan's hand fell. "He snuck in here," he said tiredly. "I found him on the way out, after he'd already seen Jean-Paul... it had to be a hell of a shock." His eyes flickered towards the man in the room, as if to reassure himself that he wasn't listening.
Lil bit her tongue to stem the flow of curses that threatened to fall. Instead, with clenched jaw, she lifted her chin with frigid mask back in place. "He just spent a week away with the man who he's all but branded his new father. Of fucking course it was a hell of a shock for the kid." And her. It was heartbreaking to see the normally active speedster tethered to a hospital bed. But someone had to be strong.
"I told him why it happened." He wasn't looking at her, now. "Not all the details. Just that it was me, they were after. He needed someone to be angry at. He couldn't cope with 'senseless', not after what's already happened to him, poor kid..."
"Poor kid's sleeping so he's already better off than you," the blonde pointed out. Her voice was a bit steadier, calmer than it had been but her own anger was still ice cold beneath the surface of the words. "Doesn't fucking matter, anyway. All that does is getting him," Lil jerked her head back in Jean-Paul's direction, "back in working order as soon as possible."
Nathan echoed her gesture with a flinch, as if she'd hit him. "Right," he said, a bit disjointedly. "Well, we've been working on it..."
"Yeah, I know," Lil sighed, crossing her arms over her chest, the book crushed between as she let her attention go back to Jean-Paul. What they were doing, the telepaths, the machines, it wasn't enough... but she was helpless to provide any more support. "You said you ain't sleeping; you sure you good to keep watch again so soon?"
Nathan shrugged, leaning back against the wall, the cool metal almost soothing. "I'm here," he said. "Promised him I would be."
"Doesn't mean you should be if you're so sleep deprived you can't even stay on your feet," she pointed out. "Johnny's sleeping; I can take a few more hours if you need it."
"I'm on the floor by choice, Lil. Don't worry about me." He really didn't feel well at all, but once she was gone he'd pop another couple of pills. It would be enough to keep him going for a while longer, and then the inevitable crash would involve sleep whether he liked it or not. "But don't leave on account of me, either. You want to stay... well, I won't bother you with conversation."
The blonde woman shook her head and clutched the book closer. "No, thank you." Being there with Jean-Paul was one thing, having to share the space with Nathan was quite another. It had too much potential to lead down bridges that couldn't be recrossed. "If I'm not needed, I'm going back to the gym."
Nathan just nodded, his eyes going back to the still Jean-Paul. "If you want to come back at some point," he said quietly, "Amelia and Jean have already made it clear that I can't be here 24/7."
"They've got my number if you need relief," Lil told him, brushing a lock of gold from her eyes.
"Right."
Shaking her head, Lil didn't bother to look back over her shoulder at the man still slumped on the ground. She had enough to worry about in Jean-Paul and Johnny and couldn't add Dayspring to the list.
The quarantine/isolation area was quiet and sequestered from the rest, but that was the entire point. The man in the clear-fronted white cell had eaten earlier -- an interest in food was an improvement from when he'd first been brought in -- and spent most of his time either sleeping or staring off into nothing. The lights had been dimmed to allow the occupant easier rest, but, really, it seemed as if he didn't notice all that much going on around him.
Lil swallowed hard as she surveyed the scene and clutched the book she was holding under her arm tighter to her chest. Even the pills could only do so much to keep Nathan Dayspring on his feet so when the call came from Amelia about a replacement to relieve Nate per Lil's request, the Amazon had taken it. After checking in on Johnny, she'd headed for the speedster's suite and with the key left behind to tend the rats, let herself in only to exit a few short minutes later with her prize.
She'd been quick about it but standing there now, Lil found herself wishing she'd given herself a few minutes more to collect herself.
With careful steps, the giantess made her way to an empty chair; green eyes wide and brimming with tears she refused to let fall. He was alive - there was no reason to mourn her countryman. Still, she couldn't ignore the sorrow and pain she felt for her friend's situation.
"Oh, Jean-Paul... what did those bastards do to you?" Lil sighed, blinking back the moisture.
Jean-Paul was in wrinkled sweats with one arm cut away to accommodate for the bandages on his left arm; they'd obviously been slept in, perhaps for more than one night. His hair was tangled and needed washing and he was unshaven. He would have been embarrassed to be caught looking so unkempt. He should have been. But he barely gave the tall woman a glance as he paced the room for a moment, then returned to his bed. For all the recognition he showed, his eyes might as well have been the glass gaze of a taxidermy project.
"God, Speedy," she whispered again, running the back of her palm over her eyes. No wonder the kid was the mess that he was; seeing those you love in such a state was an image that stayed without, often times into your dreams. At least, the nights spent by her dying mother's side had that habit, popping up during the defenseless night... or at times like these. "Jean-Paul? Can you hear me?" Lil asked as she pressed her fingertips to the glass separating them, wishing she could do something as small as reach out and take his hand. "It's Lillian. The pain-in-your-ass who always has alcohol on hand."
Jean-Paul scratched the back of his neck, then stretched out on the bed, looking Lil's way, but taking no notice of her at all. His detachment from the world around seemed total.
Lil bit on her bottom lip as her hand slowly slid away from the glass. Proof. Justification of her fears and concerns; what a telepath could do. If only the validation hadn't required this. Sniffling once, the giantess settled back into her chair and gave a little shake of her head. He wasn't beaten; they would help him out of this. It would just take time... and a little help.
She found her voice when she opened the front cover of the book she'd smuggled in. Old but still in good condition. "They always talk about trying to jog the memories of people who've forgotten with familiar things," Lil said softly, hoping something in her voice would spark recognition. "I'm gonna read to you, okay, Speedy?"
The sound of her voice seemed to make little enough impact. Whatever was going on behind those blank eyes, if anything, had no use for her.
"Well, at least it's not a complaint," she muttered, turning past the dedication - it had always bored her anyway - before lifting it up to the glass for Jean-Paul to see in a pose stolen, no doubt, from some crusty old librarian somewhere. "Le Petit Prince," Lil began. Her voice was soft, her words slightly unsure at first; it had been so long since she'd read aloud, let alone in French.
"Lorsque j'avais six ans j'ai vu, une fois, une magnifique image, dans un livre sur la Forêt Vierge qui s'appelait 'Histoires Vécues'. Ça représentait un serpent boa qui avalait un fauve. Voilà la copie du dessin." Her finger tapped againt the illustration of the boa constrictor and Lil's eyes flicked from the page, back to the speedster's face, hoping for even the tiniest of reactions.
Jean-Paul rolled onto his back, eyes slipping shut without ever seeming to register Lil's presence.
Her breath shuddered slightly with disappointment but still the blonde continued on with her reading. It was the least she could do for her friend. "On disait dans le livre: 'Les serpents boas avalent leur proie tout entière, sans la mâcher. Ensuite ils ne peuvent plus bouger et ils dorment pendant les six mois de leur digestion...'"
Nate returns and he and Lil share a brief conversation.
With nothing more than the sounds of the machines and the occasional stirring from the non-responsive speedster, Lil found it hard not to let her mind wander. From her friend's current situation, back to the boy who slept in her suite, to her lessons with the Professor and back but nothing offered any comfort or help. Her fingers idly traced the pictures of the book still on her lap, unfinished but the giantess didn't have the voice, or strength, to continue once it seemed Jean-Paul had drifted further off into whatever oblivion he was trapped in. Not a patient woman, she itched to do something. Anything but just sit there and wait.
"You gotta snap outta this, Speedy," she sighed, rubbing her tired eyes with the heel of her palm.
Nathan appeared soundlessly at the end of the hall. His eyes flickered from the man in the room to the book in her hands, and then, abruptly, he slid down the wall beside her chair, into a sitting position.
Lil's head snapped to where Nate sat, startled before a hardness came to her eyes, icing over the wetness she still refused to let fall. Quickly, the book was closed and shoved behind her back while her gaze moved to where John-Paul still rested. "You're back," she said lamely to the man on the floor.
"Clearly." Nathan didn't look all that much more rested than he had when he'd left. The dark circles under his eyes were almost black, and he clearly hadn't bothered to shave. "By the way," he went, "he's not going to 'snap out of it'. However much we wish he would."
"I'm not stupid," she hissed, eyes focused on the man behind the glass. "I know he's not gonna. Doesn't mean I can't make fucking comments out loud when I think there's no one around to hear." Lil didn't put much stock in miracles, not any she would pray for. As far she was concerned God was busy listening to the prayers of the dying and devout.
Lil's angry thoughts lashed against his shields, like fire bleeding through the still-healing gaps, and Nathan closed his eyes, trying to keep the pain off his features. He was only partly successful, but he couldn't bring himself to care much.
Running the back of her palm under her nose, the Canadian finally let her gaze wander over the other man who'd been missing for days. It wasn't fair for her to take her anger out on him... but it wasn't fair that Jean-Paul's brain was pudding, either. "You look like shit," Lil said at length. "Go back to bed. I can cover for a few more hours."
"I can't sleep," Nathan said, under his breath. "I was wandering the Ukraine for most of a week, thinking that it was twenty years ago and the people who'd turned me into a brainwashed attack dog had taken my best friend." He gave a brief, soundless laugh. "Then I got to wake up and remember that actually, he'd already been murdered three years ago by someone trying to get to me, and it was Jean-Paul in the hands of the people who put me in front of a firing squad. I'm not sure what was worse, the psychic shock or reality."
"I wouldn't know," Lil replied, looking back to her fingers as she tried to stamp down the helplessness that had been plaguing her since finding out the pair were missing. A woman of action, she was in no way content to sit on her ass and wait for things to happen. For things to get better. She wanted to hit something, to destroy and tear something tangible to shreds since there was nothing she could do to rebuild what was already broken. "You still look like shit."
"Yeah, well. Thankfully I don't need to worry about looking refreshed for you."
She snorted her disdain as she stood, tucking the book back under her arm to hide it from the telepath. The last thing she needed was him ragging on her for carrying around a child's book. "Whatever, Dayspring. I gotta get back and see if Johnny's awake yet. Enjoy the floor."
Nathan's expression changed suddenly, worry and a strange vulnerability surfacing from the bone-deep weariness. "Lil, wait..." he said, and it sounded almost like a plea, helped along by the hand he outstretched, as if involuntarily. "How... how is he doing?"
"Better than you look, though not by much," the blonde woman replied, ignoring his extended hand. "He's crashing in my suite for now until he can get his head sorted out." No thanks to anyone who let him in to see Jean-Paul in the state he was in. "He's a fucking kid who doesn't know what to do with himself and it doesn't help when all the other adults around don't know what to do, either."
Nathan's hand fell. "He snuck in here," he said tiredly. "I found him on the way out, after he'd already seen Jean-Paul... it had to be a hell of a shock." His eyes flickered towards the man in the room, as if to reassure himself that he wasn't listening.
Lil bit her tongue to stem the flow of curses that threatened to fall. Instead, with clenched jaw, she lifted her chin with frigid mask back in place. "He just spent a week away with the man who he's all but branded his new father. Of fucking course it was a hell of a shock for the kid." And her. It was heartbreaking to see the normally active speedster tethered to a hospital bed. But someone had to be strong.
"I told him why it happened." He wasn't looking at her, now. "Not all the details. Just that it was me, they were after. He needed someone to be angry at. He couldn't cope with 'senseless', not after what's already happened to him, poor kid..."
"Poor kid's sleeping so he's already better off than you," the blonde pointed out. Her voice was a bit steadier, calmer than it had been but her own anger was still ice cold beneath the surface of the words. "Doesn't fucking matter, anyway. All that does is getting him," Lil jerked her head back in Jean-Paul's direction, "back in working order as soon as possible."
Nathan echoed her gesture with a flinch, as if she'd hit him. "Right," he said, a bit disjointedly. "Well, we've been working on it..."
"Yeah, I know," Lil sighed, crossing her arms over her chest, the book crushed between as she let her attention go back to Jean-Paul. What they were doing, the telepaths, the machines, it wasn't enough... but she was helpless to provide any more support. "You said you ain't sleeping; you sure you good to keep watch again so soon?"
Nathan shrugged, leaning back against the wall, the cool metal almost soothing. "I'm here," he said. "Promised him I would be."
"Doesn't mean you should be if you're so sleep deprived you can't even stay on your feet," she pointed out. "Johnny's sleeping; I can take a few more hours if you need it."
"I'm on the floor by choice, Lil. Don't worry about me." He really didn't feel well at all, but once she was gone he'd pop another couple of pills. It would be enough to keep him going for a while longer, and then the inevitable crash would involve sleep whether he liked it or not. "But don't leave on account of me, either. You want to stay... well, I won't bother you with conversation."
The blonde woman shook her head and clutched the book closer. "No, thank you." Being there with Jean-Paul was one thing, having to share the space with Nathan was quite another. It had too much potential to lead down bridges that couldn't be recrossed. "If I'm not needed, I'm going back to the gym."
Nathan just nodded, his eyes going back to the still Jean-Paul. "If you want to come back at some point," he said quietly, "Amelia and Jean have already made it clear that I can't be here 24/7."
"They've got my number if you need relief," Lil told him, brushing a lock of gold from her eyes.
"Right."
Shaking her head, Lil didn't bother to look back over her shoulder at the man still slumped on the ground. She had enough to worry about in Jean-Paul and Johnny and couldn't add Dayspring to the list.