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xp_logs2010-02-15 01:05 am
x-pyromania.livejournal.com) wrote in xp_logs2010-02-15 01:05 am
Bobby | John - Late Last Night
'What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.' -Anon-
John was smoking outside, not minding the cold one bit. He kept his hands warm with the use of fire. The flames flickered and danced over his fingers and wrists.
It was late and most of the mansion's residents were asleep. It was usually around this time that John liked being out here. Sometimes he'd spent an hour or two just walking the grounds. It was his way of relaxing after a long and busy week and he thoroughly enjoyed the quiet.
"Of all the people to meet..." Bobby pulled up short. Over the past few weeks he'd been taking ritualistic walks around the grounds at night. It seemed like his mind was always running, and it seemed like taking walks was the best thing at calming his mind down. But as he came back to the mansion, the sight of his old friend sent his thoughts back into a frenzy once again. But Bobby couldn't help but smile back at him. "How's it going John?"
Oh boy.
Somehow John had a feeling tonight was going to be one of those nights.
Usually it was Jay who tended to disturb his peace at this hour though. But Jay was gone now.
He managed to fake a smile then sucked in a lungful of smoke. "Good." He flicked a glance at Bobby and supposed the fella was just going to stand there for a while more, albeit a little awkwardly. When was the last time they talked anyways? Aside from at the office? Even then he tended to use email to convey the important messages. "Where's the wife?"
"Still across the Pond actually." Bobby grinned as he pulled up alongside John. he still felt the tension every time he was around his old friend. But it still didn't mean that he wasn't going to make the effort to get through it... eventually. "It's getting pretty bad though. I'm almost out of clean underwear. May have to relearn how to do laundry, ya know?"
"And here I thought she would have whipped you into doing that by now." John let out a bit of a snort. He and Terry had never gotten along. He didn't like her one bit. She was a loudmouth, red headed witch bitch. Of course he wasn't going to share his opinion of Bobby's wife with him. That would only get him into trouble.
"She's a loud mouth red headed witch bitch."
Oh, now that just felt good to say out loud.
Bobby laughed at John's honesty. "Wow, tell me how you really feel?" He smiled as he turned to face him. "And this coming from the man who spent months living with Mystique?" He didn't need to give his opinion of the shape shifter who had once assumed his form inside of the mansion in order to give the Brotherhood more time to torture him. Everyone knew.
Okay. So John had that one coming. But did Bobby really need to bring that up?
Asshole.
"Funny." And for once, John had nothing else to say. He smoked his cigarette and blew it out the corner of his mouth. Maybe the guy would decide that his lungs were too precious a commodity and this whole attempt at a conversation wasn't worth it.
Bobby tried his best to breathe around the smoke, but it obviously wasn't going well. Slowly he turned. "I'll let you get back to your cancer sticks in peace." But after only a few steps, he stopped. He thought about his next comment several times, but slowly came to the realization that there wasn't anything he could really do to damage the relationship any more. Might as well go forward. Shoving his hands in his pockets, Bobby turned back around. "John, what the hell happened to us?"
Somehow he knew that was coming too. But he wasn't prepared for it. John shook his head. He felt annoyed, agitated, frustrated. Bobby always managed to get to him.
"I don't know." He kept staring straight ahead, refusing to look at his old friend. "I guess we grew up, Bobby. We're just different people now." The flame in his hand grew brighter, betraying the outward calm he was trying to project. "What the fuck did you expect anyways? That you'd just waltz back here and everything would go back to the way it used to be? It doesn't work that way, man."
Bobby froze in place. It was time to have this conversation, and he wasn't going to let John out of it for once. "I don't think that just by walking through the front door would suddenly make us all buddy, buddy again. But what I do want is to talk about it." Bobby tried to think through his words very carefully, and not just let the words come out in a verbal spew. "We may have been on the wrong side of a war at one point, but we were like brothers at one point too. Which side do you want to let win out John? Do you want to stay at war forever?"
And there it was. The inevitable talk. Trust Bobby to want to smooth things out. He never knew when to quit.
"I don't know what I want. I just know that I don't want to be burdened by the past and you--" He paused, unsure of whether he should go on. Bobby was trying, he could see that. But maybe it was time they finally stopped trying to fix things. Their friendship had been broken a long time ago and though they'd tried to work at it, obviously they'd gone nowhere far with that. There were just too many bad memories. Stuff he wished he could forget.
"Look, you're the past, Bobby. Frankly, I feel a lot more comfortable with you out of my life. Things were going great before you came back here and now--" He shook his head and stubbed out his cigarette. "I guess it doesn't matter. I'll be moving out in a week's time anyways. Guess this place just isn't large enough for the two of us."
That was a shocker. It felt like a kick in the gut. He would always want to be the man that thought he could get through anything. Maybe this would be the point that he was finally wrong. "If you want me to be your past and just fade away into the night that everything else in your life, I understand." Bobby took a breathe sucking in the cold, and hoping to draw comfort and maybe strength from it. "But as far as I see, if you don't confront me. You don't confront this, then I'll always be the dark spot in your past that's living and breathing. Which I always thought would make it hard to disappear into the night." With that Bobby turned and began walking back towards the mansion, still not sure if he wanted John to stop him.
John didn't. Unlike Bobby, John would rather quit while he thought he was ahead. Right now he just hoped he'd managed to hurt Bobby as much as Bobby had hurt him in the past. Ironic, wasn't it? He claimed to want to forget when he was steadfastly refusing to let go.
The fire in his hands died out and for a brief moment, John welcomed the cold.
He'd done what he thought was the right thing to do.
Enough for now.
John was smoking outside, not minding the cold one bit. He kept his hands warm with the use of fire. The flames flickered and danced over his fingers and wrists.
It was late and most of the mansion's residents were asleep. It was usually around this time that John liked being out here. Sometimes he'd spent an hour or two just walking the grounds. It was his way of relaxing after a long and busy week and he thoroughly enjoyed the quiet.
"Of all the people to meet..." Bobby pulled up short. Over the past few weeks he'd been taking ritualistic walks around the grounds at night. It seemed like his mind was always running, and it seemed like taking walks was the best thing at calming his mind down. But as he came back to the mansion, the sight of his old friend sent his thoughts back into a frenzy once again. But Bobby couldn't help but smile back at him. "How's it going John?"
Oh boy.
Somehow John had a feeling tonight was going to be one of those nights.
Usually it was Jay who tended to disturb his peace at this hour though. But Jay was gone now.
He managed to fake a smile then sucked in a lungful of smoke. "Good." He flicked a glance at Bobby and supposed the fella was just going to stand there for a while more, albeit a little awkwardly. When was the last time they talked anyways? Aside from at the office? Even then he tended to use email to convey the important messages. "Where's the wife?"
"Still across the Pond actually." Bobby grinned as he pulled up alongside John. he still felt the tension every time he was around his old friend. But it still didn't mean that he wasn't going to make the effort to get through it... eventually. "It's getting pretty bad though. I'm almost out of clean underwear. May have to relearn how to do laundry, ya know?"
"And here I thought she would have whipped you into doing that by now." John let out a bit of a snort. He and Terry had never gotten along. He didn't like her one bit. She was a loudmouth, red headed witch bitch. Of course he wasn't going to share his opinion of Bobby's wife with him. That would only get him into trouble.
"She's a loud mouth red headed witch bitch."
Oh, now that just felt good to say out loud.
Bobby laughed at John's honesty. "Wow, tell me how you really feel?" He smiled as he turned to face him. "And this coming from the man who spent months living with Mystique?" He didn't need to give his opinion of the shape shifter who had once assumed his form inside of the mansion in order to give the Brotherhood more time to torture him. Everyone knew.
Okay. So John had that one coming. But did Bobby really need to bring that up?
Asshole.
"Funny." And for once, John had nothing else to say. He smoked his cigarette and blew it out the corner of his mouth. Maybe the guy would decide that his lungs were too precious a commodity and this whole attempt at a conversation wasn't worth it.
Bobby tried his best to breathe around the smoke, but it obviously wasn't going well. Slowly he turned. "I'll let you get back to your cancer sticks in peace." But after only a few steps, he stopped. He thought about his next comment several times, but slowly came to the realization that there wasn't anything he could really do to damage the relationship any more. Might as well go forward. Shoving his hands in his pockets, Bobby turned back around. "John, what the hell happened to us?"
Somehow he knew that was coming too. But he wasn't prepared for it. John shook his head. He felt annoyed, agitated, frustrated. Bobby always managed to get to him.
"I don't know." He kept staring straight ahead, refusing to look at his old friend. "I guess we grew up, Bobby. We're just different people now." The flame in his hand grew brighter, betraying the outward calm he was trying to project. "What the fuck did you expect anyways? That you'd just waltz back here and everything would go back to the way it used to be? It doesn't work that way, man."
Bobby froze in place. It was time to have this conversation, and he wasn't going to let John out of it for once. "I don't think that just by walking through the front door would suddenly make us all buddy, buddy again. But what I do want is to talk about it." Bobby tried to think through his words very carefully, and not just let the words come out in a verbal spew. "We may have been on the wrong side of a war at one point, but we were like brothers at one point too. Which side do you want to let win out John? Do you want to stay at war forever?"
And there it was. The inevitable talk. Trust Bobby to want to smooth things out. He never knew when to quit.
"I don't know what I want. I just know that I don't want to be burdened by the past and you--" He paused, unsure of whether he should go on. Bobby was trying, he could see that. But maybe it was time they finally stopped trying to fix things. Their friendship had been broken a long time ago and though they'd tried to work at it, obviously they'd gone nowhere far with that. There were just too many bad memories. Stuff he wished he could forget.
"Look, you're the past, Bobby. Frankly, I feel a lot more comfortable with you out of my life. Things were going great before you came back here and now--" He shook his head and stubbed out his cigarette. "I guess it doesn't matter. I'll be moving out in a week's time anyways. Guess this place just isn't large enough for the two of us."
That was a shocker. It felt like a kick in the gut. He would always want to be the man that thought he could get through anything. Maybe this would be the point that he was finally wrong. "If you want me to be your past and just fade away into the night that everything else in your life, I understand." Bobby took a breathe sucking in the cold, and hoping to draw comfort and maybe strength from it. "But as far as I see, if you don't confront me. You don't confront this, then I'll always be the dark spot in your past that's living and breathing. Which I always thought would make it hard to disappear into the night." With that Bobby turned and began walking back towards the mansion, still not sure if he wanted John to stop him.
John didn't. Unlike Bobby, John would rather quit while he thought he was ahead. Right now he just hoped he'd managed to hurt Bobby as much as Bobby had hurt him in the past. Ironic, wasn't it? He claimed to want to forget when he was steadfastly refusing to let go.
The fire in his hands died out and for a brief moment, John welcomed the cold.
He'd done what he thought was the right thing to do.
Enough for now.