xp_logs | North & Wade | Saturday Afternoon

After failing to trigger North's precognition while sparring, he and Wade set up shop to leave some surprises for the thieves in their lives.

Wade cracked his neck and stretched his arms over his head before letting them drop to his sides. He raised his eyebrows at North. "You ready? Cause this is gonna be a lot of fun, if you're not able to do the preemptive... thing. Precog-y cheating... thing."

In response, the German cocked his head to the side and regarded him with an air of consideration as he bounced lightly on his feet. "I am not sure the 'thing' worked every time we sparred, in any case. Your experiment may be a dud from the start."

"Oh, that's how we're playing it today?" Wade asked, grinning. He'd wrapped his hands already, so he moved to the center mat in the gym. "C'mon, then. Let's go."

Thing was, North's precognition should have kicked in properly by the time Wade had thrown him onto the ground for the third time. If not, then probably the fourth or fifth time. But all that actually happened was a second of blurred vision and vague sensing of a frontal attack before he was back on his feet with a strangely cheerful sort of smirk curving his lips.

It was fairly obvious by then that there was no relying on his old powers. However, since his new powers meant that neither of them worried about breaking bones, this was a fantastic opportunity to vent some of the pent up energy that had built up over the weeks. North cracked his neck and took another run at his friend, more power than finesse in his actions -- the theme for the day, apparently.

Wade met North's forward momentum with a backward shift, then a step sideways. He took the German to the mat, figuring they might as well see if grappling -- a change in their style of fighting -- could trigger anything.

They landed on their sides, Wade's arms above his. But North pushed his weight to the left enough to roll the older man onto his back, toes digging into the mat. "Nope, nothing," he huffed down at Wade.

They kept at it for another hour and a half, more for the workout than any further attempts to trigger North's powers. By the end of it, they were both sweat-soaked and ready for a break. "Right, are we still on for the... thing." Bending down, he picked up a water bottle, then straightened and waved his hand through the air. "With the clocks?" He tossed the water to North.

"Yes, if you like," North said, practically inhaling half the bottle of water in a second. He felt... looser, for lack of better word, which was good. Muscles that had grown increasingly taut over the past weeks had finally slackened after their vigorous sparring. "The last of the parts were delivered yesterday."

Apparently the recent break-ins to his apartment were unacceptable, nevermind that the place was practically empty save for kitchenware and clothes (and maybe a couple of hidden weapons). So Wade had a plan, which found both freshly-showered men sitting at his kitchen a short half hour later, unpacking electronics while they waited on their takeout.

"Okay, so are we just getting evidence -- surveillance style? Or are we doing straight up booby traps for unsuspecting sneaky sneaks who may or may not be up to no good but who definitely shouldn't be sneaking into your suite like they have been? Cause I've got some excellent booby trap ideas. One involves slime and another involves silly string. And another involves really loud, really awful music from the eighties," Wade said. He gestured toward the bag sitting at his feet. "I brought my additions. In case you wanted to do them. Or we can just wire all your clocks up for evidence-gathering."

North squinted down at the pinhole camera lens he was attaching to a clock face, and pulled a face. "I suppose that would be tamer than the pressure release knives I have set up for Jubilation."

Wade laughed a little. "Yeah. I mean, if it was me you know it'd be all good. I heal fast enough that some pressure release knives wouldn't be the worst thing. But she doesn't. And she's not being malicious or anything. Just really fucking annoying, right?"

The German man snorted. "You underestimate that monkey. I suspect she takes some as souvenirs at times. And then steals my beer for Wagner. Though she apparently is no longer the only one with a penchant for housebreaking."

"Stealing people's beer," Wade said, tutting. "Rude. It's not like it'd be difficult to just ask you where you get it and to go get some herself." Wade turned the clock in front of him over and began very delicately working the wiring necessary for some of his traps into the framing on the back. There was no way he was going to risk messing up any of North's workmanship. "Anyway, you know they might take this as like. A gauntlet thrown or whatever, right? A challenge?"

"Ja," North said, carefully twining the wires down the back of the cuckoo clock he was working on -- one of the ones that old-Wanda had 'gifted' him after one of his extended stays in the medical lab. To be fair, Jubilation raiding his kitchen had become a thing to expect and prepare for. She maybe also made herself less of a deliberate pain when his food kept her happy. Or so he liked to think. "It is rather difficult for one to defend oneself from silly string, I suppose."

"Even more difficult?" Wade grinned. "Defending oneself from people blackmailing you with video of you attempting to defend yourself from silly string." He picked up a small transmitter. "I have it on very good authority that this little thing will get the video to a secure server. From there, you can do whatever you like with it."

North chuckled, wiring up the camera to its motherboard. "Excellent. Although -- what would you do if you were attacked by silly string?"

"Move out of the line of fire. Try to figure out what the next trap was," Wade answered. "Which is why we needed a lot of silly string. Can't let them dodge it and regroup." He nudged the bag still at his feet. "This is going to be epic."

"No reason to actually move if it is harmless," North noted. But a three hundred and sixty degree attack of silly string would actually be a sight to behold. "You can replace some of the music boxes with your bad 80's music, but cleaning up slime would perhaps be too much of a chore. I contemplated using flour once upon a time."

"Flour wouldn't be so bad," Wade offered, nodding. "But you're probably right about the slime. Unless you're really dedicated. If we amp up the music, we can make them have heart attacks before the silly string attack. Like, you know when you startle a cat and it falls off a table or whatever? I'm picturing that."

"I had best be glad the rooms are fairly well proofed against sound," North said. Otherwise it was possible that he would end up being a startled cat one day. He placed the clock with its newly installed camera to the side and stood, taking a moment to stretch out of habit before heading to the glass cabinet by the kitchen. "Whiskey or beer?"

"Whiskey," Wade said, gently taping the wireless transmitter to the back of the clock in front of him. "Definitely whiskey. Aren't the suites and rooms insulated against a bunch of different things? Sound? Powers stuff? Wait, no -- that's just specific ones, not all of them. Nevermind."

Too used to Wade to bother shaking his head, North retrieved his whiskey from a hidden panel at the back of a cabinet and brought it over to the table together with two tumblers in hand. The whiskey had just splashed into the crystal glass when North slammed the bottle down on the table and pitched forward, barely catching himself against the polished wood as his vision blanked, a film of white obscuring his irises with startling alacrity.

"Uh," Wade said, blinking a little. That was... new? Old? New-old? New thing, old thing. Something. Powers thing. "North?" Carefully putting the music box he was fiddling with down, Wade watched the German like he might be a ticking time bomb. He slid his phone out of his pocket and onto the table face-up, so he could hit the appropriate emergency speed-dial if necessary.

North froze for several more seconds, each one passing more slowly than the last. Then, with a jerk, he stood, nearly pitching backwards onto the floor. Pale eyes gradually regaining their colour as he blinked at Wade, shaking his head once to clear it.

“No need to raise any alarms,” he finally said, voice rough. “It was a vision. From… March.”

"Wait," Wade said. "I thought you did like twelve seconds or something."

"Since Stryker messed with my head, yes," North shook his head again, then poured himself a healthy glass of whiskey and knocked it back. "Before that, it was more hit and miss. I had another in November for New Year's eve." Which was why he had disappeared with Wanda over the week following it.

"Okay... so... what was the vision?" Wade asked, entirely unabashed.

"You spend far too much time and money procuring expensive liquor," the German shrugged, since it was not really news to him. "I would indeed enjoy the maker's selection you will gift to me next month for teaching your little girl how to throw a solid punch."

North rubbed at his eyes then resumed pouring Wade's drink like nothing had occurred in the interim. But the farther into the future his visions were, the more it seemed to drain him and his concentration.

Wade opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again. "Huh," he said. That was slightly unnerving, as he'd only had the thought about buying scotch for North yesterday. Now he guessed he sort of had to go ahead and buy it for him. "Being responsible for a teenager sucks," is what he finally said, picking up the clock he'd been working on before so he could continue its modifications.

"Better your problem than mine," North agreed, sliding the glass tumbler to him and picking up the next camera to install. "She learns fast, at least."

"Eh," Wade said, shrugging. "She's a pain, but she's not a bad kid. Not all the time. Anger management issues or whatever." Reaching for his drink, he took a slow sip and contemplating his life. It was literally nothing like what he'd assumed it would be at this point. "How's she doing, aside from 'learning fast?'"

"She is... thirsty for approval," North said slowly, smoothing his hand across the lacquered back of the clock. “I have not had any issues with her at all. In fact, learning fast may be a bit of an understatement. Does she have an eidetic memory? Or powers to that effect?”

"Dunno about her powers. Take note of it, maybe push her boundaries," Wade said. "And it'd be a lot easier to give her the approval she apparently wants if she'd quit doing awful things to people." He sighed, though, and shook his head. "But I'm glad you haven't had any trouble with her."

"It helps that I am not there to counsel or punish her. Or maybe she is just afraid of me. What has she done then?"

"Broke into my room in the suite, rifled through my stuff, nearly stabbed Marie-Ange, ran away in the middle of the night - I still don't know why she did that," Wade said, pausing to consider it. "Kicked her roommate out of their room after something happened. That was the last straw for the roommate, apparently? So now she's got a new one. I mean, there's all kinds of trauma and things going on there, too. I don't think she's totally doing all that out of spite or anything. Like I said, just anger management. And being a self-centered little shit. But then, she's a teenager, so. To be fair, nothing terrible recently."

"Angst." North nodded, carefully unscrewing the back of the clock and sliding the wires for the camera through the hole meant for the clock hands. "Childhood trauma? Self-entitlement? Are you practicing for actual parenthood?"

"God, no," Wade said, shaking his head. "This whole experience has made me realize I enjoy being the eclectic uncle more than the actual person responsible for a kid."

“Would be interesting.” North smirked, draining his glass, equilibrium restored in his head as he stood, carefully lifting the clock he had been working on. A couple of them were ready for installation on the walls now, to be put to work in the name of other interesting – if slightly juvenile – things. “Shall we?”

"Yes, let's shall," Wade said, pushing away thoughts of potential actual parenthood in favor of making sure the thieves in X-Force got appropriately Silly String'ed when they inevitably attempted to break into North's suite again.