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Ashley, Jessie, & Mel | Donuts
Ashley and Jessie get some donuts.
Ashley's free hand moved animatedly as she scrolled through her phone, reading out loud as she walked. "There were four menus for this place in the big kitchen, and somebody told me that kitchen was on fire right before I moved in, so if there's that many, it has to be great, right?" She kept scrolling. "Have you read the flavor list? I have a new life goal, and it's to try every single one. I'm giving up on my dream of gender swapped Beetlejuice, my new dream is here now."
Jessie was perusing one of said menus, eyes locked on and taking in all the information. "Spicy shrimp donut. I don't even like shrimp, but I'll try that. Do you think there's someone whose job it is to just come up with all the bestworst donut flavors? I want to do that job."
"I will watch you eat that donut and take pictures." Ashley said. "Addendum to my life goal, every donut except that one. Shrimp are creepy." Also not kosher, but mostly creepy. "That job would be amazing, right? I want to brainstorm donuts all day.." She paused outside the shop and look at the cartoon picture of a muppet vampire, who could easily be Count von Count's sparkly cousin eating a donut. "That should be creepy but he's kind of cute."
"If I find out this job exists, I'll quit college tomorrow. That's my new dream." Jessie stopped to give the cartoon muppet vampire a shallow, silly bow. "Thank you for your donuts, good sir."
Mel watched the pair walk in and put on her best customer service smile. This job would be the best yet. “Hi, welcome to Count Donutula’s Lab! Anythin’ I can get for y’all today?”
"Oh HI!" Ashley glanced up at her phone, having just opened insta to take pictures of the shrimp donut, or maybe Jessie eating one, and saw Mel. "Mel! Hi! I didn't know you were working here?" Ashley practically bounced on her feet a little. "Jessie we have to get like three dozen now. We have to." She had money. Not having to pay rent, or half the time grocery costs meant she still had money. "Are you allowed to tell us what's in the secret box? It is awful? Is it really truly awful? Can I get like four of the pie donuts? I need pie in a donut inside my mouth." Ashley had finished an entire venti iced coffee on the way there, and it showed.
“Ashley, right? It’s good to see ya!” Mel grinned. “I work lots of places. I ain’t got a clue what’s in the secret box. They don’ tell us.” She looked at the shrimp donut and pulled a face. “That one’s my fault though. They asked in my interview the weirdest donut flavor I could think of- didn’t think they’d take it serious!”
"Well, right now TikTok is saying yesterday's was wasabi and lemon, so I'm scared." Ashley eyed the 'secret box' and turned away from it purposefully. She was not considering it, it was not worth a free dozen donuts to eat whatever was in there. "Also scared of the shrimp one, but Jessie said she'd eat one." Throwing her friend under the bus for insta likes, the Ashley Crawford Way.
And Jessie would do it. For the insta likes. "Wait, how did you get a job here? I didn't see any help wanted signs. Do they really take your donut flavor ideas seriously? Also I'm Jessie, hi."
“Hi, nice to meet ya! It jus’ kinda happened,” Mel shrugged vaguely. “They rejected the idea for a pickled vegetable one- which woulda been delicious by the way. I’m not actually sure who the boss is? Or who decides on the flavors. So many people work here. I jus’ work the register. Speakin’ a which, what can I get y’all?”
"I need four pie donuts, please." Ashley said. "Four pie, two of the 'are you freaking kidding me with that' chocolate ones, a blood orange creamsicle... " She did math in her head, her, Jessie, Hope because Hope had probably never had fancy donuts, she owned Sam so many donuts. "Two key lime.. that's nine, right? And three of whatever you think is good except the shrimp or maple bacon. Surprise me!"
“Alrighty!” Mel jotted all that down with surprising speed and mused over the donuts on display, deciding on a hibiscus, a strawberry cheesecake, and a churro donut- all delicious. “Okay fer a dozen it’s discounted, so that’ll come out to $39.64. Can I get y’all anythin’ else?”
Jessie had not turned away from the secret box yet. "Ashley. Ashley, think of the TikTok clout we could get for eating those donuts."
Ashley managed to look horrified and fascinated and for a moment, avaricious all at once, while tapping her phone on the payment pad. "On one hand, TikTok clout. On the other hand, what if the box is something awful like jellied eels donuts." She hastily stuck her phone in her pocket once she'd paid as though keeping it out would increase her temptation to eat a potentially horrible, bad texture, non-kosher donut for likes on social media.
Mel laughed as she boxed up their non-mystery donuts. “I cain’t advise either way- it could be gross or it could be the most delicious donut you’ve ever eaten.” She was under contract not to peak and spoil it, but some of the ones she’d seen had been truly ghastly.
"I'm doing it," Jessie said confidently, pulling out her own debit card. "One secret box. Worse that happens is it's disgusting and we leave it on the counter in the main kitchen for other people. No one turns up free food."
Ashley's grimace did not stop her from pulling her phone back out of her pocket. "I regret nothing except all the things I will regret in ten minutes. Two bottles of water too, in case this really is eels." She took her box of not terrifying donuts and walked over to one of the little tables, and set her phone balanced on the tiny little tripod that popped out of its case.
Jessie paid for the box and popped it open, grabbing the worst looking donut and displaying it for the camera. "Lezzgo."
Ashley's free hand moved animatedly as she scrolled through her phone, reading out loud as she walked. "There were four menus for this place in the big kitchen, and somebody told me that kitchen was on fire right before I moved in, so if there's that many, it has to be great, right?" She kept scrolling. "Have you read the flavor list? I have a new life goal, and it's to try every single one. I'm giving up on my dream of gender swapped Beetlejuice, my new dream is here now."
Jessie was perusing one of said menus, eyes locked on and taking in all the information. "Spicy shrimp donut. I don't even like shrimp, but I'll try that. Do you think there's someone whose job it is to just come up with all the bestworst donut flavors? I want to do that job."
"I will watch you eat that donut and take pictures." Ashley said. "Addendum to my life goal, every donut except that one. Shrimp are creepy." Also not kosher, but mostly creepy. "That job would be amazing, right? I want to brainstorm donuts all day.." She paused outside the shop and look at the cartoon picture of a muppet vampire, who could easily be Count von Count's sparkly cousin eating a donut. "That should be creepy but he's kind of cute."
"If I find out this job exists, I'll quit college tomorrow. That's my new dream." Jessie stopped to give the cartoon muppet vampire a shallow, silly bow. "Thank you for your donuts, good sir."
Mel watched the pair walk in and put on her best customer service smile. This job would be the best yet. “Hi, welcome to Count Donutula’s Lab! Anythin’ I can get for y’all today?”
"Oh HI!" Ashley glanced up at her phone, having just opened insta to take pictures of the shrimp donut, or maybe Jessie eating one, and saw Mel. "Mel! Hi! I didn't know you were working here?" Ashley practically bounced on her feet a little. "Jessie we have to get like three dozen now. We have to." She had money. Not having to pay rent, or half the time grocery costs meant she still had money. "Are you allowed to tell us what's in the secret box? It is awful? Is it really truly awful? Can I get like four of the pie donuts? I need pie in a donut inside my mouth." Ashley had finished an entire venti iced coffee on the way there, and it showed.
“Ashley, right? It’s good to see ya!” Mel grinned. “I work lots of places. I ain’t got a clue what’s in the secret box. They don’ tell us.” She looked at the shrimp donut and pulled a face. “That one’s my fault though. They asked in my interview the weirdest donut flavor I could think of- didn’t think they’d take it serious!”
"Well, right now TikTok is saying yesterday's was wasabi and lemon, so I'm scared." Ashley eyed the 'secret box' and turned away from it purposefully. She was not considering it, it was not worth a free dozen donuts to eat whatever was in there. "Also scared of the shrimp one, but Jessie said she'd eat one." Throwing her friend under the bus for insta likes, the Ashley Crawford Way.
And Jessie would do it. For the insta likes. "Wait, how did you get a job here? I didn't see any help wanted signs. Do they really take your donut flavor ideas seriously? Also I'm Jessie, hi."
“Hi, nice to meet ya! It jus’ kinda happened,” Mel shrugged vaguely. “They rejected the idea for a pickled vegetable one- which woulda been delicious by the way. I’m not actually sure who the boss is? Or who decides on the flavors. So many people work here. I jus’ work the register. Speakin’ a which, what can I get y’all?”
"I need four pie donuts, please." Ashley said. "Four pie, two of the 'are you freaking kidding me with that' chocolate ones, a blood orange creamsicle... " She did math in her head, her, Jessie, Hope because Hope had probably never had fancy donuts, she owned Sam so many donuts. "Two key lime.. that's nine, right? And three of whatever you think is good except the shrimp or maple bacon. Surprise me!"
“Alrighty!” Mel jotted all that down with surprising speed and mused over the donuts on display, deciding on a hibiscus, a strawberry cheesecake, and a churro donut- all delicious. “Okay fer a dozen it’s discounted, so that’ll come out to $39.64. Can I get y’all anythin’ else?”
Jessie had not turned away from the secret box yet. "Ashley. Ashley, think of the TikTok clout we could get for eating those donuts."
Ashley managed to look horrified and fascinated and for a moment, avaricious all at once, while tapping her phone on the payment pad. "On one hand, TikTok clout. On the other hand, what if the box is something awful like jellied eels donuts." She hastily stuck her phone in her pocket once she'd paid as though keeping it out would increase her temptation to eat a potentially horrible, bad texture, non-kosher donut for likes on social media.
Mel laughed as she boxed up their non-mystery donuts. “I cain’t advise either way- it could be gross or it could be the most delicious donut you’ve ever eaten.” She was under contract not to peak and spoil it, but some of the ones she’d seen had been truly ghastly.
"I'm doing it," Jessie said confidently, pulling out her own debit card. "One secret box. Worse that happens is it's disgusting and we leave it on the counter in the main kitchen for other people. No one turns up free food."
Ashley's grimace did not stop her from pulling her phone back out of her pocket. "I regret nothing except all the things I will regret in ten minutes. Two bottles of water too, in case this really is eels." She took her box of not terrifying donuts and walked over to one of the little tables, and set her phone balanced on the tiny little tripod that popped out of its case.
Jessie paid for the box and popped it open, grabbing the worst looking donut and displaying it for the camera. "Lezzgo."
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I snorted.
How did Mel get hired? Who does she work for? It is a Mystery.
Always cool to see the girls outside the mansion doing Social Things, particularly when it's just young adults doing goofy, low-stakes stuff.