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xp_logs2025-06-20 04:42 pm
xp_cannonball) wrote in xp_logs2025-06-20 04:42 pm
Entry tags:
Not Another Teen Dimension | Paige and Sam | College Acceptance?
Sam gets emotional about some mail, Paige doesn't really understand why.
Sam frowned and stared at the envelopes on the table of what passed for the Guthrie house in this dimension. They were all addressed to him, each of them from a different university, and each of them with the weight of Paige's college acceptance. They'd clearly already been opened, and it was nearing the end of April which meant that a decision had to be made soon. He wasn't sure which one other him had picked, but he didn't really think that one could go wrong with any of these programs.
He looked up at Paige when he heard her walk in. "Oh- sorry, I'll get out yer hair jus'- kinda hard to believe that these are mine.....or well, they're for other me but.....I'm almost afraid to look at 'em."
“Oh. You’re good.” Paige hadn’t really paid attention to the pile of envelopes that were addressed to Sam. This dimension’s her had a busy schedule of SGA activities and homework for her advanced classes. Thankfully, her habit of keeping an intensely organized planner seemed to be a universal constant. “What’cha got there?”
"Uh...college acceptance letters." Sam said. "I think.....they're addressed t'me but I haven't been able to force myself to open them."
“College acceptance letters? For you?” Paige asked. She shouldn’t have been surprised, this was a different reality but it was just so…different. Paige didn’t remember Sam looking at colleges when they were in high school, let alone applying and getting responses. “Where to?”
Sam's lips pulled into a tight line but he didn't snark back at her, even if he wanted to. "Uh.....Stanford....Purdue....Cornell....but I mean, I don't know that they're acceptances. I ain't opened 'em t'look."
“THEY’RE FROM IVIES??” Ok, not entirely Ivy Leagues, but good enough. Paige hadn’t even been accepted into Stanford. That felt strange. She had always been the smart one, the one “going places” according to the neighbors. If this is what Sam would have been in a more stable childhood, then…what did he give up back home?
Paige tried to school her features into something more normal. “That’s amazing, Sammy! You should be very proud.”
"I guess." He said, still staring at the envelopes, as if they'd open themselves if he just looked at them long enough. "Wasn't really me though, was it?"
Paige wasn’t entirely sure what to say to that, so she settled for a half shrug.
"...Should I look?" He asked after a long moment. "I mean....maybe they say what program other me applied for, y'know?"
“Yeah, go for it!” Paige said, probably too enthusiastically. Maybe if he opened the rather large envelopes, this moment would feel less awkward. It also helped that Paige wanted to see what program Sam had applied for, too.
His hands shook while he opened the first envelope. He was still in disbelief honestly. It was hard to think of a world where he got to do this. Where he got to be this. Where he goT to do what Daddy had always wanted. He read the letter silently, as if speaking the acceptance aloud would break some sort of spell and send him flying back to reality. "Engineering. Other me is going for engineering."
“Engineering? Isn’t that what your boyfriend does?” Paige vaguely remembered the talk he gave in her physics class. Odd that this Sam would have picked the same career path. At least it wasn’t the same as her career path.
"Well yeah....but it's also the practical application of my favorite branch of science." Sam shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, but he'd thought Paige had known that he loved physics.
Paige wasn’t entirely sure what she had said, but she could feel Sam deflating as the conversation went on. “That’s really great, Sam….I uh, I should probably go get some homework done.” Didn’t matter which dimension she was in, there was always homework.
"Yeah." He said, flipping through the acceptance packet and looking at the financial aid package that had been awarded to him. "Things goin' okay with the uh- the extracurriculars 'n all? I'm- I'm really enjoyin' gettin' to play baseball again."
He wanted to be excited about everything that was going for him in this dimension. But he knew too much about the reality he was going back to, and Paige had only sealed the deal on that. It didn't matter how hard he applied himself or where he applied- he'd never make it like this at home. Too aggressive to be popular. Too much of a hick to be seen as a nerd. Too...too devoted to others to be successful himself. It all still felt like a dream- like something he'd wake up from in a few hours and then laugh with Clint about how ridiculous it was that he still hoped for that kind of "happy ending" and then spend the next few minutes trying to pretend that Clint didn't look worried about him.
People like Sam didn't get to hold onto feelings like this. He'd learned that the hard way.
When you're everyone's caregiver they stop thinking you need caring about. He knew that. And yet it still hurt to have confirmation that Paige didn't care about him in anything resembling the way that he cared about her. He'd always loved physics- used to talk her ear off about it. They'd had a whole talk after the...after what happened with Joelle about how Sam had given up his own chance at college so that Paige could get out. And yet...she didn't know. She still seemed surprised that he could want things, that he might have wanted to study something he loved...she seemed surprised that he was smart. And it stung.
“Are you ok?” Paige asked. Sam looked like he could cry but was holding it together until she left the room and she couldn’t stand to see Sam cry. “Y’know. There are programs back home you could look into. Take a few classes. If you’re interested.”
"I'm aware of that, Paige, thank you." He said, a bit more stiffly and clipped than he'd intended. "I'm fine- jus' - jus' thinkin' on things I guess."
“Ok…guess I’ll see you later then.” She tried not to sound annoyed, but it wasn’t her fault Sam was upset. Sure, it sucked that he hadn’t been able to apply for college back home, but Sam never seemed to be academically focused. Maybe it bothered him that this Sam was. Probably better for Paige to leave him alone until he got over it.
Sam frowned and stared at the envelopes on the table of what passed for the Guthrie house in this dimension. They were all addressed to him, each of them from a different university, and each of them with the weight of Paige's college acceptance. They'd clearly already been opened, and it was nearing the end of April which meant that a decision had to be made soon. He wasn't sure which one other him had picked, but he didn't really think that one could go wrong with any of these programs.
He looked up at Paige when he heard her walk in. "Oh- sorry, I'll get out yer hair jus'- kinda hard to believe that these are mine.....or well, they're for other me but.....I'm almost afraid to look at 'em."
“Oh. You’re good.” Paige hadn’t really paid attention to the pile of envelopes that were addressed to Sam. This dimension’s her had a busy schedule of SGA activities and homework for her advanced classes. Thankfully, her habit of keeping an intensely organized planner seemed to be a universal constant. “What’cha got there?”
"Uh...college acceptance letters." Sam said. "I think.....they're addressed t'me but I haven't been able to force myself to open them."
“College acceptance letters? For you?” Paige asked. She shouldn’t have been surprised, this was a different reality but it was just so…different. Paige didn’t remember Sam looking at colleges when they were in high school, let alone applying and getting responses. “Where to?”
Sam's lips pulled into a tight line but he didn't snark back at her, even if he wanted to. "Uh.....Stanford....Purdue....Cornell....but I mean, I don't know that they're acceptances. I ain't opened 'em t'look."
“THEY’RE FROM IVIES??” Ok, not entirely Ivy Leagues, but good enough. Paige hadn’t even been accepted into Stanford. That felt strange. She had always been the smart one, the one “going places” according to the neighbors. If this is what Sam would have been in a more stable childhood, then…what did he give up back home?
Paige tried to school her features into something more normal. “That’s amazing, Sammy! You should be very proud.”
"I guess." He said, still staring at the envelopes, as if they'd open themselves if he just looked at them long enough. "Wasn't really me though, was it?"
Paige wasn’t entirely sure what to say to that, so she settled for a half shrug.
"...Should I look?" He asked after a long moment. "I mean....maybe they say what program other me applied for, y'know?"
“Yeah, go for it!” Paige said, probably too enthusiastically. Maybe if he opened the rather large envelopes, this moment would feel less awkward. It also helped that Paige wanted to see what program Sam had applied for, too.
His hands shook while he opened the first envelope. He was still in disbelief honestly. It was hard to think of a world where he got to do this. Where he got to be this. Where he goT to do what Daddy had always wanted. He read the letter silently, as if speaking the acceptance aloud would break some sort of spell and send him flying back to reality. "Engineering. Other me is going for engineering."
“Engineering? Isn’t that what your boyfriend does?” Paige vaguely remembered the talk he gave in her physics class. Odd that this Sam would have picked the same career path. At least it wasn’t the same as her career path.
"Well yeah....but it's also the practical application of my favorite branch of science." Sam shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, but he'd thought Paige had known that he loved physics.
Paige wasn’t entirely sure what she had said, but she could feel Sam deflating as the conversation went on. “That’s really great, Sam….I uh, I should probably go get some homework done.” Didn’t matter which dimension she was in, there was always homework.
"Yeah." He said, flipping through the acceptance packet and looking at the financial aid package that had been awarded to him. "Things goin' okay with the uh- the extracurriculars 'n all? I'm- I'm really enjoyin' gettin' to play baseball again."
He wanted to be excited about everything that was going for him in this dimension. But he knew too much about the reality he was going back to, and Paige had only sealed the deal on that. It didn't matter how hard he applied himself or where he applied- he'd never make it like this at home. Too aggressive to be popular. Too much of a hick to be seen as a nerd. Too...too devoted to others to be successful himself. It all still felt like a dream- like something he'd wake up from in a few hours and then laugh with Clint about how ridiculous it was that he still hoped for that kind of "happy ending" and then spend the next few minutes trying to pretend that Clint didn't look worried about him.
People like Sam didn't get to hold onto feelings like this. He'd learned that the hard way.
When you're everyone's caregiver they stop thinking you need caring about. He knew that. And yet it still hurt to have confirmation that Paige didn't care about him in anything resembling the way that he cared about her. He'd always loved physics- used to talk her ear off about it. They'd had a whole talk after the...after what happened with Joelle about how Sam had given up his own chance at college so that Paige could get out. And yet...she didn't know. She still seemed surprised that he could want things, that he might have wanted to study something he loved...she seemed surprised that he was smart. And it stung.
“Are you ok?” Paige asked. Sam looked like he could cry but was holding it together until she left the room and she couldn’t stand to see Sam cry. “Y’know. There are programs back home you could look into. Take a few classes. If you’re interested.”
"I'm aware of that, Paige, thank you." He said, a bit more stiffly and clipped than he'd intended. "I'm fine- jus' - jus' thinkin' on things I guess."
“Ok…guess I’ll see you later then.” She tried not to sound annoyed, but it wasn’t her fault Sam was upset. Sure, it sucked that he hadn’t been able to apply for college back home, but Sam never seemed to be academically focused. Maybe it bothered him that this Sam was. Probably better for Paige to leave him alone until he got over it.
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That one made ME cry while writing it