Cecilia and Nathan

[x-reyes.livejournal.com]

Late Sunday evening, Cecilia goes out for a walk to escape the mild-madness of the mansion after Angelo's journal was hijacked. She bumps into Nate at the lake, and winds up taking him along. They discuss everything from the lack of downtime between crises, to green-furred space chimpanzees. No, really.



He had killed the punching bag. Well and truly killed it; it had wound up a torn leather shell and a pile of sand which he had cleaned up, seething the whole while. Going into the Danger Room had been tempting, but he'd just gotten access back and he didn't want to jeopardize it by getting caught using the Room to vent.

So he'd ventured outside, instead. Moira's end of the link was still ablaze with anger, and it was probably a good thing that they stayed away from each other until they both cooled down. Otherwise the furious thoughts would just bounce back and forth across the link and drive them both berserk. Which would be bad.

Standing on the lakeshore, Nathan stared fixedly at the water, pulling pillars of it upwards, as thick as the columns of the Parthenon. Water was heavy, probably heavier than he should be lifting right now, but he didn't care. He had to do something that took concentration, anything to get his mind off the fact that he could not control his temper and he seriously wanted to kill someone.

As far as crises at Xavier's went, this one was at least quieter than the others - still one hell of a mess, but it didn't involve medlab work, so it wasn't all that crazed. Still, it warranted getting out of the house for a little while, so Cecilia was doing just that, a lightweight, hooded sweatshirt worn over her t-shirt - her NYU Medical sweatshirt.

Of course, she could only walk so far before she noticed the odd, pillar-y shapes out by the lake, and rather than ignore it, like a sane person would, Cecilia went to investigate. She wasn't sure if she was glad she had or not.

"Water is pretty heavy, you know," she called once she could tell who it was on the shore, her tone of voice wry.

Nathan, all of his attention on balancing half a dozen of the pillars, was startled enough by her approach that he half-whirled towards her, losing his grip. Four of the pillars fell back into the water, the splash big enough to reach him even on the shore, but his mind blurred across the other two and they boiled in an instant, flashing from water into steam.

Cecilia grimaced, one arm coming up to shield her face from the water - not that it reached quite that far, but reflexes were reflexes. "Whoops," she mumbled, eyes following the steam as it dissipated. "Um. Hi?"

Nathan took a deep breath, ignoring the dull pain that had replaced the pressure behind his eyes. "Sorry," he muttered, his eyes flickering back out to the water. "You startled me. I suppose I shouldn't be evaporating the lake."

"Or levitating it," Cecilia agreed, very slowly letting her arm lower back to her side. "You were probably edging in on your weight limit, honey.. though I'm still sorry I startled you, just the same."

"Probably was," Nathan murmured, rubbing at his eyes for a moment. The anger was... not going away, but it was less focused. More erratic. His hands were shaking and he couldn't quite make them stop. "Had to get out of the house," he went on, tightly, squeezing his eyes shut. "I can't be bouncing this across the link to Moira, and Charles will turn me narcoleptic again if I'm not careful."

Cecilia eyed him for a moment before she nodded to herself, lifting a hand and making a beckoning gesture at the much, much larger man. "Can't blame you for going for a little distance," she replied gently. "Come on. You can come with me on my walk, make sure no evil space monkeys land and kidnap me away."

Nathan, after a moment, fell in beside her. "Space monkeys," he said, his voice strained. They continued along the lakeshore, and he stuck his hands in his pockets, since they still wouldn't stay steady. "Just what we need."

"Green-furred space monkeys," Cecilia confirmed, eyeing Nathan out of the corner of one eye as they walked. "I'm envisioning chimpanzees, myself, though I'm sure gorillas would be involved somehow."

"Gorillas," Nathan echoed. "Oh." His head hurt. His own fault. "Cecilia," he said after a moment, "you should probably be thwapping me."

"I'll wait until you're sitting down," Cecilia promised, though she did reach towards him, to try and smoothly hook an arm through one of his. "Your balance okay? Should we be heading back?"

Nathan tried not to jump out of his skin at the physical contact. Small, female, friendly, he told himself. "My balance is all right, I think," he said a bit wildly. "Let's not go back just yet, though. I don't want the Sleeping Beauty routine to start up again."

"I don't bite, contrary to popular belief," Cecilia observed gently as she noticed him tense up - hard not to, really - and she offered him a sympathetic (and somewhat sheepish) grin. "Domino and Shan have done a rather good job of making my head associate 'comfort and calmness' with 'physical contact', I'm afraid. I can back off if you need the space."

Breathe, he told himself. "It's okay," he said, a little more calmly, trying to smile back at her. "I shouldn't be this twitchy. Don't really have the excuse anymore."

Cecilia smiled wryly, arching an eyebrow up at him. "I've never had an excuse, and up until Shiro's little episode, I hadn't really had a hug from anyone but my mother since I was six," she observed. "If you're sure it's okay, though, I know I'd take comfort in having Moira's big, strapping, handsome boyfriend leading me around by the arm. Nice and safe-like. Even if he does make his head hurt too much."

This was vaguely bizarre. "Okay," he said a bit edgily, his eyes flickering down to her and then to the path ahead. "Think I can probably handle that." They walked in silence for a minute or two, until Nathan decided that it was an awkward silence and he'd really better fill it. "Out for some air too?"

She'd have to remember to get back at Dom and Shan for hooking her on the whole 'contact' thing, somehow. Maybe Moira'd let her steal some of the Koosh artillery she'd seen in her office. As content as she was with the silence, she didn't mind the conversation, either, and looked up with a small grin. "I walk when things get crazy," Cecilia confirmed. "It helps to put a little space between it and myself. Perspective and breathing space."

"I should just start living outside," Nathan muttered, then grimaced. "Moira and I were supposed to pitch the tent tonight, out here... so much for that idea."

"There a crisis in medlab I'm not aware of?" Cecilia asked lightly, tilting her head to one side. "This isn't that far away from the house, Nathan. I'm pretty sure we could find you both out here if we needed you."

"She's trying to lose herself in work. I'm trying not to fly off the handle. Both are laborious and time-intensive tasks." That had almost come out sounding like he was trying to be funny. Woo. "Maybe tomorrow night," he muttered.

She made a noise of understanding, nodding and lightly patting Nathan's arm with her free hand. "Fair enough. Keep an eye on her, when you go back in..? Maddie gave her the go-ahead for coffee the other day, but in moderation.. and, well, I worry."

Nathan took another deep breath. That would be good. Watching Moira like a hawk. Would pull him nicely out of his own head again. "I've been watching," he said with a sigh. "I'll keep watching. She's been making the most disgusted faces at what the coffee she's allowed to drink. Apparently it's not quite up to her standards."

"It doesn't eat through mugs," Cecilia nodded, smiling a little. "I'd go peek in on her myself, but I'm not sure I'm quite up to it.. homework's been keeping me up far too late, and classes have me awake far too early." Her smile turned self-depricating. "If I'm a little loopy, by the way, that would be why."

"We can be loopy together," he offered with a brittle little laugh. Loopy was better than homicidal, really. "They're going well, though? Classes?"

"Very well," Cecilia replied, and couldn't help but beam cheerfully. "Madelyn's taking good care of me, especially on that score. The local college has decent professors, and the ones she has me doing correspondance with are quite good."

"That's good. I'm glad it's working out." The trail was turning into the woods now, away from the lake. It was dark and quiet and almost, if not quite, soothing. "I always wanted to go back to school," he murmured after a moment.

Cecilia kept her attention on Nathan, trusting him to lead the way safely - worst case scenario, she figured, was walking into a tree, and she had protection for that. Sort of. "Yeah? What would you study, given the chance?"

"Maybe a doctorate to go with my master's," Nathan said. "Maybe a second master's degree. Different kind of history... I don't know."

"You should think about it," Cecilia replied seriously. "I know your circumstances for being unable to hit a college are a hell of a lot different than mine a-- were, but I'm sure something could be worked out."

It was an odd thought, completely at odds with everything else running through his mind at the moment. "There aren't that many reasons why not to anymore, I suppose," he said slowly. "Other than the number of hours in a day... it would be nice, though." He smiled faintly. "You'd think I'd have been happy with three degrees, huh?"

"Can never be too educated," Cecilia chuckled, shaking her head. "Could always look at correspondance courses.. they tend to be pretty forgiving on the schedule."

Nathan gave her a slightly quizzical look. "How did we get from... wherever we started out at to talking about correspondence courses?"

"We're both feeling a little loopy," she said with a shrug, grinning up at him. "Conversation wanders in odd directions when one's in that kind of mood."

Nathan made a noncommittal sound. "I don't like having to pick up hysterical kids off their bathroom floors," he said after a moment, under his breath.

See? What did she tell him! Odd directions. "I don't think anyone really enjoys that," Cecilia agreed gently, giving Nathan's arm a light, careful squeeze.

"This place drives me insane sometimes," he said heavily. "It really does. It doesn't ever stop. And just when the outside threats do, we get things falling apart on the inside."

"I'd just like to state for the record that it's slightly bizarre to be on the other end of this conversation," Cecilia mused quietly, letting the side of her head lightly rest against his shoulder for a moment. "Shan's much better at this than I am, but.. really, Nate, it'll get better. And whatever little yutz decided to stir shit up this time'll be hung up by his thumbs as soon as they find him."

"I don't mean to sound so... discouraged," Nathan said dully, after a moment. "I'm just tired. You know..." He paused, silent for a few steps as they walked. "Three weeks. Three weeks ago, we were getting back from Florida, and I went back to the suite, headachey and tired and very happy with myself..." He stopped again. "Then they kidnapped Moira the next morning."

"You've had less time to breathe than I have," Cecilia murmured quietly, the corners of her mouth twitching downwards at the realization. Even taking the whole brainwashing episode into account, she hadn't stopped to think about it quite like that.

Nathan shook his head. "I don't know that I can do this after all," he said, no emotion in the words, just exhaustion. "It's been six months of this, Cecilia, one thing after the other..." He gave her a tiny, strained smile. "You know, I have been kidnapped twice, shot, stabbed, beaten up, nuked, brainwashed, gone through cardiac arrest several times, and had a couple of million dead people from the future move into my head since the end of February?" He paused. "And poisoned," he said, almost gravely. "I forgot poisoned."

"And I thought the commandoes were bad," Cecilia replied slowly, blinking up at Nathan with something akin to awe on her face. Awe that he hadn't bolted ages ago. "I'm.. not entirely sure what I can say to that, honey.. though I've never been particularly articulate, anyway."

He took a deep breath, managing another wan smile. "You know what else?" His eyes were stinging a bit. "None of it hurt more than walking into that bathroom today and seeing Angelo on the floor. Or finding out that Amanda's having trouble with her magic again. Or hell, telling Manuel..." No, never mind Manuel. He swallowed, forced himself to go on. "I loved this place. I loved it from the minute I got here. And it kills me to see things like this happening."

"They happen at every school," Cecilia replied quietly, slowly shaking her head. "It doesn't make it any easier to deal with, I'm sure, but.." She shrugged helplessly, then glanced around, dimly wondering how far off they were from where Domino had found her. "You want to sit for a few minutes before we wander back?"

"Not a bad idea, I guess." They settled down beneath a tree, and Nathan gave Cecilia a pained look. "I shouldn't be dumping all of this on you," he said with a sigh. "It just... sneaks out at odd times lately." He tried to muster another smile. "I'll be fine in the morning."

"I can relate," Cecilia replied wryly, leaning comfortably against the tree once she'd gotten settled. Or as comfortably as she could, considering, well, tree. "And I don't mind, Nate, really. If you need to let it out, go to town. I'm rather fond of you, so helping you keep yourself in one piece is way up there on my priorities list." She offered him a smile.

"It doesn't help to let it out. It doesn't get it out." He tried to think of a way to explain. "It's like opening a door. The door's either open or closed, and to be honest, the whole huddled catatonic in a corner thing never really appealed to me."

"I can certainly sympathise there," Cecilia mused, thinking for a moment before taking another look around, this one more leisurely. "You know, I think this might be around where I made a fool of myself on Dom, after you and Paul were brought in from saving Shiro's ass..? There were trees, I know that for sure."

Nathan couldn't help smiling a little. "Let me guess... she caught you at a vulnerable moment, then nagged and nagged and wouldn't leave you alone until you cracked?"

"Pretty much," she confirmed dryly, looking up with a small smile. "I didn't even get a chance to thank her for it before she ran off. I at least need to take her out for a drink or something, after crying all over her poor shirt."

"She learned it from me, you know," he confessed dryly. "I can't tell you how many people I've had cry on me since I've been here. Getting to be a rather frightening number."

"You're a very reassuring presence, corny as that sounds," Cecilia chuckled, reaching over to give him a light pat on the arm. "Same way that Hank is, I think. You're both big enough that most people could literally lose themselves in a hug."

"This hugging thing," he said with another sigh. "New to me. And I was really getting to like it, before I wound up back home getting my brain turned inside out again."

"It's almost all better again," Cecilia mused reassuringly, stretching an arm up to give him a very light, careful pat on the head. Don't want to aggravate his headache, now. "I'm slowly warming up to the idea of hugs, myself. It's very disturbing."

She had just patted him on the head. Nathan laughed suddenly, a tired laugh but a real one. "You're a little disturbing yourself, Cecilia. In the good way, mind you."

Cecilia grinned, nodding sagely as she dropped her hand back into her lap. "Thank you," she replied honestly. "I do try. The loopy mood probably helps."

Loopiness was highly underrated, Nathan thought, leaning back against the trunk of the tree. "I think Moira's asleep," he murmured. "Could slip back in, I guess. Not really angry anymore... I'm just tired, now. Again. Still."

"I better get you back before you fall asleep here, then," Cecilia chuckled, keeping her grin as she shifted to get back to her feet. "You want me to take a peek at your head before you go lay down, or does it feel better?"

"It's okay, I think," he said, taking her hand as she offered it. The help getting back to his feet was quite welcome. "Just a little sore." Even when he was on her feet, he didn't release her hand. "Thanks," he said quietly.

Cecilia smiled, and gave his hand a quick squeeze. She was content to let him keep it as long as he needed to. "Anytime. Wasn't kidding when I said I was fond of you, you know."

"Getting rather fond of you myself," he said, his voice a bit hoarse as they started back towards the mansion. "And not just because you listen to me ramble without rolling your eyes. Rare gift, that one."

"I save my eye-rolling for occasions where it's truly necessary," Cecilia replied seriously, glancing up at him with another smile. "You've only gotten there once or twice. I have a very good tolerance."