http://x_cable.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] x-cable.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] xp_logs2004-09-16 05:06 pm

Nathan and Moira, backdated to Thursday evening

Backdated to Thursday evening. Before the Askani class and after his Thursday session with Jack, Nathan retreats back to the suite to catch his breath. He and Moira discuss the fact that it's the month-anniversary of her kidnapping and his recapture by Mistra. They manage to get off that topic and onto the subject of plans for Christmas, and Nathan asks her a very significant question. (Not, still not that one. Yet.)



Ignoring the hermit crabs, the loudly cooing Bella, and even the Scotswoman currently engrossed in whatever it was she was reading, Nathan walked right through the living room of the suite and into the bedroom. He kicked his shoes off and sprawled on the bed with a sigh.

"Shit," he muttered after a moment, squeezing his eyes shut. The session with Jack had been more exhausting than he'd expected, and he really hadn't been prepared for that today. Should have been, but hadn't.

Moira, bent over three books and two notepads that were sprawled across the coffee table, blinked as Nathan walked through the room and collapsed on the bed. "Love?" Shoving everything aside, she climbed to her feet, grimacing when her body protested. It felt like she'd been on her feet all day. Padding over, stepping over a few boxes full of small crabs, she followed him into the room.

"'ey, ye okay?" she asked, bending over him as she reached the side of the bed.

He cracked an eye open, smiling up at her a bit wanly. "I hate Jack. He's an evil, evil man."

A smile crossed her face as she sat next to him. "O' course 'e is, tha's why I recommended 'im ta ye."

He shifted over to give her more room, holding onto the smile even when it turned pained on him. "He was upset with me today."

"Why?"

Nathan took a deep breath, then let it out again. "I think he thinks I'm trying too hard again." Jack was getting a lot better at guarding his thoughts - Nathan suspected he'd consulted with Charles on the subject - but stuff still slipped through.

"Whatever would give 'im tha' idea?" Moira asked gently and reached over to grab his hand.

Nathan snorted. "I don't know... that I was in a good mood when I walked in? Apparently I'm not allowed to do that." His expression went a bit bleak. "Didn't last, anyway."

With her free hand she whacked him in the shoulder. "Yer allowed ta be in a good mood. In fact, I rather enjoy it when yer in a good mood." With a sigh, Moira swung her leg over Nathan so that she was perched on his legs and looking down at him. "Yer stressed." It wasn't a question.

"When am I not stressed, love?" Nathan asked wryly. "But you know what today is, right?"

"Aye, I know. Ye've been leakin' down th' link even if I 'ad forgotten." Another slight whack on his shoulder. "Dinnae give me tha' guilty face o' yers, Nathan."

"A whole month," he said after a moment, looking up at her with a ghost of a smile. "Seems kind of surreal."

"It does at tha'. Everythin's movin' so fast." Moira smiled down. "Some for th' better but 'tis jus'...I'm still gettin' used ta thin's, I guess. Time seemed ta crawl by on Muir, for th' most part."

"How has it been for you?" he asked quietly. "Today... thinking about where you were a month ago." Tied to a chair in that warehouse, hurt and helpless... he knew how much that had affected her.

A thoughtful expression crossed her face. "I think I may 'ave worked meself 'arder today than normal," Moira finally admitted. "If I do thin's, me mind doesnae wander back. But yer right, jus' verra surreal. Been a might jumpier today than normal...dinnae sleep well last night."

"I did notice that," Nathan confessed wryly, tugging on her hand. She shifted around, settling down beside him, and he slipped an arm around her, holding her close. "So that's what happened," he went on more quietly. "Jack brought that up. Things sort of went downhill from there."

Moira snuggled closer and felt her body relax, or at least start to. "Jack's good at pushin' yer buttons," she murmured. "When 'e needs ta, anyway. An' I'm sorry if'n I kept ye up last night."

"I was already up," Nathan said wryly. "On and off, at least... as good a mood as I was trying to be in today, I knew what today was." He counted on his fingers. "Today was the warehouse. Tomorrow morning, Calgary. Tomorrow night..." He trailed off, swallowing hard, his hand clenching almost involuntarily. "It all comes back to that, you know," he said, his voice low and rough with pain. "Which makes me feel kind of selfish. I should be more... fixated on what happened to you, or what I nearly did to Charles, or the fight with Pete. But it all comes back to the reconditioning."

"In all 'onesty, tha' _was_ th' worst part 'bout it. I was rescued, Charles wasnae shot an' Pete wasnae 'urt. Much. But ye...werenae able ta get out o' tha'." Her free hand reached up to trace his jaw and she sighed. "Whole thin' was completely 'orrid."

"It's all come back, you know," he murmured, troubled. "I didn't think it would, with all the drugs... but there aren't even any missing pieces anymore. Even from that night." She pushed herself up, leaning over him, and he stared up at her, into eyes filled with love and compassion, and didn't blink, or turn away from the link for an instant. "It was so... cruel," he whispered almost helpessly. "What they put in my head. They knew exactly what would just... shatter me, and they used it." And that had been before they'd even touched the link.

"They're gone," Moira said, firmly, not letting go of his hand for a second. "They'll never touch ye again. They put ye through so much, ever since th' beginning. Ye know, ye really are one o' th' strongest people I know." She waited for his snort and didn't have to wait long. "I'm serious, Nathan. So much an' yet ye've bounced back. Aye, ye've got a ways ta go but, love, look at where ye are now."

"Jack asked me a funny question today," he said after a moment, knowing she'd sense his train of thought and wouldn't accuse him of changing the subject. "He asked me where I thought I'd learned how to care about people."

"Did ye 'ave an answer for 'im?"

Nathan shook his head a little, without lifting it from the pillow. "I really don't know," he said quietly. "You'd think, with my background... I certainly didn't have any sort of normal family life even as a child."

Moira shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe tha's why. Some people move away from wha' they grew up wit', especially if'n 'tis bad. People from rough, nasty family backgrounds turn out ta be th' best mum or da. Some jus' continue th' cycle, though." Leaning down, she kissed him on the cheek. "An' ye arenae th' last one."

"I guess I just got thinking about who I am now," Nathan said after a moment, smiling a bit at the kiss. "You'd think freedom would be easier than this." He reached up, stroked the hair back away from her face. "But then, I guess the important things aren't supposed to be easy, are they? That's the cliche, at least." A faint, wry smile tugged at his lips. "Which sort of scares me a bit, Moira, because all of the obstacles we've faced aside, it is so very easy to love you."

A faint flush crossed her face at that, especially with the link gently pulsing in her mind, and she smiled back at him. "Maybe 'tis because we spent seven years bein' stubborn, bloody fools tha' it jus' made all this so much easier."

"Come here," he said, tugging her back down. She laid down beside him again, resting her head on his shoulder. "This makes it all worth it, you know," he murmured. "All of it. Just to be here with you."

"It does," she responded, enjoying the warmth from his body. "All th' stress an' worries go away."

Nathan stared up at the ceiling. "I was thinking..." he said quietly. "About Christmas. School stops for a couple of weeks, right?"

"Nay certain 'ow lon' but, aye, it does. Wha's yer thought?"

"What about going back to Muir for the holiday?" he asked a bit tentatively.

Moira perked up instantly at the thought. "Really?" she asked, trying not to sound like all she wanted to do was squeal and shriek at the top of her lungs.

Nathan raised an eyebrow, then poked her. "No," he said humorously. "I was just yanking your chain... of course 'really', Moira." She made a noise that was unmistakably a giggle, and he smiled. "I think we owe each other another mistletoe moment, don't you? And several dances." And quiet nights spent in front of the fire, snowed in. Chess games and stargazing and just being alone together...

Grinning, she plopped her head on his shoulder. "Sounds lovely." And it did. They had their time here and she wouldn't give it up for the world. But she missed Muir and she missed being on Muir with Nathan. There was nothing much better than a night stargazing in winter and returning to the fireplace to defrost.

"So, we'll be home for Christmas?" Nathan asked with a chuckle for his own choice of words.

Moira poked him for the pun.

At the back of his mind, he started to think about some of the things he hoped would have happened by then, and couldn't help another smile. "Silver or gold?" he queried lightly.

"Hmm?"

"Silver or gold?" he persisted.

"It depends," Moira responded, sticking out her tongue at him. "Why?"

"On you," he said, his lips twitching as he felt her poking down the link, trying to find the answer to her question. "And don't peek. On you, silver or gold?"

She pouted. Deeply. "Silver?"

"I thought so," Nathan said contentedly, and then grinned at her. "Don't stick your lip out at me. What, you really want me to spoil the surprise?"

Ooo, surprises. "Maybe...actually, nay, I like surprises. It'll jus' drive me insane."

"Well," he murmured, shifting around, which made her do the same, until they were lying on their sides, facing each other. "You could always punish me for being sneaky?" He grinned shamelessly, kissing her.

Moira waited until after he finished the kiss to laugh at him. "Yer a verra odd person, ye realize this, right?"

"You keep saying that to me. I'm going to get a complex," he said with a perfectly straight face.

"But I love ye anyway."

"That's very reassuring." He kissed her again, on the forehead this time, then wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close with a sigh. Smart-ass comments aside, he wasn't really feeling up to putting his money where his mouth was.

"We're bot' exhausted," she commented, eyes closing a little.

"Old is the world, dear."

"We're ta good lookin' ta be old," Moira protested, sounding a little more sleepy than she had a few minutes ago.

"Damned straight," Nathan said firmly. "We're just resting our eyes."

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