Log [Miles & Kurt, with a brief appearance by Alison]

[x-dazzler.livejournal.com]

Sunday evening. Miles and Kurt discuss why bad people do the things they do and some details about Miles' previous life comes to light.

But Miles knows better than to think it is always only like that.

The day after the disastrous events of the blood drive, Kurt was spending the evening in his rooms as usual.  He suspected a lot of people might need a listening ear still, but for now, he would only be available to people who came to him.

The knock on the door was low but persistent, and it opened quickly after Kurt called out a greeting. Miles sidled inside, closing it behind him firmly before walking slowly towards the blue skinned mutant, a far cry from his usual fast pace, as though he didn't have time to be slow with all the things he needed to catch up on.

Kurt blinked, slightly surprised by the identity of his visitor, then offered the boy a friendly smile.  "Hello, Miles.  What can I do for you?"

"Kurt was on the roof," the little boy said, very carefully, sitting down on the floor near Kurt. His expression was utterly devoid of expression, brow furrowed as though doing far too much thinking for a seven year old.

Kurt nodded, not needing to ask for further explanation.  "Yes, I was."  He waited for Miles to think out the rest of what he wanted to say, since there was clearly more.

"Miles knows there are people who like to hurt others. Just because they can. Or because they hurt inside and don't know what else to do." The little boy sighed heavily, drawing up his knees and wrapping his arms around his legs. "Miles just wishes he could understand why."

Kurt smiled sadly.  "I think we all wish that, Miles.  All I can tell you is that the man had something very broken in his head, that made him do this."

"Like the man at the freakshow. Miles knows." It was, perhaps, the first time that the little boy did not give the name of someone he knew. "Miles thinks it is... easy to say that. That people hurt others because something makes them do it. But Miles knows better than to think it is always only like that."

A flash of pain crossed Kurt's face for a moment - Miles shouldn't know better, not yet - and he held his arms out to the boy.  "Come here, Miles.  You are right, it is not always because they are ill.  Some people... some people are bad, but you knew that."

Picking himself up Miles crossed the distance without a sound, reaching up for Kurt with a small, tired sigh. "Miles knows it was silly, but Miles was still hoping the bad people would stay away for a while longer."

Kurt lifted the boy into his lap, flicking his tail forward and around him.  It wrapped all the way around the small body, and Kurt hoped it provided some kind of comfort or security.  "Not silly at all, Miles.  I am sure your mother was hoping the same thing, as we all were."

"Mama was very sad." Miles' voice wavered over that and he clung to Kurt a bit tighter. "Miles hugged her a lot and Doug is going to be all right, but-" He took deep breath, frowning. "Miles is very upset with Doug."

Kurt paused before answering, choosing his words carefully.  "Doug thought he was doing the best thing.  You know that, do you not, Miles?  He was unwise in his actions, and there were far better courses he could have taken, but he believed what he did would bring the best outcome."

"Doug was a stupidhead," was the flat response. "Miles will not yell at Doug because everyone else will and someone will have to hug Doug instead. But Doug was still a stupidhead."

Kurt nodded seriously.  "Yes, he was a... stupidhead.  But we have to remember, he did what he did because he believed Rahne would die if he did not.  He was, probably, not thinking as clearly as he could have been, or he would have known that Nathan alone could have stopped this.  I am glad you will not yell at him."

"Miles thinks there are many people who could have helped. Miles thinks Doug forgot about that and was too busy thinking there was nothing else to do to remember that we are a family." Miles stopped, shaking his head. "But Miles knows the others will tell Doug this. So Miles will not repeat it too."

"Yes, many people could have helped.  What I meant was that Nathan could have prevented it from being a problem by himself - simply by scanning the area and then breaking the gun telekinetically before it could be fired.  And you are very sensible, Miles - Doug will be hearing these things from many people, if I am any judge."

"Yes." Another little boy sigh. "Miles feels sorry for the bad people. But Miles thinks it is a good thing that some can stop them from doing bad things." He remembered where he had been the last year only too well. "Miles wonders how Carmelita is, sometimes. She was nice."

Kurt looked curious.  "Who is Carmelita, Miles?"

"Carmelita was the bearded lady!" For the first time since he'd entered the room, Miles smiled. "Carmelita would sneak some food to Miles sometimes, and even let him out of the cage. Miles never ran because running would have put Carmelita in very bad trouble."

Kurt smiled softly.  "She does sound like a good person.  And it was good of you to think of her, and not run away."

"He would have killed Carmelita." The tone was matter of fact, accompanied by a small shrug. "Miles did not want that. We all knew that Carmelita was in danger for being nice to us."

Kurt nodded.  The sense of solidarity was familiar from his own days in the circus, but with an altogether darker edge to it... He frowned and asked carefully, "Who would have killed her, Miles?"

"Him. The one who owned-" the barest of hesitations was still there, although Miles did not fall into habit and instead continued smoothly, "the freak show. He was a very bad man. Miles never wants to see him again."

"And you will not have to.  He cannot reach you now - you are safe, here, with us.  And if he should come for you, he would regret his foolishness."

"But he can get others like Miles." The words were soft and sad sounding, but Miles looked up at Kurt with a far steadier expression as he went on. "Mama said they were looking for him. And that he would be stopped."

Kurt's gaze didn't waver as he looked back into the boy's eyes.  "She was right.  We will find him, Miles.  And when we do, we will find good homes for the children you knew there, and stop him ever taking another child as he did you."

Miles would have answered that no one had wanted any of them in the first place, which was why they'd ended up there in the first place. But he was starting to understand it might not be that simple, now. That they had all been lied to - even though he still sometimes wondered if this new life of his was just a dream and he might one day wake up in the cage again. "All right," he answered in a whisper.

~*~

Miles had told her he was going to talk to Kurt, a serious expression on his face before he'd left. She'd given it time, not wanting to interrupt despite the urge to keep him in her sight at all times - that just wasn't possible, as hard as it was to deal with, sometimes. Still, it had been a while now and it was getting late besides, far past the time little boys should have been in bed.

Kurt sat holding Miles with his arms and tail wrapped around the clearly-tired boy until he started to drift into sleep.  A few minutes after that, he heard another knock on the door and called out a quiet "It's open", not moving so as not to disturb Miles and having a good idea who it would be anyway.

"Hey," she whispered softly in return, moving silently into the room, smiling a bit at the sight. Miles was fast asleep, which was a comforting sight - she wasn't holding out on a lack of nightmares tonight, although she couldn't help but hope. "Thanks for keeping an eye on him."

Kurt unwrapped his tail carefully, in preparation for giving Miles back to Alison.  "He came to me with questions, I think you should know.  I answered them as best I could, but he may still want to know more."

"I know." She shook her head tiredly. "Some are harder to answer than others... and some you just can't explain. He knows so much already." Alison reached out to gather him into her arms, noting yet again how small he was for his age.

Kurt nodded sadly, relinquishing Miles to Alison, and observed, "He knows more than any boy his age really should.  One of the first things he said to me after coming in was that he knows better than to think people do bad things because they are ill."

She shifted Miles gently, eliciting a low murmur from him. His arms wrapped around her neck as he settled back into sleep and she kissed his forehead lightly, eyes brimming with tears. "I know." Just as she knew there was much more that they didn't know about Miles' life, still. "Thank you, Kurt," she whispered again. "I'll go tuck him in, now."

Kurt nodded.  "Sleep well, Alison."

She gave him one last, small smile before leaving the room, the door closing behind her slowly.