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xp_logs2007-02-18 08:09 pm
x-skin.livejournal.com) wrote in xp_logs2007-02-18 08:09 pm
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Kaiten: While The Dust Clears
Angelo manages to catch Domino awake, and gets to talk to her a little about what happened when the bomb went off. Afterwards, he catches up with Pete and gets a little perspective. Back at the villa, Joel reappears and adds his two cents' worth.
Domino looked about sixteen years old, asleep. A very battered sixteen. Both her legs and one arm were in traction, and there were entirely too many tubes everywhere. It was easier to look at her now than it had been before, all the same. At least now there was no blood where it didn't belong. Angelo wasn't going to wake her, either, when he slipped into the room. He'd just... sit here and wait for her to wake up on her own.
It was fifteen minutes or so before that happened. "... hi." Her voice was breathy, almost inaudible. Nathan had said something about her having more broken ribs than intact ones, and that really, she didn't need to be trying to break his record. She hadn't laughed, of course.
He'd been listening for it, though, even sitting there head bent as he was, and he looked up instantly, offering a faint smile. "Hey there."
"How's... the head?" He got a tiny smile in return, although she didn't seem to be able to quite focus on him. Her head injury had been considerably more serious than his, to the point where the doctors had been rather surprised that she'd regained consciousness as soon as she had.
He wasn't expecting complete focus, not considering everything, and he just scooted his chair closer and reached for her hand. "A lot better - just needed the one night. How're you?"
"Okay. S'long as I don't... move. Or breathe." Her eyes closed again, but in pain, not in tiredness. "Nate was here. Told me about... everyone."
"I thought he might have," Angelo said quietly. "They didn't want to keep that from you, not now you're gettin' better."
"Don't really remember..." There was a definite hitch to her breathing, the broken ribs most likely. "'Manda was here, too... was she? Wasn't really awake."
"Yeah, she's been here," he said with a nod. "An' don't worry about rememberin'... not yet. Got a ways to go yet."
Her hand tightened on his a little, although her eyes stayed closed. He held her hand tight and looked carefully at her face. If she was getting upset... but he couldn't see any sign of it beyond that. So, carefully, he asked, "How much d'you remember about... what happened?"
"Bomb went off?" It did sound like a question, like she wasn't quite sure.
"Yeah. But... anythin' from before that?"
"Uyghur. Vas's program. Wouldn't translate it." Her eyes opened again, and she gazed up at him, the confusion obvious.
He squeezed her hand reassuringly. "It's okay. I was thinkin' of somethin' in between those... you pretty much saved my life, Dom."
She actually raised an eyebrow at him. The question was implicit.
"Pushed me out of the way," he elaborated. "Into the stairwell. An' the stairs mostly survived it... somehow." He had his suspicions as to that, but that was for him and her.
"Don't remember." It sounded almost apologetic, but she summoned up that tiny smile again. "But... good."
"I think..." he said slowly, watching her face still. "I think... maybe the stairs survived because you wanted them to. Because I was there an' you knew I was." It sounded so egotistical, put like that. That she'd have saved him, out of everyone. But her powers couldn't keep up a whole bombed building, and... why else had the blast stopped at the stairwells?
Domino stared up at him for a long moment. "Funny," was her barely audible reply. "Not... hah-hah. Peculiar."
"I just can't figure out why else they did," he said helplessly. "I mean, thinkin' about it... there wasn't anythin' that should've protected them. An' if it was... I figured you'd want to know."
"Ask... Nate?" She was clearly trying to focus, to think through it. "He knows... blast patterns." Her eyes were too bright suddenly, and she looked away. "Nice... to think that, though. That I helped someone..."
He nodded. "That's why I told you. 'Cause I really think you did." And he - and everyone else, he was prepared to bet - would keep telling her so even if what Nathan had to say was against it. "I'll talk to him, though."
"Okay." Her hand tightened on his again, but her eyes closed, and her breathing, though still labored, grew a little deeper.
"You need to get back to sleep," he said softly. "Rest up good, then you can get out of here."
--
Angelo left Domino sleeping, being watched over by Theo. There was someone he figured he should stop putting off talking to.
He found Pete in the nearest waiting room to where Dom was, hunched over his laptop.
"Hey."
Pete glanced up distractedly, and held up a hand.
"Alright squire? Give me one second to finish this thought..."
Pete turned back to his laptop, and continued typing for another minute or so, before flipping it shut, and looking back up.
"Sorry about that. Just getting a few leads followed up based on what's turned up so far."
He stretched, his back popping audibly.
"How're you doing, anyway?"
"Nothin' I can complain about," was the easiest answer, as Angelo settled into another chair. "Not really. You?"
Pete shrugged. "Alright. It ain't like we hadn't talked about the possibility of something like this happening to one of us. There's nothing I can do to help her right now, so I'm trying to take me mind off it by doing something useful."
That got a faint smile and a nod. "She's gonna be okay, so... probably not a bad plan. What're you workin' on?"
"I called my mate Yossi before I left New York. He's an analyst for Mossad, and he's making sure I get a copy of everything the Israelis turn up. It's not much so far, but I'm just passing it back with me own notes. The lab reports on the explosives are taking longer than I'd like though - that's usually the best place to start." He frowned a little.
Angelo looked sideways at him. "Does that mean anythin'? Or just that they're busy?"
Pete shrugged.
"Don't know. Might just mean they're busy. Not like there's a shortage of explosions for them to investigate in this part of the world. But yeah, it makes me think that there might be something odd there, so I've got Doug looking for people with a grudge against Elpis who might have the skills or connections to use something unusual."
There wasn't any trace of a smile now, not that it had lasted more than a few seconds when it appeared. "We haven't been in business that long. I didn't think we'd managed to piss anybody off enough to do this."
Pete sighed. "Yeah I know. I don't think you were specifically targeted - the other bombings make it look like some bunch of fucks with a political agenda to push, and if that's the case, then someone'll stand up soon enough. But until something like that happens, we're just clutching at fucking straws."
He smiled ruefully.
"I don't do very well with sitting about doing nothing, y'know?"
"Yeah," Angelo agreed. "Not that anybody's lettin' me do much of anythin' else right now. Seem to all think I still need my rest." There was a bitter edge to the last.
"Honestly, there's fuck all most of us can do right now anyway."
He paused, then smiled just slightly. "Look, I'd imagine you're going to want to be involved in getting the cunts that did this, whatever form that takes. You might as well take the chance to rest up now while you've got it."
"I guess," he allowed reluctantly. "Just wish there was more I could do than sit around now."
Pete looked his straight in the eye. "Mate, you already did more than your share for now. You kept her alive."
Angelo didn't look away, but he did shift a little uncomfortably. One day, he'd learn to just take the praise for things like this, but he hadn't yet. "She gave us all warnin' before it happened. An' she pushed me out of the way, best she could. Just repayin' the favour."
"Yeah, well, I'm just saying: you don't need to feel like you're not pulling your weight, you know? You start thinking it's your job to do everything, you're going to wind up like Nate."
That got a quick rueful laugh. "Yeah, it's not the first time I heard that one. Guess I just got out of the habit of time off a bit."
"Yeah, well, take it from me: it ain't a healthy habit to break. Even I take a break now and again. Not often enough, maybe..." Pete trailed off.
"Hey, I do sometimes. Weekends, anyway. When I don't have college homework... okay, maybe not so often."
Pete gave him a look. "I know I don't have much of a leg to stand on in this regard, but y'know, I'm sitting here now thinking about the fact that in the last year, I've seen Dom for a few days here, and a night there, when we could find the time around everything else we both do. Seriously, mate, make sure you take the time..."
"...yeah," Angelo said quietly after a minute. "They say stuff like this gives you perspective... guess it really, really does. I'll be makin' the time for people. When we get to bring her home."
--
Angelo had retreated to his room as soon as they got back to the house, and locked the door. Theo had insisted on carrying him in, again, which was a pretty good sign that the fussing over him wasn't going to stop yet, and he wasn't in the mood. Peace and quiet, for just a few hours, that was what he needed, then he'd let them back in.
...He missed Joyita.
Most of the house's inhabitants would have left him to that, his mother included. But the knock that came at the door was insistent, if soft. When Angelo didn't answer immediately, Joel Rollins proceeded to demonstrate the fact that he was indeed a persistent man, and knocked again.
"Angelo? It's Joel, are you in?"
He looked up at that, blinking, and considered pretending he wasn't there. But then, it was Joel. He liked Joel, and if the older man had taken the trouble to come looking for him... With a sigh, he got up to unlock and open the door, then stood aside to clear the way.
Joel was looking more than a little tired himself; flying back and forth and sleeping only on planes did that. "How are you?" he asked simply as he stepped in.
"Not too bad," he said with a faint shrug, moving away to drop into a chair and gesturing to the other by way of invitation. "Head doesn't hurt anymore, anyway."
"That's good," Joel said, sinking into a chair like a man who hadn't sat down in a week. "I hope you're getting plenty of rest, though. Concussions can be tricky." Oddly, he said it like someone who knew, rather than as a platitude.
"Trust me, I'll be gettin' all the rest I can handle." He shot a wry look at the door. "An' then some."
"They do tend to be rather protective, don't they? Mina scolded me all the way down the hall for looking like I hadn't been sleeping, and I swear that alarmingly dour child of hers was nodding in agreement."
"Theo carried me in from the car," Angelo said dryly, though not as irritated as he might have been. It was Theo, after all. "Twice."
"I suspect it's frustration. He could be picking worse ways to express it," Joel said with a sigh and a tolerant smile. He regarded Angelo for a long moment, keenly, and went on a bit hesitantly. "Angelo, did I ever tell you about what happened to me in Uganda?"
"...no," came the answer after a moment's thought. "Don't think you did."
"I was working with a relief agency trying to alleviate conditions in the protected villages in Uganda. This was after the Lord's Resistance Army started to treat the population as enemies, rather than potential supporters. In that situation," Joel went on quietly, "you had children, abducted from the area and turned into soldiers, actually committing the atrocities that caused the establishment of the protected villages in the first place. It was a very ambiguous situation."
Angelo listened intently, but silently, just nodding when Joel paused. He hadn't had a lot to say, of late.
"The village we were in was attacked, one night. There were... ten of us, working there, from my agency. The other nine were killed," Joel said very simply. "I was knocked out when one of the child soldiers threw a grenade into the hut where I was sleeping - it collapsed on top of me, and they never dug through the debris. They were too busy killing everyone else in the village."
Angelo flinched visibly at that, drawing in on himself in his chair. "...no, you never did tell me that story before," he said quietly.
"I managed to drag myself out of the debris, hours later. I was actually fairly badly hurt... that's where I got the limp." Joel's eyes were very distant for a moment. "It's not... an image that's ever going to fade, what I saw when I did. Several months of therapy immediately afterwards taught me that I needed to accept that. But at the time," he went on, more steadily, "it was... almost unbelievably hard. There were my friends, my coworkers, lying dead beside the people we had been trying to help. And they had all died in such horrific ways."
"I... didn't see anythin' that bad," Angelo said slowly. "I mean, there was Dom, but I wasn't lookin' at anythin' but her. An' on the way out... I don't remember it that well." This was mostly true, thanks to the concussion and the shock of the time.
"Angelo.... I didn't tell you that to try and get you to say 'Well, my situation wasn't that bad'," Joel said more gently. "I just want you to know that I understand. I understand the shock of it, when it's this sudden, and the helplessness. I also understand what it's like to be the one who walks away."
"...I know," he said tiredly, studying his hands like he'd never seen them before. At least one of the cuts there might scar, he knew, and he looked at it for a moment before he looked back up at Joel. "But I can't... think about it."
"You can't think about it right now," Joel corrected him, just as gently. "There will be a time when you can. And a time when you have to."
"Even if I don't ever want to?"
"Especially if you don't want to."
He sat back with a sigh. "Then I... guess I will. Someday." He'd be putting it off as long as possible, though, if he had any say in it. Which he probably didn't.
"Someday. Not today - I'm not trying to pressure you here, Angelo. But the right time will come," Joel went on reassuringly. "You'll see it, when it does. With me, it was... I wasn't sleeping, was arguing with my wife, not being a good father at all to the kids. I came to the point where I understood that if I didn't want that to be the pattern of my life for the rest of my life, I had to do something about it."
"I... haven't been watchin' the TV," Angelo admitted, and it seemed relevant to the conversation to him, at least. "But I guess... they're not gonna be talkin' about this forever. An' when they stop... then I can pick up the newsfeeds again. Do my job. So maybe it's not the time yet."
Domino looked about sixteen years old, asleep. A very battered sixteen. Both her legs and one arm were in traction, and there were entirely too many tubes everywhere. It was easier to look at her now than it had been before, all the same. At least now there was no blood where it didn't belong. Angelo wasn't going to wake her, either, when he slipped into the room. He'd just... sit here and wait for her to wake up on her own.
It was fifteen minutes or so before that happened. "... hi." Her voice was breathy, almost inaudible. Nathan had said something about her having more broken ribs than intact ones, and that really, she didn't need to be trying to break his record. She hadn't laughed, of course.
He'd been listening for it, though, even sitting there head bent as he was, and he looked up instantly, offering a faint smile. "Hey there."
"How's... the head?" He got a tiny smile in return, although she didn't seem to be able to quite focus on him. Her head injury had been considerably more serious than his, to the point where the doctors had been rather surprised that she'd regained consciousness as soon as she had.
He wasn't expecting complete focus, not considering everything, and he just scooted his chair closer and reached for her hand. "A lot better - just needed the one night. How're you?"
"Okay. S'long as I don't... move. Or breathe." Her eyes closed again, but in pain, not in tiredness. "Nate was here. Told me about... everyone."
"I thought he might have," Angelo said quietly. "They didn't want to keep that from you, not now you're gettin' better."
"Don't really remember..." There was a definite hitch to her breathing, the broken ribs most likely. "'Manda was here, too... was she? Wasn't really awake."
"Yeah, she's been here," he said with a nod. "An' don't worry about rememberin'... not yet. Got a ways to go yet."
Her hand tightened on his a little, although her eyes stayed closed. He held her hand tight and looked carefully at her face. If she was getting upset... but he couldn't see any sign of it beyond that. So, carefully, he asked, "How much d'you remember about... what happened?"
"Bomb went off?" It did sound like a question, like she wasn't quite sure.
"Yeah. But... anythin' from before that?"
"Uyghur. Vas's program. Wouldn't translate it." Her eyes opened again, and she gazed up at him, the confusion obvious.
He squeezed her hand reassuringly. "It's okay. I was thinkin' of somethin' in between those... you pretty much saved my life, Dom."
She actually raised an eyebrow at him. The question was implicit.
"Pushed me out of the way," he elaborated. "Into the stairwell. An' the stairs mostly survived it... somehow." He had his suspicions as to that, but that was for him and her.
"Don't remember." It sounded almost apologetic, but she summoned up that tiny smile again. "But... good."
"I think..." he said slowly, watching her face still. "I think... maybe the stairs survived because you wanted them to. Because I was there an' you knew I was." It sounded so egotistical, put like that. That she'd have saved him, out of everyone. But her powers couldn't keep up a whole bombed building, and... why else had the blast stopped at the stairwells?
Domino stared up at him for a long moment. "Funny," was her barely audible reply. "Not... hah-hah. Peculiar."
"I just can't figure out why else they did," he said helplessly. "I mean, thinkin' about it... there wasn't anythin' that should've protected them. An' if it was... I figured you'd want to know."
"Ask... Nate?" She was clearly trying to focus, to think through it. "He knows... blast patterns." Her eyes were too bright suddenly, and she looked away. "Nice... to think that, though. That I helped someone..."
He nodded. "That's why I told you. 'Cause I really think you did." And he - and everyone else, he was prepared to bet - would keep telling her so even if what Nathan had to say was against it. "I'll talk to him, though."
"Okay." Her hand tightened on his again, but her eyes closed, and her breathing, though still labored, grew a little deeper.
"You need to get back to sleep," he said softly. "Rest up good, then you can get out of here."
--
Angelo left Domino sleeping, being watched over by Theo. There was someone he figured he should stop putting off talking to.
He found Pete in the nearest waiting room to where Dom was, hunched over his laptop.
"Hey."
Pete glanced up distractedly, and held up a hand.
"Alright squire? Give me one second to finish this thought..."
Pete turned back to his laptop, and continued typing for another minute or so, before flipping it shut, and looking back up.
"Sorry about that. Just getting a few leads followed up based on what's turned up so far."
He stretched, his back popping audibly.
"How're you doing, anyway?"
"Nothin' I can complain about," was the easiest answer, as Angelo settled into another chair. "Not really. You?"
Pete shrugged. "Alright. It ain't like we hadn't talked about the possibility of something like this happening to one of us. There's nothing I can do to help her right now, so I'm trying to take me mind off it by doing something useful."
That got a faint smile and a nod. "She's gonna be okay, so... probably not a bad plan. What're you workin' on?"
"I called my mate Yossi before I left New York. He's an analyst for Mossad, and he's making sure I get a copy of everything the Israelis turn up. It's not much so far, but I'm just passing it back with me own notes. The lab reports on the explosives are taking longer than I'd like though - that's usually the best place to start." He frowned a little.
Angelo looked sideways at him. "Does that mean anythin'? Or just that they're busy?"
Pete shrugged.
"Don't know. Might just mean they're busy. Not like there's a shortage of explosions for them to investigate in this part of the world. But yeah, it makes me think that there might be something odd there, so I've got Doug looking for people with a grudge against Elpis who might have the skills or connections to use something unusual."
There wasn't any trace of a smile now, not that it had lasted more than a few seconds when it appeared. "We haven't been in business that long. I didn't think we'd managed to piss anybody off enough to do this."
Pete sighed. "Yeah I know. I don't think you were specifically targeted - the other bombings make it look like some bunch of fucks with a political agenda to push, and if that's the case, then someone'll stand up soon enough. But until something like that happens, we're just clutching at fucking straws."
He smiled ruefully.
"I don't do very well with sitting about doing nothing, y'know?"
"Yeah," Angelo agreed. "Not that anybody's lettin' me do much of anythin' else right now. Seem to all think I still need my rest." There was a bitter edge to the last.
"Honestly, there's fuck all most of us can do right now anyway."
He paused, then smiled just slightly. "Look, I'd imagine you're going to want to be involved in getting the cunts that did this, whatever form that takes. You might as well take the chance to rest up now while you've got it."
"I guess," he allowed reluctantly. "Just wish there was more I could do than sit around now."
Pete looked his straight in the eye. "Mate, you already did more than your share for now. You kept her alive."
Angelo didn't look away, but he did shift a little uncomfortably. One day, he'd learn to just take the praise for things like this, but he hadn't yet. "She gave us all warnin' before it happened. An' she pushed me out of the way, best she could. Just repayin' the favour."
"Yeah, well, I'm just saying: you don't need to feel like you're not pulling your weight, you know? You start thinking it's your job to do everything, you're going to wind up like Nate."
That got a quick rueful laugh. "Yeah, it's not the first time I heard that one. Guess I just got out of the habit of time off a bit."
"Yeah, well, take it from me: it ain't a healthy habit to break. Even I take a break now and again. Not often enough, maybe..." Pete trailed off.
"Hey, I do sometimes. Weekends, anyway. When I don't have college homework... okay, maybe not so often."
Pete gave him a look. "I know I don't have much of a leg to stand on in this regard, but y'know, I'm sitting here now thinking about the fact that in the last year, I've seen Dom for a few days here, and a night there, when we could find the time around everything else we both do. Seriously, mate, make sure you take the time..."
"...yeah," Angelo said quietly after a minute. "They say stuff like this gives you perspective... guess it really, really does. I'll be makin' the time for people. When we get to bring her home."
--
Angelo had retreated to his room as soon as they got back to the house, and locked the door. Theo had insisted on carrying him in, again, which was a pretty good sign that the fussing over him wasn't going to stop yet, and he wasn't in the mood. Peace and quiet, for just a few hours, that was what he needed, then he'd let them back in.
...He missed Joyita.
Most of the house's inhabitants would have left him to that, his mother included. But the knock that came at the door was insistent, if soft. When Angelo didn't answer immediately, Joel Rollins proceeded to demonstrate the fact that he was indeed a persistent man, and knocked again.
"Angelo? It's Joel, are you in?"
He looked up at that, blinking, and considered pretending he wasn't there. But then, it was Joel. He liked Joel, and if the older man had taken the trouble to come looking for him... With a sigh, he got up to unlock and open the door, then stood aside to clear the way.
Joel was looking more than a little tired himself; flying back and forth and sleeping only on planes did that. "How are you?" he asked simply as he stepped in.
"Not too bad," he said with a faint shrug, moving away to drop into a chair and gesturing to the other by way of invitation. "Head doesn't hurt anymore, anyway."
"That's good," Joel said, sinking into a chair like a man who hadn't sat down in a week. "I hope you're getting plenty of rest, though. Concussions can be tricky." Oddly, he said it like someone who knew, rather than as a platitude.
"Trust me, I'll be gettin' all the rest I can handle." He shot a wry look at the door. "An' then some."
"They do tend to be rather protective, don't they? Mina scolded me all the way down the hall for looking like I hadn't been sleeping, and I swear that alarmingly dour child of hers was nodding in agreement."
"Theo carried me in from the car," Angelo said dryly, though not as irritated as he might have been. It was Theo, after all. "Twice."
"I suspect it's frustration. He could be picking worse ways to express it," Joel said with a sigh and a tolerant smile. He regarded Angelo for a long moment, keenly, and went on a bit hesitantly. "Angelo, did I ever tell you about what happened to me in Uganda?"
"...no," came the answer after a moment's thought. "Don't think you did."
"I was working with a relief agency trying to alleviate conditions in the protected villages in Uganda. This was after the Lord's Resistance Army started to treat the population as enemies, rather than potential supporters. In that situation," Joel went on quietly, "you had children, abducted from the area and turned into soldiers, actually committing the atrocities that caused the establishment of the protected villages in the first place. It was a very ambiguous situation."
Angelo listened intently, but silently, just nodding when Joel paused. He hadn't had a lot to say, of late.
"The village we were in was attacked, one night. There were... ten of us, working there, from my agency. The other nine were killed," Joel said very simply. "I was knocked out when one of the child soldiers threw a grenade into the hut where I was sleeping - it collapsed on top of me, and they never dug through the debris. They were too busy killing everyone else in the village."
Angelo flinched visibly at that, drawing in on himself in his chair. "...no, you never did tell me that story before," he said quietly.
"I managed to drag myself out of the debris, hours later. I was actually fairly badly hurt... that's where I got the limp." Joel's eyes were very distant for a moment. "It's not... an image that's ever going to fade, what I saw when I did. Several months of therapy immediately afterwards taught me that I needed to accept that. But at the time," he went on, more steadily, "it was... almost unbelievably hard. There were my friends, my coworkers, lying dead beside the people we had been trying to help. And they had all died in such horrific ways."
"I... didn't see anythin' that bad," Angelo said slowly. "I mean, there was Dom, but I wasn't lookin' at anythin' but her. An' on the way out... I don't remember it that well." This was mostly true, thanks to the concussion and the shock of the time.
"Angelo.... I didn't tell you that to try and get you to say 'Well, my situation wasn't that bad'," Joel said more gently. "I just want you to know that I understand. I understand the shock of it, when it's this sudden, and the helplessness. I also understand what it's like to be the one who walks away."
"...I know," he said tiredly, studying his hands like he'd never seen them before. At least one of the cuts there might scar, he knew, and he looked at it for a moment before he looked back up at Joel. "But I can't... think about it."
"You can't think about it right now," Joel corrected him, just as gently. "There will be a time when you can. And a time when you have to."
"Even if I don't ever want to?"
"Especially if you don't want to."
He sat back with a sigh. "Then I... guess I will. Someday." He'd be putting it off as long as possible, though, if he had any say in it. Which he probably didn't.
"Someday. Not today - I'm not trying to pressure you here, Angelo. But the right time will come," Joel went on reassuringly. "You'll see it, when it does. With me, it was... I wasn't sleeping, was arguing with my wife, not being a good father at all to the kids. I came to the point where I understood that if I didn't want that to be the pattern of my life for the rest of my life, I had to do something about it."
"I... haven't been watchin' the TV," Angelo admitted, and it seemed relevant to the conversation to him, at least. "But I guess... they're not gonna be talkin' about this forever. An' when they stop... then I can pick up the newsfeeds again. Do my job. So maybe it's not the time yet."