Log: Dani & Jean - Crazy Psis!

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Set Friday during the whisking away from The Angst Zone. Dani and Jean take a break from the library to get Coffee! and chitchat. They discuss having mostly uncontrollable psi-powers and the world in general.



Rubbing the bridge of her nose in frustration, Dani glared at her math book convinced it was actually written in Greek. There was no way she was going to have everything in for her final and at this point she wasn't sure she cared. Manuel had been helping her and she'd made some progress on her own, but he had his own work to do too. At least the library was -quiet- in both thoughts and auditorily. There weren't many people around on a Friday afternoon. Dani was grateful.

"I promise, only the variables are written in Greek," Jean said quietly, coming up to sit in the empty chair next to Dani. "Need some help?"

"No..." Dani sighed, leaning back in her chair, "Manuel's been helping. I just need a break. I mean, from this, not from y'know..." she waved her hand around her head.

"Well, having provided the break from 'y'know'," Jean said, smiling faintly, "how about I give you a break from the math, too. Want to go get a snack. There's a coffee shop on the corner that has nice pastries."

"Coffee?" Dani repeated, wondering if Dr. Grey would let her have a cup. She wasn't a coffee fiend like Ms. Dane or even Manuel, but she liked a cup sometimes, even if Manuel insisted the coffee she drank was almost as bad as Dr. MacTaggerts. Especially when she was forbidden from having a lot of it.

"Decaf," Jean said firmly. "But they've got their entire selection available in decaf, if it's any consolation." She considered that, then shook her head. "Which, of course, it isn't, but it's still all your getting."

"I can settle for decaf," she declared, getting up from the table. She'd picked the table closest to the bathrooms on purpose and made her way there now. "I need to make room," she grinned apologetically, disappearing through the door.

Jean couldn't help but smile at that. As she waited she glanced over Dani's work - it might be frustrating, but the girl was doing fairly well from what Jean could see. She might not have Kitty or Forge's innate talent for maths but the work she had done was all correct, and the few errors there were Dani had caught for herself.

"Back," Dani announced her return to be polite, almost certain that Dr. Grey already knew she was there. "Chicken scratch, ain't it? Good thing we ain't graded on neatness."

Jean stood, heading for the door. "Come now, I'm a doctor. My handwriting is required to be illegible. Yours is nothing." She grinned at the girl, telling Scott with her still shaky projection that they were just going for coffee and would be back soon.

It was warming up quickly outside which always made Danielle happy. She liked the cold but she loved the hot. Even better, she saw that the cafe had outdoor seating!

"Know what you want?" Jean asked, stepping inside the cafe to order a tea for herself. The pastry spread was fairly impressive, and the coffee listing up on the wall was extensive.

"Yeah..." the choices were more overwhelming than the coffee shop she and Manuel had gone to. The sheer number of choices she had was one of the hardest things to adjust to. Placing her order with the cashier she stepped back to make room for others while she waited for her coffee. "Decaf, like you said."

Jean flashed her a smile, and ordered a tea, paying for both orders while they waited. "I know, it's a pain, but it won't be that much longer now."

"It's more than a pain," Dani took her coffee from the counter and headed back outside where there were fewer people. "Wasn't so bad a month ago, but now I can't wait for it to be over. Thanks for the coffee."

"You're welcome," Jean said, settling into a chair. "And yes, the third trimester is decidedly the hardest. But how are you doing, babies and unfortunate mental atmospheres aside?"

"That's about it...I don't think I get to have feelings outside those things right now," she answered honestly, enjoying her coffee. Hot, warm deliciousness. "It doesn't matter what happens to me when everyone gets upset because it's my fault I can't control my powers."

Jean's eyebrows rose at this declaration. "I would beg to differ, Dani. It matters very much what happens to you, and to Manuel, for all that he has control, and, when it comes to it, to me as well. None of us deserve to have other people's emotional problems forced on us, but we can't help it. That doesn't make it your fault."

"I was being sarcastic," she replied. She wasn't usually, but she had argued this exact same point with Manuel dozens of times and now she realized it was true. "It ain't right if Manuel uses his powers to control everyone and make them happy, I know that. But it ain't right that the exact same thing happens to us and it's our fault for not having better shields! There ain't a middle ground that I can see."

"It is not our fault," Jean said firmly. "A very unfortunate twist of fate, yes, but it's no one's fault."

Watching the people pass, Dani considered her response. "It seems that the other kids think it is."

"Which is unfair of them, if it's true, although I don't think it is. They have all had their own troubles with their powers, and to some extent they empathize, I think, although it's hard for the headblind to really understand."

Taking some deep breaths, Dani calmed down from the rant she was well on her way to having. Now was not the time or the place, especially with coffee. "Seems that way right now. Not normally, but now."

"I know," Jean said, nodding. "Everything always seems much, much worse when the world is pushing at you, particularly if you can't push back."

"So how do you do it?"

"The first step is to figure out what's bothering you - if it's the world and the people in it making things worse, or if there's a problem that you're having which is making all of them seem worse. After that, I get out and away. I don't like relying on my inhibitor and if I'm in the box then there are a lot of things I need to be doing that I can't. I take a lot walks on the far edge of the grounds," she admitted with a wry little smile. "It's harder for you, I know, with the baby."

"I've been inhibitor-dependent since I got here, or the box," Dani pointed out. Her lack of control was well documented in her file, "I do tai-chi a couple days a week and meditate. I used to drink valerian tea, but it's gross. They don't help enough."

"Part of that is the baby, though," Jean pointed out. "It's changed your biochemistry, which has strange effects on psi mutations. Have you considered discussing training exercises with Nathan and the Askani? I know they are training Manuel. My mutation has some empathic aspects, but my control right now is not up to helping you, I'm afraid. Although I could teach you some of the early methods I learned from Charles, if he hasn't already."

Nodding, Dani bit into her pastry getting gooey filling on her fingers, "I work with Mr. Dayspring as much as I can...but it ain't always easy to do when he's in the medlab and getting married. I talk to Dr. Samson though...which does help."

"Ah, yes. Nathan's schedule has been rather... interrupted of late, I admit. I'm glad to hear that Dr. Samson has helped, though. Many of the students seem to feel as though they haven't got anyone to talk to."

Rolling her eyes Dani wanted to laugh at the absurdity, but the older woman was right. A lot of students felt that way. "Is always someone if you want there to be," she said, finishing off her pastry, "Seems like everyone goes out of there way to be there for others here. But what do you do when you want to help someone, even if it's just by being a friend and not doing anything, and that person won't let you? Ain't like you just stop caring. I think people forget that." It's what she thought SOG had been about. People who cared who couldn't do anything.

"That is a question for the ages," Jean answered. "And one I don't really have an answer for. At some point you have to let people make their own mistakes and trust that they know you'll be there for them when they're done making them. Which is very, very difficult, I know."

Shaking her head, Dani tried to decide if that's what she needed to do or not. "Growing up, you did what the elders said...didn't matter if they were your parents or grandparents or someone elses. You did it. And you could go to any of them if you had a problem. And generally, they were right. Can't think if a time an elder gave bad advice to me."

"Not everyone was raised in a situation like that, though, Dani. Many of the students have trust issues, either with adults or in general, often because the things they were told to do by adults were not right. And, even when that's not the case, with teenagers... it's difficult. It's the age when a person most wants to be testing limits and boundaries, and themselves. If a student comes to one of us teachers, we will do everything we can to help, but there's a line where, if they're not willing to ask, there's little we can do."

"You say that like I ain't a teenager." Dani pointed out witha grin. Sometimes, she wondered and others she thought she wasn't even that old. "I ain't saying you should force a kid, but," she shrugged, helpless, "I dunno. Guess being there is all you can do if they ain't gonna listen."

"I say that as if you were a teenager who was willing to have this conversation in the first place," Jean said with an answering smile. She had finished off her tea, and Dani's pastry was mostly gone. "Did you want to continue the break, or are you about ready to face the math again? I could get another tea..."

Math. Right. "Almost forgot about that," Dani grinned, even as she was dreading going back, "But yeah. Gotta make the grades, ain't it? Besides, Manuel is probably wondering why I haven't bugged him for help in a while."

"Sorry to have to push you back to the grind, but we can't leave the boys on their own for too long. They'll get in trouble, I just know it." Jean set their dishes in the bucket left out for them, then smiled. "Let's go."