Amanda, Angelo - Sunday night
Sep. 4th, 2005 11:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xp_daytripper posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
xp_logsFollowing this exchange in Amanda's journal and this announcement by Scott about Nathan, Angelo comes by for movies and to exchange views on Nate's latest accident.
Quiet. Too bloody quiet. Amanda hadn't realised just how used she'd gotten to sharing her space until both Meggan and Marie-Ange were gone. Curled up on the couch, she re-read her reply to Angelo, and winced a little. Fuck, she sounded completely pathetic, begging for attention. Too much like the old Amanda. Then came the familiar knocking at the door that heralded Angelo's arrival, and she smiled despite herself. "Come in!" she called, voice a little rough and tired-sounding from the long hours of silently watching Tommy's bandaged form, chest rising and falling ever-so-slightly.
He pushed the door open and headed inside, one hand already reaching to take the key from around his neck. "Hey, little sis."
"Hey." Her face was solemn as she took the key from him. The experiment had had mixed results, after all - she hadn't used anything in there, but she had used Meggan instead... "Thanks. Four days an' I'm recharged as I'm gunna be - this new one doesn't have the same oomph of the other."
Angelo blinked, settling on the couch. "Why's that? I thought they were gonna send you one just the same as the old one."
"No time." Amanda shrugged a little. "Rom was doin' it on her own, an' after what happened with Meg, she decided a rush job was better 'n nothin'." She didn't mention that Romany had been working on her own since a chasm had opened between her and the coven following Manuel's cleansing. Too many wounds inflicted under the influence of Manuel's power, too many things to forgive.
"Yeah, I guess." He didn't like it, but he nodded. "Is she gonna make you one with full power an' this as a stopgap, or is this it for you now?"
"This is it. Means I won't be able t' do as much, magic-wise, 'specially the healin', but I think I've done enough of that. People'll have t' get used t' relyin' on medical science again." A sudden snort escaped her. "Nate's got shite timin'."
Angelo laughed a little, wryly. "Least there's nothin' wrong with Nate this time that won't heal itself in time. Not even that much time, compared to some of the other stuff he's done to himself."
"He's certainly gotten some practice, yeah." Amanda fell silent, fingers twisting the hem of her shirt as she thought. Eventually, she spoke, her tone strangely off-hand. "You know, when I read that post, all I could think was 'oh no, not again'. I just... didn't have the energy t' get upset, I s'pose. Does that make me a bad person?"
"...No. 'Cause this isn't the first or second or third time it's happened, an' there's only so many times you can... freak out about it. God knows I love the guy, but... he's gonna be okay before long, it doesn't sound too serious, so..."
There was a certain relief, although Amanda couldn't say whether it was because she wasn't a monster, or because Angelo hadn't noticed anything off about her reactions. "There's just been too much," she said quietly. "Pete, Charlie, what I did t' Meg. Fightin' with Manuel all the fuckin' time... I've stretched meself so thin, I don't have much left over for me, so I'm tryin' t' do what everyone tells me an' look after meself. It just feels... selfish, I s'pose." She shifted a little uncomfortably. "You seen Meg? I didn't want to 'til I was sure I wouldn't... Until I had things under control again. I told her 'bout changin' rooms, an' she was pretty upset with me."
"I have, yeah. I think she's doin' better. You know Meg - nothin' ever keeps her down for long. An' she might not understand, but she's happy enough with the girls, now she's had a bit of time t'get used to it, I think."
"Good. I should go visit, now I'm more stable..." Amanda didn't sound convinced - part of her was wondering if it wouldn't be better to leave Meg to settle. To be happier without her, to let Kurt be her main support. Tiredly she sighed. It was all too much effort, to think, to feel. She needed to develop a bit of distance, she reminded herself. Clinging too hard would only damage herself and the people around her.
Angelo nodded firmly. "Yeah. You should. A bit more distance than there was won't hurt her, now she's settled in an' got used to the place, but cuttin' yourself off from her completely? That will."
"You're right, I s'pose. I don't want t' let her down any more 'n I have..." Amanda rubbed her eyes. "You up for that movie, still? Your pick." She gave him a tired half-smile. "Tho' you might end up bein' used as a pillow before too long."
"Got no problem with that", Angelo assured her with a quiet half-grin, moving to inspect her DVD collection. "What've you got?"
"Bits an' pieces." Amanda made herself more comfortable, leaning against the arm of the couch. "The French things're Angie's obviously, an' the Python's mine, an' the rest is what we can agree on." Angelo's hand brushed over a copy of Dogma, and she made an affirmative noise. "That one's good."
He glanced at the cover and shrugged. "Not seen this one yet. Okay." Standing, he walked over to put it in the machine.
"Terry put me onto it. An' I've seen it, so it don't matter if I drop off in the middle." Amanda waited until Angelo had set things up and returned to the couch before shifting to lean against his shoulder. "If I do fall asleep, just leave me on the couch, yeah? 'S comfy enough."
"Might do. Depends if your room door's unlocked or not."
She made a rude noise and poked him in the ribs. "Yeah, like I need t' lock the door here. The worst that could happen could be someone comin' in an' takin' pictures of me droolin'." Her voice had taken on a far more normal tone for the first time since Angelo had arrived, and she rubbed a too-thin cheek against his shoulder. "I'll be fine."
"Then you'll be sleepin' in your bed if you fall asleep", he said matter-of-factly, wrapping an arm around her. "Much better than the couch."
"'S a very comfy couch," she mock-protested, and leaned into the hug with a small noise of contentment as the movie started.
Quiet. Too bloody quiet. Amanda hadn't realised just how used she'd gotten to sharing her space until both Meggan and Marie-Ange were gone. Curled up on the couch, she re-read her reply to Angelo, and winced a little. Fuck, she sounded completely pathetic, begging for attention. Too much like the old Amanda. Then came the familiar knocking at the door that heralded Angelo's arrival, and she smiled despite herself. "Come in!" she called, voice a little rough and tired-sounding from the long hours of silently watching Tommy's bandaged form, chest rising and falling ever-so-slightly.
He pushed the door open and headed inside, one hand already reaching to take the key from around his neck. "Hey, little sis."
"Hey." Her face was solemn as she took the key from him. The experiment had had mixed results, after all - she hadn't used anything in there, but she had used Meggan instead... "Thanks. Four days an' I'm recharged as I'm gunna be - this new one doesn't have the same oomph of the other."
Angelo blinked, settling on the couch. "Why's that? I thought they were gonna send you one just the same as the old one."
"No time." Amanda shrugged a little. "Rom was doin' it on her own, an' after what happened with Meg, she decided a rush job was better 'n nothin'." She didn't mention that Romany had been working on her own since a chasm had opened between her and the coven following Manuel's cleansing. Too many wounds inflicted under the influence of Manuel's power, too many things to forgive.
"Yeah, I guess." He didn't like it, but he nodded. "Is she gonna make you one with full power an' this as a stopgap, or is this it for you now?"
"This is it. Means I won't be able t' do as much, magic-wise, 'specially the healin', but I think I've done enough of that. People'll have t' get used t' relyin' on medical science again." A sudden snort escaped her. "Nate's got shite timin'."
Angelo laughed a little, wryly. "Least there's nothin' wrong with Nate this time that won't heal itself in time. Not even that much time, compared to some of the other stuff he's done to himself."
"He's certainly gotten some practice, yeah." Amanda fell silent, fingers twisting the hem of her shirt as she thought. Eventually, she spoke, her tone strangely off-hand. "You know, when I read that post, all I could think was 'oh no, not again'. I just... didn't have the energy t' get upset, I s'pose. Does that make me a bad person?"
"...No. 'Cause this isn't the first or second or third time it's happened, an' there's only so many times you can... freak out about it. God knows I love the guy, but... he's gonna be okay before long, it doesn't sound too serious, so..."
There was a certain relief, although Amanda couldn't say whether it was because she wasn't a monster, or because Angelo hadn't noticed anything off about her reactions. "There's just been too much," she said quietly. "Pete, Charlie, what I did t' Meg. Fightin' with Manuel all the fuckin' time... I've stretched meself so thin, I don't have much left over for me, so I'm tryin' t' do what everyone tells me an' look after meself. It just feels... selfish, I s'pose." She shifted a little uncomfortably. "You seen Meg? I didn't want to 'til I was sure I wouldn't... Until I had things under control again. I told her 'bout changin' rooms, an' she was pretty upset with me."
"I have, yeah. I think she's doin' better. You know Meg - nothin' ever keeps her down for long. An' she might not understand, but she's happy enough with the girls, now she's had a bit of time t'get used to it, I think."
"Good. I should go visit, now I'm more stable..." Amanda didn't sound convinced - part of her was wondering if it wouldn't be better to leave Meg to settle. To be happier without her, to let Kurt be her main support. Tiredly she sighed. It was all too much effort, to think, to feel. She needed to develop a bit of distance, she reminded herself. Clinging too hard would only damage herself and the people around her.
Angelo nodded firmly. "Yeah. You should. A bit more distance than there was won't hurt her, now she's settled in an' got used to the place, but cuttin' yourself off from her completely? That will."
"You're right, I s'pose. I don't want t' let her down any more 'n I have..." Amanda rubbed her eyes. "You up for that movie, still? Your pick." She gave him a tired half-smile. "Tho' you might end up bein' used as a pillow before too long."
"Got no problem with that", Angelo assured her with a quiet half-grin, moving to inspect her DVD collection. "What've you got?"
"Bits an' pieces." Amanda made herself more comfortable, leaning against the arm of the couch. "The French things're Angie's obviously, an' the Python's mine, an' the rest is what we can agree on." Angelo's hand brushed over a copy of Dogma, and she made an affirmative noise. "That one's good."
He glanced at the cover and shrugged. "Not seen this one yet. Okay." Standing, he walked over to put it in the machine.
"Terry put me onto it. An' I've seen it, so it don't matter if I drop off in the middle." Amanda waited until Angelo had set things up and returned to the couch before shifting to lean against his shoulder. "If I do fall asleep, just leave me on the couch, yeah? 'S comfy enough."
"Might do. Depends if your room door's unlocked or not."
She made a rude noise and poked him in the ribs. "Yeah, like I need t' lock the door here. The worst that could happen could be someone comin' in an' takin' pictures of me droolin'." Her voice had taken on a far more normal tone for the first time since Angelo had arrived, and she rubbed a too-thin cheek against his shoulder. "I'll be fine."
"Then you'll be sleepin' in your bed if you fall asleep", he said matter-of-factly, wrapping an arm around her. "Much better than the couch."
"'S a very comfy couch," she mock-protested, and leaned into the hug with a small noise of contentment as the movie started.
