xp_logs | Kurt and Madelyn, Monday evening (Reply)

She comes to find him in the greenhouse and gets him to talk a little about what happened on the pickup mission.

Madelyn was bone tired, her skin still feeling slightly clammy from the hours in the hazmat suit despite the usual long shower. Still, the greenhouse was soothing to her jangled nerves, and she took a moment to stop and breathe in the scents of soil and plants. Only a moment, though, since it wasn't for herself she was her. Kurt had sounded... well, for him to post to the journals at all was a sign he wasn't
coping. The thing was trying to find him in the dim room - the blue skin made him practically invisible in the shadows. "Kurt?" she called softly. "Are you still here? I'm sorry I'm so late."

He moved in the shadows, and became more visible by doing so. "Over here", came the simple answer.

She started a little at how close he actually was, and then came to sit by him. "Hey," she said, a little awkwardly now it came to it. "I get the impression things didn't go to plan. You okay?"

"...I have been better. The girls were frightened, and they tried to scare us off, with their abilities..."

She winced. It was too close to home, after the incident with Betsy. "Oh, Kurt..." She reached for his hand, something she hadn't done since... well, since she'd started dating Hank. But she figured he needed the contact just then. She knew she had.

He let her take his hand, and squeezed hers a little. "I have tried not to be afraid of telepaths. And I am not, of those here. But sometimes... when I am shown that they can and will do things like this, even out of fear..."

"It's not easy," she murmured. "Even when you tell yourself they didn't mean it, it's still frightening, realising you're not even safe in your own head." It was the first time she'd allowed herself to actively think about how what had happened with Betsy had affected her, but she pushed it away. This wasn't about her, and she'd deal when she had the time and the energy. Right now, her friend - and Kurt was still
her friend, even despite the distance between them lately - needed her. "Would it help, talking about it? Telling me what happened?"

"We knew something was wrong before we even landed", Kurt began hesitantly, with a nod. "Because Jean was there, and she could feel it. The chaos around the place... and Scott sent myself and Piotr to evacuate the adults there."

She made an encouraging noise. "It was meant to be just a basic retrieval mission, wasn't it? From the safehouse?" She'd been reading the girls' medical files during her shift with Haroun, even if Fred had left her out of this loop this time - the fact she hadn't answered email for a good ten days now was a good indicator to him she was insanely busy.

"It was. I do not know what went wrong, why the girls were so afraid. Perhaps it was just that they did not want to be moved again, or the raid was done too suddenly..."

"It had to be frightening, being swooped down upon by a SWAT team..." Madelyn said wryly, and squeezed his hand again. "Jean said they were telepaths? Something about a group mind? What did they do?"

"They... projected. Illusions, but... more solid than any I have ever seen done in that way." He shivered at the memory.

"That bad?" she prompted gently. Kurt needed to talk... no, more than that, he wanted to. Why else make the post in the first place? "If it's too hard, you don't have to tell me, but talking helps, sometimes," she continued, ignoring the little voice in her head calling her a hypocrite. 'Later, okay? When I have time for a meltdown.'

Kurt nodded, quietly. "It was not just projection from their own imagination. Speaking for myself and I think for the others too... what we saw was taken from our minds."

She shivered a little at the thought. More reasons 'paths creeped her out now - they had access to even the most personal of thoughts and feelings, and only a personal code of ethics to stop them using that. She'd known it intellectually, but had the point driven home with Betsy. "And I'm guessing they weren't the good times?"

He shook his head. "Fears, old nightmares... things that happened and did not."

Another wince. "I'm sorry you went through that, Kurt," she said at last, bring her other hand around to wrap them both around his. She wouldn't push to know his private fears - he'd already been violated once today.

He squeezed her hands, almost instinctively. "It almost makes it worse that it was not malicious. Just frightened children, wanting only to be left alone."

"Because you can't blame them?" she asked quietly.

"Yes. If they had done it meaning to harm... but they did not, I am sure of it."

"You can't hate a victim. And if you do, you feel guilty because of it and that just makes things worse." They'd ceased being questions and were almost confessions, her voice growing softer, almost a whisper. "But there's still the fact that something was done to you, and there was nothing you could do about it."

"Yes, that is it exactly." That sounded more like experience than speculation, to him, and he looked at her carefully. "You...?"

She shook her head slightly. "It's... well, it's not nothing, but I don't have ti..." Catching Kurt's look, she halted that train of thought. "Betsy's virus... it made her powers go out of control and Le Beau and I were dragged into her mind. Along with the others. It's made me a little... twitchy about psis." She shrugged. "This isn't about me, though. Don't worry about it."

"If you are having problems, it should also be about you", he said quietly.

"I'll be fine," she replied, perhaps with just a hint of impatience. "Haroun, Tommy... they need a doctor, not a basket case right now. Once we finish, then there's time to fall apart." Her voice was steely - there would be no arguing this.

He recognised the tone, and nodded in resignation. "Very well."

"It's not important," she repeated, a bit more gently. "Later, Kurt. I promise."

"Later, then", he agreed.

Madelyn squeezed his hand between hers again. "And how about you? Are you going to be okay?"

"...Yes", he answered after a long moment. "I will be. I needed some time alone, to be quiet. But I will be."

"Well, if you need to talk..." Madelyn said lamely, highly aware of how hypocritical she sounded. "You know where to find me."

"I do. And the same goes for you", he told her pointedly.

She smiled tiredly in response. "Yes, I know." She nudged him gently with her shoulder. "And unless you want to have to haul my ass to bed again, I'd better go. Come find me later? When all this is done?"

"You know I will. Sleep well, Madelyn."