The more things change, the more they stay the same.

[x-rogue.livejournal.com]

We're back. Phew

Logan had been dreaming of sharp things, metallic scraping and the scent of blood, but as he began to wake, that smell was washed away by the scent of something more familiar -- and strangely unfamiliar. His eyes opened, heavy and unfocused, and he groaned quietly at the bright lights above him.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty." Marie put down her coffee cup and leaned forward in her chair to touch Logan's arm gently. He'd not been quiet, so the noise wasn't unusual, but this was the first time today he'd opened his eyes. "You back with us yet?" She stifled a little surge of anticipation and waited for his response.

His eyes slowly focused on Marie's face. Something wasn't quite right there, nor with her smell, but it wasn't quite wrong either. "Marie," he murmured, blinking, his voice croaky from lack of use.

"Welcome back." No crying, she told herself sternly. She put her college brochures aside and stood to lean over him, her gloved fingers automatically moving to smooth the deep lines on his forehead. "Do you want me to go get Hank? Here," she reached over to the bedside table and picked up the bottle of water she'd brought down for herself. "Water?"

He shook his head firmly, trying to push himself upright, but instead managing to scrape his claws against the bed. He slid right back down. "No, don't get Hank. 'm fine." He blinked a few more times.

She abandoned the water for the moment and slid one hand behind his neck, pulling him to half-sitting effortlessly. Then she stepped on a pedal at the base of the bed and arranged the pillows behind him as it levered itself upward. "Lie back now," she said firmly, letting him down into the pillows. "There." She picked up the water bottle again and smiled at him, pushing lank hair back from his face. "Better?"

"Marie?" Logan was sure, now, that something was wrong. Her face, her hair, her smell. Not to mention that she should never have been able to lift him.

"It's me, yes." Worried, she took his near hand in hers, careful of the razor-sharp claws, and sat down on the edge of the bed, holding it, frowning a little. They can't have done anything really bad to him, can they? "Is something wrong?"

You tell me, he thought to himself. " 'm fine. You okay?" He started to flex the hand she wasn't touching, experimenting with the muscle that allowed him to retract his claws.

"Better now," she said, smiling a little. Her voice dropped. "I missed you so much."

He met her eyes quickly. "I missed you, too. I'm sorry I didn't come back." Before he'd gone, he knew that she'd been lonely; his absence couldn't have made that easier.

She blinked back dampness in her eyes. Smarten up, Em, she told herself sharply. "Well, you had reason enough, right? You don't have to apologize. I'd rather you just got busy somewhere than what happened to you. It's just good you're okay." She straightened up and lifted her chin. "Right?"

"I'm okay." He watched her for a moment. Scars crawling up the side of her neck and face that hadn't been there when he left. Short hair that had been long. "What happened while I was gone?"

She laughed at him then. "Well, I suppose you're not going anywhere right now. A lot. Anywhere you want me to start? Getting John back? Bobby being replaced by Mystique? Um... there's more... the Sentinels... Doctor Essex leaving... take your pick."

He frowned at her, trying to decide if she was being deliberately obtuse or not. "You got hurt."

"Oh..." She looked taken aback and raised her right hand to touch her cheek. Her expression clouded over then and she nodded. "Yeah, a little, when we were getting John back. There were some complications. It's mostly healed. Doesn't bother me much now." She bit her lip and looked down at his hand, rubbing at the taut tendons around the claws. "I'm doing okay."

He could see that he'd upset her, at least a little, so he let it go. "I'm glad you're okay now." He remembered that John had left with Magneto. It seemed strange, unreal, that life had gone on while he'd been away. "Really."

"Are you going to stay?" she asked quietly.

He glanced down at the IV, then back up at her. "Don't really want to be anywhere else right now."

"Good." She inhaled slowly and swallowed hard. "Can I get you a drink or something now?" Her voice was unsteady and her hands on his were cool, even through her thin burgundy gloves.

He nodded slowly. "Sure. Water's fine." He wasn't sure how to respond to this new, distant Marie.

"I'll get you a straw for this..." She got up and got one out of a drawer and then poured water into a glass and brought it to him. "Here." She held it for him so he could drink.

"John was set up," she said suddenly. "Magneto was going to sacrifice him in an operation. We went to get him out and he didn't know and didn't want to come with Alison and I when the team stopped them at a military research facility. Alison got him out and I stayed behind to handle the mutant with him, a guy named Stanley. Between John's fire... and mine... and Stanley trying to kill me, the area we were in had a collapse. I was caught in the fire, and I killed Stanley when we fell through the floor." Her voice was steady and her eyes clear. "The fall knocked me out, broke my ribs and left arm among other things. The military got their hands on me while I was unconscious and ran tests on me. I got out while I was being transfered. Scott picked me up while I was walking home. Stanley's powers... I still have them all. They're not going away. I've been mostly in therapy and physical therapy since I was allowed out of sickbay. I still do stupid stuff like fly in my sleep and scare myself, or break things. I'm getting better, though. That's all. It's okay now." She stopped and waited, watching his face.

His eyes widened a bit and he felt weighted down with guilt. She'd been captured, like him, and he hadn't been there to help. Scott had helped her. "So, you'll always have his powers?" He thought that must be painful for her to have a constant reminder like that. "I'm sorry."

She nodded slowly. "Me too. It makes me... pretty dangerous to people. I don't like people knowing... knowing I could do it to them. I'm getting better at not hurting anyone, though." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "We all hold each other's lives in our hands. Integrity keeps us safe, keeps us whole. People who know I have that won't be afraid of me and as long as the wrong people don't know, I'll be fine. Besides," she said with a little smile, touching his cheek. "Couldn't have got you out so easily without them. So... it's not so bad."

His face twisted a little and he raised his free hand to carefully -- oh, so carefully -- brush his fingers over her shorn hair. He met her eyes again, needing her to know, in case she doubted, "I'm not afraid of you."

"You're not afraid of anything," she said softly, teasing, tilting her head to rub against his hand. "You're the mean old wolverine, right?" She put his water aside then and leaned forward to rest her head on his chest. "I missed you so much." Her voice broke and tears soaked into the pale blue hospital robe in which someone had dressed him.

He stifled a harsh laugh. His nightmares were easy proof that he had fears of his own, but he'd never be afraid of her. He wrapped his arms over her back comfortingly. "I missed you, too. Thought about you all the time."

Marie cuddled up against him, speaking through her tears. "I missed you so much. I was so scared... scared when you didn't come and I didn't know why. I thought about you too. I didn't hurt myself once... no matter how bad it got. I said I wouldn't, not without telling you, and you weren't here to tell. I waited." She wiped at her cheeks with her hand and lifted her head to look at him. "You're still my number one good thing in the world. Top of my list. I had faith in you. I knew you'd make it home... even if I had to go and get you myself."

"You're my good thing, too. Marie, I swear I'd have come home if I could've." He squeezed a bit, careful to keep his claws angled up -- he'd have to do something about that, soon -- and dipped his head down to brush his cheek over her hair. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to talk to. I'm back now, though, and I'm not going anywhere."