Amanda, Kurt - Monday morning

[xp_daytripper]

Amanda's holding down the fort at the Snow Valley Centre when Kurt drops by for a visit. They chat about everything and anything, as is their wont these days.



"Snow Valley Memorial Center for Mutant Affairs" said the name on the glass door and on the other side was an open plan office space much like any other. They didn't have an official receptionist yet but that wasn't a huge problem since they were still setting things up and it wasn't as if they got that many visitors. Once of Amanda's jobs, however, was to keep an eye on the door and make sure that any visitors they did get didn't end up wandering aimlessly. So when movement caught her eye on the other side of the glass, she put down the textbook she'd been reading and headed over, putting on her best professional smile. She was getting good at it.

The smile widened and became more genuine, however, when she saw who it was who had come calling. Pulling open the door, she exclaimed: "Kurt! What're you doing here?"

He smiled back, looking around the office with some approval. "I came to see where you will be working now. And how you are."

"Come on in - the others're off doing secret spy things right now so the place is a bit empty. I could make you a cuppa, tho'. Or a coffee - Betsy's got some stuff she reckons is pretty good. I don't know, it all tastes like pond mud to me." Prattling just a bit, Amanda ushered him into the office proper. "I haven't really had a chance to talk to you since I got back to New York. How's everything?"

"All is well at the moment", he said, smiling at her nervousness, though he was unsure whether or not to tell her what he had learned about Mystique. "And you? You look well."

"I'm doing good. Work's starting to be less scary and the course work I need to do for this degree is actually interesting. And I'm looking after myself, don't worry about that," she added, grinning at him.

There was an area with several low couches arranged around a coffee table and she led him there. The whiteboard nearby was covered with lists of tasks under each person's name, although "choke to death on a carpet sample and die" under Pete's name probably wasn't an actual job for him to do. "Have a seat. Did you want anything?"

Kurt glanced sideways at the board, amused, as he sat down. "A drink would be very welcome. Who in the office would like to see Pete choke on upholstery?"

"Remy didn't take being left to do the work in the brownstones too well - actually, he's been kind of shirty all week." Amanda shrugged a little. "He's off somewhere in the Middle East right now, I think... Tea okay?"

"Tea is fine", he said with a smile. "I always preferred it to coffee anyway. You have not been working too hard?"

"Depends how you define 'too hard'," Amanda said with a laugh. "Be right back."

She returned shortly later with a mug that had a map of the London Underground on it - most of their mugs appeared to have come from a souvenier shop at Heathrow. "There you go," she said, handing it to him before taking a seat herself. "I'm trying to pace myself. Sometimes I do too much... I just get wrapped up in everything, y'know? I mean, it's exciting, doing the college work, learning the ropes here, learning what Remy and Pete have to show me. I forget to stop sometimes."

Kurt nodded. "I understand how easy it can be to lose track of how much you have done. But do try to slow down sometimes.... or perhaps I will have to drop in from time to time and see that you do take breaks."

She wrinkled her nose at him. "Mate, when you threaten to drop in on people, we'd better take you seriously. Nothing like having a teleporter keeping an eye on you." She reached over and patted Kurt's knee. "I'm fine, really I am. Pete makes sure I don't overdo it, and I'm pretty sure Betsy's keeping a brain out, if you get what I mean. And things are better these days, without the magic. No more nose bleeds or headaches or weird smelling crap in jars."

"That is very good to hear", he said genuinely, squeezing her hand before she pulled it back. "You don't miss it?"

She dropped her eyes, focussing on her feet for a minute. Doc Martens poking out from beneath the black slacks Marie-Ange had helped her pick out. "I shouldn't," she said at last. "I fucked up so much with it last year, hurt people... I don't ever want it back." This last was said with determination, but then her voice softened almost to a whisper. "But sometimes... yeah, I do."

"I do not know if it is a matter of 'shouldn't", he said after a moment, thoughtfully. "Whether you ever want to have it back or not... it was a part of you for a very long time. It is natural to miss it."

"I know, it's just... sometimes it feels like I'm a murderer, missing his gun, y'know? The magic isn't to blame for what I did, but I couldn't have done it without it. So I should be glad it's gone. I'm not dangerous any more." Amanda shook her head. "No, that's not exactly it, either. It's just confusing - most of the time I try not to think about it, move on with things. Same as with... well, other things." Like Manuel.

"The murderer picks up his gun", Kurt told her quietly. "You did not ask for the magic. And I think no one expects you to be clear on how you feel about it, so soon. Or perhaps ever."

"It's been more than six months," Amanda reminded him, wryly, but her expression was grateful. Kurt never put the pressure on. "So, enough about me, how about you? What've you been up to? You sound like you've been busy, from the emails."

"Six months is soon, for such a major change", he pointed out gently. "And yes, I have been fairly busy, with the teams and the school. And Ororo seems to feel I could take on a more responsible role in the teams..."

Amanda raised an eyebrow. "But that'd mean team leader, yeah? Since you're the second banana already."

"It would, yes." He looked vaguely uncomfortable with the idea. "Alison and Haroun are gone, and I suppose someone must replace them sooner or later."

"Not fancying the idea?" Amanda asked sympathetically.

"I just... am not sure I am suited to such a position. As a leader."

"Why not?" she asked, surprised. "You've been doing this longer than a lot of them have, and you've been doing it well. No massive injuries, no nervous breakdowns and no turning evil, not unless you've been living a double life as the Phantom of the Opera or something." Amanda said the last with a slightly teasing grin. "People trust you, Kurt and with good cause. I think that's important in a leader."

He shrugged, still looking discomfited. "I suppose I... do not know. I just feel that... it would not be for me. But Ororo disagrees."

"Well, there's nothing saying you have to do it," Amanda reminded him. "Don't let them blindside you with that responsibility guilt trip, either. If you don't want to, then you don't have to. But I think maybe you should give it a shot, see for yourself. Like when they let you take cars for test-drives?"

"I suppose that could work", he agreed, cheering. "I cannot imagine they would say I cannot step down, if it comes to that."

"If they don't, you could always threaten them with your evil little sister," Amanda pointed out, expression mischievous. "I could go over there in the Hellfire outfit and threaten to turn them into frogs."

Kurt laughed, at that. "Well, that would certainly get a reaction."

"Probably the one where they point and laugh, but hey, I'm willing to take one for the family." The word broached another topic she wanted to talk about and she asked, almost abruptly. "Have you talked to them lately? How is everyone? How's Meg?"

He blinked at the sudden change of subject, but went with it. "The family are doing well, though they still feel I do not go home enough. Meggan is fine, and learning more control over the physical part of her mutation."

"Good, that's... good." Amanda finished a little lamely, and gave him a slightly pathetic look. "I was wondering. Margali's still not answering any letters. Stefan writes sometimes, but not so much. Talking of busy with leadership stuff."

"Margali is... stubborn, on occasion", he answered carefully. "And I will remind Stefan to stay in touch more - he is not leader yet, so there is no reason he cannot find the time."

"Our family, stubborn?" She managed a faint smile. "I mean, I understand and all - I made a fucking awful bollocks-up with Meg and it's a bloody miracle she's not completely fucked up by it. But... it was too much for me, looking after Meg. I should have realised that sooner, maybe taken her back to Margali as soon as I drained the power off her."

"Meggan took no harm by that", Kurt reminded her. "And I do not think she ever really understood why you were so upset by it."

"But you do, don't you? I used her, Kurt, same as Rack did to me. And it doesn't matter that it was an accident, or that it didn't hurt her. For one moment there, she wasn't Meg any more. She was a thing, another mystical artifact to get a charge off."

"But only for one moment, in extremis. I understand why you feel as you do, but that fact alone puts you in an order far above Rack."

"But I couldn't rely on that staying the case, me feeling bad about it. Which is why I had to fix the problem in the first place, so it wouldn't happen again, and we saw what I did to do that." Amanda rubbed her forehead. "It really bothers me that I can still see the sense in what I did, even if it was the worst bloody thing possible to do."

"There may be sense in many things", Kurt said softly. "What is logically right is not always what is morally right. And I think you know the difference, or we would not be having this conversation."

"If I didn't, Remy would have seen to it that I wouldn't be having any conversations. Ever." Amanda didn't sound terribly upset by that fact - she sounded almost relieved. "I just worry that one day I'm going to find myself in a situation where I have to rely on what I think makes sense and everything'll go to hell again."

"Perhaps you will. But you will not be without support, if you call for it."

"If anything Pete and Remy will be there to hit me over the head with something heavy for being a wanker," she said with another of those brief, wry grins. "Bloody hell, how'd we get here? So much for a nice friendly visit and a chat."

He shrugged slightly, grinning back. "You seemed to need to talk about it."

"You were doing that sneaky listening thing you do so well," she replied, poking her tongue out at him. "You and Angelo both, always getting me to talk even when I think I don't need to."

"And what else should those who care for you do?" he wanted to know, placidly.

She opened her mouth to retort, but had nothing. Blushing pinkly, she ducked her head a little. "Checkmate," she said, laughing. "Remind me never to play chess with you - you're too bloody good at this."

He laughed too, reaching to give her a quick hug. "Stefan and I used to play chess, sometimes. It was always a close-run thing as to who won."

"Nate taught me," she said, returning the hug and not stiffening up at all as she may have done in the past. "I don't have the tactical head for it, but occasionally I'd surprise him. Sneakiness must run in the family too, like being too bloody stubborn for our own good, huh?"

"I think it must", he said, amused. "Or perhaps it is a trait of living at the mansion, since we are not the only ones there to share it."

"The sneaky or the stubborn?"

"Both."

"I can see that." Amanda laughed again, and then gave him an enquiring look. "You want the grand tour? We're still setting up, mind, but you can see where they're keeping me out of trouble."

"I would love to." He smiled, starting to get up. "The place is coming along well, from the look of it."

"We're getting there." Amanda snickered. "Tho' if I never have to put another bit of Ikea furniture together, it'll be too soon."