xp_logs | Logan and on-the-road Marie (Reply)

Marie was familiar with the middle of nowhere. It was, in fact, one of her favourite places to be. At two in the morning, under a low and cloudy sky, there was nothing but the lights of the little nowhere town where she had stopped when Mrs. Espinosa had grown tired. Perfect, except that there was nothing to distract her. Seeing Angelo's mother, talking to her, had awakened the long-buried desire to return to her own home, at least to see it once more.

She wrapped her coat around her and flexed her chilled fingers. It was cold and dark and she wondered if they even missed her, if they ever thought about her. /They wanted me to find my own kind,/ she thought. /Just like the preacher said. Well, I did. Maybe I could go home now? Just to say.../ The thought made tears prick at her eyes. She reached for the phone in her pocket and her fingers found the number in the dark. She waited and let it ring. It was the middle of the night, but she knew that Logan wouldn't mind.

Logan was trapped. Struggling against his bonds, but never breaking free. He was in pain. He was pain. A vile stench filled the air and he choked on it. Phrases echoed in his mind. "More than human." "Draining adamantium reserves." "Incredible healing factor." And then there was a shrieking, a bell. He screamed, eyes flying open to darkness. Something soft crowding against him; his claws tore it to shreds. Panting, gasping for air, he realised that the shrieking hadn't stopped. The telephone. He picked it up. "Yeah?"

His voice was... raw. Marie bit her lip, her thoughts starting to evaporate. "...Logan?" she asked, hushed. She could hear his breathing slowing already, reaching for the steady cadence she knew so well, but it was still unsteady. Wrong. "What's wrong?"

"Marie." One deep breath and then another. "A dream, that's all. Just a dream."

"Not just a dream," she said softly. "You having those much?" She knew the things that haunted the back of her head and crawled forth in the small hours of the morning to gnaw at her, to infect her with the past.

"Now and then," he answered. After a short pause, though, he muttered, "Almost every night."

"You wanna tell me?" She flipped open the chair leaning up against the balcony railing and sat down, pulling her knees to her chest and hugging herself. "I'm not going anywhere right now." Mrs. Espinosa was sound asleep and Marie knew she should be too, but her own thoughts were nagging her too much to let her rest. This, at least, would make being awake most of the night worth the headache she'd have all day tomorrow.

"I. If you wanna hear it." He had no illusions that she didn't know what she was in for, if he started talking about his nightmares. She'd been inside his head often enough to have a pretty good idea. Still, she should be given the chance to back out. [d]

"Yeah." She wished she were close enough to put her hand on his, to rub the back of his hand where the blood sometimes dried and remained after his claws had disappeared, even to put her arm around his tight shoulders and let him know he wasn't alone. But it was a long way home, and so her voice and breath on the other end of the phone were all she had to give. She closed her eyes and put her head on her knees. "Tell me."

"The memories are jumbled. Some of 'em, I know, are from Before." He took a deep breath. It wasn't easy to talk about, any of it. "Others, I'm not sure. In all of 'em, though, there's a lot of screaming. I think it's me."

"I... I've seen... little pieces. It's okay." They'd never talked about the things she'd seen, what she knew, except for that thing about Bobby and that... that was different. "You can say anything to me."

A wave of peace washed over him, the effects of the nightmare gone. "I know." He wasn't sure where to start. "I can heal anything. In my dreams, they took advantage of that. A lot."

"Who's they? Just... "They"?"

"Sometimes it's Stryker and his scientists. Sometimes it's not." Sometimes it's the people he'd gotten himself trapped by over the summer.

"...do you know who else?" Her voice was soft, careful. She tugged at the hem of her jeans where they were fraying a little.

He didn't answer for a long time, then, finally, a slow, quiet rasp. "Yeah. Some of 'em are the guys that got me earlier this year."

She chewed at her lip. "Tell me?"

"About what happened while I was gone? Storm left and I got stupid. I went after a rumour I heard about me bein' there a long time ago. I got caught. They were ready for me. Tranqs that knocked me out long enough for 'em to strap me down."

Marie sighed. "A trap then. You remember where you heard that rumour?"

"A guy who'd given me information about the baby-killin' imam. Sellin' somethin' in the marketplace. Jewelry, I think." The memory of having been so stupid as to get himself trapped coloured his voice with annoyance.

"And the things they did... you dream about them?" That wasn't acceptable. They'd gotten him out, but not enough. They still had part of him. And that... she wasn't about to just let that go. "Anything help?"

He shifted uncomfortably on the bed. He'd gone one night, so far, without the nightmares. "Yeah."

Marie tugged at her own hair absently, mimicking his affectionate gesture. "What helps?" She let a little humour creep into her voice. "Oreos?"

Logan snorted. "Yeah, somethin' like that." He paused for a moment. "The night you were here, I didn't dream."

"Glad to know something helps," she said quietly, hating the distance even more now.

"Yeah." He was embarrassed at his own weakness, but he couldn't have denied her the answer to her question. He remembered that she'd called him, not the other way round. "How's the trip?"

"It's okay. Really... drive-y, y'know. And the riots were a little on the scary side. Not scared about me, more of hurting someone. I'm not so keen on having to pull out the stops. And... I don't know. Guess my brain's decided to think too much. Family things..." her voice trailed off. "I don't think they ever looked for me."

He didn't know how to respond to that. He would've looked for her. "They probably did. They're your family. 's what they do."

"Maybe. I guess I don't know if it's right to bug them now or not. They... the minister said I had to find my own kind." She tried to keep her voice reasonable and clear. "It was real hard on them. If it's easier like this, I don't want to hurt them."

"Marie..." Her tone of voice, the layers of calm and hurt beneath, made him ache for the distance, that he couldn't hug her. "It was hard on them. On you, too, wasn't it? Maybe they're feelin' a bit like you, wantin' to hear you're okay." The idea that she might want to return to her parents made him both happy for her and terrified that he might lose her. And worried that she might get hurt.

"Maybe. We'll see. I just... I wanted to talk to you. Hear you. Just couldn't sleep. Glad I couldn't now, though." She was at that, she was grateful for her nagging, foolish, worrisome mind. "You... if you need me, and I can get there... you know I'll come, right? Even if you just want me to hold your hand."

"The same's true for me, you know. If you need me." He shifted on the bed again. "Tonight, though, I'm probably fine. Hearing your voice...I feel better. Thanks for callin'. Even if you didn't know I needed it."

"It's nice to be able to be there for you," she admitted. "So you better take me up on it. And you're welcome. Sometimes, I get lucky like that... a lot of the time, where you're concerned." She sighed reluctantly. "I kind of should sleep. It's not exactly responsible and I need to try and get ten hours in at least tomorrow."

"You should. You gotta drive careful and you can't do that if your asleep at the wheel." He nodded, though she couldn't see it. "I'll let you get some rest."

"Go eat some cookies," she advised, stepping back inside the darkened room and kicking off her shoes. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"I think I've got some round here somewhere." Logan raised his head to peer at the bedside table at an empty Oreo package. "You go 'n get some rest."

"You'll be okay, right?" She took off her coat and got in bed and pulled the covers up, snuggling down into the pillows. "You'll call me if you need me? I've got the phone set so it'll wake just me."

"I'll be fine, hon. You take care of you and get yourself back here safely. Don't worry 'bout me." He cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder, tossing off the sheet and sitting up.

"Yeah, right," she said, then stifled her giggle in the pillow. "I'll be careful, though. Promise. And Logan?"

"Yeah?" He reached back for the pillow he'd destroyed.

"Love you."

His heart softened and a smile tugged at his lips. "I love you, too, Marie."

"Night night," she whispered sleepily. "Bedbugs and all that. You know where I am if you need me." And with that she closed the phone, tucking it up in the palm of her hand and holding it tightly, then willed herself to sleep.

The smile remained on his face as he threw the pillow into the garbage bin and flipped on the light so that he could clean up the stray feathers on his bed, so that he could go back to sleep. This time, with no nightmares.