Forge and Lorna, Monday afternoon

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Following up on a comment he made during the dream, Lorna tracks down Forge to his office where he's packing.




Lorna wasn't sure that she'd ever been to Forge's office, at least not specifically seeking its owner. There had been a couple of times when she'd needed to check a security clearance or review a tape but it was always just a matter of school security, not a visit. Strange but then, not really, she supposed. She rapped on the doorframe to get Forge's attention then leaned against it.

Forge glanced up from where he'd been sorting binders, shelving them alphabetically with a shelf of copies sorted by threat level. Blinking in surprise, he looked down at Lorna's empty hands and shrugged. "Okay, you're not bringing me food, so I assume this isn't yet another attempt by the women of the mansion to bribe me into some intricate technologically-assisted practical joke. I'm kind of in between things at the moment here, but is there something I can help you with?"

"The grand bake off is over. I ran out of cinnamon again." She tucked her hands into her pockets, wishing she'd brought something down anyway. "Actually I just had a question for you. I'm unapproachable?"

"Ah," Forge said quietly, self-consciously rubbing the back of his neck. "In a word...yeah."

She tilted her head to the side slowly, "Do you think people actually care?" Two questions but hell, she knew Forge would be honest with her. Lies interfered with the way things worked after all. She was certainly being inconsistent there today--did the truth have value or not?

"I don't know," Forge admitted. "I've given up on trying to figure out what people feel or if they care. All I know is that I care. Look, I'm not going to pretend that I have even the slightest clue into what your life is like. In two and a half years, I've barely spoken to you outside of small talk in the kitchen. It's not like we're best buddies, we're barely even acquaintances. And I don't know if that's because you push everyone away, or if it's just me."

He looked away from Lorna, squaring up a stack of CDs on his desk and lining them up with the edge of his blotter. "I don't know if having me around reminds you of Malice, and the things she did. I wondered for a while... okay, I've wondered ever since they pulled us out of there, if that was the case. But you know, I need to stop wondering. Either you give a damn or you don't, and that's beyond my ability to figure out."

For a moment she looked as stunned as she felt before she managed to cover it up. She'd wanted honesty, right? Everything you want in the worst way possible like the dream. "It's...both." She shrugged--one shoulder as was her habit. "I've made a mess out of my life since...Florida. It's easier if no one else has to be a part of that with me." She gave him a wry grin, "And you in particular I did enough wrong to."

"So?" Forge just returned the shrug and leaned over to tap at his keyboard and send an email. "Are you planning to turn me over to the Brotherhood again any time soon?" He held up one hand to forestall any response from Lorna. "That was rhetorical. Then isn't now. We aren't who we were at our worst. Believe me, I know that as well as anyone. Right now?" He chuckled self-consciously and flopped backwards into his chair.

"Right now I'm afraid. This weekend just pointed out to me that I am the weakest link in what resembles a chain around here. In terms of being vulnerable in times of danger, in terms of holding friendships together, in terms of trying to have a normal life - everything is out of my control, Lorna. So you know, at my worst, I'd be back in that high school carrying a bomb in my backpack and saying fuck it all. But that's not me now. I'm doing something about it."

He stood up, knuckles brushing his desk. "And maybe it's not my place, but hey, you came to me. Get over this. Because I'll bet you have more to offer people than just salmon meringue and forced politeness."

"Mousse. Salmon mousse," she corrected softly. Pushing a hand through her hair, she shook her head, "I think maybe both of us need to get over it. If you want to leave, make yourself better at your job, that's great. But doing it because you think there's something deficient in you now? That's total BS. How much of that are you failing at because you're afraid to make the effort?" Lorna pushed off the doorframe and took a step into the room. "He pushed both of us into doing more than we'd been capable of. Have you gotten anywhere near that level since then? I haven't."

"Maybe so," Forge admitted, not meeting Lorna's eyes. "Maybe I just have to choose the right efforts to make. Not every failure I've had has been for lack of trying. If there's some weakness in me, I owe it to the people around me to recognize it and find it. As head of security, as tech specialist for the team, or just as a general human being - I owe it to people. Not least of all myself."

"We'll both work on it. Who knows, maybe we'll both do better with the whole people thing." She hesitated a moment then smiled, "It's not that you remind me of her, you know. You're the one who got us out of there. I owe you my life."

Forge smiled back. "I know. The one time in my life I got to be a hero, and totally no one saw it. I demand a do-over." He held his hands up again, laughing. "Kidding, kidding. If I never have to be heroic again, it'll be fine with me."

"Hell the less people who insist on putting themselves in harm's way and upping my stress level the better." Necessary or not, she hated ever mission for just that reason. "Anyway, I'll let you get back to packing. Enjoy your trip, Forge."