Jean and Scott and Counting Days

[x-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

Backdated due to moving and Dexcon and insanity. Sorry.
Traumatic hydrophobia does bad things to Jean's ability to count to twenty-eight. Unlike another red-head we might mention, though, Jean's reaction is on the responsible side.



It took Jean a few days to notice. It was, she thought, possibly understandable. The day with the dragon had not been a good one for keeping to routine, and falling into the ocean, and the resultant Bout of Crazy, as she called it, had meant she wasn't thinking straight that evening, so it was understandable that she hadn't realized she'd missed a day. Scowling at the little pink, circular packet in her hand, though, she decided that just because it was understandable didn't mean it wasn't also possibly still a problem. She'd missed a day - and in the middle, which was bad, and then she hadn't noticed, so there'd been a lack of... precautions.

She counted the days again. Nope, no good. It would be too soon for a test to tell anything. She could wait, but that seemed potentially unwise.

Right then. Time to go find Scott.

---

Scott, luckily, was alone in his office. Jean tapped lightly on the frame of the door and stepped inside. "Heya," she said, then continued without preamble. "So, ok, we need to talk. There's possibly a thing. Not... not definitely a thing, but potentially a thing, and a big thing. Would you like to talk now, or are you busy?"

Scott blinked at her. "Not really, no - not busy, I mean. What's going on?" The link felt very odd.

Jean turned and closed the door firmly, then went and sat on the couch, although she didn't gesture for Scott to join her. That was going to be up to him, if he wanted to. Again, she sort of skipped the preamble - it made things easier. "Well, it's like this. In between the dragon and the hysteria, I missed a pill, and so there's a non-trivial chance I may be pregnant." It wasn't that it was likely, but it was definitely a possibility and he deserved to know.

One of the best things about having a brain that tended to go straight to the practicalities was that you didn't often blurt out things you regretted along the way. Thankfully, today was no exception to that rule. "Okay," Scott said, and if his voice was sounding slightly strained... well, it was a bit of a shock. "Umm... chances of finding out whether or not you are?" Soon?

Jean caught the strain in his voice and was completely and utterly unsurprised. "A test isn't going to be accurate for at least a week," she told him. "I thought you should at least know what was going on." Jean paused at a sudden surge of... nerves, she decided. "Was I wrong?" And there was a lot more hesitancy in that question than she'd meant there to be. But... it wasn't like she didn't know Scott's views on having kids right now.

Scott took a deep breath - and then another, before he answered. "I wouldn't have wanted you to keep this to yourself for a week, no," he went on, and it actually did manage to come out sounding reassuring. He even managed a faint smile. "I may be many things on the subject, but I like to think I'm not that selfish."

Jean relaxed slightly back into the couch at that and nodded. "And, I didn't think it would be... fair, I guess, to spring this on you later if. If I am."

"If you turn out not to be, let's never tell Terry or Bobby." I didn't just say that. Smiling very slightly - and almost defensively - Scott looked down at his desk, shifting the paperwork he'd been working on to his outbox.

Jean snorted at that, closing her eyes. She still sort of felt like she was walking on the edge of a cliff and the wrong words could send everything crashing down, but she didn't really think it would happen. It was just that little bit of fear that was normal. "How completely crazy is it that, out of being attacked by a Chinese pirate dragon we manage to, well, have something almost normal?"

"Boomerang... karma... thing," Scott said vaguely, then reached for his crutches. He might not be able to muster enthusiasm for the prospect, but he could at least not sit halfway across the room and make her feel nervous.

And, indeed, Jean relaxed slightly more as he moved to join her on the couch. "I'm sorry," she said after he was seated again, her voice quiet. "I know this isn't what we wanted."

He shook his head at her, but didn't answer for a long moment. "Don't apologize," he finally said. "You were hardly the only person who contributed to the situation." He offered her another brief smile, this one definitely crooked. There was a flicker of actual humor in his real eye, but it was fairly wan. The little voice that was usually screaming Zen, dammit! in the back of his head was awfully quiet right now.

"There's still a reasonable chance that it isn't a situation at all," she said, glancing away as she said it - the humor a little too uncertain for her to depend on it as a sign that things were ok.

"I know." He didn't know what he wanted - well, no, realistically, he did. He just wasn't sure whether it was the same thing she wanted, and hadn't that always been the problem?

Jean looked back at him, resolving to be... calm. "We should, I admit, possibly have sat down and actually talked about this before, well, before it might have become moot. It was, just..." and there went some of the calm and she looked away again. "It just never seemed like a good time."

"You'd be a wonderful mother," Scott said abruptly, then flushed slightly as he looked away. "I've never actually doubted that. Episodes of crazy or not."

Jean wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that. She knew Scott would be a good father, but she was also pretty sure he didn't really want to hear it. "Well," she said, trying for light hearted, "at least I've never really worried that I'd turn into my mother."

Scott actually cracked a slight smile. "Yeah, um... we'd have to talk about divorce, if you did. Not that I don't like your mother, but..."

Smiles were good. They were reassuring. Jean tried on a little smile of her own. "Yes, I'd quite understand. I wouldn't want to be married to her, either."

"I sometimes wonder how your father keeps his sanity." Scott stared at the floor for a moment. "Well. I suppose if this does turn out to be a situation, I have some time to get my head screwed on straight,," he said finally, a touch of false heartiness in his tone.

And that was almost entirely unreassuring, but not unexpected. Jean sighed faintly and leaned her head on his shoulder. "We'll figure it out," she said, in lieu of apologizing again.

"I just... how do you feel, about this?" Scott asked, a bit desperately. When in doubt, distract.

"Unprepared," Jean said after a moment, not moving from his shoulder and definitely not looking at him. "Worried about you. Vaguely angry at myself for slipping up." There was a very long pause, but just when it seemed she'd said all she was going to, Jean added in a very small voice, "Happy."

"I've been wondering, watching you with Rachel the times we've babysat her," Scott said, almost distractedly. Jean had enjoyed herself, those evenings - that had been as plain as the nose on his face.

Jean bit at her lower lip. "I... I never wanted to pressure you, I swear. I... I wanted to wait until you wanted. Until you were ready." Her voice dropped, it was almost a whisper. "If you did."

Scott stared at the floor. It was amazing, really, how well they'd avoided talking about this for so long. Then again, you do shut the topic down pretty effectively when it comes up, don't you? "It's not like I've minded," he said. "Babysitting Rachel. She's a sweet kid."

Still biting her lip, Jean nodded slightly. "She likes you."

"I suppose any child of ours probably would be, too," Scott said, his lips twitching very slightly. He sighed, though, at Jean's tentative look, and slid an arm around her in a hug. "It's okay. Either way. You know why I've always been so worried about the idea..." Between having no real memory of his own parents, and a string of very half-assed foster parents prior to being declared unadoptable, it wasn't as if he'd ever had any proper models for good parental behavior.

Jean snuggled slightly closer to him, closing her eyes for a moment, just breathing. "I do," she said after a bit. "And you know I've always thought you'd be a good father, regardless. And it's too soon to really worry. We'll know when we know."