Week in the life: Mark and Jubilee

[x-jubilee.livejournal.com]

Mark and Jubilee get sent on an investigation run.



Jubilee held out the little triangular pyramid of paper she held in her hand, grinning impishly at Mark. "Pick a side." she said.

She was currently waiting on a package that she'd need to deliver across town, it was coming in via courier from some God forsaken part of the world.

"Green," Mark replied, pointing at the appropriately labeled corner of the fortune teller. "I hope there's some creativity with the answers. Eight instances of 'You're a moron!' do not good fortune make.

"Well, you were the one who dated a guy who shot you. One might think, given the history, that your partner choosing abilities were a little on the defective side." Jubilee noted, moving the little paper fortune teller in and out and then held it up to him again. "Pick a number."

"Five. Let's not bring that up again. He was completely sane at the time." When Jubilee finished counting, he bent over to take a look. "What does it say? Please be Chris Cooley. I saw his little, er, self-portrait on the Internet and it piqued my interest."

"Nope, you get stuck with Ashton Kutcher. Although seriously, that's what you think of as future dating material? The guy looks like a potato with blonde hair." She held up the little piece of paper to him that had the name 'Ashton Kutcher' emblazoned, complete with little star symbols. It was at that point that the phone on Mark's desk began to ring.

"A&F Ashton or Punkd! Ashton?" asked Mark. "Because he was pretty hot as a model." He picked up his phone. "Papa Joey's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em. How may I direct your call?" He smirked as he listened to the unamused instructions he received from the caller. "Gotcha. Sounds like good times." A few more words from the caller, and Mark rolled his eyes and made a rude gesture with his hand before hanging up. "Daddy's sending us to St. Lily of the Roses for some recon."

"Oooh, is he gonna buy us ice cream when we get back?" Jubilee asked, throwing the 'fortune teller' on Mark's desk. "And I bags not sitting next to the weirdo guy on the subway this time."

Mark opened a drawer and carefully withdrew a number of small electronic devices that he carelessly dropped into his satchel. "Just be weirder, that'll scare 'em away."

***

Jubilee stood outside the church, her thumbs thrust into the back pockets of her jeans as she watched Mark from the corner of her eye. "So, how we doin' this one?"

"We've got a little time before people start comin' in for evening mass," Mark said. He checked the big wheeled trash can to make sure the little recorders were within reach but hidden by the cleaning supplies. "I'll go 'clean up' the administrative offices. You take the chapel itself." He slipped something into her apron pocket. "If there's no one in confession, slip these into the booths."

"Ahh confession, the thing that makes me glad I'm not a Christian. Come find me when you're done." Jubilee replied, strolling toward the front doors of the church, and then entering quietly.

It was quiet inside the church, and Jubilee made her way toward the confessionals with a light step on the marble floor. She'd always wondered why it was people spent so much money on building a house of worship when they, most of the time, couldn't afford to build a house for themselves.

Jubilee opened the door to the booth, and slipped inside, closing it firmly behind her before she sat down on the hard wooden bench. She waited for a moment to make sure no Priest was on the other side before she pulled out one of the small devices Mark had given her and placed it in a strategic spot.

***

Mark nodded politely at the few passersby on the way to the church president's office. The window was dark and the door locked, so he figured no one was inside. With a quick boost from Devo, the door was unlocked and he quickly entered. Before he shut the door, he stuck what looked like a red button onto the back of the doorknob.

One would think that anyone remotely technologically competent would set up a password for their computer. It made Mark smile that the president was not competent. Apparently he thought that locking the door was enough. It took little time for Mark to access the president's personal files, and just another couple of minutes before he got into the church's network to find its financial records, all of which he downloaded onto a flash drive. If the church really was involved in the magic black market to keep its parishioners destitute and desperate, then he'd find out.

He was halfway through the priest's email when his iPhone started to beep. Cursing silently, he shut off the motion detector he'd set on the door and closed down the computer. The flash drive disappeared into his pocket as the door opened, revealing a short, nebbishy man in an old suit.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Estoy collegiendo la basura," Mark replied. The president looked at him dumbfounded. Mark picked up the small trash bin by the desk and dumped it into his can. "Garbage." He smiled politely and wheeled the can out of the office, surreptitiously picking off the motion detector as he left. As he turned the corner, he fired off a quick text to Jubilee. Hopefully she wouldn't be caught with her pants down, too.

***

She'd almost finished laying down the last of the electronic devices when the phone at her hip buzzed silently. She reached down for it and read the text message that Mark had sent with a groan. She was going to have to hurry this up, or...Damn.

Jubilee straightened from the finishing touches she'd been putting on the little electronic device and sat down on the hard wooden seat as the Priest settled himself.

"Um, forgive me father for I have sinned?" Jubilee said, almost holding her breath to see how he would respond. She waited for a moment, and then saw the little wooden door that separated the two sections of the confessional slide across, revealing a shadowy figure sitting beyond.

"Forgive me child, I had not expected someone to enter so quickly."

"That's alright, I'm sort of new to all this. Um, would you mind going over it with me?" Jubilee said, tension straightening her shoulders as her hands gripped each side of the wooden seat.

"Of course, perhaps we should start at the beginning then." the Priest answered, his voice a low and soothing baritone. Had he been someone she'd met in a bar, his voice alone might have had her giving him a second look.

'I am so going to hell for lusting after a Priest's voice.' Jubilee thought, before she focused in on what he was actually saying.

***

Mark sipped his cappuccino, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited in the coffee shop three blocks away for Jubilee. When the congregation's president showed up, he knew he had to book it out of there so he wouldn't be asked any questions. He'd sent a few more text messages to Jubilee to try to get her out, too, but they went unreplied and he was afraid of what they'd have to tell Remy should they ever get the hell out.

"You have no idea how much I'm going to hell for lying to a priest." Jubilee noted, slumping into a chair across from him. "Well, if I believed in Christian hell, anyhow. I'm sure it's against the rules somewhere though."

"Priests are by definition liars, too, so really it's OK. You got stuck in confession?" Mark pulled out the flash drive and placed on the table between them. "I got what I came for, at least."

"Score one for the good guys." Jubilee noted, looking at the flash drives and then signaling a waitress, she paused for a moment to tell the girl what she wanted, and then continued speaking after she left. "We hoping something's on it, or that something isn't on it?"

"Depends. If you're a cynic, then you hope something incriminating is and we get to shut down another church." Not that Mark would ever admit to being so cynical. He put the drive back in his pocket. "Don't tell Angie."

"I'll try not to. I vow nothing for my ability to keep my mouth shut to safe people when I'm plastered though." Jubilee noted, smiling as the waitress brought her her coffee. "I managed to get all the surveillance equipment laid out though, so if there's nothing on this little baby, we might get something from them. Anyway, enough of that, on to more important things, like how the hell you can find Ashton Kutcher hittable in any incarnation. Cause Dude, that's just wrong."