xp_logs | Very early Wednesday morning (Reply)

Angelo was, once again, lying in the dark trying to sleep, and having no more success than most nights. The remaining pain from his burns seemed to be conspiring with his racing - and angry - thoughts to keep him awake...

"Ange?" Marie was a blur of a pale night-dress in the dim greenish glow of the safety-light in the hall. "Sleeping?"

Echoing her last visit, Angelo reached out to turn the lamp on as soon as he heard her voice. "Hey, Marie. No, I can't sleep again."

"Hey, Skin," Marie reached out and rubbed her cream silk gloved-hand up his arm, smiling affectionately. "How's it going?" The name was meant light-heartedly, a reference to both their mutations.

Angelo smiled back, taking the nickname in the spirit it was meant. "Okay, I guess."

"Look." Marie took his hand in hers and then paused. "Am I going to hurt you if I sit down on the bed here?"

Angelo shook his head. "Don't think so."

She sat down next to him carefully. "There. Now. About the other night. I was kind of freaky and I'm sorry."

Angelo's eyes hardened at the reminder of their conversation. "You were just angry. 'S understandable."

"Yeah, and I wasn't totally myself." Marie held his hand between hers, stroking the back of it lightly, soothing. "This has all been pretty upsetting and paranoia sneaky people in my head hasn't helped."

Angelo didn't pull his hand away from hers, but said quietly, trying hard not to take things out on her, "Well, I wouldn't change a word I said the other night. Would you?"

"No, actually," she admitted. "I think I'd have just delivered it a little better, you know? I agree that right now, we have every reason to be freaked out and unsafe, and we're right to be looking at defending ourselves any way we can. I'm just trying to cut back on the personal freaking."

Angelo nodded, understanding now. "*Mister* Marko seems to have got to hear about my offer", he told her. "He doesn't seem to like it."

"Well, Mister Marko can blow it out his ear, to put it nicely," Marie said tartly. "He hasn't been down our roads. I think what you're proposing is a good idea. We should be encouraged to share what we know with each other, and we should take stock of our skills. We should be taken seriously. The alternative is good for no one."

"Exactly", Angelo said earnestly, sitting forward. "All I want is for the kids to know they can defend themselves, even if it never comes to that. God knows I hope it never does..."

"Yes. I think we should be allowed to do what we need to do, and I was going to say that I think that for various reasons a staff member should volunteer not to teach but to coordinate but... that could kind of be me, maybe." Marie frowned at that. "It's just that at the end of the day, this is still a private school. And it's kind of good for everyone if we keep that in mind. Because it would be nice if this were all just a theoretic exercise, and it still might be."

"Be very nice", Angelo said soberly. "'m not countin' on it, though. An' it'd be really good to have you coordinatin'."

"I'm not counting on it either," Marie said sadly. "It's not theoretical for me, that's for certain. And, I'm busy, but if I can combine some things, I think I... and maybe Pete and Jake to start... could be useful here. I'd just watch, really. That's all."

"Works for me", Angelo said softly. "You've got time to arrange stuff, anyway, I'll not be starting the classes for awhile longer."

"That's a good point. But you're doing so much better. You look good." Marie squeezed his hand.

Angelo nodded, squeezing her hand tightly in return. "Yeah - got Amanda to thank for that. Don't think I'd even have woken up yet if it wasn't for her."

Marie smiled. "Well, I'll thank her as I can, myself. Going to try and help her out with a spell of hers and all. I'm really grateful. Look, about taking care of ourselves, let's work on getting sort of a resource sharing time in place, not just for the fighting and all but for a lot of things. What do you think?"

Angelo nodded, smiling faintly. "Not sure I got anything much useful bar the fighting, but I'll help you get that set up any time you want."

"That's why we're sharing, right? No one can do everything."

"Yeah", he answered, liking the idea more and more. "Gotta give the others somethin' positive to think about."

"Exactly." Marie looked pleased. "Look, I think... I think Scott might have been down here last night before he came and got Logan and I for some training. Did you guys have a blow up? This is hard on him too. He loves this place so much and he really tries hard."

Angelo's smile vanished. "Yeah. We did. Or... well, he did. Kinda out of the blue, too. Don't think he likes me much right now."

"I think he kind of doesn't like himself much now either," Marie said. She patted Angelo's hand comfortingly. "It'll pass. Hey, look, he can't like you less than he's liked Logan. It'll pass. He's really a good person, he's just struggling too, that's all. He's got a hard job."

"Yeah", Angelo acknowledged. "Just wish he'd let me make an informed choice when he picked me up. Told me what I might be gettin' myself into."

"Angelo, if Scott said something, it's because he believed it was true. There was no reason for anyone to think that the Stryker thing would happen again. And..." Marie trailed off and then took a deep breath. "His fiancee, Jean, died getting the kids back from Stryker, getting us out. It was horrible and sad and I know I still miss her and I can't even guess how he feels. I can see that he'd really want to believe that something like that would never happen again. I hope you can forgive him some day."

Angelo winced. "I didn't know about that. Man, now I feel bad. But I still wish someone'd told me what happened - I can see how Scott wouldn't wanna talk about it."

"We... I was there and I never thought it would happen again, Angelo. I'd have told people if I did." Marie looked resolute. "I don't believe in secrets. Knowing what's needed and appropriate, yes, but not secrets. And I know Scott. He wouldn't have said it was safe here if he didn't believe it right through. This has been his home for a long, long time. So... yeah. It's hard on him too. Don't feel bad. You didn't know. Just remember that he's a person too."

Angelo nodded. "Yeah. I know..." He trailed off, still seeming troubled.

"What's on your mind?" Marie prodded.

Angelo looked up at her. "It is right, what I wanna do here, isn't it? It won't just make stuff worse?"

Marie thought about this seriously. "No, I don't think so, Angelo, as long as we have balance for it. We live in a shitty world sometimes. Other times, it's beautiful. We need to try and hold all that at once. I don't think that what you want to do is going to hurt anyone and right now, I think people need to feel like they're not as weak as they were that night. I just really feel that we need balance and the best way you can help that is by doing other things with us too and taking advantage of the beautiful parts of life as well."

"I can do that", Angelo said softly. "Could do with the reminder..."

"I think we all could. I don't want to lose you to this any more than I do anyone else. I want you to get to keep balance too. It's all in how we do it, you know? If we learn to shoot a gun because it's worth knowing how to do, there's no harm. If we learn to shoot because we don't have faith in there being any safety left in the world, that's going to hurt. I think we can do this, though," Marie told him. "I have faith in all of us."

Angelo smiled, at least partly reassured. "Don't know if I've got that kinda faith. But I'll work on it."

"I'll cover that for both of us then," Marie said. "You work on getting better. And if you want to appreciate something beautiful, you can always start with Paige, right? That can't be too hard." The smile she gave him was purely impish.

Angelo laughed. "No, no hardship there." He paused, before adding simply, "Marie? Thanks."

"You're welcome. Any time. Can you handle a hug?" she asked him, holding out her arms. "I've been dying to give you one."

"Oh, I think I can manage that", he answered lightly, freeing himself from the bedclothes to swing his legs over the side, so as to hug her more easily.

"Fantastic." Marie wrapped her arms around Angelo and hugged him close. "Oh, it's so good to see you so well."

"Feels pretty good from this side, too", he joked, hugging her back warmly. "They tell me I'll be out of here pretty soon, if Amanda can keep this up."

"I can't wait." Marie stepped back, her hands on his shoulders, to look him over. "This is... good. Really, really good. Are you going to be able to get some sleep or did you want me to stay for a while?"

"Stay, if you don't need the sleep yourself", Angelo requested. "Could use the company."

"Sure. Want me to get some cards?" Marie offered. "I know where Hank keeps them."

Angelo brightened noticeably. "Cards! Yes!" He fell silent for a moment, before asking mischievously, "Don't s'pose he's got any other contraband stashed down here that he wouldn't miss?"

"I don't think so," Marie said, crossing her arms over her chest and looking mock-sternly at Angelo. "But I know I could come up with some serious junk food. Can you cope without the illegal substances and nicotine?"

"Looks like I'll have to, doesn't it?" he said lightly. "Till I can convince someone to get some past the Doc, at least."

"Hold out a little longer, you'll be out soon. It'll be that much better when you are." Marie headed for the door. "I'll be right back."