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xp_logsBackdated to Monday morning. Seeing the report Nathan's finally left in the database regarding his experience with SHIELD, Kyle stops down at the boathouse for something of a heart-to-heart.
He was beginning to appreciate just what an evil genius his wife was. It was technically possible to angst while one was scraping wallpaper off the walls of one's daughter's bedroom, but erasing overly cheery-looking anthropomorphic critters from existence with a few careful slashes was entirely too satisfying. Nathan suppressed a smile, wondering what that said about him.
He'd get the one wall done, he told himself, and then - #Come in, Kyle,# he projected to the mind that had appeared on the dock. #I'm in Ray's bedroom.#
"Death to pastel zoo animals?" Kyle paused in the doorway, watching the destruction of the wallpaper and wondering just how much glee Nate was putting into it, because he was definitely taking on the wallpaper with enthusiasm. "What did innocent purple giraffes ever do to you, dude?" It was very much a rhetorical question, given what he'd read, and even if not, stress relief via destruction was a long-held tradition. Kyle engaged in it himself all the time.
"We're... redecorating." Nathan's voice came out more steady than he'd expected. The butterflies in his stomach were... pretty close to out and out nausea, actually. The chances of Kyle being here, right now, for any other reasons than him having read the report Nathan had put in the database this morning seemed pretty slim. "Ray wants princesses."
"Better than Diego." Kyle muttered. "Manuel's sister has a toddler-crush on Diego, but at least she's picking up some English." He explained. "So, did Doc Moira rat me out, or did I rat myself out? Cause if I'm due for being laked, I wanna know if it's my own fault or if I can blame your wife." Not that he really minded lakings, even in the winter, but it was the principle of the thing. And he hadn't missed the slight waver in Nate's voice, so casual and friendly was definitely on Kyle's mind.
"No laking necessary," Nathan murmured, scraping at a blue hippo. Not looking at Kyle. He literally could not bring himself to turn around and meet the younger man's eyes. And not just because he was half-afraid there'd be dead kids standing behind him pointing at him accusingly and asking Why did he get to be saved? with their empty eyes. The noise that slipped out wasn't quite a laugh, and Nathan floundered a little, trying to cover it. "I mean, if you wanted to be laked, I could oblige, but it's pretty cold and you've had hypothermia due to me once already."
"Water's not cold enough for hypothermia. And I did rat you out." And okay, maybe other people had too, but Kyle had admitted it. "I mean, if I was being justifiably an emo muppet and someone ratted me out to Jan, I'd probably consider laking them." He leaned in the doorway, very deliberately not getting inside the room, much less Nate's personal space. "So, can I be totally blunt? Cause otherwise I'm gonna have to leave and come back when I've figured out how not to be totally blunt and that might take until I've graduated college or something."
Nathan squared his shoulders, taking a deep breath, and set down the scraper. "Fire away," he said quietly, turning towards Kyle finally.
"Okay, first of all, if you had laked me, I was gonna bribe someone into laking you back for not telling anyone what happened. Probably new kid, Julian, cause I'm not sure anyone besides a teek could and he owes me for the tetris-woodpile stuff." Kyle said, holding up a finger to count. "Cause dude, what the hell? Second, I don't care if you're done with that non-lethal scenario thing, I'm not." Which he hadn't said before, but then again, he'd been doing his best not to back out of the room slowly.
Nathan's head jerked up at that, and people much less perceptive than Kyle would have noticed the fracturing around the edges of his composure. "I didn't ever say that you should be," he said, rattled.
"Yeah, but I suck at programming the Danger Room, and it was your scenario thing." Kyle explained, somewhat less vehemently than he had been a moment before. "But mostly, you know, when Lense told me I was the only one who made it out, this guy I know, he's a pretty kick-ass telekinetic, has this big glowy bird thing, he pretty much made sure I wasn't gonna be all survivor-guilt emo, and so I kinda owe him."
Nathan blinked rapidly, looking away again. He went over and sat down on the edge of Rachel's soon-to-be-replaced bed, folding his hands together to hide their unsteadiness. "My head knows you're right," he finally said. "Or at least, the logical part of me does. Although." He shook his head a little. "The most logical part of me is hiding in a corner, I think," he went on, more quietly. "When it was happening, my tactical personality was just talking constantly. It's been years since it's been that vocal. But when he-Alpha, whoever the hell he was-" Bloodstains on shirtsleeves. Nathan blinked the afterimage away and forced himself to continue. "When he threatened those kids, dead silence. Then nothing until it was telling me I wasn't allowed to lie there and die."
"Was there anything it could've done? I mean, mine's just there when shit hits the fan, and I'm gonna die, but mine's, you know, special." And obviously by special, Kyle meant closer to 'strange and weird and possibly soft in the brain meats'. "I mean, yeah, no dying for you because that would suck hard, but your powers were shut off, you were in a crap situation, and there was shit all you or it could do, right?" Not that Kyle thought Nate didn't know this, but thinking it and hearing it were two different things.
"Shit all," Nathan echoed softly, rubbing at the nearly-healed weal along his temple. There was going to be a scar. But then, there always was, wasn't there? "Doesn't really help. My powers were-" His expression wavered for a moment, before reforming into that semi-composed mask. "Well, they were back for long enough to feel most of them die."
Kyle winced. "Dude, it sounds like they were setting you up to not just fail but fail hard and feel every second of it." His list of people that deserved being thrown under a speeding train was growing by the month. "Which, I dunno how smart that is, I mean, they were just as likely to get pissed-off-Cable as kinda-depressed-Cable. Which is not good for, you know, them not spending time with eleventy-nine broken bones."
Nathan eyed him for a moment. "Kyle," he finally said, "they were looking to achieve a dead Cable. I'm just lucky I took a bullet to the head and they were in a rush to get out of there before SHIELD showed up." His expression tightened, because thoughts like that led to thoughts about what would happen if - when? - Taygetos found out he wasn't dead.
"They picked a shitty way to make sure you were dead then. Which leads to pissed-off-Cable, so just sayin' that their plans are not-so-great. I mean, if I can figure out how their plans suck, it's pretty obvious their plans suck." It took Kyle a few moments to figure out how he wanted to say that, because he was fairly sure quoting the Evil Overlord List would probably end badly for him. "I know this. I mean, if you want someone dead, you take the time to make sure they are really for reals dead, because otherwise they come back to bite you in the ass and teleport you to Vermont." He recognized that maybe it wasn't the best example, but the principle seemed strong enough.
"They probably figured blowing up the building would make sure," Nathan mumbled. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate what Kyle was trying to do - although being the recipient of the logic was a reversal of roles - but he just couldn't bring himself to respond to it. "These people aren't that dumb, if they've stayed hidden this long. And they're ruthless. They wiped out those kids because I might have affected them..." Nathan was blinking rapidly again.
Without saying anything, Kyle pulled a travel-sized pack of kleenex from his jeans pocket and tossed it towards Nate. Smog and gas fumes caused him sinus hell, so he'd tended to keep them on his person to try to lessen the violent sneeze attacks that he'd have after getting stuck in traffic behind a city bus. "Okay, so they're ruthless, you know more about them, what are we doing about it? Cause dude, the entire reason I got a set of black leathers is because I am really kinda sick of this kinda shit. No more brainwashed kids, no more kids with tactical whatevers in their heads, no more kidnappings."
"Are you really not getting this?" Nathan said, his voice shaking. "They slaughtered the rest of that SHIELD team and all those kids because of what I have in my head. Because it can deprive them of their product - and that's all it can do, Kyle. I tested it-I used it on the girl SHIELD had in custody, and it left her a vegetable. I can't wave my magical Trojan Horse wand and save them."
"Yes, I FUCKING get it, and I don't get why the hell there's nothing we can do!" Kyle answered through gritted teeth. "I read that whole thing twice, I get what happened, your Trojan Horse doesn't work, so we find something that does. I don't get why you're just gonna give up! How come it has to be you doing all the go in and save everyone?"
"It doesn't have to be." He deserved this. He deserved every bit of this. "But I've filed my report - I'm going to let Charles go over it with me telepathically, to get any details I might have missed and pass them on to SHIELD." And he was looking forward to that with a sort of dread he hadn't felt in a long time. "I don't know what else I can do right now."
"And they tell me I'm king of the impatient people. God, I'm gonna have an entire extra therapy session on how it's making me crazy that I have to sit still and wait for a good plan and I thought I was the only one going crazy from that." It was a little relieving to know that the people he looked up to were just as impatient sometimes and as unsatisfied with having to wait until a better time. It made Kyle feel just a little less crazy. "This is why no one lets me learn how to fly the plane. Because I would totally be flying off half-cocked to, I dunno, do something sneaky, I guess."
"Flying off half-cocked is overrated," Nathan said softly, rubbing at his hip. "And good intentions only take you so far."
He was beginning to appreciate just what an evil genius his wife was. It was technically possible to angst while one was scraping wallpaper off the walls of one's daughter's bedroom, but erasing overly cheery-looking anthropomorphic critters from existence with a few careful slashes was entirely too satisfying. Nathan suppressed a smile, wondering what that said about him.
He'd get the one wall done, he told himself, and then - #Come in, Kyle,# he projected to the mind that had appeared on the dock. #I'm in Ray's bedroom.#
"Death to pastel zoo animals?" Kyle paused in the doorway, watching the destruction of the wallpaper and wondering just how much glee Nate was putting into it, because he was definitely taking on the wallpaper with enthusiasm. "What did innocent purple giraffes ever do to you, dude?" It was very much a rhetorical question, given what he'd read, and even if not, stress relief via destruction was a long-held tradition. Kyle engaged in it himself all the time.
"We're... redecorating." Nathan's voice came out more steady than he'd expected. The butterflies in his stomach were... pretty close to out and out nausea, actually. The chances of Kyle being here, right now, for any other reasons than him having read the report Nathan had put in the database this morning seemed pretty slim. "Ray wants princesses."
"Better than Diego." Kyle muttered. "Manuel's sister has a toddler-crush on Diego, but at least she's picking up some English." He explained. "So, did Doc Moira rat me out, or did I rat myself out? Cause if I'm due for being laked, I wanna know if it's my own fault or if I can blame your wife." Not that he really minded lakings, even in the winter, but it was the principle of the thing. And he hadn't missed the slight waver in Nate's voice, so casual and friendly was definitely on Kyle's mind.
"No laking necessary," Nathan murmured, scraping at a blue hippo. Not looking at Kyle. He literally could not bring himself to turn around and meet the younger man's eyes. And not just because he was half-afraid there'd be dead kids standing behind him pointing at him accusingly and asking Why did he get to be saved? with their empty eyes. The noise that slipped out wasn't quite a laugh, and Nathan floundered a little, trying to cover it. "I mean, if you wanted to be laked, I could oblige, but it's pretty cold and you've had hypothermia due to me once already."
"Water's not cold enough for hypothermia. And I did rat you out." And okay, maybe other people had too, but Kyle had admitted it. "I mean, if I was being justifiably an emo muppet and someone ratted me out to Jan, I'd probably consider laking them." He leaned in the doorway, very deliberately not getting inside the room, much less Nate's personal space. "So, can I be totally blunt? Cause otherwise I'm gonna have to leave and come back when I've figured out how not to be totally blunt and that might take until I've graduated college or something."
Nathan squared his shoulders, taking a deep breath, and set down the scraper. "Fire away," he said quietly, turning towards Kyle finally.
"Okay, first of all, if you had laked me, I was gonna bribe someone into laking you back for not telling anyone what happened. Probably new kid, Julian, cause I'm not sure anyone besides a teek could and he owes me for the tetris-woodpile stuff." Kyle said, holding up a finger to count. "Cause dude, what the hell? Second, I don't care if you're done with that non-lethal scenario thing, I'm not." Which he hadn't said before, but then again, he'd been doing his best not to back out of the room slowly.
Nathan's head jerked up at that, and people much less perceptive than Kyle would have noticed the fracturing around the edges of his composure. "I didn't ever say that you should be," he said, rattled.
"Yeah, but I suck at programming the Danger Room, and it was your scenario thing." Kyle explained, somewhat less vehemently than he had been a moment before. "But mostly, you know, when Lense told me I was the only one who made it out, this guy I know, he's a pretty kick-ass telekinetic, has this big glowy bird thing, he pretty much made sure I wasn't gonna be all survivor-guilt emo, and so I kinda owe him."
Nathan blinked rapidly, looking away again. He went over and sat down on the edge of Rachel's soon-to-be-replaced bed, folding his hands together to hide their unsteadiness. "My head knows you're right," he finally said. "Or at least, the logical part of me does. Although." He shook his head a little. "The most logical part of me is hiding in a corner, I think," he went on, more quietly. "When it was happening, my tactical personality was just talking constantly. It's been years since it's been that vocal. But when he-Alpha, whoever the hell he was-" Bloodstains on shirtsleeves. Nathan blinked the afterimage away and forced himself to continue. "When he threatened those kids, dead silence. Then nothing until it was telling me I wasn't allowed to lie there and die."
"Was there anything it could've done? I mean, mine's just there when shit hits the fan, and I'm gonna die, but mine's, you know, special." And obviously by special, Kyle meant closer to 'strange and weird and possibly soft in the brain meats'. "I mean, yeah, no dying for you because that would suck hard, but your powers were shut off, you were in a crap situation, and there was shit all you or it could do, right?" Not that Kyle thought Nate didn't know this, but thinking it and hearing it were two different things.
"Shit all," Nathan echoed softly, rubbing at the nearly-healed weal along his temple. There was going to be a scar. But then, there always was, wasn't there? "Doesn't really help. My powers were-" His expression wavered for a moment, before reforming into that semi-composed mask. "Well, they were back for long enough to feel most of them die."
Kyle winced. "Dude, it sounds like they were setting you up to not just fail but fail hard and feel every second of it." His list of people that deserved being thrown under a speeding train was growing by the month. "Which, I dunno how smart that is, I mean, they were just as likely to get pissed-off-Cable as kinda-depressed-Cable. Which is not good for, you know, them not spending time with eleventy-nine broken bones."
Nathan eyed him for a moment. "Kyle," he finally said, "they were looking to achieve a dead Cable. I'm just lucky I took a bullet to the head and they were in a rush to get out of there before SHIELD showed up." His expression tightened, because thoughts like that led to thoughts about what would happen if - when? - Taygetos found out he wasn't dead.
"They picked a shitty way to make sure you were dead then. Which leads to pissed-off-Cable, so just sayin' that their plans are not-so-great. I mean, if I can figure out how their plans suck, it's pretty obvious their plans suck." It took Kyle a few moments to figure out how he wanted to say that, because he was fairly sure quoting the Evil Overlord List would probably end badly for him. "I know this. I mean, if you want someone dead, you take the time to make sure they are really for reals dead, because otherwise they come back to bite you in the ass and teleport you to Vermont." He recognized that maybe it wasn't the best example, but the principle seemed strong enough.
"They probably figured blowing up the building would make sure," Nathan mumbled. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate what Kyle was trying to do - although being the recipient of the logic was a reversal of roles - but he just couldn't bring himself to respond to it. "These people aren't that dumb, if they've stayed hidden this long. And they're ruthless. They wiped out those kids because I might have affected them..." Nathan was blinking rapidly again.
Without saying anything, Kyle pulled a travel-sized pack of kleenex from his jeans pocket and tossed it towards Nate. Smog and gas fumes caused him sinus hell, so he'd tended to keep them on his person to try to lessen the violent sneeze attacks that he'd have after getting stuck in traffic behind a city bus. "Okay, so they're ruthless, you know more about them, what are we doing about it? Cause dude, the entire reason I got a set of black leathers is because I am really kinda sick of this kinda shit. No more brainwashed kids, no more kids with tactical whatevers in their heads, no more kidnappings."
"Are you really not getting this?" Nathan said, his voice shaking. "They slaughtered the rest of that SHIELD team and all those kids because of what I have in my head. Because it can deprive them of their product - and that's all it can do, Kyle. I tested it-I used it on the girl SHIELD had in custody, and it left her a vegetable. I can't wave my magical Trojan Horse wand and save them."
"Yes, I FUCKING get it, and I don't get why the hell there's nothing we can do!" Kyle answered through gritted teeth. "I read that whole thing twice, I get what happened, your Trojan Horse doesn't work, so we find something that does. I don't get why you're just gonna give up! How come it has to be you doing all the go in and save everyone?"
"It doesn't have to be." He deserved this. He deserved every bit of this. "But I've filed my report - I'm going to let Charles go over it with me telepathically, to get any details I might have missed and pass them on to SHIELD." And he was looking forward to that with a sort of dread he hadn't felt in a long time. "I don't know what else I can do right now."
"And they tell me I'm king of the impatient people. God, I'm gonna have an entire extra therapy session on how it's making me crazy that I have to sit still and wait for a good plan and I thought I was the only one going crazy from that." It was a little relieving to know that the people he looked up to were just as impatient sometimes and as unsatisfied with having to wait until a better time. It made Kyle feel just a little less crazy. "This is why no one lets me learn how to fly the plane. Because I would totally be flying off half-cocked to, I dunno, do something sneaky, I guess."
"Flying off half-cocked is overrated," Nathan said softly, rubbing at his hip. "And good intentions only take you so far."
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