Kyle and Cammie, snacktime

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Cammie and Kyle compare strange eating habits. Kyle still manages to be a hypocrite about it, but somewhat curious as well.



Classes had started, and while he hadn't taken anything that seemed like it would kick his brain's ass, an injury and a mission and Jay losing his shit had put Kyle back on his "Get stuff done as soon as possible so there's no chance of forgetting' habit of doing homework as soon as he got it, even if it meant doing it while he ate. Which why exactly why he was taking up three-people's worth of space at the table in the kitchen, with two textbooks spread out, his laptop open, and two bowls, one full of pita chips, and the other of raw ground beef.

He smelled Cammie before he heard her, she was one of the residents that had a fairly unique smell, no worse than Kurt's perpetual slight smell of sulphur, but still very distinctive, and looked up from the pages he'd been re-reading. "Dude, are you gonna snack on the drain declogger again?"

"Nah, today I'm going for something not as thick," she said, twirling her key to the collection of tasty chemicals. "Believe it or not, drain cleaner isn't even my favorite drink," she said and then got a look at the food on the table on her walk in. "What the hell is that?" Whatever it was wasn't cooked. And people called her weird.

"Ground beef." Kyle had to chew and swallow the food in his mouth before he answered, and he double-checked the bowl just to make sure it hadn't turned into something else in the meantime. Weirder things had happened. "Are you gonna eat like that all the time, or is this just a recovery from being stabbed thing for you?" He sounded halfway to grossed out, and more than a bit curious.

"Nope, no recovery, I eat like this all the time. I mean, you can't complain, you're eating cow-sushi," Cammie pointed out pulling a few things out from underneath the sink and getting a class. Time for a little chemistry, Carmilla style.

Kyle had a pita chip loaded with ground beef halfway to his mouth, and stopped, looking at it, and then at Cammie, and shrugged. "Beef is food, bleach isn't. I draw the line at food that's not food." And then the chip was crammed into his mouth, and he ignored the strange eating habits of the mansion's newest resident for the entire fifteen seconds it took for him to recognize one of the things she was pulling out of the cabinet. "Dude, that's the stuff we use to un-gunk the garbage disposal. What the heck?"

"That's what this stuff is?" Cammie said, taking the cap off and smelling it. It smelled good. It was thick too, if the weight of the bottle told her anything. Unlike things they often marketed as drinks, house hold cleaners and chemicals were never in clear bottles. So you were never quite sure what something looked like until you dumped it in a cup. "Besides, cow-sushi. If it's still bleeding it's not food yet the way most people see it," she took a swig from the un-gunkinator. Hmm, that was pretty good. It would go in the drink she was mixing. "Though I will admit that if I can taste something, you probably don't want to be eating or drinking it."

"Dude, I can't eat some things normal people can eat. I don't even wanna think about the stuff you can eat." Kyle took another bite of chip-and-beef, trying not to smell the chemicals and pay more attention to his food. "I dunno what it is, I just know that it turns 'someone dumped a pot of overcooked rice into the disposal last week and now it's growing stank' into a working disposal again." With as many people as lived in the mansion, industrial strength chemicals were a necessity. "Regular people without fangs and claws eat raw beef, I had to totally write an entire essay about it for cooking class. I mean, okay, not most people but some people. Sometimes. In France."

Cammie started mixing her drink. It was something in and of itself. She was occasionally tempted to light whatever she was mixing on fire, a la drinks in some bars. "Ya don't say," Cammie said as to the last, "I think I do slightly remember some Discovery thing 'bout that," she mused as mixing chemicals. "I suppose I could try that sometime. General rule, as long as it won't rip a hole in my stomach and I can chew it, I can eat it. And if it's out there, I've likely eaten it once. Except sewage, because I totally will not even go there. Cow sushi...that I'd have to be in the mood for. Raw meat is slimy. If I want slimy, I'll eat a slug."

"And your drink smells like Forge's lab after he blows shit up." Kyle taunted back. He almost instantly regreted it because, as he thought, that might actually encourage Cammie, not discourage her. "It's not slimy, it's just soft, and raw. And most of the time I don't eat it ground up, but I don't feel like dealing with a fork right now."

"Oooh, and I believe the drink has been named. Exploding Lab... or not. I should never name drinks," Cammie said, twirling the cup a couple of times before she brought it to her mouth. After a drink, "Naw, raw meat is slimy. Which is because it's all bloody and junk. But hey, if you want to use it to top chips go right ahead. Though you should put some salsa on it or something. Oh, I'd totally sell my soul for a big jar of peppers right now."

Kyle waved his free hand at the fridge and half-shrugged. "There's probably spicy stuff in there. I can't eat it. The claws and fangs were a package deal, 've got turned-up-to-eleven senses, and spicy makes my entire face hurt. But we've got a bunch of folks who like to eat stuff made of like, pure Ow." He made a face at the cup in Cammie's hand. "Also on my no list, bleach, toilet cleaner, and chocolate."

"I'll find it later then," she said as per the spicy stuff, "I'm sure I'll also be cleaning out the fridge, so to speak. Sucks that you can't enjoy the pure and awesome taste of 'ow.' And I'll admit, bleach is an aquired taste. If you dont' aquire it right away it kinda kills you," Cammie grinned, taking another swig of her drink and swishing it around in her mouth a bit.

"Still better than nail polish remover."

"Dude, I draw the line at people eating stuff that other people use to unstick superglue-d fingers!" Or removing nail polish, but that had only been the one time, when he'd fallen asleep and Clarice was Very Bored. "I get plenty of ow in all the other ways." Kyle explained. "I'm not sure drinking bleach would kill me, I heal fast, so for all I know, my gut would just reject it and heal whatever it did to me." He continued to grimace at the cup and made a point to go back to his bowl of ground beef. "Not that I'm trying it anytime, uh, ever, if I can help it."

"Chicken," Cammie said with a smirk. She had the right to tease, or so she felt like in this case. "All the cool kids are doing it. Of course, by all the cool kids, I mean just me. But that's totally all you need as an excuse."

Kyle laughed, shaking his head. "I eat that raw too sometimes. Not as much, if it's not like, warm and right out of the chicken, it -is- kinda slimy." He'd give her that one, it was only fair. "So, how do you feel about motor oil, cause Forge, you've met Forge, right? There was this whole thing with him and waffles while he was working on his car. It was pretty funny, but I kinda gotta wonder if that'd actually work for you?"

"The guy with the robot arm? Yeah I met him; the arm was cool," she said and thought about it, "I don't think I've had motor oil more than once or twice, but yeah, I could eat that. And it would taste okay. I don't remember if it makes a difference if you take it right from the car or right from the bottle," she said seriously.

"But I could see topping waffles with it."

"Straight out of the bottle'd be cleaner. Out of an engine'd be gritty or burnt." Kyle had enough practice changing the oil in his bike that he knew that. "But I'm not sure that burnt'd be a bad thing for you, huh? I dunno..." He was still weirded-out by the contents of Cammie's cup, and her eating habits, but it was like watching a really bad movie. He couldn't stop thinking about it. "But I'm not watching if you eat it."

"Heh, no, I don't think it would make that big of a difference. Just change the flavor, maybe," she mused. "And fair enough," she said, finishing off her drink. "Enjoy your cow-sushi. I'm going to go look for something that's not mooing at me to munch on."