Good for you.

[x-rogue.livejournal.com]

Monday night in which Em gets a snuggle and gives being grownup a miss for the night.

Logan is, as always, sitting in his armchair near the window. For once, he's /not/ looking at the files from the mission to the Rockies. He's just sitting, comfortable in the dark, silent room.

A slight thumping comes on the door. Outside, Marie is holding two mugs of hot chocolate in one hand and a bag of Oreos in the other, bumping the door gently with her foot. "Logan," she says quietly. "Hands are full..."

Logan climbs quickly from his chair, opening the door for her and stepping back. "C'mon in," he says, grinning. "Thanks for bringing up the...hot chocolate. And Oreos."

She gives him an impish grin. "I've decided to give maturity a miss tonight. And you have to have hot chocolate too." She puts the mugs and bag down on the table by the chairs and turns to give him a hug. "I'm tired of being grownup," she confesses.

"Hot chocolate sounds perfect," he murmurs, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. "You don't have to be grownup." He smiles. "I like Oreos."

"I thought you would. They're appallingly bad for you." She sighs deeply and relaxes against him. "I've probably been thinking too hard lately."

He presses a soft kiss to her hair, a chuckle rumbling deep in his chest. "Probably." He runs his hands down her back, smoothing her shirt. "C'mon. Let's go sit down so that we can eat those cookies that're appallingly bad for me."

She gives him a squeeze and waits for him to sit down in his chair, then hands him his hot chocolate. "Hold that," she says imperiously, then picks up her own in one hand, the Oreos in the other, and sits down on his lap. "There."

He grumbles about demanding imps, but does nothing more in complaint than steal the first cookie from the bag. "Comfortable?"

She curls up so that her head is on his shoulder, tucking the bag of Oreos into her lap and wriggling so that she's happy with the arrangement. "Uhuh," she says fishing out a cookie and dunking it in her hot chocolate. "You?"

Twisting the cookie open and licking all the cream from the center, Logan rumbles his assent. He pops a chocolate cookie-half into his mouth and murmurs, "Thanks for coming up."

Marie giggles at him. "Mmm... you're the yang to all the yin of my eastern philosophy books. Balance is important. Like the dark and light..." She waves a cookie at him, then makes a face. "I am thinking WAY too much."

Logan crunches the second half of his cookie, then mutters, "What happened to being a Good Thing? Now I'm the Dark Side. Do I get a funny black helmet, too?"

"I dunno," she says thoughtfully. "Your hair does pretty good on it's own..."

He pokes her in the side. "Thanks." He gulps some of his hot chocolate and steals another cookie, repeating the twist and lick ritual. "I'll practise breathing through a vacuum cleaner tube."

"You do that." Marie ducks her head under his chin like a cat, rubbing her hair against his skin. "Thanks," she says suddenly, sighing happily and sipping at her hot chocolate. "You doing good?"

"I'm good," he assures her, rubbing his chin over her hair and popping a chocolate cookie-half into his mouth. "You?"

"I think I'm okay," she says, looking into her mug, as though she were looking for clues in the hot chocolate. "It's hard to tell, you know? Most of the time I think I'm fine and then... I feel like I've been hit by a truck. And I don't even know if I'm being stupid. I try and forget and have fun with the rest of the kids, and it's just not happening." She chews on her lip for a minute. "Half of me wants to be ten again and the other half wants to be old so maybe I'll have worked it all out."

Logan puts his mug down on the table, then wraps his arms around her, careful not to disturb /her/ mug, and squeezes tightly. "D'you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to say, Logan," she says with a great deal of resignation. "I'm seventeen, almost eighteen, my skin kills people, my latest and second boyfriend ever just came out of the closet, at least to himself, I live with a bunch of messed up mutant kids, and I'm in training to kick ass the in the name of what I really hope is justice. I think life's just gonna suck for a while."

He relaxes his grip on her, but doesn't stop hugging her. "You wanna leave? Go somewhere else, stop being one of the X-Men?" He's silent for a second, then continues. "It's rare, finding people like us, like this." It's not supposed to be an answer to his question, just a statement of fact.

"Where else would I go, Logan?" She pulls away enough to look at him. "What else am I going to do with myself? I didn't even officially finish high school yet. I lived on the road for a while... you know how good that is. At least here, I'm getting educated, right?" She looks uncomfortable. "I... sometimes it doesn't feel like I had a choice to be here. But here I am."

"That's my fault, I guess," he says, looking a little guilty. "But you /are/ about to graduate. You're an X-Man now -- X-Woman, I guess -- but that doesn't mean you /have/ to stay." And, as promised, if she leaves, he will too. But he doesn't remind her of that.

"Not your fault." She touches his face lightly with her gloved fingers. "Erik was already looking for me. You saved me. There wouldn't be a me without a you. And as for staying... I never thought of not staying, but maybe I should, you know? Even if I already know the answer in my heart. Even if I have to wait tables or something to keep on my feet, I could find work, and it's still a choice, right?"

"You can choose to go or you can choose to stay. Decide what you want, where you want to be, what you want to be doing with your life." He's not judging; it took him until very recently to get /his/ priorities in order, to decide what /he/ wants. He's no room to judge.

"I guess I was so damn scared when I got here, I never thought I'd want to leave. But it's dangerous everywhere now, isn't it?" Her face was solemn.

"Yeah, it is. But, here, we can make a difference. I'm not sure that's true, everywhere." He shrugs one shoulder, turning his face into her hand a little.

"I know. And I like that, the making a difference." She rubs his cheek with her thumb. "Would it bother you if I left?"

"I'd miss some of the people here, sure, but I'd live," he says casually.

"Oh." She blinks and shakes her head a little. "I... Logan... " She sighs. "I love you," she says hopelessly. "I wouldn't... no. That's not the point, is it, me asking you to leave or not? I know that. I guess it is my choice, isn't it? I mean... it's not like I'll be alone if I go."

"Like I said before: if you go, I go." Logan grins and shrugs a shoulder. "But it's your decision." He pauses, smiles. "I love you, too, Marie."

"What do you want to do?" she asks, getting out another cookie.

"Be with my family." He lifts his mug, taking a sip. "I like it here. The people, the fact that we've got a /goal/. But that's not what really matters to me."

"So what happens to me if you get married or something?" She ducks her head, looking in her mug again.

Logan snorts. "Yeah, that's a likely thought." He takes another sip of hot chocolate. "I'm not going to leave you behind. Ever. No matter what."

"Are you sure that's good for you?" She doesn't look up at him.

He tugs gently on her hair. "Yes. I'm sure. We talked about this. Family, right?"

"Just making sure." She looks up at last. "Sometimes... I just want to be a Good Thing for you, too, that's all" The emphasis on the words is clear. "Never anything else."

"You are," he assures her, meeting her eyes. "You're a Very Good Thing."

"Okay. Because," she shakes the bag of Oreos at him, "you are not always known for doing the right thing to take care of yourself, Logan. And I'm young and you're going to live longer than me. And I just want to make sure you're doing the right thing for yourself."

Logan snorts and steals a cookie . "Does this mean that I get to do the same to you?" He twists and licks the cookie, then offers her the clean, unlicked half.

She takes it from him and nods. "Of course. I trust you to, even if I don't like what you have to say."

"Good." And then he stops, unsure if he should tell her what he thinks. He decides not to, just yet, and pops the other half of the cookie in his mouth instead.

"Just checking?" she asks, looking up at him. "Or..." She lets the sentence trail off and nibbles on the cookie half he gave her.

"Mostly," he mutters around his cookie, then takes a sip of hot chocolate. "Might need that priviledge sometime, to remind you of what's important." Like if you decide to leave.

"Mmm," she says non-committally. "Well, it's all yours. I promise to listen." She finishes her hot chocolate and puts down her mug, then snuggles up to him. "Thanks for inviting me up."

He tucks her head back under his chin, giving up on the hot chocolate and cookies. "Welcome. Thanks for coming up."

"I just wish I could be all okay at once," she mutters irritably. "I mean... isn't there some point when things give up and stop being hard to live with? One of these days am I going to go a whole twenty-four hours without thinking about my skin?"

"I hope so," he offers, rubbing a hand over her arm. He's not very good at being optimistic, but, for her, he tries.

"Me too. It seems unfair of me to be whining about things when you've got a lot on your mind. I'm sorry. I just know you understand." She stifles a yawn. "I wish I could help you more."

"It's okay. I'm okay. Things are screwed up, but nothing so bad that I'm not okay." He strokes her hair. "But maybe you should get some rest? Sound like you're pretty tired, there."

"Still wish I could help," she says quietly. "But you know that. Yeah, I'm tired. Not sleeping so good, still, I guess. I should let you be, though."

"You can stay as long as you want," he assures her. "Hell, sleep here if you want to. I'll be up all night anyway." And he will. He's been staying up late, reading and rereading the files from the mission to the Rockies, then catching catnaps in the morning and early afternoon.

"Can I? I won't even bug you about being up late if I can stay," she says tiredly. "I just... yeah. Still not with the good sleeping. Not sure anyone really is." She climbs out of his lap and stretches. "I better brush my teeth first like a good little X-Girl and then I'll try and sleep. Back soon. Need anything from the kitchen?" She picks up their mugs.

He grins at the 'X-Girl' comment, then shakes his head. "Nah, I'm good," he says, stretching out his legs to rest his feet in the other chair. "Just come back when you're done. I'll be here." He smiles at her and reaches down to pick up one of the files tucked discreetly beside his chair.

"Okay." She leans over to kiss the top of his head. "Thanks." She gives him a little wave and heads off to get ready for bed.

For Em's roommate(s), this would mean that Monday night, Em comes back to the room and brushes her teeth and puts on her oversized pink flannel (with white bunnies) jammies and says she's spending the night somewhere else and says goodnight.