Amanda & Manuel

[x-empath.livejournal.com]

While Valentia is at school, Manuel sees to Amanda's health. They talk about his lack of libido while he bestows on her a little relief from her injuries.

"I knew you were not well when you said you could not babysit, however, I did not realize how unwell you were. You did not get another hit to the head, did you?" Manuel flicked the kettle on and made the only thing he was exceptionally good at; tea. "For all the people who have been sick or hurt lately, I am running out of tea options and may have to go shopping very soon."

"Tea's in the cupboard on the left," Amanda responded from her couch, where she was lying with an ice pack pressed to the back of her head. Her eyes were red, puffy and sore-looking, like a bad case of hay fever. "And funny you should say that. Some Nazi fucker knocked me out with the butt of a machine gun."

"Well I do hope that someone got to him afterwards," he commented. "I feel as though I am always looking after you. Why is that?" Manuel asked, retrieving the tea and turning over the box, inspecting the name.

"I think so. I was sort of out of it when we left the place and I'm not allowed to use the computer yet." Amanda sounded tired, but not actually cranky - it was actually sort of nice, having Manuel looking after her. "And you feel that way 'cause you never remember the times I'm looking after you."

Judging the tea was acceptable, he set it down to set up the infuser into a pot. "You are right. I was always unconscious when you were looking after me." He seemed to find this amusing and went to the freezer, pulling out another ice pack. He tested it and then reset it back into the freezer, checking to see if another was frozen all over or not.

"I can always go to sleep or something to make it even?" she suggested, with a faint grin. The headache was better than it had been thanks to the painkillers and the icepack, but she still was feeling fragile. "Try the one in the back - that's been there longer." Like all of the Trenchcoats, there was a good supply of ice packs living in her freezer, as well as a well-stocked first aid kit in the bathroom.

"I rather enjoy you awake," he said distractedly and reached into the back of the freezer, finding one that was frozen. With the door snapping shut, Manuel walked over and sat down in the crook of her curvy waist and leaned over, easing a hand under her neck to help her lift. "If you continue to return like this from missions, I may have to start counting your concussions."

"Hey, I've come back perfectly fine most other times!" she protested, but sighing in relief as the soggy icepack was replaced with a fresh one. "Ohh, that's much better. Thanks, Manny. I do appreciate having you here." Her lips twitched a little. "In a perfectly non-romantic sense."

"Yes I know," he said, setting the ice pack aside. He refrained from mentioning the fact that Angelo was not here and should have been. "I apologize for that night. It was late and I was exceptionally irritable. Especially when specific comments are broadcasted by a specific one armed man."

Holding the ice pack to her head with one hand, Amanda lay back on the cushions and reached out for Manuel's hand, to keep him where he sat in case he meant to get up again. "I noticed. What exactly's bugging you so much?"

From his look, she knew had it been anyone else, Manuel would have removed himself from the hand over his immediately. Instead, he stayed where he was. "Indifference, detachment, amongst other minor details." He leaned over her, his elbow on the back of couch and raised a hand to her. His thumb dragged lightly over where it hurt, a small dose of relief spread from him to her, a very faint struggle, but an effort he put forth, concentrating on that spot above her brow.

"You know how often I have reached for someone--" he was not able to finish the sentence.

Another soft sound of relief escaped her at the brush of his powers - and a brief spark of pride in his ability to do it at all. Control was coming, slowly and hard-won, but present. "-- but you're not feeling it, are you?" she replied softly. "That's why you needed to tell me you aren't pining for me. It's because you aren't feeling anything much in that way for anyone, right?"

"A terrible admission for an empath, I know. I feel nothing in terms of affection or even mild interest." His concentration remained over her, studied the direction of the hairs in her eye brows, the colour, the brief base of a white gray she probably knew nothing about. "I know my own emotions, however bending them outwards, being interested--" he shook his head.

She closed her eyes against the gentle touch, perceptibly relaxing. "Actually, it makes perfect sense, Manny. You've spent months without shields, wading through everyone else's emotions. Now you can actually feel your own emotions, it's going to be a while before you feel comfortable sharing them. And love, sex, all of that... it's never been the easiest of rides for you." Her eyes opened, meeting his. "After how the last time being interested in someone turned out, it's not surprising you aren't feeling it at the moment."

His thumb trialed over the bridge of her nose, applying relief there or attempting to, but it spread throughout the region of her entire body to which he withdrew. His control was very minimal and there, he was losing it. "You do know I bear no grudge, yes?" he asked, letting her hand slid from his and got up to the sound of the whistle.

"I know." She watched him as he moved back to the kitchen, definitely feeling better than she had earlier. "But you can't deny it's affected both of us, and we're allowed to acknowledge that without grudges." A small wry smile appeared. "Or so Sofia and Emma keep saying. But yeah, you're messed up, Manny. It's going to take time to heal."

A faint sound of amusement slipped from his lips as he poured the tea and leaned his hip into the counter, waiting for them to steep. "Yes, time is all we seem to have." The infusers were removed, set into the sink and he walked over with one mug first, for her. "I am not waiting anymore. I have waited a long time to feel something for another. I will not wait anymore. There are things I must do, with or without it. And there are things you must stop doing, or you will not have your head on your shoulders for very long."

"Then don't wait. Get on with your life. Just don't beat yourself up 'cause there's things you still aren't 100% on. Even if you are Mr. Perfectionist." She smiled as he handed her the tea, curling her hands around the mug. "Thanks, Manny. And I'm doing fine. Just fucked up, is all. Next time, I won't."

He gave her a pointed look before he left her to retrieve his own drink. "We seem to carry the 'fucked up' trait very well, do we not?" he asked, quoting the language that always rolled off her tongue easily.

"Takes one to know one?" she replied lightly. "Considering where we come from, what's been done to us, what we've done... I think we're doing better than we should expect to."

In a nearby chair, Manuel settled with his tea. "No excuses here," he replied.