Catseye, Kevin, Kyle, Lex

[x-catseye.livejournal.com]

Kevin comforts Catseye on the roof of the treehouse as the catgirl is moping and completely self-absorbed in her identity issues.

The woods were very crowded these days, so Catseye was hiding on the roof of the treehouse in cat form. The form wasn't any more comforting than girlform was, but at least it was smaller and thus easier to hide. She was trying to gather up her courage to leave the mansion and go live on her own, where there were no humans or cats. She'd read about Greenland in some document for Elpis. Did Greenland have cats? Or people? Her tail thrashed as her thoughts barraged her mind angrily.

"Hey, 'Vette, you up here?" Kevin climbed up into the treehouse looking for his friend, wanting to see if she had come out of her post-inhibitor isolation at all. There was an apple in one gloved hand as he finally got up into the treehouse properly, but there was no Yvette in sight. Then he caught a flash of purple out of the corner of his eye and went to the side to peer up onto the roof. "Hey Fuzzy, you hidin' out? Seen 'Vette 'round here at all?"

Catseye hissed at Kevin, before reminding herself that it was Kevin and that she liked Kevin. She shifted reluctantly and leaned over the side of the roof. "No, Catseye has not. Can Kevin go away please because Catseye does not want to talk to anyone and yes Catseye is hiding."

Kevin frowned and did not go away. Instead he held up the apple. "Want an apple?" What, it worked when Yvette did it!

"Catseye does not know if she wants an apple. Humans want apples. Cats do not. Catseye does not know because Catseye does not know if she is a human or an animal."

Kevin frowned again. "Catseye's a human and a cat. Ya don't gotta be one or the other, Fuzzy. Why can't ya just be Catseye?"

She kicked her heels into the side of the treehouse irritably. "Because cats do not like Catseye and because humans do not like Catseye either!"

"'Cause they're stupid." He climbed up on the roof with her despite his lack of invitation. "Ah like ya. Tons of other people like you too. So who's in the anti-Catseye club?"

The catgirl glared daggers at Kevin but didn't move away when he climbed up next to her. "Cats in the city. They will not play with Catseye because Catseye is not really a cat. And lots of humans don't like Catseye especially when they first meet Catseye because Catseye does not know all the rules to being a human and Catseye upsets them, especially if they meet Catseye as a cat and then she turns into a girl!" Her voice was rising in her agitation, tail lashing more violently, so much so that it nearly hit Kevin.

He watched the tail and pulled the hood of his long sleeved shirt up over his head. Catseye was never this agitated when Kevin saw her, not that he saw her terribly often. "Plenty of people don't like me just 'cause of the accent. Or they think Ah'm mutterin' stuff on purpose 'cause they can't hear me half the time. People don't like 'Vette 'cause she's red an' spikey. People didn't like Miser Sefton for lookin' like he does. There's always people that don't like yah. Ain't really the important thing though."

"It's not the same! Kevin and Yvette and Mister Sefton are human!" she lamented, moving a little further away from Kevin when he put his hood up, realizing she was too close. "They know how to be human. Even if some people do not like them for how they look at least they know how to be human! They still belong. Catseye does not. Catseye only knows how to be a cat but the cats do not like Catseye anymore because she is too human! Catseye does not belong! Catseye does not understand what is more important than belonging somewhere."

"Bein' loved," was the quiet and sincere response she got. "Someone lovin' ya for whatever you are's a lot more important than belonging. Belonging doesn't matter that much. People do lots of stupid things to belong. Always makes them miserable." Then Kevin added, "And happy. Bein' happy's more important too."

Catseye didn't know about this love thing. She didn't understand that at all. But she understood about happy. "Catseye is not happy. Because Catseye thought she understood, but Catseye does not understand anything. Catseye does not know who she is if she cannot be a cat or a girl." She shifted back into catform again and curled up into a ball on the treehouse roof, signaling that she did not wish to discuss it anymore.

Kevin sighed and looked down at the little purple cat. A gloved hand stroked down her spine, attempting to comfort her or something since he was totally failing that with words. Kevin always treated Catseye like a cat, even when she was a girl with kitty ears and a tail, because a cat he could deal with. "Sorry Ah'm no help. Ah'll leave ya alone, Fuzzy." He added a few more pets and then climbed down off the roof, taking the apple with him. "You'll figure it out. Cheer up, emo cat."

***


After running into Kevin, Catseye tries to hide deeper in the woods but purple is hard to hide and she is no match for Kyle's powers of observation.


Since encountering Kevin, Catseye had retreated far into the woods, where she hoped no one could find her. She was still in catform because it was easier to hide than in girlform, and was midway up a tree, hiding in the foliage, watching deer and rabbits, although she was staring at them in a manner more thoughtful than predatory. She was wondering if they were happy being what they were. Did they even have thoughts about the possibility of being something different? She didn't even know. The catgirl had never really been able to gauge the complete level of intelligence in other animals, because she'd never been an animal. She'd always had human intelligence to accompany her catform. She'd never belonged.




Purple-on-green was not at all hard to notice. Sometimes Kyle
half-wondered if the changes to hair or skin color that came with
mutations were related. And sometimes he figured it just made no
goddamn sense. Actually, that was most of the time. DNA was confusing.
He hadn't even been looking for Catseye, just taking some private
time to calm down after a spectacularly un-fun encounter with the
Stepfords and their broken shower door. But she was hard to miss, and
Kyle had half expected to be pounced or jumped on or engaged in some
form of 'chase', and instead, it didn't even seem like she'd noticed
him halfway up another tree.

Which was just weird. And a good indication that something was wrong -
and Kyle wasn't stupid, or unobservant, even if he played at it an
awful lot.

He dropped off his own branch after putting his book and snacks back
in his bookbag, and padded over to where he could look up at Catseye,
with a questioning sort of look on his face. "You up for talking
about it?"





Catseye shifted, legs dangling from the tree as she glared down at Kyle. "No. Catseye does not want to talk. Catseye just wants to run away forever to a place where there are no cats and no humans!" she exclaimed passionately.



"That's probably not gonna help whatever's wrong." Kyle suggested.
"I mean, no humans is no books, no cars, no pastrami..." He thought
for a moment and then added. "And no cats means ... uh, I dunno what
that'd mean because I can't think of anywhere that doesn't have cats.
You sure you don't wanna talk about it instead?"




"No! And Catseye does not care about books or cars or pastrami or cats because Catseye does not want any of it anymore! No more human or cat things because Catseye is not a human or a cat! Catseye does not belong anywhere!"


Funny, she sure was talking about it a lot for someone who didn't want
to. Seemingly absently, Kyle pulled a rubber band out of his bookbag
and pulled his hair back into a tail. "Who says? I mean, if somebody
told you that, they're full of shit." He sat down on the ground under
the tree and propped his feet up on the trunk. "So, if you're not
gonna be a human or a cat, what are you gonna do?"




"No one said," she explained, tail lashing angrily behind her. "Catseye went to play with some cats in the city and they would not play with Catseye. Catseye is not like a cat anymore. But Catseye is not a human either because Catseye is always doing the wrong thing and Catseye does not know all the rules. Catseye wants to run away where she is nothing and does not have to try and belong anywhere!"


"So nobody but you thinks that?" Kyle asked. He didn't sit up, just
shifted to get a better look up the tree. "Maybe they didn't want to
play with you because they're stuck up and stupid. Or because you're
new. Or maybe because you're not really a cat, but dude, I'm pretty
sure that's not a good reason to go hide and be nothing. Sides, I'd
miss you."




"Catseye tried with other cats after the first cats. Lots of cats. None of them would let Catseye be a cat with them. Because like Kyle says. Catseye is not a cat. And people at the mansion think Catseye is not a human either. Especially when they are new. They think Catseye is not a human or a cat, just something that upsets people and makes people mad! That is a verygood reason to go hide and be nothing! Catseye will miss Kyle too but Catseye does not belong at the mansion or anywhere."


"You're just as human as I am." Kyle said. Hair tied back, the points
of his ears were visible, and barefoot and barehanded, the claws were
out, and in the case of his feet, digging into the bark of the tree.

"New people will get used to it, just like they'll get used to Cammie
eating mold, Forge being ... Forge, and me eating raw ground beef for
a snack. It's not a good reason to go away and be nothing, it's a good
reason to make them deal with it so they can deal with it in other
people."


"But they do not want to deal," Catseye answered, thinking of her situation with Sarah, how she'd tried to help Sarah understand that she had to deal with unusual mutants at the mansion and how the new girl had gone to Jean-Paul to complain about Catseye. "When Catseye tries to help they get upset and then people tell Catseye she makes people upset and Mister Beaubier tries to help Catseye understand humans so she won't upset people but still! Catseye always does something wrong!" It was like the Nick situation, too, she lamented. She'd kissed him, and he said he wasn't upset, but then he started ignoring her and Johnny said it was because kissing the way Catseye had done it meant that she wanted to be more than friends with Nick, something she hadn't intended to convey. "Cammie and Forge and Kyle eat funny things and make funny things but they do not do wrong things. They understand humans. Catseye still does not. And Catseye thinks she never will. Catseye only understands cats but Catseye is not a cat anymore." Her eyes were getting wet, and she swiped at them with a hand, uncomfortable.



"If they don't want to deal it's their problem!" Kyle responded. "I
eat funny things because that's who I am. I don't wear shoes because
that's who I am. You don't understand how people act because that's
who you are, and that's not your fault! Fuck, you've only spent what,
four years around people? So in four years, you've learned to pretty
much be a person and now everyone's getting on you for details?
Catseye, that's not you screwing up, that's you making a crazy amount
of progress! Four years and you're learning to drive! You're reading
Shakespeare. If people can't damn well accept that you're learning,
they need to shut the goddamn hell up!"


The catgirl sniffled a little as she looked down at Kyle, eyes widening at his speech. "Catseye thinks it is her fault," she said finally, when she could think of something to say. She didn't like that she was making Kyle yell, that he seemed to be getting upset, but she couldn't help how she felt. "Catseye used to bite and thwapp humans who did not know The Way Things Are for cats. So Catseye thinks if humans get angry when Catseye does not understand all The Ways Things Are for humans, then it is the same thing. They get mad. Catseye tries, but sometimes Catseye thinks she is not learning anything except that she is always doing things wrong, Sometimes Catseye does not feel like she makes progress at all in learning The Way Things Are." And she wasn't sure if she wanted to try anymore.

"How is it your fault that you spent your first fourteen years not
around people? You didn't know!" Kyle patted the ground next to him.
"The reason people get mad is because they don't know that you didn't
get to learn this stuff from like, the first day you were born. And
hell, Catseye, most people who don't get that don't even learn to read
or write. Some of them don't even learn to talk. People expect a lot
out of you because you're totally doing way more than what a lot of
books and studies say you should be able to do."





The purple-haired figure shimmied down the tree trunk and flopped down next to Kyle, burrowing into his side. She felt like she was finally beginning to understand why people got mad, and that if he was right and people expected her to be either a statistic in a book about people who matured without human contact or a model human, most people would never understand her.



“Mister Beaubier said that Catseye should tell people things about Catseye so that they will understand Catseye," she told him. "Catseye thinks telling people she did not learn how to be human from the day she was born would help when they are mad about it, but Catseye does not want to tell people because Catseye does not want people to think she is mad at the fatherperson or sad for throwing her out. Even though Catseye is mad.” But being angry didn’t help. It didn’t make her learn how to be a human any faster. And it didn’t make her any more resolved to try to be human. “People who get mad are sillystupid,” she said, lumping herself into this category and sounding defeated. “Catseye is not things in a book, or a study,” she mumbled plaintively into his chest.


"No, you're not. But, if you want to read about it, there's books on
it. I had to do a paper." Kyle offered. A paper that had really
pissed him off because it hadn't been on the syllabus until after the
semester started, and Kyle was pretty sure it had gotten added just
because he'd used the word 'feral' a few times and his psychology
professor had objected. "I think that telling people's gonna help,
but I also think that maybe you're just gonna have to accept that some
people are dumb and aren't gonna care. People kinda suck that way
sometimes."



Burrowing more closely against Kyle's side, she heaved a tired sigh. "Kyle is not people who suck." Curiously, she dug her tail into his bookbag to pull out some snacks. "Catseye does not want to accept that some people are dumb and won't care. Catseye does not want to accept that she is not a cat anymore. But Catseye thinks she has to because she does not want to be nothing, and she does not want to leave Kyle and her friends." She nearly sobbed again, but bit her lip to fight back the urge to cry. "Is it okay if Catseye stays in the woods a little more? Catseye still has to think a lot."




Kyle leaned up a little, weight on an elbow. "Are you gonna mope if
you stay out here? Because if you're gonna mope, I'm gonna be a pain
in the butt and bug you." Kyle knew better than to think he could
cheer her up just like that, but he also wasn't sure this was a good
time for Catseye to be left alone. "You're still a cat, sometimes.
And you're a human being sometimes. You're just more than that too.
It's... there's a saying that something's more than the sum of it's
parts. That's totally you. More than just a cat or just a person."



Catseye ate some of his snacks and frowned. "Yes, Catseye is going to mope. Because Catseye does not know how to be more than just a cat or just a human. Catseye does not know how to be what she is. But Kyle can bug Catseye if he wants to," she assured him. "Catseye is happy when Kyle bugs her because Kyle says very sneakysmart things and very nice things and Catseye thinks Kyle is special but Catseye is not going to kiss Kyle because Catseye and Kyle are just friends not a couple." That was one lesson she did understand, thanks to Monet and Johnny.



"Also because Kyle has a girlfriend that he likes already." Kyle
explained. "Also wait a second, is there a kissing thing? Was there a
kissing thing?" He sat up further with his weight on both elbows.
"All this not-a-person not-a-cat thing isn't because of someone
kissing you or you kissing someone, is it?"


"No it is not all because of kissing," she answered, shaking her head. "It is because cats do not think Catseye is a cat like them, but Catseye does not feel like a human either because of the sillystupid things she does because of not learning from when she was born how to be a human. But one of the sillystupid things was kissing, yesyes," she explained, wrinkling her nose. "Catseye kissed Nick because Nick said Catseye was special and Catseye wanted to say thank you and in the movie Nick and Yvette and Catseye watched when Patrick thought Kat was special she kissed him so Catseye thought kissing was for saying thank you but now Catseye knows it is for couples and people who are... attracted.

"If Kyle likes his girlfriend that means he is a couple with her but he can still like Catseye for friends, yes?" Nick had said this was possible, when he explained that he wasn't attracted to Yvette but was still her friend, but Catseye thought Kyle knew more about this than Nick did, because Kyle was older and didn't have trouble saying words when the subject was brought up, it seemed.


"Yep, it's fine. You're still my friend." Not that Kyle didn't find

Catseye hot, because he so did, but it felt wrong sometimes. "It's...
okay, like, Jan's my friend but also my girlfriend. Clarice was my
friend, and then she was my girlfriend and now she's just my friend
again. Like when you put cheese on a sandwich, it's layers." The
metaphor made sense in his head.

Then the rest of the conversation caught up with Kyle's brain. "Wait,
you kissed Nick. Like turns into a wolfman Nick, mister awkward guy?
Is this gonna be like a more kissing thing, or was it just a one time
kissing thing?" Maybe he was a little focused on the kissing part,
but it was Catseye and she was one of his friends and if this Nick kid
hurt her, Kyle was going to come up with many creative painful
threats. Maybe he would anyway, just to have them in reserve.


"Friends are layers..." Catseye murmured to herself, pondering it. "Catseye thinks she understands." She made a face over his kissing questions. "Catseye does not know if it is just one time kissing or if Nick and Catseye are going to be a couple. Nick wants to be a couple but Catseye does not know. That is also why Catseye wants to hide out in the woods for longer," she explained. "So she can know."


"Do you like him? I mean, man, like is so not a good word for this.
Okay, first of all, we have to show you Shrek, because there's a whole
onions layers thing that is pretty funny." And now Kyle really wanted
a steak and onion sandwich, and his stomach growled in agreement. "If
you like the guy and he likes you, it's probably okay to be a couple."
He considered for a moment the long-term implications of his advice,
and added "But thinking about it's good too. Because you don't have
to decide right now, and you can change your mind too even if you're a
couple. So. uh. I guess what I'm saying is that alone time to think is
okay, but don't do too much of it because you can think yourself into
more problems." He wasn't quite sure where that had come from,
exactly.


Catseye poked at Kyle's growling stomach, amused. "Catseye likes him, but Catseye also likes Kyle and Forge and Kevin and Jay and Marius and Sarah and Yvette and Cammie and Callie and Johnny and Mister Beaubier and Mister Nathan and DiamondLil and lots of people! But Catseye knows that is not the same as being a couple. Catseye does not know if she wants to be a couple because Catseye does not really know how it feels to be a couple." She knew what it was, technically; holding hands and kissing. But she didn't know why people wanted to be couples. Being friends made her feel happy, and she wasn't sure how being a couple might make her feel.

It was nice to know that she could change her mind if she wanted to try to be a couple and didn't like it.

"Catseye thinks if she thinks too much it is a good thing that Kyle is going to be a pain in the butt and bug Catseye because then Kyle can make sure Catseye does not have more problems," she smiled, cuddling against him.


"I am really damn good at being a pain in the butt." Kyle said.
"Also good at making steak sandwiches. Want one when you're done
thinking? Because if I don't eat I think my stomach's gonna declare
mutiny and take me over." It could happen.


Laughing, Catseye gave her friend a playful shove. "Catseye knows that cannot happen. Kyle is being a SillyKitten. Yes Catseye wants a sandwich but only after she is done thinking. But Kyle should go before his stomach is so loud all the animals in the woods run away!"



Kyle laughed and got up, shaking the dirt and leaves off his jeans.
"It could totally happen, I swear! And I'll wrap a couple up and put
your name on 'em in the fridge. You can put them in the toaster oven
to heat them up once you're done."


"Kyle is a veryveryvery good friend," the catgirl said with a nod. "Thanks for talking to Catseye and helping Catseye think."

***


Stubbornly ignoring the Serious Thinking she's supposed to be doing after being given advice by Kevin and Kyle, Catseye hunts in BigCat form and spoils Lex's latest hunt.

The still warm air reminded Lex of training missions in the backwaters of the South. He'd spent weeks trekking through marshlands with his team to reach their objective undetected, and they were the only ones to complete the course without making a single mistake. Well, one that the brass was aware of. Lex remembered how many times they'd stopped to treat snake bites, or various other unfortunate injuries caused by their route, and how they'd barely made it to the camp alive. It had been exhilarating, the feeling of utter accomplishment, and he was starting to get the same rush now.

A deer stood less than 10 yards away, oblivious to Lex's silent approach. He checked every step before he made it, always watching for the proverbial twig that would give away his position, and crept towards his prey. No one, not even the speed twins, would stop him from getting this kill. As he made it to within feet of his prey he felt the presence of another predator, not heard, nor saw, but felt. It was a skill he'd honed over the long course of years in the field, to know when danger was approaching. He readied his knife, and prepared to lunge. To hell with the danger, he was taking this beast down.


The large purple mountain lion let out a growl, knowing it would scare away the deer she'd been hunting but figuring that letting her presence be known was better than letting this NotPrey stick her with his knife, or provoke her into fighting him. She took a cautionary step towards Lex from her hiding place in the underbrush, hoping he got the message.



She hadn't been hunting much in BigCat form lately, since the woods had been very populated with her friends and she didn't want to take a chance on BigCat not recognizing one of them as NotPrey, but her encounter with the feral cats in New York had left her feeling overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts about her girl self and her cat self and when she was BigCat, all of those thoughts and feelings went away. BigCat only thought about surviving. Hunting. BigCat didn't think about how it wasn't really a cat anymore, or worry about failing to become human. BigCat was simple.



Lex launched himself after the deer, just as it started taking flight, and sunk his dagger deep into it's back haunch. He knew that it wasn't going to be a clean kill, but something had upset the buck and given him no choice. Driving all of his weight into the beast, he knocked it off balance, taking a kick from it's other leg in the process. "Fuck!" he shouted, the pain in his chest awful as the beast thrashed around. It toppled over and he landed on top of it.



Determined to keep his kill, despite it's lively attempt to knock him free, Lex stabbed his knife deep into the beast's throat and tore it free. Blood poured out as the beast gave one last attempt to free itself, and went limp. What the fuck spooked it, he wondered. He thought he'd heard a roar, but that couldn't have been right, as he'd looked up local predators and there were no cat-- he looked around, trying to spy a large purple beast through the foliage.


He'd killed her deer! Catseye growled again, stepping where Lex could clearly see her.


"Oh shit," Lex whispered, trying to find some good footing in the slick blood. He'd been in many bad situations before, but he could honestly say he'd never stared into the eyes of a purple mountain lion. Thankfully, he knew who it was and he thought he'd be able to reason with her. He put his hands up, holding the knife parallel to the ground with his thumb and forefinger. "Catseye. It's me, Lex. Please don't attack." He tried a smile, but he was fairly sure it looked more like a snarling grimace.



The cat stalked over to where the deer lay and crouched over the kill, baring her teeth. She didn’t make a move on Lex, but tore into the deer slowly, front paws on either side of it, territorial. It was her deer. He’d stolen her kill. If he wasn’t willing to fight for it, she would take it for herself.



Lex had his back against the tree, shaking his head in frustration as he watched the big purple cat try to claim his kill. He almost laughed, a week ago the twins had disturbed his hunt and he had vowed to take this one down no matter who showed up. Now he was looking at a vicious predator and wondering if he could take his deer back without killing her. He decided he could, with a little deception.


Assessing the battleground Lex took in his environment and formed a plan. Flicking the knife in his hands, so it sunk deep into the bark of a tree behind the cat, he pushed off from the tree at his back and slid through the growing pool of blood. He knew that he was about to go right by the cat's claws, but if he could just touch her he'd be able to stun her long enough to get the upper hand.


When Lex moved towards her Catseye leapt out of reach and trotted over to inspect the knife he'd left in the tree where he'd been standing, sniffing liberally. She took the knife in her prehensile tail and made sure she was a few feet away from him and the deer, then shifted into girlform. The cramping pains of hunger hit her stomach, causing her to grimace and nearly double over, but it was better than nearly getting stunned. "How come Lex killed Catseye's deer?" she asked, sounding slightly annoyed.


"What do you mean, Catseye's deer? I've been stalking it for almost an hour now, getting close enough to take it out," he retorted, equally annoyed. This was his way of releasing stress, and she'd almost caused him to attack her. He looked around, feeling very wet and sticky. Lex looked down and groaned, "Well, these are ruined."


"So has Catseye!" she protested. "Catseye was hunting it too!" They had been traveling in different directions, maybe? Why hadn't she smelled him? "Clothes are not good for hunting," she pointed out, forgetting her annoyance already. "Hunting is much better naked. Catseye does not mind if Lex wants to take his clothes off for hunting."

Lex threw his shirt off to the side, but decided to keep his pants on. He didn't want to get yelled at for stripping in front of a student. "Look, if we were both hunting it, then we should share the kill. I'll let you have whatever bits you want, as long as you leave enough for me to take back to the mansion... or help me find another one." He said, smiling. It could be very interesting to hunt with a giant cat by his side, as long as it didn't turn on him.

Shrugging, the catgirl played with the knife, flipping it up into the air and catching it with her tail. She needed to shift back into BigCat form to alleviate the hunger pangs anyway. "Catseye can help find another one. Catseye knows where all the best deer hunting places are in the woods. But Catseye wants to eat first, and Lex cannot attack Catseye! If he does, BigCat will get confused and attack, and that would be a veryveryVERYbadthing."

Sitting with his back to a nearby tree, Lex pointed at the ground. "If you give me back my knife, then I'd say we're good. I won't attack BigCat unless it makes a move against me, fair?" He wanted to see how truly feral she was in BigCat form, because he wanted to know how close he'd come to getting torn apart.

Using her tail with practiced ease, Catseye flipped the knife to Lex. "Fair!" She shifted back into BigCat and bounded almost playfully to Lex's side.

Lex caught the knife, and wiped it against his blood-stained pants. Once it was relatively clean he sheathed it and pointed to the deer. "Have at it," he said, contenting himself to sit and rub his bruised rib. He'd probably have to stop by the med-labs once they got back to the mansion. For now, however, he'd enjoy the scene in front of him and use it to see just how dangerous this BigCat was.