xp_logs | I feel my spirit resist, but I open up my fist (Reply)

This afternoon, just -after- the paper mache fight with Shiro, Marie-Ange and Marie talk, and neither is angry with the other. Just scared, and worried for Doug.

Marie settled the last of the sandwiches in the picnic basket and looked it over. Soda, chocolate milk, sandwiches, chips, fruit; just like a school lunch, only for a few more people. She stuck a package of cookies on top. Calories were always good in a crisis and she was positive that neither Marie-Ange nor Jamie nor especially Doug had eaten properly in a while. She sighed as she picked the basket up. The idea of knocking on the boys' door made her wince, so she decided to see if anyone was at home in Marie-Ange's room who could deliver the food. She stopped outside that door and rapped lightly.

A muffled "Just a moment!" came through the door, and indeed, a moment later, Marie-Ange opened it, still toweling off her hair. "Oh. Um.. " She took a step back, and let her hands drop to her sides.

"Hi." Marie looked almost shy. "Look, I just..." She offered Marie-Ange the basket and words tumbled out of her in a rush. "I packed some food for you and the boys because I know you all probably didn't eat and I'm sure it's genetics but I can't imagine not providing people I care about with huge amounts of food in a crisis. I don't want to disturb Doug and I get the feeling you're mad at me, all of you, so I thought I'd just see if maybe someone here could make sure it got over there and here you are..." Her voice trailed off and she bit her lip anxiously.

The expression on Marie-Ange's face changed from apprehension to what might almost be amusement, if it hadn't so obviously been embarrassment as she accepted the basket. "I ... think I got all that. I'm not mad.. " She shook her head, letting out a sharp breath. "Not at you, not.. at anyone right now."

Marie looked visibly relieved and sagged against the doorframe with a sigh. "I am. A little, but it's mostly from being scared." She hugged herself and looked down at her sneakers. "I'm sorry if I seemed angry in my email last night, it was... I was scared then too. Anyway, if you'd just make sure the boys eat something, if you can, I'd be grateful."

"I will, thank you. I .. " Marie-Ange ran a hair through the her tangled wet hair, frowning. "I just don't have the words, not in English. I was scared for Doug, and that he might let Mister Logan hurt him.. " She leaned her forehead against the edge of the door. "I did not expect .. that. "

"I have to talk to Logan about that." Marie bit her lip again, shaking her head. "He's just automatically intimidating just by being around sometimes. I know he's angry. He was hurt, too, in his way. He... he would not have hurt Doug, though. Not like that. No one but me seems to be able to see that, and I guess I have to accept that that's how it is." She rubbed at her eyes with a hand gloved in a thin, black fabric.

"You .. know him better than I do, if you say he won't hurt Doug, I can believe you. " Marie-Ange's voice was halting, the words taking several long seconds to come out. "Doug won't protect himself right now. He still wants everyone to hate him."

"Thanks. Really," Marie said after a moment's pause. Her eyes had been on Marie-Ange's face while she spoke, analyzing the expression with the words. Now she fiddled with the seams of her gloves, straightening them. "And I'm not surprised Doug's reacting like that. I'm sad but not surprised. I guess I'll just keep my distance. I don't want to, but it might be best."

"I think.. he will be .. " Marie-Ange paused, searching for a word.. "stable.. eventually. " She passed a hand over face, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "I think he's going to talk to Doctor Samson.. and.. I am going to ask Manuel to look at him, since he offered to help."

"That's a good idea. Look, I am going to just... be where I always am. If I can help you all out, you know where to find me." Marie sighed and pushed herself away from the doorframe. "Me staying away doesn't mean I don't care. If you think he can hear that, then I'd be grateful if you'd tell him."

"I will. I will tell him until he does hear it, then a few more times to make sure. " Marie-Ange nodded decisively. "It can only help."

"I want him to be okay," Marie said sadly. "I'm so... /sorry/ he feels the way he does. He deserves so much more than pining after me. I'm just every kind of wrong for him and I know it. I wish he did too."

"He will, be okay, I mean." Marie-Ange tightened one hand into a loose fist. "I am not letting him stay like this. He can't even see what he really is."

"Thank you. I mean that," Marie said quietly. "He deserves friends like you and Jamie. If I can help, let me know. Because I'm not angry much anymore, just sad. I want things to be better so we can all go back to living."

Marie-Ange let out a long sigh, and unclenched her fist. "Yes. Just, yes to everything you just said."

"Are you going to be okay?" Marie put her hands in her pockets and took a long look at Marie-Ange. "I know you were on the list of people Doug emailed to apologize."

"Yes. Eventually," Marie-Ange said, carefully. "Nothing happened that .. " She shrugged. "That I really regret. I was lucky, Doug stopped me before I got anywhere."

Marie nodded. "I wouldn't expect less of him, really," she said. "My stupidity happened mostly after he'd left. Are you going back there now?"

"Yes. Jamie and I are.. tag-teaming, he called it." She nodded. "I took a break so I could go to Art and Speech."

Marie nodded. "I wouldn't expect less of him, really," she said. "My stupidity happened mostly after he'd left. Are you going back there now?"

"Yes. Jamie and I are.. tag-teaming, he called it." She nodded. "I took a break so I could go to Art and Speech.

"Good. Look, don't overdo," Marie said with some concern. "I know Ali's helping out here, but she's tired too. You can always take Doug down to medlab. Angelo's there."

Marie-Ange shook her head. "I'll be fine. I'm getting used to not sleeping, and we're taking shifts." She picked up the basket, and motioned towards the door. "I should get back.. probably before Jamie gnaws his own arm off."

"That's a good idea." Marie stepped out of the way. "If Doug's awake, or whenever he does... just tell him I'm not mad and I'm thinking about him, please? And that I want him to be okay. And if you guys need anything, let me know."

"I will. I promise." She nodded her head as she walked out of the room, then turned to face Marie. "Thanks. For the food, and for not being angry.. and.. just for caring, I think."

"I try." Marie said as she closed Marie-Ange's door. "I don't handle stuff well all the time, but I always do care. Thank Jamie for me, will you? I've got to get ready to teach now."

Marie-Ange nodded. "I will.. Thank you.. again. .. I said that already." She paused, awkwardly, shrugged by way of goodbye, and headed back towards the boys' room.