warren and jay: apologies

[x-highflying.livejournal.com]

Jay comes over to apologise after the argument they had the other day, and he and Warren have a Pretty Serious Discussion. In the end, Warren is actually surprised how well it goes.

It was hard to find Warren's apartment, from the many apartments that looked similar but he knew it which side it was on and a rough number of floors up, he just had to find which floor without having the police called on him because he was flying up and down this building a number of times. Logic dictated for him to go to the front door and wait there but Jay wasn't about to do that. No, he didn't want Warren to be able to slam any doors on his face, not until he apologized.

Though from experience, he didn't expect much by way of forgiveness, especially not when what he said came out wrong, snarky and sarcastic - personality traits that weren't really him. He was embarrassed about it and when he finally landed on Warren's balcony, he knocked at the window, hoping Warren was there.

Warren was there. Since Jay's last visit, he'd spent a little time fuming - and then the rest of the time burying himself in work so he didn't have to think about it. It hurt, that Jay thought that badly of him. He'd understood the hesitation to fling yourself into something after one party had just gotten out of a long term relationship, understood that maybe they should get to know each other before anything else happened. But to think that Warren would just walk away after one night, after everything that had already happened between them? That hurt.

He was sitting on his couch, crouched over the coffee table when Jay knocked. He looked up from the papers he was reading, and the serious expression on his face didn't alter. He pressed his lips together for a moment, as if thinking, and then finally pushed himself up off the couch, moving around so he could unlock the door.

"Jay," he said once the door was open, not stepping back to invite the other man in just yet.

"Warren," Jay spread his hands helplessly, hopelessly and he stood there for a moment, unable to convey how he was feeling, how sorry he was for what he'd said and wondering how much groveling he needed to do before someone else kicked his ass to the curb.

"I'm sorry," came the apology finally and his shoulders fell, even if his wings shifted behind Jay like a pair of on lookers, bodyguards watching over him.

Warren crossed his arms over his chest, looking at Jay for a few long seconds. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate the apology - because he did - but it would take a little more than that for things to be okay.

"Is that what you really think of me?" He responded quietly. He wasn't even going to try and have this conversation with Jay if that was the case.

"No," Jay said immediately and repeated it. "No. It's what Ah think of me," he confessed. "I don't wanna tie you down when you just got yer wings." His fingers swept through his wind blown hair, trying to pull his wings into his back so he didn't hit any of the glass with them.

Warren stepped back enough to let Jay come in, his posture relaxed just a little bit. "You shouldn't think so poorly of yourself, Jay," he said eventually, thawing just a little bit. "And don't you think it's my choice when it comes to being tied down or not?"

He hesitated at the silent invitation but then, even if he wasn't forgiven, they could still talk. Rubbing his hands off his thighs, he cleared his throat, brushing his hands through his hair twice before he tipped the door with the edge of his wing and went off balance a little. He sighed as he walked further into the room and damn, for the life of hm, tried to get his wings go away but they wouldn't. "Sometimes we don't always know whats good for us," Jay replied honestly.

Warren's gaze flickered once to Jay's wings, before he turned and resumed his seat on the couch. "I would understand if you were worried about being the rebound guy. I've just gotten out of a long-term relationship, even if it was over for awhile before we made it official." He looked up at Jay, his face unusually expressionless. "But do you really think I would spend all of the time with you that I do if it was just about getting you into bed? As you said, it's not like I'm not hurting for options."

"Yeah, Ah know," he agreed and relaxed more. Finally his wings retracted, slipping into his shoulder blades as he pushed his hands into his back pockets, standing in the room and unsure if he was to stay. "Ah shouldn't have asked you that the other day. Ah meant it as a joke to start but then, it didn't sound like one did it?"

"No, you shouldn't have. And it didn't." Warren folded his arms across his chest, still watching Jay carefully. "Even if it wasn't a joke, what you followed it up with was not funny at all. I like you, Jay, and I like you a lot, and yes, I want to sleep with you. It's not the only thing I want to do with you. But I don't want that if you think that about me - and more importantly, if you think so poorly of yourself."

"What Ah think about mahself changes daily, so Ah don't think Ah can commit to anythin'," Jay said by means to dodge the subject. Honestly that had no footing. He couldn't push himself to move, grounded to the spot, he brushed a hand over his mouth, looking down at the ground behind the cover of his bangs. "Ah think you know what Ah think."

"I don't expect it to be static," he said quietly. "But you could at least do yourself the courtesy of believing yourself worthy of something more than a one night stand." Because he was. Warren didn't spend his free time with just anyone, after all. "To be honest? No, I don't."

Again he dodged the self worth talk because he really didn't want to go over what his self worth was. Instead, he backed up a pace and dropped into the lounge chair and ran his hand through his hair, raking back his bangs. "Ah don't know what to say, like how to explain it. You make me wanna stand up, be more than Ah was left to be, just so Ah can stand next to you and be as good as you are, good enough to be with you. Ah mean, look at you Warren. Yer fuckin' beautiful.," he gestured helplessly. "And all our chemistry, it's all real." He had a fire for Warren that he didn't for the others and it was difficult to put out, even just sitting there, lacing his fingers together, trying not to sound too cliche (which he loved) or sound too damn needy. "It's the only reason Ah wanna take it slow, cause Ah want it to work."

Warren didn't know what to say in reply to everything Jay said - he would never discourage someone from wanting to be more than what they were, but at the same time, he thought Jay should want to do it for himself, not because of Warren. Even if he was just that great. In the end he decided not to say anything, instead filing away the information to discuss at another point in time.

"And do you think this is working?" Warren waved a hand around, finally uncrossing his arms. "We spend so much time trying to keep our hands off each other we can't think of anything else, is it any wonder we keep having misunderstandings like this?" It was entirely possible that if they were actually sleeping together, they wouldn't have time (or the energy) to argue.

"Maybe not," he reasoned, leaning forward on his elbows. "Ah reckon it'd settle a lotta dust but it'd create a whole whack of problems too, dont' cha think? Plus, Ah wanted to get to know you again War and Ah can't do that the way Ah'd want to from down on mah knees."

"Having sex doesn't create more problems," Warren protested, before he stopped and thought about what he was saying. "Well, okay. Yes it can. But in this case - we're both consenting adults. We both know what we're getting into. We're not going into this blind, we both know that we both have things we need to work through and things aren't going to be perfect. Things with us aren't perfect, and I don't think that's helped by stringing out the tension between us. We can't think straight, and that's not at all conducive to getting to know each other." He smirked a little, leaning forward slightly. "And who said it would be you on your knees?"

For a second, Jay stopped.

Then he eased back in his seat in a slouch, lifting a hand to brush it over his face and hid the chuckling behind it. "Jesus Christ Warren." He took that moment to push off his converse,toe to heel, and kick them aside, letting his hand drop on the arm rest. "Ah reckon that means Ah need to stay n' find out huh?"

Of all the things. Warren was slightly taken aback, expecting another reason as why they should continue to keep their distance. He could have kept arguing his case for hours, finding different angles to make his point. Except Jay had capitulated, and now he wasn't sure what he should do. For once, jumping Jay was about the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted to savor the moment, to make the night something they would remember for a long while.

"Well, if that's the case," he replied with a smile. "Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Are you cookin?" Jay asked, equally with a smile. "Cause Ah reckon' Ah could go get that apron."

"Not tonight," he said with a laugh, pushing himself up off the couch so he could go retrieve the phone. "I believe I owe you a steak." He started to move towards the kitchen, pausing in front of the couch where Jay was sitting. "We'll see about the apron another time."

Before moving again, he caught Jay's chin in his hand, leaning in to press a kiss against Jay's lips - surprisingly chaste, but warm with a hint of the passion that had already threatened to erupt between them. He drew away after a few moments, his breathing heavier than it had been and his eyes a little unfocused.

"Right. Dinner."

"Mmm." Jay was almost half way out of his seat, meeting Warren half way before he was fully on his feet. "You want me to order?" he murmured, inches from Warren, but turned his head down shily at the intensity of their proximity.

"No no, I've got it." He smiled, brushing the back of his fingers over Jay's cheek, toughened skin barely marked by the sandpaper edge of Jay's skin. "You just make yourself comfortable."

It was hard not to smile at the touch and god how he craved to be touched. Did he lean into that brush? Tilting his cheek into it and gazed at Warren's brief departure to make the phone call while he was left standing there, helplessly debating if he should sit back down or wait. Getting comfortable was not possible with sitting, but he tried it none the less, only switched to the couch where it would be comfortable for two.

It didn't take long for Warren to make the phone call, soon reappearing and leaving the phone on the coffee table so it was in arm's reach. He didn't seem surprised that Jay had moved, just taking the seat next to him and stretching his wings out so they were tucked behind the back of the couch.

"It'll be about half an hour," he announced, turning his head to glance at Jay with a smile.

Half an hour later...

Jay relished the kiss for what it was but the sudden sound of the phone cut through their intimate moment and Jay's arm held Warren there for a moment, a smile breaking across his features before letting him go. Immediately without waiting, Jay left to go to the washroom to clean up, listening to Warren's murmured voice as he spoke briefly on the phone. "Ah think Ah should pay this time," Jay offered over his shoulder.

"No, I've got it," Warren replied with a grin, tossing Jay a wink. He tossed the phone back on the table, shrugging his shirt back on properly without doing it up again. It wasn't long before there was a knock at the door, and Warren opened it to accept the food from the delivery boy. He tipped the guy well, and winked at him after catching his gaze lingering on Warren's partially bare chest.

"Want anything to drink? Warren called out as he headed to the kitchen, finding dishes to serve the dinner up on once he was there.

"Just a pop," came Jay's easy, relaxed reply as he closed the door half way from the washroom and lazily walked into the room, pausing by the counter. "Want some help servin?"

"I'm good," he replied, looking up to smile at Jay when he stopped. "But if you want to set the table, I certainly wouldn't complain. Cutlery's in the drawer over there." He nodded towards it, carefully arranging the steamed vegetables that came with the steak on the plates.

Neither would Jay. Despite all his bad mannerisms, dinner was something everyone helped out with at home, from setting the table to the very last dish in the dishwasher or any pot that needed to be cleaned, his entire family did it all. Because of this, he dutifully fetched the untensils and set the table, marveling how easily the pair of them fell into the domestic roles. It was something that, for a change, was really nice and he never pictured himself doing.

Glasses were fetched and Jay finally sat at his place setting, hands folded in his lap and waiting for Warren to serve them and sit.

For all of his somewhat spoiled approach to the world, sharing an apartment with your lover for years meant you did get used to moments like this. Once everything was served up, he brought the plates to the table - steak, served with creamy mashed potato and lightly steamed vegetables. He set the plate down in front of Jay, following it with a brief kiss before he went to sit down himself.

"Bon appetit."

Digging in was what he did best and Jay was easily won over with good food. "Damn, this steak if good. Ah swear, if Ah knew what they did, Ah'd be cookin' it too. Shame Jean-Paul wasn't around to teach me. He'd tell me some of 'em secrets." They had only started to breech cooking techniques, starting with pies. Jay wished he could have pulled all stops for Warren tonight, it would have been worth it. But no one wanted to eat anything burnt, least of all him.

"Well, if you'd like to learn how to cook, I'm sure that can be arranged. I'm sure there are plenty good cooking classes around. I'll look into it." Or well, his assistant would, but Jay didn't have to know that.

"Ah dunno if Ah have time to do any classes right now. Between DR trainin', school, work and Red X, Ah'm ready to fall flat on mah face. Then, o'course, there's you..." he paused in his eating, pushing around his food until he got a fork full of potatoes.

"Maybe I'll learn then," he said with a bit of a grin, before the mood turned a little serious. "There is me, isn't there?" Warren put his cutlery down for a moment, looking over to Jay.

"We're both busy people," he said with a bit of smile. "And neither of us should be rushing into anything serious. But I want to get to know you better, and to explore whatever else we have share besides. Now that Christmas is over and my father's finished his crazy orientation for me at the company, I'm going to be speaking to Ororo about becoming a full time member of the team, and looking at staying in Westchester at least part of the week. So at least it won't be so difficult to find time to spend together."

Jay definitely liked the sound of that. All of it. "The team huh? All that flyin's got your blood boilin' fer action? Ah reckon we'd be great on the field together. Ah mean, if Ah could get past the first level in the DR," he said and continued eating.

"Well, a return to full time status was always on the cards," Warren said with a chuckle. "I just thought I'd take my time with it. I didn't expect it to be this soon, but I miss it, so why not?" He smiled over to Jay. "I think we will. And we can always do some work together, if you like."

"Ah would like," he echoed Warren, smiling back. "So's we're what? An item of the sorts?" he asked, just to figure out some clarification there.

"We're a something," he replied, and then paused, thinking about something. "A monogamous something. Just in case you were worried." Warren wasn't about to go around messing with anyone else, and he didn't think Jay was either. But that should probably also be clear.

"Ah wasn't," Jay clarified. "But it means somethin' that ya thought to clear it up in detail," he grinned.