Lex and Adrienne - The Talk

[x-adrienne.livejournal.com]

While coming to the aid of the smokey kitchen, Lex runs into Adrienne and the two discuss his relationship with Morgan, with Adrienne giving him the dutiful 'if you hurt my best friend I kill you' speech.

It wasn't often that Adrienne made her own meals, but occasionally after a morning workout she would attempt to make some toast and coffee in the communal kitchen before going about her day, especially if the had morning classes to teach. Today she had decided she was feeling homey, so she'd put a bagel in the toaster oven and had brewed a pot of coffee. As she hadn't wanted to sit and wait for the bagel, however, she had wandered off to the rec room to turn on the sports channel, and had become distracted by a report on Damon's contract offer from the Yankees.

The smell of acrid smoke and charcoal caught her attention several minutes later.

Racing into the kitchen on a curse, Adrienne was pleased to note that while black smoke was pouring out of the toaster, at least the smoke alarm hadn't gone off yet. She yanked the toaster's power cord out of the wall and opened the windows in the kitchen, standing there fanning the tendrils of flame out with a towel. "Shit!"

Lex could smell something burning and ran down the hall. As he turned into the kitchen he relaxed. Adrienne stood before him trying to put out what he could only describe as a culinary disaster. He stifled a laugh and moved to help her. Grabbing a towel he helped her kill the fire. "So, you're not one of those everything must be well-done people, are you?" He smiled as he spoke to let her know that he meant no harm.

"Har har," Adrienne muttered, eyes narrowed. "Thanks for the help. Were you headed here to make something or did the smoke attract you?"

"At first it was the thought of food, but now..." Lex looked at the burnt toaster with mock disgust, "I'm not so sure." He looked at her, trying to pretend like it was all her fault, but he could not keep a straight face. A broad smile grew and he turned away before he started laughing.

"I should be keeping a list of all the kitchen items I've had to replace since I moved here," Adrienne grumbled, not at all amused. Though Lex's laughter did help her relax a little. "Do you cook at all, Soldier Boy?" she inquired curiously.

"I've been known to, though I was probably just going to grab a pear at the moment." He stopped and turned to face the woman, "do you want me to make you some breakfast?"

"He cooks breakfast!" Adrienne mused excitedly to herself. "No, thanks. I think I'll just grab some fruit as well. I'm a little bit turned off anything more substantial right now, because of the smell of burning I suppose. So you cook. That definitely goes in your 'pros' column on the score sheet."

"Score sheet?" Lex asked. He wasn't aware of any score sheet at the mansion. Did it have to do with being a trainee--the full members choosing their favorite for some prestigious award--or was it just something Adrienne had thought up for herself. "I wasn't aware I was being judged." He reached into the fridge and grabbed a pear. It wasn't perfect, but it was good enough for late January.

"Well, if you knew it would throw off the results, wouldn't it?" Adrienne reasoned with a shrug. "You've got a lot of pros on the pro column, Soldier," she assured him with a smile. "But then again, that may just be because your predecessor was basically a choir boy and while one might think that would be a pro, when it comes to my best friend, 'choir boy' came out under the 'con' side of things." It still felt odd to call Morgan her best friend out loud, but it wasn't a bad kind of odd.

"Wait, what?" Lex said, banging his head on the door as he reacted. He rubbed his head as he looked at her, in pain both from the bump and trying to understand her comment. He wanted to ask who was keeping the score sheet, but he understood by the word predecessor that Adrienne had been referring to him as a potential boyfriend. Is this good or bad, he wondered, trying hard to hide his panic by deftly drawing his blade and slicing into the pear.

"What?" Adrienne echoed. "I score Morgan's boyfriends."

Lex coughed, and tried to pretend it was because a piece of pear went down the wrong wind pipe. When he recovered he said, "Score. Her. Boyfriends?" He tried to think about that one but couldn't find the thought compatible with what he knew of Morgan. "Does she join in, or is this something you do for her?"

"I'm her best friend," Adrienne answered defensively. "I think it's my job. I do it for her. The best friend isn't supposed to know that the other best friend is threatening her new boyfriend that if he ever hurts the best friend, the other best friend will tear him to pieces, right?"

"That makes sense. However, I don't know that I like the idea of being scored." He gave her a weary look and then sat down. A conversation like the one they were on the verge of might take a long while. "Would you mind talking to me about it, rather than scoring me?"

"What's there to talk about?" Adrienne asked, sounding genuinely confused. "You hurt her, I kill you. Seems pretty simple to me. I'll even do it myself instead of hiring someone. The scoring doesn't really have anything to do with it. You fuck with her, I put your entrails in that toaster and go watch TSN." Despite her saying there was nothing to talk about, she sat. "But don't worry, you're scoring higher than Sam ever did, because you're a soldier which means you understand better than most why she does the things she does sometimes."

Without moving a muscle Lex flinched internally, he remembered his first conversations with Morgan about the nature of warfare and mercenaries as being heated. He didn't want to relive that anytime soon. However, he did agree with Adrienne about understanding her best friend more because he was a soldier. "Yeah? That is good, as I don't plan on going anywhere." He shrugged thoughtfully and then spoke half-to-himself, "though I haven't quite figured out how to ask her to date me yet."

"Good luck with that one," Adrienne muttered. "I've probably heard every line in the book and the one that worked best on me was being chucked in a pool, so clearly I'm not the right person to ask." His line about not going anywhere had her biting her lip. "All threats aside, if you don't plan on going anywhere you'd better be careful with her." Adrienne didn't know how much Lex had seen of the woman that was Morgan and how much was Vanessa, but she worried about both of them. "She puts on a tough front but she can get hurt really easily when it comes to relationships, whether intimate or platonic. She's loyal, y'know? Doesn't let people in easily but if she lets someone in they can hurt her really bad by doing a number of things- inability to accept who she is, betraying her loyalty, her trust." The thought of the situation between Vanessa and Amanda had her sighing. "Betraying another friend. I know you two are testing the waters but I think she's letting you in and if you're just after her cuz you want someone to fuck you'd better not lead her to believe you want anything more."

Lex stared at her for a moment, trying to understand if they were on the same level. "Umm..." he started, and then quickly decided that telling her that he wasn't in it for the sex would be an outright lie. Telling her that he wasn't there only for the sex would be much more honest. In an attempt to express himself, he put the knife down and folded his hands on the counter. "I'm not sure you and I are on the same page... When I said I'm not planning on going anywhere, I meant that I don't intend on fucking her and then running away. I want a relationship, I'm just not sure how to go about it." He paused for a moment, uncertain how to inform her that he was perfectly at ease with her personae and then decided that he didn't need to. The best way to show her would be through his actions. "I can't say I know everything about her, but I know enough to feel strongly for her and not have any delusions about who she is."

"Well, that's alright then," Adrienne nodded, mollified. "On the contrary; I think we're definitely on the same page. I like you and I want to believe you'd be good for her, but it's my job to make sure she's not going to get burned in this, you get that right? I had to ask so you could give me that answer, because your entrails go in the toaster if you delude her."

"I don't think that'll be a problem," he spoke, his voice sincere. If everything went to hell, he was fairly sure that he would be more afraid of Morgan than Adrienne. Even so, he didn't think it would be a good idea to piss either of them off. Then a terribly funny thought struck him. "So, all this talk of frying up entrails has gotten me in the mood for some bacon. Would you like some?" he said in an attempt to lighten the mood. As the words left his mouth he realized he would have starved to death if he'd ever tried to be a stand up comedian.

"No thanks," the brunette answered, though she smiled as she said it, "I'd better get moving." Plus, vegetarian, but she didn't bring that up. Rising from the table, she nodded at Lex. "I'm glad we understand each other, Mister Lexington," she said in her best mob boss voice.


Hearing that, Lex couldn't help but burst into laughter. "Yes, Ma'am. We understand each other perfectly well." He stood and turned towards the fridge for some bacon. "If you ever want me to cook for you, just say the word. It'll save me the trouble of worrying about the mansion burning down."