Amanda and Nico - Training Day Blues

[xp_daytripper]

Training for Nico isn't going well, so they take a break and talk about it.



Amanda fought back the urge to sigh and tried again.

"No, Nico, you need to concentrate. Focus on your energy and push it outwards. Do the visualisation thing I taught you."

They were in Amanda's apartment, trying shielding spells. Amanda had pushed the couch and the coffee table closer to the wall to make some room in her living area, and the usual spread of books and papers were stacked a foot high on her kitchen table. Amanda herself was sitting on a kitchen chair turned backwards, leaning on the back with her legs straddled either side. The casualness of the posture belied the tension in her shoulders - training wasn't going well.

"Alright, alright; jeez..." It was complicated for Nico to do something she considered should be so simple...and that was frustrating. The idea was to use her own magic, so she was avoiding taking any from anything around, but that left her practically without magic. And without magic...there was no way she could do a shield. Focusing again, Nico decided she was capable of taking energy for the same reason she wasn't capable of making enough for herself. "I'm draining", announced as she closed her eyes, entering the world where energy was almost visible, almost touchable. Now she only needed to get a hold of omething. The sofa? No way. The books? Even less. For a second she thought with more frustration her only source of energy was her own teacher, but the thought horrified her. She needed to think.

Suddenly, the ground around her cracked a little, turning a bit more fragile and old, as if time had happened faster then. Raising her arms, Nico's eyes opened, half covered by darkness.

"Elbbub"

The thing that raised around her wasn't a bubble; it resembled more a ball with spikes on it. It was also of a dark grey tone, but it was so thin Nico was visible, standing there, vision lost somewhere else.

Amanda got up and poked at the ball - the surface gave easily under her fingers, although it stretched rather than broke. "Well, the spikes are kind of scary to a would-be attacker, but one decent hit and you'd be out for the count," she pronounced. "Take a break, grasshopper. We need to rethink this."

With a sigh of clear distress, Nico sat where she was, the bubble fading. "I'm so helpless", she complained as she ended up lying on the floor. "It's like everything I make ends up dark and twisted, and it's not even effective." Maybe one time she had managed for the spell not to be dark and scary looking, but then the rest of attempts were futile. "It's like, if I try to summon a bunny, I'll end up with a freaking Goatsucker monster."

Despite herself, Amanda chuckled at the last as she grabbed her cigarettes and lit up. "Magic's tied into more than just concentration," she said, exhaling a cloud of smoke. "It's to do with emotions as well. You try and do a spell when you're pissed off, it'll change it."

Nico laughed a little as well. "I am kinda pissed; I mean, I shouldn't because nothing really happened, but I'm kinda feel pissed." Straightening up, Nico shot an inquiring glance at Amanda. "You know that blue woman right? We were having a pretty normal conversation, and she went all secretive on me when I asked her name, since she already knew mine. I mean, fine, it's just a name, but if you are not going to tell..." Nico let herself touch the floor again. "...then stop playing around. So I got all pissed, but the Staff also helped."

Amanda grimaced a bit. "Ah, Morgan. She's got a... special sense of humour, that one. She used to work with me, until she got a bug up her arse and decided to move out."

"Morgan huh? That sounds like such a fake name. And yet is fitting." Raising her head, Nico scouted her mentor's face. "Personal problems?"
The older witch hesitated, then nodded. "Something like that. I s'pose you'd call it a clash of beliefs about certain things - we couldn't agree, she got pissed off and the next thing we know, she's moved into District X."

"Wait, can someone quit just because you don't agree? That's a little extreme." It didn't make sense though, but Nico wondered what kind of disagreement could trigger something like that; nothing silly and simple, she supposed. "But you are still friends and everything? I mean, maybe by quitting she considered she would at least save the friendship?"

"People can do whatever they like, by all accounts," Amanda sighed. "And no, we're not really mates any more. She made it pretty clear she didn't trust me and while that's nothing new, I don't have to sit back and take it. I did what I thought was right and she couldn't understand that."

Nico frowned. "Well, that sucks; I mean, we didn't have the best start, but I'm seriously considering apologizing when I see her again. I mean, that's my intention." She didn't know if she would feel like apologizing when she ran into Vanessa again. "How can you be the friend of someone you know that doesn't trust you?"

"It's complicated," Amanda replied, her usual brush off statement. But given the topic and the fact Nico herself had been referenced, she thought better of it. "It depends, really. In some cases, there's a good reason why I'm not trusted. I made a lot of mistakes when I was younger, with the magic, and there's always the chance that one day I might run off the rails again. If that happens, I want my friends to be suspicious of me - at least that way people won't get hurt."

Amanda would notice Nico was giving her one of her 'what the fuck?' looks. "What the...you want people not to trust you entirely because you might make mistakes?" She stood and sat next to her. "Are you serious!?" And the question didn't have an ounce of humor.

"Totally serious." And the older witch was. "I know it sounds fucked up, but let me try to explain. Back when I was your age, I got hooked on my powers. As in, like a drug. It wasn't my fault to start - I had a power source too big for me to handle and I didn't know what was going on until too late. But later... I did things, bad things, because of it."

Nico made another face. "We are human, Amanda; we make mistakes, and we hurt people." It was weird of her to say it, but whatever. "If I can't trust entirely on you, then I can't expect you to..." Her voice died, and she just leaned back. "Well...fuck." Was she some sort of contained experiment then? She felt like suddenly her life wasn't her own anymore; if it wasn't the book, it was her parents, and now she needed to think Amanda was trying to control her? "This is what I get for asking."

"I know it's not a crime that I made mistakes, padawan. That isn't the point. The point is, I'm an addict, and I'll always be one, one way or another. I need the people in my life to know that so if I fall off the wagon, they can stop me hurting anyone." Amanda gave the girl a wry smile. "And that does go for you too. You'll be working with me... I need to know that you'll pull me up and ask questions if I'm doing something you don't feel right about." It was a lot to dump on the kid, but she needed to know. "And I'll do the same for you, if you agree."

Amanda's words made sense, and Nico hated the other witch for that; it was a weird feeling. "If you and I are going to be friends, then you are going to need to be sincere with me, as I will be sincere with you. And if you start being weird, I'll hit you with the Staff of One in the head and see what happens." She sighed, trying to smile back at Amanda, and managing only an equally wry smile. "You probably know the feeling of not having much of a choice regarding one's life right? There are moments when I'm almost sure I will do a lot of wrong things in the future." Her expression went grim as she felt a cold shiver on her spine. "I don't consider myself much of a threat, but if I need to be, how do I put this, taken down...I would prefer you are the one doing it."


"Sounds like a deal to me." Amanda held out her hand. "Shake on it? But no hitting me with that Staff of yours just yet." She grinned at the lame joke.

Nico grinned back, holding Amanda's hand. "Deal, but let's hope I don't get to hit you with the Staff, alright?" There was something else she wanted to say, but she needed to shake Amanda's hand a couple of times. "I really do like you, alright? You are...the only person I can relate sometimes, so when you talk like that...I feel a little lost." Letting her hand go, Nico stood. "The advise of someone who knows a bit how you feel? Don't do that to yourself; let your friends take care of you, at least in that sense."

"Oh, believe me, grasshopper, I do have friends I trust to take care of me." Amanda grinned, thinking of the Trenchcoats and just the sort of things they did - they had to take care of each other to come out of things in one piece, sometimes. "But I'll remember that. Now, enough serious shite - you want to go get some food? My treat."

"Huh, of course it's your treat; mentors are so forced to feed their grasshoppers. It's a tacit law."