xp_logs | Scott and Alex

Set just before this mission

Scott is the first to visit Alex in the meblab and it ends up getting quite emotional for both Summers brothers.

Scott opened the door and walked in. He glanced back at the temporarily empty hallway; Hank's plan for luring Lorna and Shiro away worked, at least temporarily. He closed the door and leaned against it, watching Alex quietly for a bit, wondering if he'd peek.

Alex heard the door open again and fought the urge to open his eyes. He knew what he'd see, the blank walls of a place he'd hoped never to see again and doctors who were trying help a helpless case. He could only hope to convince whoever it was he was still asleep and that they would soon leave.

"I know that look, Alex. We both tried to use it on Mom and Dad. In fact, I think I taught it to you." Scott spoke quietly from the door, smiling softly at the memory. His eyes never left Alex's form.

Realizing who was in the room with him, Alex opened his eyes, tears forming at the corners as he moved to sit up slowly. "Scott?" He whispered softly. Even though he had never wanted to return to the mansion, it had killed him to think he would never see his brother again, again.

"There was a fight for who would get in to see you first, you know." He moved to the end of the bed and lingered there. "I was able to enlist Hank to beat out Shiro and Lorna. Shiro thinks roommates have privileges over brothers. And Lorna...well, she was ready to tear the hinges out."

Moving his legs, Alex hoped Scott would sit. He didn't think he was up for physical comfort but just having Scott nearby was comforting. "I don't know why..." Alex said softly as he shook his head. "They're all better off with me gone."

Scott waited a moment before responding, debating his next choice of words. The line outside his door didn't convince him he was wanted, needed. He was still afraid, of himself, of his power. "Define 'better off,' and then I can tell you why."

"Better off as in I won't accidentally kill them if I'm not around. I'm a danger to myself and everyone around me..." He did almost smirk for a moment. "Well, except you of course." Then Alex sighed and looked down at his lap. "I was better off with Her..."

Scott moved then to the bed and sat down next to his brother. He made a mental note to himself - find out if Emma can manufacture a suit like the one she got for Jono, but for Alex - and then sighed at his brother. "You want to be used by someone who doesn't care about you other than what power you can give her, rather than let people who love you and want to help you try to do just that." It wasn't a question.

"Help didn't work...plus I hurt people here, people I loved...it's what I deserve." He looked away. "Running is all I know how to do Scott, it's all I've ever done. At least with Her I could stop running..."

"She has a name," he said, off-handedly. "Selene." Scott watched for Alex's reaction to her name. "As for deserving..." He shook his head, wanting to reach out, and not knowing how to break through this bleak despair. "You don't deserve to be a battery, Alex. No one does. Not even someone who hurts those he loves. Or strangers."

Alex visibly flinched at the name and his hand went up to finger the collar that was no longer there. He opened his mouth to respond to Scott's statement but then realized what exactly he had said. "What do you mean strangers?" Alex fidgeted now, getting nervous.

"Do you think you hold the title of Family Fuckup, Alex?" His voice remained soft, but his words were not. "I'm sure, without trying, I can name 15 incidences since you arrived here where I failed, and those I love were hurt. And that's not even going back to before your arrival, where I let the Professor be captured by a man who wanted to destroy all mutants. We try, Alex. That's all we can do. We keep on trying. We're never going to get it right. That's life, mutant or human."
The words were soft but there meaning, while somewhere in the back of his mind he knew they were true, Alex just couldn't grasp. Feeling ashamed, he looked away, not knowing what to say.

Scott reached for Alex, not to turn his head back, but just a hand on his shoulder. "I don't think you've given up on yourself yet, Alex. I know I haven't given up on you. And I won't. That's what family is for. And I'm not just talking Summers' family. The family you've made here. Every week Shiro asked me about you, where you were, when his roommate was coming back. I had hoped you'd find your own way back, or at least come to a peace within yourself. I hope you will, one day." The phone in Scott's pocket beeped once, twice, but he ignored it. "You don't have to stay here at the school. This isn't a prison. But you can't go back to Selene. I won't let you do that to yourself."

Alex looked first at the hand on his shoulder then up at Scott, biting his lower lip as his muddled brain tried to process everything. Finally alls he could do was shrug halfheartedly. "I don't know what I'm going to do at this point Scott, but as far as family...I guess I'll just have to see for myself." Shyly, one hand made its way to grasp Scott's on his shoulder, a tear falling down his cheek. "I'm scared Scott..." he said softly.

"So am I. I won't lie to you about that, Alex. I'm not scared about what you're going to do with your power, though. Or what your power might do to other people." He placed his other hand over Alex's, squeezing. "I'm scared of losing you." Scott let himself go, reaching out to grab Alex and pull him into a tight hug, tears of his own sliding underneath the visor to mix with Alex's hair.

Not even trying to stop himself, Alex held onto his brother as if for dear life, the tears he had held back ever since he'd seen Scott in the room flowing freely now. They sat in silence for a long while...just holding one another.

The phone beeped again, sounding more insistent this time, though maybe it just sounded louder in the silence of the room.

Scott ignored it for as long as he could, but when it rang the third time, and this time with a different chime, he started to pull back. "I'm sorry, that's the Professor's signal. He needs the X-Men for something." Scott kissed his brother on the forehead, but didn't wipe his own tears away. He collected himself, and then reached for the phone.

Alex nodded slowly as Scott pulled out his phone, wiping away his own tears with the back of his hand so his vision could return. He sniffled softly as he watched his brother take the Professor's call.

A few words later, and Scott closed the phone and got off the bed. "There's a girl lost in the woods. Amber alert. I need to go find her. Sleep now, and if you're feeling up to it, I'll have Hank send in Shiro and Lorna later, okay?" He paused, and a sly grin crossed his face. "And let me know the minute they let you out of this place. I have this perfect spot to watch a wonderful sunrise. We must go see it - together. Promise?"

Despite squirming a bit at the mention of Lorna, Alex nodded, a small smile, the first in months, on his face. "Promise big bro."

"Good. I love you, Alex." He smiled, and opened the door quietly. Peeking out into the hallway, he spied the coast still clear, and snuck out, holding a finger to his lips as he quietly shut the door.

"Love you Scott..."Alex whispered to the silent room, before cuddling back under the covers, falling asleep in moment.

To follow will be the editted version of the Shiro/Alex log that popped up briefly last night. Just couldn't keep this to myself any longer