Korvus & Wade | Saturday Afternoon (backdated)

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Korvus and Wade meet up in the garage to make the mansion's first amphibious VW Beetle and they talk about a few different things, beneficial sexism included.


Korvus came into the mansion's garage immediately after his morning Yoga, Kalari Payat, Meditation routine. He had noticed he was often awake before most other residents, especially his suite mates, and wanted to make good use of his time. Despite his sweat pants and tank top, he slid under the '71 Volkswagen Beetle Wade had acquired in order to check the engine compartment; if it was too rusted around the deck then he would have to fix the body before welding on something to prevent water from entering.

Walking into the garage, Wade surveyed the car, the kid under the car, and the boxes that had arrived throughout the week. He'd stacked the boxes along one wall as they'd been delivered for easy access while they were working and, as of the day before, everything had gotten there. "Hey," he said, finishing off a bottle of water and putting the bag with the other bottles on a low table to the side. "It'd getting kinda chilly for tank tops, kid," he shrugged out of his own jacket despite his words, tossing it on the table next to the water.

"My morning routine increases my metabolism enough that I do not find it uncomfortable. I am also more resistant to such discomforts due to my mutation." Korvus pushed on the underside hard enough to raise the car off it's rear wheels before lowering it back down gently. "The body of this automobile is in remarkable shape. I will coat the appropriate parts with the rubberized undercoating before we go to lunch so that it may dry while we take our mid-day break. That will prevent any rust as the result of repeated submerging."

"Sweet," Wade said, nodding. "Also, were you serious about people helping you figure out the whole slang words, colloquial language thing?"

"I am. Matt Murdock dislikes me, in part I suspect, because I speak so formally." Korvus slid out from under the rear of the car, sitting up. "I believe listening to people speak will improve my understanding of American colloquialisms. I hope you are not bothered if I ask questions about the expressions you may use from time to time."

"Nah," Wade said, shaking his head. "It's cool. I was just going to say you could probably cut like half of the words you use out of your vocabulary. Like saying, 'Matt doesn't like me because of how I speak.' Or 'I did my morning exercise so I'm good and my mutation kind of makes the weather a nonissue.'" He tipped his head toward the car. "So what're we doing?"

"Our first task should be to weld that metal sheet under the deck and then I can rerun the fresh hair intake to the top of the vehicle to prevent water from entering the fuel system." Korvus pointed to the parts as he spoke about them. "That should occupy us until lunch."

"You get the sheet of metal, I'll get the welder," Wade said, moving over to the tools and finding the gloves as well as the face mask. "I'm assuming you're not fireproof, right kid?"

"I am not, only more durable than the average individual. If you can weld, I will lift the Beetle to give you room. As long as you weld to the frame, it will not matter which part you choose." Korvus deferred to Wade without hesitation due to his healing factor.

Wade tossed Korvus an extra set of gloves and a spare welder's apron. "Just in case - sparks can be a bitch." Pulling his own gear on, he eyed the Beetle and nodded. "Let's get everything set up and we'll start out slow. I'm guessing you haven't tested out your endurance, so let me know if you start getting tired. Reaction headaches or whatever can also be a bitch." He very clearly remembered Molly falling asleep after throwing the Hungry Hungry Hippos board into the wall and Wade liked not having heart attacks where kids were concerned.

Korvus put the safety equipment on without argument while reassuring Wade he was capable. "Do not worry. I may not have objectively bench marked the extent of my capabilities but I worked in a machine shop for years. I have a functional awareness of my limits. The Volkswagen Beetle is one of the lightest automobiles ever constructed, I have pressed approximately one ton with my left hand while working. That is more than this vehicle weighs."

"Okay," Wade said, nodding as he fitted the face mask over his head. "Just keep it in mind. My half-pint passes out when she overuses her powers, but she's getting used to them now and building up a tolerance or something so she'll stop falling over after picking up boulders." He really, really needed to make sure Molly didn't pick up any more boulders, invulnerable or not.

"I will be careful." Korvus reassured Wade as he squatted down to grab the rear of the Beetle, deadlifting the back end.

***
Cutting the welder off, Wade stepped back from the Beetle and put the tool down, then flipped up the face mask and huffed a breath that was half laugh, half hard exhale. He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but he'd made sure to periodically check on Korvus while the kid held the car up. Mostly, though, he was hot and kind of sweaty. "On to part two?"

Korvus gently lowered the car back down. "We must use that paint sprayer to coat the underside with the rubberized undercoating." He again pointed as he spoke. "Then we can retire for lunch while the fumes dissipate."

"Awesome," Wade said, nodding. "And you could probably just say 'then we can go to lunch.'" Taking the apron and the gloves off, he hung them back in their place and then walked over to the paint sprayer to figure how to make it work. "You don't speak badly, which is probably the biggest thing that sticks out about you," he said, tilting his head to the side as he pushed a button. "And Matt doesn't dislike you, he's just... from a really different world. Get the slang down and you'll fit in just fine."

"He does dislike me but I appreciate your attempt to convince me otherwise." Korvus also hung his safety equipment up. "Since he does not know me well personally, he must see me as representative of a kind of person he has negatively stereotyped."

"It's easy to shoot somebody down first than to maybe like them and have them shoot you down instead," Wade said, shrugging. "And I dunno your background, really, except for the 'slave' thing in Madripoor that you mentioned, so." He quirked a smile. "He's prickly like a prickly pear - difficult to get at but good once you do. Don't let him put you off." Air hissed from the paint sprayer as he hit the button again. "Good thing this is empty," he muttered, snorting softly at himself. "Rubberized undercoating, anybody?"

Korvus retrieved the can they needed, punching a hole in the metal lid with his index finger so it would pour into the sprayer easily. "I was initially being groomed for a career in the military or politics. My family was wealthy and influential until my father discovered the Indian Military, with whom he served, was responsible for genocide in Sri Lanka. He attempted to resist while I was working aid in Darfur. My family was killed and our assets stripped while I was away. I am now the only Rook'shir."

What were you supposed to say to something like that? Wade wasn't really sure, so he just unscrewed the top of the paint sprayer and held it out for Korvus to fill. "How'd you wind up at the mansion? For that matter, how'd you wind up in Asia? That's a pretty big leap - working aid in Darfur to slavery in Madripoor."

Despite the topic, Korvus seemed fairly calm, relaying the information like someone would a story they read. Possibly his meditation and philosophy helped or maybe he had disassociated from the event psychologically. It was hard to tell. "I returned to India, despite my friends warnings, to attempt to gather my father's information and distribute it myself. I was not very successful. I was caught by the Imperial Guard in short order and sent to Madripoor. Although my family had been convicted of treason, I was not executed for some reason."

Korvus shrugged; there were his personal theories as to why he was not executed but there was no way to know. While speaking, he carefully poured the thick, black fluid into the paint sprayer. A tremor in his hand and a few spills showed he wasn't as emotionless about his past as he wanted to portray.

Wade tactfully ignored the spills and the fact that he could see the tremor in his hands, just held the sprayer steady for the length of time it took to pour the liquid, then twisted on the top and nodded toward the car. "Have at it - lunch waits for no man. Which is a lie, obviously, but also, I'm hungry."

Without another word, Korvus moved into position and raised the backside of the Beetle again so Wade could coat the underside, switching to the front when he was ready.

After finishing the underside of the car, Wade turned the sprayer off and set it aside, then nodded. "Good day's work so far - have you ever eaten sweet potato fries?"

"We do have sweet potatoes in India. I have never had them fried." Korvus said with a soft laugh. "I expect it will be interesting."

Grinning, Wade said, "Oh, you're in for a treat," and then nodded toward the door. "Off we go. I'm going to have fun expanding your knowledge of American food."

***
Lunch passed quickly, involving more strenuous than the sweet potato fries and some other vegetarian-friendly foods that Wade scrounged up in the kitchen. Once they'd finished eating, they headed back to the garage to see how the rubber stuff had dried. "So now we're what? Sealing the deck and running the air intake up top?"

Korvus nodded, "My research suggested that duct tape would be enough to seal the deck but I would prefer to instead use silicone caulking to allow for the deck lid to be opened. Then the use of sheet metal to to box off and extend the fresh air intake from the vents of the deck lid." He again pointed as he spoke.

"Works for me," Wade said, nodding. "Though really, duct tape is like the Force and that's nothing to sniff at..." He waggled his eyebrows a little and wondered if he was going to get the question from the kid that usually elicited the punchline to the Force joke.

"I believe you are making a popular culture reference and I am not familiar with it." Korvus advised as he opened the deck lid and then moved to get the caulk gun.

Wade shook his head. "The youth of today," he lamented, then chuckled. "It's a reference to Star Wars. We'll have to sit you down one weekend and marathon the last three movies - they were made out of order, actually, which was pretty cool. George Lucas made the fourth, fifth, and sixth movies way back in the day and waited until technology had progressed to a point where he felt he could adequately convey all the themes and stuff that he wanted the way he wanted and made the first, second, and third ones like. In the early 2000's. The Force is a thing kind of like a super power but the joke is that duct tape is like the Force - it has a dark side and a light side and it's what holds the universe together. We'll watch the movies and you'll see why the joke's funny. Are we ready to caulk?"

"I would have to see the films to understand the reference." Korvus nodded in agreement as he knelt down and began sealing the deck lid. He let a moment pass before changing the topic. "Are you familiar with Meggan? We are both attending our Senior year here."

Wade was about to say that was the whole purpose of proposing the marathon when Korvus asked about Meggan. "Megan with pink hair or Meggan with brownish blonde hair?"

"Blond hair." Korvus clarified as he pressed down the deck lid to finish the sealing. "I have requested she attend Homecoming with me at the local university. She has accepted."

"Huh," Wade said, eyes narrowed just a little. "Yeah, she and I watch Golden Girls together. And I'm teaching her to box. Y'know. Some advanced self-defense stuff." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and shot off a text to Kurt. It wasn't that he distrusted Korvus, it was more that the kid had only been at the mansion for a week or so and was already taking Meggan on a date. A serious date, all things considered - Homecoming was serious, right? It might not be as serious as Prom, according to all the ridiculous high school romantic comedies out there, but it was still kind of big. "Why, are you fishing for information?"

"I am speaking with a friend, operating under the assumption this is a conversation friends would have... and that you are my friend." Korvus spoke as he prepared a power drill so he could begin installing the propeller onto the crank shaft. "I do not have any other friends here so that may be bold of me. If I am wrong, please correct me."

Wade moved over to help Korvus and considered that for a moment. He found himself in something of an awkward position. On the one hand - Meggan and the urge to maim people on her behalf. On the other, Korvus and his bizarre syntax, new status, and ability to turn VW Beetles into water-tight amphibious vehicles. "Friends talk about this stuff, yeah," he said. "And I'm cool with us being friends." He shifted his grip so Korvus could better fit the propeller on the crank shaft. "It's just, Meggan's awesome and I'm kind of... protective. So y'know. Don't make me kill you. Also, you might get a visit from her brother. And her sister's a witch - literally. She might've told you about that. Fair warning, they can both be pretty intimidating and they're both way more protective than I am." Sort of. They didn't go around arranging prison riots as a convenient cover for the timely, justifiable murders of assholes who kept girls locked in cages for twelve years, but they could do some pretty nasty things when they wanted to. "So, there's that."

Korvus drilled through the deck lid in short bursts when Wade wasn't speaking. It only took a moment before he was lining the propeller up with the crank shaft. He paused for a moment, looking at Wade and tilting his head. "I do not understand why you would be required to kill me. I do know in some Asian and Middle Eastern countries women are killed if they do not succumb to the local tradition of arranged marriages but I did not think America had any such brutal and repressive customs."

"Oh, it's not an American custom so much as a 'make Meggan cry and I'll be forced to kill you' Wade sort of custom. Probably. I mean, unless Kurt or Amanda gets to you first, in which case they'll kill you and then it's probably one of their customs. So the gist of the whole thing," Wade said, hoping he was clarifying things instead of making it more complicated, "Is don't make Meggan cry. Or upset her. Or do anything she doesn't want to do. Got it?"

"Would it not upset Meggan for you to threaten me on her behalf? Also, I have read studies that show 'benevolent sexism' can be more damaging to the advancement of women in progressive countries than a more classical approach to sexism." Korvus spoke as he ratcheted the propeller on, then began to seal around where it emerged from the deck lid with a rubber grommet and axle grease. "If you and I watched the Golden Girls together and she had just arrived, would you threaten her on my behalf? It makes the implicit statement you do not feel she can defend herself against my advances should she find them undesirable. I can provide articles on the topic for you, if you find these ideas interesting."

It took Wade a minute to parse the formal language, but then he cracked a smile. "Interesting spin on the topic, man, but not the point. I'd say the same thing if you were gay and decided you wanted to try to hook up with Matt or Artie. It's not a sexism thing, it's a 'my people' thing. They're my people, so don't upset them. And I guess you're sort of one of my people now, too, so don't worry. I'll make sure Meggan doesn't make you cry."

"Under threat of death?" Korvus pressed on with a soft laugh, spinning the propeller by hand to make sure it was functional.

Wade considered that, head tipped to the side as he watched the propeller's spinning slow. "If I didn't know her better, maybe. I had to have this talk with the hellcat and my number one minion when they started their sort of dating thing. You're kind of like an unknown quantity or variable or something. So you don't make me defend her honor and she won't make me defend yours, so we'll all be fine. You haven't been here long - what made you decide to ask her to the Homecoming thing?"

"We are both Seniors. When we initially met and she was helpful." Korvus thought for a moment as he recounted his reasons, moving to where they had left the welding safety gear previously.. "I understand it is expected for a person to attend some school functions, such as a dance, with a date. I want to attend those school functions. She had not yet had her company requested by another."

Sometimes people were stupid - who wouldn't want to take Meggan to a dance? What happened to that guy he and Kurt had intimidated? Timmy? Tommy? Toby? Something with a T maybe? Wade frowned a little. He'd have to touch base with Kurt to discuss this. Meanwhile, he nodded at Korvus. "All sound reasons." And none of them seemed to indicate Korvus was looking to get into Meggan's pants, which was a plus.

"I am glad you approve. I did not want to begin welding if you felt compelled to threaten me again, you would be difficult to hear." Korvus offered politely as he lined up the metal ducts to route the fresh air intake up to the top of the cab.

Wade left the back of the Beetle long enough to pull on the apron and pick up the face mask again, then grinned. "Yeah, I guess I would've. But the threatening's over for the time being. Consider yourself fairly warned, though. No frisky business." Then he picked up the welder again, flipped the mask down, and got back to work.

"I do not know what frisky businesses are." Korvus spoke loudly between flares from the blow torch. "But I believe I understand your meaning by context... You are sending a very different message than your movies... America is a very confusing place."