Vanessa & Garrison | Tuesday morning

[x-copycat.livejournal.com]

Garrison gives Vanessa a ride back to the city now that Hank has sprung her from the mansion. They discuss Garrison's muddy moral compass and the temptations of revenge.

In her mercenary days Vanessa considered herself a fairly light traveler. Everything she took with her had to fit into a pack or be able to hang off a shoulder, slip into a pocket or get clipped to a belt loop. But she had a pack. Right now, though, she had a trash bag. It was abducted girl chic. The goat from Adrienne, the sheep from Wade, the snake from Sam, the clothes from Laura...it all went into a trash bag that she was currently tossing into the back seat of Garrison Kane's Crown Victoria. Her hand - her supposedly temporary loan of a hand - smoothed over the frame along the side of the roof. "Oddly enough, Vic, I think I missed you." She not only gave the car a wink but kissed her hand and pressed it to the white metal before hopping into the passenger seat. Either Laura's mimic was causing serious personality alterations or Vanessa had finally managed to find a persona to hide her entirely paranoid, cagey mindset behind. Scarily enough, it seemed caught somewhere between Morgan's persona and Laura's actual personality. And poor Garrison was stuck with it for at least the next forty minutes, but probably longer thanks to morning traffic.

For his part, Kane occupied himself with his iPod dock attached to the stereo. It was odd to hear Morgan coming from Laura, especially when he knew it was Vanessa. It was like his last few years had been put through a blender. When he'd visited her earlier, she'd been withdrawn, almost spiky in the way she was pulled back from contact. Now it was the cheerleader as through the mercenary, which was equally disconcerting.

"You sure you want to go back to the city now, Vanessa? Might be better to stay a few more days and make sure everything is alright."

She glanced over at him and gave Kane a flat look. "In the place with the awkward people and the cautiously optimistic people and the people who want to help so badly you can practically see them vibrate with it?" Her voice had gone a very peppy, sarcastic tone and matched the overly enthusiastic, open-mouth smile she had on her face. "How about 'no'? I'm thinking head into the city, hit up the bars and the strip clubs and fuck the pain away. What do you think? Seems like a solid plan to me." One corner of her mouth quirked upward and she shot Garrison a wink. "We just won't tell them it's only metaphor pain. Or I can take up that life of crime as an international jewel thief I always wanted. The glamour, the travel, the exotic locals...what more could I want?" She shot him a grin that in no way suggested anything other than her being up to no good. "Unless you've a better idea, m'love."

"You know, winding up people works a lot better if they don't know you." He started the car and pulled into the drive. "For example, if you told Kyle this plan, you'd be busy mopping him off your shoes at the thought. I, on the other hand, know that you could have already had the life of an international jewel thief if you wanted and didn't. And you could have fucked the club scene dry ages ago if that was you. So I'm going to bet on you just sleeping late and reading the paper on the roof. There might be fancy coffee."

Vanessa was the picture of innocence, hand clutched to her chest and mouth falling into a disbelieving frown. "Me? Winding?" A heavy sigh followed, along with a little pout. "You wound me, Garrison. Also, you're really ruining my attempts to amuse myself. Though, if you think there will be any sleeping late or fancy coffee I'd have to throw my hat in the ring to dispute how well you know me. I'm a normal coffee kind of girl and I habitually rise when the sun does." Lately it was more like she was there staring out a window when it rose or watching infomercials but Garrison hardly needed to know about her fantastic new insomnia. She kept telling herself the handy stamina Laura's mutation came with meant she didn't actually need to sleep for eight hours. Or daily. "Also, I've already proven I am fully capable of meaningless, casual sex, thank you very much."

"So you say." Kane said non-commitally as the Hip came on the stereo and he pulled into traffic. Trying to stop Vanessa from doing something she wanted to do or was doing to prove a point was like trying to nail a wave to the beach. "You planning to go right back to work?"

"Probably. I have something of a goat situation to attend to in my apartment apparently, but otherwise I don't really have much else to do." Her head tilted toward him and her eyes moved up and to the side to look at Garrison. "Unless you really do want me to fuck my way through New York or start on a life of crime I'll need to fill my time somehow. As I'm capable of but not particularly enthusiastic about the former that really only leaves the latter and I'm sure you'd hate to have to chase me around."

"Both are less attractive options in Laura's body. That's more of a 'get a shitty job at the Gap to save up for prom' body. International criminals need an air of mystery and epic sex feasts should have something hedonistic about them, past bad 'Girls Gone Wild' pastiches."

Vanessa smiled as if she had won something. "See? I told you that you'd hate to have to chase me. Besides, Laura wants a twin and who am I to deny her? Do you know how much leverage I can get working the cute barely legal enough to drink angle? The shit you can talk guys into divulging by just batting your eyes. Besides, her mutation offers advantages I don't have on my own. But I happen to think Laura could pull off that clad in black Catwoman-esque cat burglar vibe." She reached over and patted Garrison on the shoulder. "Just because she's not your type doesn't mean everyone will agree with you."

"I think it's more that she's not really your type, Vanessa." Kane shrugged, settling into the light traffic. He was the last one to deny her time to adjust to what she had gone through, but the new demeanor was just play-acting in his mind; might be necessary, but wasn't her. "I bet Warren has some kind of fancy night out already lined up for you two, eh? Swimming in cavier and surfing on waves of Cristal or something?"

"And what's my type? Given all the people I've been in the last half of my life, I wasn't aware I had one." Or that she existed outside of those people. Vanessa kept that to herself. Thoughts in Prague should stay in Prague, right? Too bad they followed her everywhere she went. The metamorph trained her eyes on the scenery passing by outside her window.

Combative. Angry and hiding it. Kane considered his next words carefully as they left the mansion access road and merged on to the highway. "You've come a long way from being a frat girl template as a future. Maybe that's just me. I am wrong an awful lot, eh."

"So that's all Laura can be with how she looks?" Her attention shifted back to the man behind the wheel. "And what's your estimation of my other mimics I use? Better yet, what precisely is your estimation of the template for my actual body? After all, if we're all scheduled into our capabilities and aptitudes based upon appearances it would be nice to know where my own boundaries are."

Kane shook his head. "This conversation isn't happening. You can pick fights with Warren and the others if you want. I'm not enabling it. You say you're happy being Laura for the duration, fine. I believe you."

She bit back the impulse to more or less say he'd started it. In the end it likely circled back to her starting it by opening her mouth at all. "Lying isn't an attractive trait on you, Garrison. Obviously you don't believe me. Funny, I always thought those black and white morals of yours got in the way of things like lying to appease someone."

"Obviously you've been an influence on me." He said, shifting gears as 'Wheat Kings' came on. "Or you make my morals a little more fluid. Take your pick."

Vanessa rolled her eyes and her combativeness seemed to vanish. "I'm going to have a very hard time believing I influence your morals at all. You are one of the most stubborn people I know when it comes to that. How, precisely, do I grey you into the grey zone?" Her voice now sounded more amused than anything and she quirked an eyebrow upward.

"You'd be surprised." He wasn't about to tell her he'd committed a felony that would cost him his badge if it came out. But the pushing; halfway between a fight and an invitation. It wasn't fair, especially to Warren. "Maybe I've learned that black and white isn't always enough. Or that when my friend has disappeared, the rules change a bit."

"Oh, so a girl's got to get herself kidnapped to get you more morally muddy?" Her fingers snapped in an 'aw shucks' kind of gesture. "Damn, if only I was willing to pull that one again I might get to actually witness this moral breakdown you've had. Guess I'll just need to take your word for it, but funnily enough it's those pesky morals that usually incline me to do that. What's a girl to do when she's got to rely on your history of being a moral, upright kinda guy to believe that you're not that moral and upright all the time? Rock? Hard place? Is that you?"

"I like to think that I've shown a little more depth and flexibility than that, especially when the people I care about are involved. Which," He paused as the car slipped around a truck. "you happen to be one of. Even when you're doing your best to be a pain in the ass trying to get a rise out of me. So, to answer your question, I only get morally muddy when there's no other way to do the right thing. And, for whatever it's worth, ever since I've known you, you've tried to do the right thing. The method might involve explosives or kicking someone's nose into the back of their head, but at least the intention was there."

She shrugged, but it was less dismissive and more acceptance of what he said. "Maybe. I've gotten burnt doing the right thing and I've done plenty of selfish things, too. And in the past I've done plenty of bad things for money and I've done very bad things for good reasons which some people would say is still just a bad thing. But I'm not actually trying to get a rise out of you or be a pain in the ass." Vanessa smiled at him; it was the smile that suggested Laura was totally innocent of whatever was going on without actually making it believable that she was in the clear. "I'm just naturally a pain in the ass, love. Throw it into my pile of faults along with 'likes violence too much' and 'stubborn,' if you will."

"See, so we've nicely moved back into 'shit's complicated' level. And I don't for a minute believe that you don't try your best to make things hard for me. I thought that was part of the basis of our entire relationship." Kane said.

"I thought my intense appreciation for you without a shirt was the foundation of our friendship and a mutual love of beer and baseball and a mutual friend consisted of the first story. I've got no clue what the roof's made out of though." She eyed him with faux suspicion. "If you tell me there's a whole second story I'm excluding then I might have to call bullshit, though." She still thought he was painting her as a better person than she was, but Vanessa accepted that it was likely more a lack of awareness about things than willful ignorance at the root.

"Well, there might be a second story if someone hadn't moved into the city and then got herself kidnapped. It's pretty inconsiderate of you to not factor quality time in the middle of all of that, you know." He said, teasing her.

She shrugged good naturedly. "What can I say? It was my first abduction. I really need to work on my planning for the next time. Apparently using my previous experience in the prisoner of war realm wasn't as useful as I had anticipated. I'll try not to interfere in any petitions for second story renovations the next time."

"Speaking as a fellow traveller down the route of abduction followed by medical experimentation, I think that's certainly the right way to look at it. Next time, you might end up coming back in Bishop's body or something, and that would just be wrong."

"Actually, that's not nearly as disturbing." Especially considering her head had been cut open this time around. "I've been a guy before. I still am from time to time when it gets me what I need better than being a woman would. At least I could try to claim the tall, dark and handsome niche. Not sure I could pull off stoic long term, though. I can be...wordy." She frowned in a pensive manner and looked down. "But I have way better legs than Lucas. Or Laura, for that matter, but it's not her fault she's short." Short in Vanessa's estimation being just about anything smaller than five-foot-eight.

"I agree. Which is why you obviously need to get back to blue, leggy and delicious as soon as possible." Kane said, without any self-consciousness. One thing that he was always known for was his honesty about others, and he didn't get embarrassed telling someone if he thought they were attractive.

A somewhat amused quirk of Vanessa's lips appeared simultaneously with an arched eyebrow. "Delicious, am I? And how would you know that? 'Delicious' isn't a particularly visual adjective there, love." Though there was something about Garrison using that word to describe her natural form that made Vanessa want to squirm a little bit in her seat. It wasn't precisely an uncomfortable kind of squirm just...a squirming. "Unfortunately, you're going to have to settle for memories of my supposed deliciousness for a while."

"You know, there's a whole art to accepting a compliment, and you suck at it. Ask Warren. Ten bucks says he agrees with me." Kane advanced the playlist to 'Three Pistols' as his exit came up.

She ignored Warren's name being brought up for a moment so she could flash a triumphant grin in Kane's direction. "It's a very special talent. And you probably don't want to ask Worthington his opinion. He'll surely claim I suck at a lot of things." Like sticking in a relationship post-abduction. Though he had handled it surprisingly better than he might have otherwise.

"I just bet he would. I'm more worried that he'd point those things out while wearing a towel or something after a team workout."

He had obviously taken her comment in an entirely different way than she'd meant it. That was fine, Vanessa didn't feel the need to correct him at the moment. "Now, now, are we worried about a little towel tent? Or that you'll wind up with a matching one?" She was kidding, of course, because the very idea of Garrison genuinely being attracted to her was a laughable notion to Vanessa.

"It's not exactly an experience I want to share with your boyfriend. I'm sure he's a very nice man, but that's a bit advanced for our level of interaction."

To correct or not to correct? Omission wasn't technically lying, though it was certainly misleading. Did it matter either way? Not really. She wasn't sure she wanted Garrison to imply certain things because of it. Like she was having a identity crisis or something so she broke up with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend she dated for less than three months. People forgot she wasn't exactly having a relationship while being sliced open. "He's not my boyfriend," she finally corrected without much infliction or emotion. It was more statement of fact than anything.

"Oh. I didn't know that. I'm sorry to hear it." Garrison said, sincerely. "You guys had seemed good for each other."

"There's not much to be sorry for. People change and things end. It's hardly unique in the history of relationships. The only difference is that some people are so damn determined to hold onto the past that they refuse to recognize when something is over. I didn't want us to get to that point of being miserable but holding on despite it. No one is ever grateful for that." Her tone was matter-of-fact and her shrug was somewhat dismissive of the situation. It was what it was. Maybe at some point in the future she would get enough sanity back to consider becoming involved with him again. Vanessa just wasn't sure that bubbly, enthusiastic, slightly crazy-in-a-good-way person was still there under the angry, scarred person hanging out just under the surface.

Kane shook his head; the walls were back up, as high as ever. "Fair enough. You just sounded happy with him. So it's a shame that it didn't work out." He pulled off the expressway, heading into the midtown traffic and towards her apartment.

"I was, I suppose. It's complicated in terms of then and now. Suffice to say I am not exactly prime girlfriend material at the moment due to myriad current circumstances." She felt that was about as diplomatically as she could put it. She was potentially bat shit crazy, couldn't figure out whether or not she trusted anyone fully, jumped at every noise and had an intense desire for vengeance.

"These kinds of experiences will change a person." Kane was dodging mid-town traffic as adoitly as a cab driver, long experienced from his time at the field office. "As someone who's been through it, let me offer a little advice? Don't try to anticipate those changes. The real ones will make themselves apparent. After Apocalypse, I nearly resigned from the force, convinced that the person I was couldn't be a cop. Turned out that once my head got straightened out, that would have been the absolute wrong decision. Try not to do anything drastic because it feels like that's how it has to be now."

She answered with a fairly dismissive wave of her hand. "I broke off a relationship, that's hardly drastic. And I did it much more gently than either of the two that I've done in the past. I'm not quitting my job, abandoning the agency or turning into a monk here. I'm just...not sure I can be held to be the person some people thought I was." More quietly Vanessa added, "I'm not really too sure how much of that person I've been for the past year was real, actually."

"Huh." Kane said, looking over at her as they pulled up at a red light. "I can't say for sure either way, but now isn't a bad point to take the time to figure it out. And hey, you know that you've always got us if you need us, eh?"

She quirked something of a lopsided smile Garrison's way. "Is this you volunteering to be my net during this time of inner turmoil and self-discovery?" She laughed a little and glanced out the window. "I'm not really sure everyone I've 'got' will want to stick around once I figure it out. You know, I hear some people disagree with my violent tendencies and lack of qualms about killing people. It's a personal thing, I get it. But either way I wind up going there is the prospect of someone bailing, I suppose."

"I'm volunteering to be your friend during this time of inner turmoil. And if you end up trying to decide if the cold, remorseless mercenary killer is who you are, maybe I can remind you of the times you've been so much more than that." Kane's voice had turned serious.

Vanessa didn't seem terribly affected by either his tone or his words, preferring instead to remain in her rather placid state. "Cold and remorseless is useful in certain situations. It was never all that I was. Even when I tried to use it to consume me when I was younger. But that's always going to be part of me, Garrison. Being a mercenary saved me. I may not be one now but it's informed a lot of things about me beyond my love of weaponry. It's hardly an unchecked part of me that runs rampant, though. If it was I'd probably have a higher body count outside of mercenary jobs." She glanced at the arm that had once been ripped off her friend, then down to her own arm that had been partially skinned in Prague. "And trust me, I track down New Son and that body count will go up. I will be cold and remorseless and fuck anyone who has a problem with that."

"Just make sure you don't lose the other parts that have informed you in the process. Cold and remorseless have an ugly tendency to spill over into collatoral damage." Kane said, putting the car back into drive as the light changed. "I trust you, but I also remember the thoughts that I had after Blaquesmith did his work on me. The temptation to let myself become a very different person in order to get the revenge I craved. Maybe it's different for you. I don't know. I just remember how strong the urge was for me."

"Slight difference between us, my love; you weren't a killer. Sure, you carry a firearm for the job and maybe have even used it when need be. Yes, you're trained to shoot to kill but the things that happen on the job are different. Your intent isn't to go out and put someone in the ground. Me, though..." Vanessa shrugged a little. "I was a professional killer and war volunteer for years. I've gone out and intended to end someone's life. I've done it on a job, when someone's threatened me or when they've come after my people. It's not such a new thing for me like it was for you. It's not temptation to be something or someone different for me so much as it is tapping into and utilizing an existent part of myself."

"There is a difference between who you've been, and what you might be tempted to do. The voice in my head was telling me that taking Apocalypse and his men all the way out was worth innocent lives if necessary. Me, who wasn't a killer. So what happens if you start deciding that, hey, if the help gets in the way, it's worth it to get New Son? You've had a line drawn for all the time I've known you." He slipped through a couple of holes in traffic. "That line is important, especially when it might start to look a little fuzzy. That's all I'm saying."

"I've never been one to intentionally sacrifice someone who didn't deserve it." Look at her, proving she had ethics and morals once again. "I've seen enough innocent people get mowed down because they were in the wrong place. I won't be one of those people who thinks the ends justify the means no matter what. Will I use and manipulate people if it gets me what I need? Yes. Will I possibly cost someone their job, their relationships and whatever else? Maybe, just depends on what I get from doing it and whether or not there's another way to get what I need. Will I always target the biggest scumbag I can find? Fuck yeah, because I never feel bad for shooting them in the knee figuratively or literally. You're right, I've always had rules. I don't intend on breaking any of them now. There's always other ways to do things."

"See, there's a pretty good starting place, I think." He said as he pulled up outside her building. "Maybe some relationships will change, and things may end up being different, but until that happens, you make sure to find us when you need help."

"Uh, yeah, I'll work on that one." Vanessa, despite her beating Adrienne over the head with the same notion years ago, wasn't renown for her willingness to seek out others when she needed help in a personal sense. With the car parked she undid her seat belt and went fishing in the backseat for her trashbag o' stuff. It would have been much easier with her own arm reach. Damn short people. After she finally grabbed it she flopped back into the passenger seat and grinned at Garrison. "In the meantime, should I find myself blue and leggy again I'll be sure to capture said legs in a photo for you."

"Well, I'll see for myself in a few days. I forgot to mention I'd be by with Chinese and whatever that dodgy grocery on the corner has to rent on DVD in a few days. How could I forget to mention that?" He paused, his expression entirely innocent. "Oh, that's right. Because even if your arms were on fire, you'd think twice about asking for help and try to handle things on your own."

She narrowed her eyes at him, expression making it clear to him that his last comment was dead on. Vanessa blamed Laura's psi-patterns for her intense desire to stick her tongue out at the Canadian. Since most of her late night activities usually involved television and movies these days she didn't bother to point out she usually fell asleep during movies. If he didn't remember that then he was less likely to pick up on it being odd when she made it through the whole thing. Eventually she smiled, leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Guess I'll see you in a few days then. Just try to not get yourself shot up by bad guys or summat between now and then, aye? You know I've got that rage-filled vendetta thing going on and all." Her tone made it into more of a joke, a light, throwaway comment. She'd deal with his confusion over her still being Laura when he turned up.

"I will make sure not to wear my New Son t-shirt that night, yes." He grinned. "You take care of yourself, Vanessa. If you need me, just call."

"If I need someone then you will be the first," she promised. Oddly enough, she was sincere. If she was so fucked she needed and was looking for help Garrison was usually around the city and a damn good guy to have in her corner. Vanessa glanced up at her building and popped open the car door handle. "Thanks for the ride. And have a good day at work, honey," she joked, grinned and then was out the door.

Home. Finally.