Moira/Nathan

[x-mactaggart.livejournal.com]

Moira entered her room and leaned against the door. That hadn't been quite the news she had expected. Mental damage she had caused herself, yes. But...residual images of a psi-link? It apparently took a lot of energy to form one. She sighed, not knowing how Nathan was going to react to this. She stuffed her hands in her pockets and headed towards the bedroom. "Nate?"

Nathan opened his eyes, hearing her. He had dozed off again, he realized a bit hazily, sitting up slowly as Moira came in. "Are you--" he started and then stopped, blinking as he realized how unsettled she was. "What--what did Xavier say?" he asked uneasily, anxiety roiling in the pit of his stomach.

Moira sat on the edge of the bed and nudged the carpet with the toe of her shoe. "I'm fine," she assured him. "Nay did any 'arm ta meself." She hesitated, suddenly feeling like this was all her fault, especially if he panicked. "'e..did find somethin'," she offered weakly.

His heart had been returning to somewhere approaching its normal place again, but it sank again, with her words. "What?" he asked, his voice uneven. It didn't feel like it was something horrible, but she was worried.

She fiddled with the edge of her shirt. "I...um...well, 'ow do I put this?" She took a deep breath. "Apparently when ye were talkin' in me mind, I ...uh...establishedalinko'somesorts," she blurted out.

"You--" He stopped, staring at her, wide-eyed. "Established--a link."

"Apparently." She refused to look up from her feet. "Um...'tis nay a -real- link but apparently when I reached out, -somethin'- formed." She flushed slightly at the memory of Charles' gentle teasing. She suddenly had no idea what to do with her hands. Moira was surprised to figure out that she was -embarrassed- along with being concerned about his reaction. "I didna do it on purpose," she added, weakly.

Moira couldn't quite force herself to look at him yet. "I'm sorry. If'n ye try an' remove it...it may nay end in th' best results. If th' receivin' end o' tha' particular backlash was jus' me, I'd say go fer it but..." She stopped. She was babbling. Horribly.

Nathan realized his mouth was open, and closed it. "This--make sense," he said slowly, dazedly. It dawned on him that he was plucking at the comforter, and he forced himself to stop, to keep his hands still. "I felt something. I just wasn't sure what had happened. You were inside my shields, and--"

She decided that her shoes were boring so she switched to eyeing the wall in front of her. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "Removin' it could 'urt ye an'..." It probably would be devastating to her mental being as well, but she didn't add that.

"I just never thought I would ever be--" He stopped, swallowing hard. "You--I don't know if I ever told you. Aliya--" The pain flooded up, as it always did when he spoke her name aloud, and he had to stop for a moment. "She was--a much stronger telepath. We were linked."

Moira's eyes widened and she curled her arms around her stomach. "Nate, I'm sorry, I didnae mean ta." She was starting to panic, a little. If this drove him away... "I can go, if ye want."

Nathan took a deep breath, drawing the back of his hand across his eyes. "I felt her die," he murmured. "I was kilometers away when it happened, and I felt it--" Shaking off the memories, he looked down at Moira, seeing the fear in her eyes, hearing it in her thoughts--which he was hearing more clearly than he should be, given that he wasn't trying. Something clenched in his chest, and he forced the words out past it. "It would--kill me," he said, his voice shaking, "to lose you in any way, Moira. Let alone t-that way."

Moira turned slowly and faced him. "I'm nay goin' anywhere," she said quietly, a little choked up. "I was jus'...I thought ye were goin' ta be angry." 'An' leave.' She hesitated and then reached for his hand.

He let her take his hand, closing his eyes with a small noise as the fearful, worried thoughts became sharply louder. "I really bring you nothing but trouble, don't I?" he whispered, the words rough with emotion.

"An' I ye," she reminded him, shrugging a little. Moira shivered a little as his feelings of guilt crept into her mind. "But, if it 'elps...I think yer wort' it." The words were hesitant and she mentally kicked herself.

Nathan stared at her for a long moment, then reached up and touched the side of her face hesitant, his hand trembling. "I've never--I've never really told you--" He stopped, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. "I'm not very good at this," he whispered, and then leaned forward, brushing his lips against her forehead and reaching out with his mind in the way he had once done with Aliya, clumsy with lack of practice, but almost feverishly determined to show Moira what he couldn't say.

Moira shivered and leaned into Nathan's touch, tears pricking her eyes as emotions washed over. Trust. Friendship. A much newer, more fragile one. Love? Maybe, it certainly had the potential to quickly become that. It felt like someone had punched her in the stomach, but in a good way. She hesitantly reached back and let her own feelings intermingle with his.

"This scares the shit out of me, you know," he murmured with an unsteady little laugh.

"Yer scared? I'm terrified," she admitted, blinking the tears away. "We'll jus'...'ave ta see where this takes us."

He started to say--something, he wasn't sure what, when he heard something across that tiny thread of a link. "Did you--" he started, his voice quivering with honest, if semi-hysterical mirth this time, "You didn't just--think that I had a nice ass. Tell me I misheard--"

Moira closed her eyes tightly. The conversation with Marie -had- been right on top. "...maybe..." she muttered at him, blushing nearly as red as her hair.

"Well," he murmured, seized by an impulse so insane that he knew he was going to regret it later, "I've always thought--you had the most beautiful eyes."

The blush creeped higher but a smile spread on her face. "Thank ye," she murmured, feeling relaxed and rather...giddy as the shared emotions and thoughts twined themselves around each other.

Moira suddenly hoped that no one knocked on the door right now. It would be hard to explain the blush away (or, she admitted, the stupid smile).