Kyle and Dori, road trip

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Kyle and Dori went to Montana for Thanksgiving. By car. Because clearly they're nuts. They finally get there, check into a hotel and have pizza. Kyle totally lied to his mom about having sex. (No nookie in the log, feel free to write some in your heads)



Dori was in the passenger seat. Which she was okay with. She didn't really care for long drives, but it was the company that made it. She was playing with a bottle of Ramune soda, the marbles that came in it were just awesome. And she was shoeless, her feet on the dashboard.

"Are we there yet?" Because she had to ask it at least once. She knew they were nowhere NEAR where they were going.

"Yes, and we can get ice cream, and if you had to go you should've gone when we left and if you don't behave I'm going to turn this highway around." Kyle said, laughing. He did the same thing on the New Orleans trip until Laurie threatened to hit him with sleep pheromones until he passed out. "There really is a Dairy Queen on the next exit though if you want ice cream."

Dori giggled, "Well, I do like ice cream. And we have been driving pretty much forever," she noted, "So let's stop!" she happily suggested as Monkey Joe tried to stick a paw down the opening of the soda bottle, apparently obsessed with the marbles.

"Who doesn't like ice cream? Well, maybe people who are like lactose intolerant..." Kyle said, as he flipped on the blinker and changed lanes. "Might be worth giving MJ a chance to do his squirrel business too." Since they'd determined that a litter box in the station wagon was a bad idea, they were just making stops whenever any of them, squirrel included, had to use the bathroom. "Seriously, what is with those marble things? Because that is some weird soda. Doug had some too a couple of times."

"Yeah, we should let him have a chance to run around and well, yeah," Dori noted, pulling the body just out of reach of Monkey Joe who tumbled on to her lap, "Oh, they're stoppers, so you can't spill the drink, in theory anyway. Besides, they look cool," she said, playing with the bottle a bit.

"Run around, complain that the local squirrels are rednecks, freeze his paws off and then fall asleep on the heating vent in the car." This was old hat by now. "Oh, and wake up half an hour later and try to convince you to feed him. Again." Not that Kyle really objected, they'd packed food, human and squirrel varieties because stopping and buying food every time any of them got hungry was just expensive. Even with that, they'd stopped for burgers.

"He's supposed to be on a diet too," Dori said, which made Monkey Joe start to click wildly, "Yes," she said to her friend, "You ARE on a diet. I don't care what you say, you don't have to store anything for the winter and you know it," she said firmly.

"And now he's begging for ice cream," she sighed.

"Thankfully, he has no thumbs, and no cash." Kyle pointed out, as they merged off the highway and onto the exit. "I have thumbs, and cash, and zip ties and a cat carrier, which could be occupied by a squirrel if he's not well-behaved." Shamu was staying home, and probably at that very moment being spoiled rotten by Laurie, who'd agreed to feed him and change the litter pan. Explaining that his girlfriend had a pet squirrel hadn't... gone over well with Kyle's folks, which was why Kyle and Dori were -so- getting a hotel room. That and the fact that Kyle was not going to deal with the endless lectures about pre-marital sex from a woman who still wouldn't tell him who the hell his bio-dad was..

"Hear that, Monkey Joe?" Dori said, poking his nose, "You don't want to end up in the cat carrier, do you? I know you hate that smell," she said and the squirrel begrudgingly curled up on her lap, "It will be good to stretch for a bit. How much of a drive do we have left?" she asked.

Kyle waved a hand at the map as he slowed to turn off the exit and towards the Dairy Queen. "Least another five or six hours, and then I dunno, depends on traffic and how much I feel like keeping to the speed limit." He was going to be so law-abiding it would actually hurt. The last thing he wanted was to get pulled over for driving while mutie in the middle of the back end of nowhere.

"I could sit on my tail and we could speed the lat little bit," Dori suggested. Two days in a car was two days too long, at least the company made the trip worth it.

"And then your ass falls asleep." Kyle said, chuckling. He pulled into the lot of the Dairy Queen and parked, and as he got out of the car, he very nearly dove right back in. "Holy shit the ground is cold. Socks. Socks socks socks where the heck are my socks?" A few hours in a nice heated car and his feet were convinced it was July, not the middle of November in Montana. He took the pair of socks that Dori handed him, and hopped around as he pulled them over his feet.

"This is why sandals are cool," Dori said. Though her toes were cold, she didn't have to scramble for socks and it was only into the restaurant. Mmm, ice cream, "I'm going to have two blizzards. And eat it ALL," sometimes she could be a pig.

"I hate driving in shoes." Kyle explained as he followed Dori into the Dairy Queen. He was getting a burger and fries. Ice cream in the winter was just weird. "Man, this whole having money thing is kinda cool..." Granted, he still had a semester of tuition to pay off and he wasn't letting Wade pay for that, but even so, he was kind of flush. It was cool. "You're gonna sugar buzz all the way to Billings, aren't you?"

"Maaaaybe," Dori said brightly, "I'll eat real food too. But I so want a nerd blizzard. Because nerds are awesome. Oh, and the peanut butter cups. Those are good too! And I like the caramel dipped cones..."

"You like damn near anything with sugar in it." Kyle teased. "One of these days you're gonna turn into a peanut butter cup and then where will you be?" He opened the door, and let Dori duck under his arm before heading in himself.

"In love with myself," Dori said wistfully, "And maybe being hidden by Monkey Joe, piece by piece."

"Stuffed into the cheeks of an overweight domesticated squirrel." Kyle said, ignoring the confused look from the girl at the register as he placed his order.

=

By now, Kyle knew the mutant-friendly motels in Billings, or at least the ones where the evening desk clerk just didn't give a damn if guests came in with tails and in socks and with funny teeth and ears, so check-in was easy. He did suggest that Dori have a quiet word with Monkey Joe about staying quiet until they were in the room, and had produced a couple of mini peanut butter cups to reward the squirrel. Training via rewarding good behavior, not just for cats and dogs anymore.

"Lemee call my Mom and let her know we're in before she freaks out and thinks I ran the car off the road or something and email my grandparents, same reason less freaking out and then we can whatever, watch TV or you can play your online game and I can, uh, watch you play your weird online game, or, I dunno, you can take a bath and I can watch you take a bath..." He said, grinning.

Dori giggled at the last and blushed, "I don't know... the taking a bath while watched idea sounds like there wouldn't be much actual bathing done." Not that she had a problem with that. He had seen her naked, or mostly naked, a lot by now though it hadn't exactly gone farther than that. That's when it hit her that they were sharing a hotel room. Monkey Joe was getting extra treats to stay out of the way, she said, looking over where her friend was happily eating what Kyle had provided. Yes, she thought, you stay busy.

"Yeah, and I'm not sure that tub's big enough for you, your tail and me and me without, you know, claw issues." Kyle said, after thinking on it for a second. "Besides, awkward. Who needs awkward? We're agile graceful people, we can totally do without awkward bathroom antics." For that matter, while the idea was kind of funny, bathrooms always smelled funny. "We should probably order pizza if we're, uh..." he actually looked sheepish for a second. "Staying in for the night. 'd rather not have to find shoes and socks later on to go get food and I know I get hungry, uh.. you know."

"Yeah! Let's get a pizza!" she said, though her mind got off the food idea pretty quickly, "Yep... staying in for the night. Totally staying in for the night." She had gotten better about not blushing over every little things, but some things were still more than enough to color her cheeks.

"So, we'll eat and maybe watch a movie and..." bed.

"A movie without spaceships?" Kyle asked, digging in his duffel bag for the headset for his phone. "You got spaceships last time. I want either mobsters, soldiers or the goddamn Batman. Or giant monsters. I could do giant monsters." It was just that ridiculous giant monster movies were funny, and he owned a copy of Mega-Shark versus Crocosaurus and Mega-Shark versus Giant Octopus. "Hey, uh, does MJ like those breadstick things, cause I am totally invested in bribing your squirrel to stay over -there-."

"Monkey Joe will eat those," or else. Because nothing ruined awesome making out like Monkey Joe suddenly deciding he had to be right there. "Giant monsters sounds good! So, let's do that, and the pizza of course. Are we talking the Japanese imports or something American? Ever see the one with the giant rabbits? That one is totally crazy."

"You are the queen computer nerd lady, make Netflix do it's thing?" Kyle suggested, popping his headset on. "I will be over here assuring my mom that no, I'm totally not in a hotel room so I can have a whole bunch of sex." Well someone had to say the s-word. "And ordering pizza. Lots of pizza. Lots of breadsticks, for MJ. He can even have his very own thing of marinara or ranch if he promises to stay -over there-"

"You mean we can't?" Dori said wistfully, because if not that totally shot down her fantasies of the entire weekend and the point of their own hotel room. She had the lap top open and was seeing what was on instant play, sadly it didn't seem that giant rabbits was, but there were quite a few Godzilla movies, it was just a matter of picking the corniest one.

Kyle grinned, as he finished ordering the pizzas, and breadsticks and some of those lava cake things, and some chicken and more breadsticks just in case. "Well I never said -that-. I just said I'd tell my mom I wasn't. It's like, you know, she isn't gonna believe me, but she'll get annoyed and start being all screechy and then my dad'll get the phone and tell me to not antagonize my mom. If it doesn't happen the world ends. "

She was now trying very, very hard to not turn completely bright red. She hoped it was working, "Cool," was all she managed, and it was very, very cool, "I think I found the perfect one, it's an MST3K version, if that's okay," she said spritely.

Kyle coughed into his hand, looking faintly sheepish. "I have two seasons on DVD. Totally okay." It was so the nerdiest thing he owned, he didn't care. Then the phone on the other end picked up. "Mom! We just got in, no wrecking the car or getting caught in a freak blizzard, I promise." A pause, and he leaned against the wall. "No, I am not staying at the house. Seriously, no. I already paid for the hotel room. No, we're not having sex!"

"Hi Kyle's Mom!" Dori said, waving at Kyle who was on the phone. Even though she knew Kyle's mom couldn't exactly see her, but that was okay. It was the thought that counted. She couldn't help but to giggle at the last part. If they were doing anything it wasn't like either of them would call someone in the middle of it. That just seemed... really wrong.

By the time Kyle got off the phone with his parents, and then ordered pizza, and -then- had longer, but friendlier, calls to the mansion and to his grandparents to check in, the pizza had actually arrived, and Dori had gotten Monkey Joe quite happy with his very own box of breadsticks, and the bribe must have been enough because the squirrel was happily sitting on his squirrel bed over by the windows with most of a breadstick in his mouth. All Kyle had to do was shuck off his shirt, flop down on the bed on his stomach, and make insistant grabbing motions towards a slice of pizza. "So how long you think we've got before MJ runs out of breadsticks and forgets he's supposed to stay all the way over there?"

"With his own box, he'll eat until he passes out," Dori said with a giggle, sliding the pizza over, "So I think we're safe for the night." Which was true. Given enough food, Monkey Joe would eat himself into oblivion and then sleep longer than any one had the right too, doubly so in the winter.

"Let everyone know we made it in one piece?"

"Yep. Checked in with the mansion, checked in with the fam, checked in with my cat. Well, Laurie, who was in my room feeding my cat, so same thing. She put Shamu on the phone. He meowed." Kyle had laughed, because it was silly - and yet kind of funny and sweet. "So we are uninteruppted for the night. Phone's on vibrate in case Magneto busts out another space laser, but pfft, I'm not going into space tonight. "

"But then we could make out in space," Dori pointed out, considering how that would work. It really wouldn't now that she thought about it, but the idea of making out without gravity was actually... really hot. And like something out of a fanfic. She should totally write that, except she didn't really have time for fan ficcing anymore.

"But I'm fine with making out right here," and more.

"That's the best idea you've had all day, and I'm counting the stop for lunch when my stomach was making that noise." Kyle said, laughing as he reached for a slice of pizza.