Vanessa/Adrienne (Backdated)

[x-adrienne.livejournal.com]

After this and this, Adrienne drops by Vanessa's to try and talk about why she bowed out. They end up talking about a variety of other things including a spanking theme park, the American dream, and a new idea for a tv show.


While Adrienne was generally one to keep her word, Vanessa hadn't really been sure if she would come by or not given she was going out dancing. Which was why when Vanessa opened her door after disarming her alarm and buzzing the downstairs door for her friend she opened the door in nothing but a pair of knickers and a tank top. Callisto wasn't fazed by near (or complete) nudity so Vanessa hadn't bothered with pants tonight. "I figured you'd find someone pretty to take home after the club. I'm disappointed in you, honeysuckle."
  
Unfazed by the state of semi-undress, Adrienne just smirked and handed over the food bag from the Greek place she'd stopped at before dropping by. "No one there was good enough for me," she said with a mock sigh, "not when you broke my heart by not showing up!"
  
"Sorry." Vanessa even added in a little frown as she took the bag and closed the door behind Adrienne. "I have never gotten along with Clarice and crowds are bad enough that I thought the mix of the two would lead to very bad places. Some of those places could have involved jail, a hospital or her teleporting herself to the other side of the world. Ergo, not showing up was the better option."
  
Adrienne headed for the kitchen and helped herself to a beer from Vanessa's fridge, pulling out one for Vanessa as well. "Crowds still bad, then?" she asked, letting the stuff about Clarice go, for now.
  
A dismissive gestured answered. Since Adrienne was apparently on beverage duty Vanessa went over to the couch with the bag smelling of delicious. "Did you con Lucas' girlfriend into cooking for you?" she asked with her nose literally buried inside the bag. Who needed to take the cartons out when one could simply inhale it instead? "Crowds and I aren't friends is all."
  
"A four-hundred pound Greek man named Adhelmar, actually," Adrienne chuckled, grabbing cutlery before joining Vanessa on the couch with the beer. "You know they're doing this newfangled thing called eating these days instead of just smelling food, right?" She put a beer and fork on the coffee table in front of her friend. "Crowds and you aren't friends because crowds are an evil two-timing bitch, the kind that carries a dog around in a bag and snaps gum with bleached teeth and botoxed lips, with silicone boobs and a philosophy of pacifism? Are crowds vegan? Is that why you aren't friends?"
  
"I'm trying a newfangled thing called Olfactory Ingestion. You get nutrients by snorting your food." And, with her nose still submerged in the bag, she did just that. Deeply. Vanessa flopped back against the couch with faux relaxation and an exaggerated, "Ah! Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout." And she conveniently side-stepped the whole crowd thing by twisting off the cap to her beer and taking a long swig. "Chewing is so last year."
  
The fact that Vanessa was Avoiding again wasn't lost on Adrienne but she was too amused to bring it up now. "That's not snorting, Hollyhock. I could show you snorting but it's a slippery slope. Tonight it's food, tomorrow you'll be snorting an eight-ball of Bolivian battery-acid off the ass of some flabby-waisted, pasty-faced douchebag who claims to be a movie producer who can get Angelina Jolie to play you in a biopic but is really just a grocery clerk with a video camera."
  
Clutching a hand to her chest, Vanessa looked scandalized. "How could you ever think I'd snort anything off someone with a pasty face? I've got standards, you know! Standards!" She stomped her foot. "Flabby waisted grocery store clerks? Besides, Jolie is a bit anorexic to play me unless she feels like actually eating something again, don't you think?"
  
"Yeah, I think she does Olfactory Ingestion," Adrienne grinned. She made grabby hands at the food bag, hoping Vanessa would stop smelling it and let them eat it. "And I'm not saying you don't have standards, I'm just saying that once you start snorting, you'll be hard-pressed to remember what they are," she said innocently, "because all you'll be able to think about is how great you're going to feel with just one more whiff of moussaka or one more hit of spanakopita fumes."
  
Vanessa, still flopped back into the couch, slid the bag over to her friend with a foot. "I have to say, that spanakopita is very tempting. Particularly for how the word makes me think of spanking every time I see it written. In my mind it's Spankopia, which is like spanking utopia." She grinned and waggled her eyebrows at Adrienne, who knew all too well that Vanessa wasn't the sort to actually be into spanking. No matter how her comments liked to lead people one.
  
"It's more of a spanking theme park in my mind," Adrienne admitted, digging the namesake food out of the bag, along with the rest of the meal. She'd gotten Vanessa a donair kebab in addition to the moussaka and spanakopita she planned on sharing, with mayo fries for herself. "There are probably spanking-themed rides like... a tilt-a-spank, spank-coaster, oh, and definitely a fun house and a house of mirrors."
  
"Does the spank-coaster seat you ass up and when you go through the loops there are paddles set up that whack you as you go by? You've got to go bare assed, of course, and the pictures taken are of your ass near the end to see who has the best welts. If you can ID your own ass you get your photo for free." She grinned, quite pleased with her own description and nicked the kebab to start on since it was easy to eat without having to leave her current position except for the fetching of it.
  
Adrienne nodded as she chewed on a spanakopita. "Exactly! We should totally start that- an adults-only theme park. It could be like Manland except women would enjoy themselves too. You know Manland, right?"
  
The blank look was a clear indicator she did not know what Manland was. "Sounds like a bath house or summat."
  
"Oh Christ, do I really have to do the song?" She rolled her eyes and started to sing in a faux-macho voice, complete with the swinging of an arm like the jaunty tune required. "Drinkin', fightin', shootin', atmosphere pollutin', our giftshop is for lootin', Manlaaaaand! In any kind of weather, get your buds together, and jump a canyon on a motorbiiiiike! Dig a hole, drink a beer, fly a jet, punch a deer, do it all at Manland! Drive a bus, wrestle eel, light a fire, club a seal, do it all at Manlaaaaaaaand!"
  
The blank look continued. "Where, precisely, did you become so illuminated by such a wondrous and magical place?" Her voice was utterly flat as she spoke. Also, she was fairly sure Adrienne had just done some sort of irreversible psychological damage to her. Punch a deer? Club a seal?
  
"The internet," Adrienne answered, almost apologetically. Her tone was wry as she took a fork to her garlic mayo fries. "Oh, the joys of being a high school teacher. Maybe that's why the bitchy fashion business has snubbed me. Because this is the kind of stuff I do now."
  
Vanessa shook her head. "Okay, I watch infomercials, random Canadian TV marathons or bad movies all night and somehow I've fallen from grace less than you have?" She raised an eyebrow and bit into her kebab. "I'm really disappointed in you," she spoke around her chewing. "I'd call for an intervention but I'm not sure that it'd do you any good."
  
"Teenagers," Adrienne cursed under her breath. "I actually think the intervention worked for coke addiction... I don't remember it too clearly, but I went to rehab after so maybe you can find whoever it was arranged that one and collude with them about my most recent fall from grace." She stabbed another forkful of fries and flopped back against the couch. "Still, I think I'd rather take the 'I quote shit teenagers find on the internet' fall from grace than, y'know, still being a coked up paper doll who never stood up for herself physically."
  
"Why do you have to be either one?" Her tone was somewhat philosophical when she asked that. "Why be coked up or a teenager by proxy? It's all about perseverance, my love, and I have faith that you can rise above your teenaged internet addiction much more easily than you rose above your coked up model doormat status."
  
"Your faith is what sustains me," Adrienne gushed, cracking a smile. "Speaking of perseverance, when do you think you'd be up for going out in a crowd with me?" she asked innocently, following it up with a 'did you think you'd get away that easy?' look. "Johnny's band is trying a couple new original numbers at their set at Harry's on Tuesday, and he was asking what you were up to last week."
  
Cue: innocent but shifty eyed look. Vanessa was very conveniently chewing when Adrienne asked. And she very conveniently wanted to make sure her food was very well chewed before swallowing. Choking wasn't pretty on anyone, after all. "Depends," she eventually hedged. "On the night, on who else is going to be there, on how crowded it is and what kind of day it is."
  
"Also, how many exit strategies there are in regards to the building and getaway vehicles. Of course it depends," Adrienne replied, all innocent. She chewed on her fries and another spanakopita and didn't say anything else.
  
"I'm auditioning to be the first Bond," the blonde deadpanned. "I've decided method is the best approach to the role, clearly."
  
Adrienne sipped at her beer. "I'd prefer it if you wanted to be the first female Batman so you could go around in an armoured suit which would hopefully mean you wouldn't be so completely paranoid about going to Harry's, but I know you have good reason to be, so I say get your Bond on," she shrugged. "It's for Band Night... Tuesday, like it always is. I dunno who else is going or how crowded it's gonna be though, but we could stake the place out early and get an easily defensible position," she answered in an easygoing tone.
  
"There's already a Batwoman," Vanessa pointed out. She was mostly sure that was true. Even if it was, where had she picked up the information? Vanessa was hardly what one would deem a comic aficionado. Or a comic reader at all. Batwoman hadn't been in the movies HBO had been playing. Hm... "Maybe. Like I said, it depends on what kinda day it is. I can't commit to something like that ahead of time unless you just wanna be bailed on most likely."
  
"Is there a Batwoman? I think there's a Batgirl and we know there's a Catwoman from playing Lego Batman," Adrienne mused, "but I don't know if there's a Batwoman. I should know this, it seems like something teenagers by proxy should know. Oh! I do know that there's another Lego Batman game coming out this summer though?" She let the other stuff, especially the part about being bailed on, drop, not wanting to pester Vanessa too much. It seemed like she'd been doing that a lot lately- pushing Vanessa's buttons for the sake of getting her to realize some of the things she was struggling with post-trauma- and while she wanted to help her friend, she didn't want to push too hard, too fast. She could broach the topic again on Tuesday if Vanessa felt like bailing.
  
"Yes, there is a Batwoman." This time she spoke with more conviction, though she still wasn't entirely sure it was true. "You're still hardcore about your Wii, aren't you?" Maybe a game system would give Vanessa something else to do at night. No, that would backfire. Then she wouldn't even get the two or three hours she got on her bad nights. She'd be wired from video games and turn into the pseudo teenager Adrienne was and there was no dignity in that. The thought was pushed aside in favor of leaning forward to snag a forkful of moussaka. "I'm thinking I'm not necessarily your girl for Lego Batman, love. Sorry."
  
"Oh, I was just pointing out that there was one," Adrienne shrugged. "I don't really have the budget for Wii games anymore so I'm not gonna buy it. I would be hardcore about it, but I'm more hardcore about other things now, I guess. Like learning the XFI craft. And helping out at eVolution. Before, when I was teaching math and doing the CEO thing," she explained, "I had my routine and knew what I was doing backwards and forwards, so I had all that free time for the Wii. Nowadays, with the history course and taking the math courses back from Bobby, trying to figure out how eVolution is going to be run, and devoting my time to XFI, video games just aren't as important a priority. Though the swordfighting still piques my interest," she smirked.
  
"What's evolution?" She was doing a quick search through her memory to see if she was already supposed to know what that was. It sounded very vaguely familiar but Vanessa was fairly certain it wasn't because of Adrienne. Maybe it was something else. Or maybe she'd just gotten really bad at remembering things that did not involve where all the weapons and corresponding ammo in her house was.
  
"Oh!" With Vanessa's allergy to fashion talk Adrienne hadn't brought it up yet, but thought maybe Warren had mentioned it to her since he was an investor. Now she smirked as she chewed on some more fries. "Sorry. It's a mutant clothing shop being set up in District X. They needed some help with the business management side of things so they came to me for some advice. Just casual-like, since I obviously can't be involved officially," she shrugged goodnaturedly, "but it's been fun for me. They design in addition to selling. A lot of their designs use specialized materials for people with mutations that are destructive to fabrics, or to accomodate physical mutations. I'm trying to get them to produce our special self-defense shoes," she joked, waggling her eyebrows. "I'd ask if you wanted to come see it, but even without the propensity for you bailing, I know asking you to come visit a clothing store would be taking my life into my hands, and I haven't made the special shoes to defend myself yet." she smirked.
  
An eyebrow raised very slowly and carefully. "You're not going to try to get me to model for promotional material for them, are you? Or am I, hopefully, safe in my astounding pink skin ensemble I'm sporting these days?" Clearly Adrienne's petitioning once upon a time for Vanessa to be a model for her had left a permanent trauma deep down in the metamorph's soul. Deep, deep down.
  
"Sweetie, I hate to break this to you, but you're still model material, no matter what colour your skin is," Adrienne simpered with a wicked grin, eyes lingering over the tank top and panties. "It's all about the bone structure."
 
"But I'm not the poster girl for visible mutation," Vanessa put in so quickly she nearly cut off Adrienne's words. It was funny how she didn't mind the borderline leering from her friend but was absolutely opposed to posing for photographs. She supposed part of it had to do with needing to be more inconspicuous given her mercenary past, though it now came with the added bonus of not wanting to advertise herself to New Son. Though they probably knew where she lived anyway. That wasn't a thought she wanted to entertain for long so it was hastily pushed aside. 
 
Adrienne quirked an eyebrow at the quick response, noting that it seemed a shade more serious than Vanessa's normal refusals to model. "And I don't have a modelling agency anymore," she added to Vanessa's comment, tone reassuring. "Even if I did, you know I'm just joking," she shrugged, returning to her fries again. "A lot's happened in the past couple years to change my perceptions on the subject of putting visible mutants out in public like that. It used to seem like a way to stick it to an intolerant society, y'know? Show pride in being a mutant? But with everything I've experienced since moving to the mansion, now that I know what sort of whackjobs are really out there wanting to exploit or erradicate us, I could never ask mutants to put themselves out in public like that. Not for something as silly as clothes." She snorted and grinned suddenly. "Wow, that was not easy for me to say." But she'd said it. Because it was true.
 
Vanessa reached over and patted Adrienne on the back of a shoulder. "Isn't that the first of your requisite twelve steps? Besides, there will always be out and proud sorts. There were, and still are, among the lgbt community and there are and will be more within the mutant population. You don't need to be the person facilitating them being out in the open and possibly winding up targets for bigots. People will do that themselves." She quirked a wry smile. "There's always someone who wants to 'stick it to the man.'"
 
"You're right, as usual," Adrienne smiled back. "But actually admitting that clothes are silly is step two of my twelve step programme. The first is admitting that I'm powerless over stilettos and that my credit cards had become unmanageable."
 
"Welcome to the American Dream," Vanessa announced dramatically. "A closet full of shoes and a pile of debt!" She reached out, grabbed a spanakopita and held it out to the other woman. "You win a random thingum we had on hand! Because that's how the American Dream works!" Adrienne got Vanessa's best dazzling Vanna White smile.
 
"This is the happiest day of my life!" Adrienne simpered, fake-crying as she gingerly accepted the spanakopita and stared reverently at it, cupping it in both hands. "Ever since I emigrated from Richbitchistan I dreamed like an American; of having a closet full of shoes and a pile of debt and this random thingum! Best! Day! Ever!"

Vanessa kept her random eye candy hostess smile on right up until Adrienne said "and this random thingum!" as if it really was the most amazing thing she had ever beheld. Then it just sort of fell apart and Vanessa devolved into a giggling fit. "Now you just need big hair and questionable fashion sense so you can be like that blonde chick from that faux risque show Sex in the Something or Other that isn't Risque."

"Train station? Airplane bathroom?" Adrienne asked, not having the slightest idea what Vanessa was talking about. "Igloo?"

"City, maybe? The chick with the big blonde hair and people cream themselves over how fashionable she is but she always looks like a little girl playing dress up when I see photos of her." Vanessa wrinkled her nose. She had no idea what the woman's name was. "She was the cute, stupid, slutty witch in Hocus Pocus?" She pause, nose wrinkling anew. "Which you may be too old to have ever seen as a kid maybe."

"Ohhh. I thought you were talking about some reality show. I didn't know you meant the one about three hookers and their mom," Adrienne mused, quoting Family Guy. "I think Sex in the Igloo would have much higher entertainment value, personally. I... don't know Hocus Pocus, no," she shook her head as she ate the last of her fries. "If you're talking about Sarah Jessica Parker though, from Sex in the City, I agree; I think her quote-unquote fashion sense is a side effect of two many surgical procedures and not enough taste."

"I'd watch Sex in the Igloo," Vanessa agreed without reservation. "Actually, do you think I could audition for that? An igloo's a lot smaller than a city. I'm thinking this is going to be late night Skinemax territory. Which is cool with me as long as I can pretend to fuck someone in an igloo I'm cool." She sounded just a touch too thoughtful about that, actually. "I've never had sex in an igloo before. Or faked sex in an igloo. It could be a cultural experience!" Clearly igloo sex was more important than the chick with the hair and the bad fashion.

"She'll have fake!sex for Skinemax but she won't model shoes for me," Adrienne stage-whispered to her spanakopita, making a face, "I think I'm heartbroken! Wait." Her head whipped up and she focused on Vanessa. "Am I producing Sex in the Igloo? Is that why you asked me if you could audition? I bet I could totally produce that. I bet I could find investors eeeeasy, and I bet the late night Skinemax people are the kind that won't care too much that the Feds like me for money laundering."

Leaning over, hand up to shield her mouth so Adrienne couldn't read her lips while she stage whispered to the spanakopita, Vanessa said, "I like sex more than shoes." Then she straightened up and pretended she had not just been confiding in food. "I think you being investigated for money laundering could be a boon. There's that director who hides out in France because he's wanted for, what? Rape? Assault? Murder? Anyhow. if Hollywood keeps him around they'll welcome you with open arms. Your trouble with the feds could add the sort of racy scandal to the show's rep that they're looking for, actually. And I think you'd be a brilliant producer." Vanessa grinned. "Especially if you hook me up with that role in Sex in the Igloo."