Fred and Kyle: Groundskeeping Goodness (BACKDATED to Saturday)

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Kyle and Fred and Mowers and Phones and Ladies and Powers




Trudging under the cloudy sky, Fred followed Kyle through the grounds, leaning forward as he hefts the riding lawnmower on his back, There were still some jobs along the grounds that Fred wasn't familiar with, especially with the changing seasons, and was happy Kyle finally had enough free time to walk him through some of the responsibilities, "All Ah'm sayin is that why would Ah waste gas when I can just carry tha damn thing back to the shed, yah know...?"

"Because driving the riding mower is fun." Kyle said. It was clearly a Fact and not a Question. "I mean, okay, yeah, it's funny to watch you carry the thing like it's a half -full bookbag, but dude. It's a riding mower. It's fun." He cracked a grin at the taller man. "I
mean, my folks' neighbors had one and I always wanted to ride the thing and my folks were all "You'll run yourself over and cut off your toes." and hey, well, that's not really an issue anymore, and it's my job, so win-win situation."

"Ya know, this is the same problem I've been havin with tha, uh, X-Mannin." Fred set the mower down and rolled his shoulders a bit, making sure everything was still workin well, "The nonchalance about damage an all. People seem tah think just cause Ah can take damage, that it's mah all to take all tha damn punishment in tha world. It's gotta be like that with the healin thing too..."

"Eh, yes and no. I mean, no one's gonna outright say "Hey Wildchild,go get shot." but I get a little more, uh, direct fighty time and front line duty." Kyle said. "also you just made X-Men a verb. Congrats, you win English for today." He tossed Fred the keys to the
lawn mower underhand easily and then leaned up against the wall of the work shed, picking mud out from under his claws. "Kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy. We know we're harder to hurt, so we'll take shots for other people because we can, and so people kinda get to
expect it."

Fred tried to turn the mower's engine over...and then looked it a sort of annoyed confirmation when the engine did nothing. Sighing, he popped the hood to the small engine and began poking around, "But, it ain't quite the same, yah know...? I mean, it ain't like things don't hurt, they just don't cause any damage. And an explosion or gunshot hurts mah eyes and ears just like any fella..."

"I hate to say it, because dude, I feel you, but cowboy up and just deal." Kyle said, moving to bend over the mower's engine. "Think you rattled the starter when you picked it up?" He prodded a connection and made a 'hrmp' noise. "Seriously, even the squishy folks get hurt,
and I mean, better us than Dori or Sooraya or someone who isn't gonna get back up to give some asshat a face full of fist. I don't like getting shot but at least I know I'll get up the next day if I do."

"Ah know. And Ah don't mind, but gettin shot still sucks. Ah don't mind it, but it doesn't mean Ah gotta like it." Fred turned the key again, and shook his head, "Yeah, 's gotta be tha starter. Hey, speakin of Dori..."

"Mh." Kyle jiggled a wire and then thumped the side of the mower. "Stupid thing." It took him a second to realize that Fred wasn't continueing and -then- another to realize this was going to be that kind of talk. "Please tell me this is the "if you hurt her I'm going
to punch you into next Christmas" talk and not the "Hey, so is she awesome in bed" talk, because I can actually deal with the first one. The second one's weird because then I'm gonna assume you'll just be punking me, waiting until I say something like an ass and -then- punch
me into next Christmas."

Fred blinked, then began laughing through a large grin as he pulled the casing off the starter and wiped the gunk off it, "...I was gonna ask if she'd picked up mah Human Fly comics Ah ordered from the comic shop." His deep chuckle continued as he looked at the starter to check its connections, "Yah really had that many people bend your ear bout ya'll...?"

"Not so much as you'd think but I get some teasing sometimes." Kyle explained as he looked at the relativity tiny piece of machinery in Fred's oversized hand. "Yeah, looks like the starter just went loose. Easy fix. You know, I'm about to graduate, she's in his first year,
looks younger than she is, we get some funny looks." He flicked some gunk off the end of the starter with a claw and grunted. "Might be time to take this in for service. I hate working on engines this freaking small. And I got no idea about the comics. Text her?"

"Takin' in an engine for service is tha exact same as admittin' defeat," Fred seemed to read that little proverb from somewhere deep in his memory as he did his best to text Dori about his comics, sighing, "Damn touchpads are not built for someone my size..."

"Dude, she -has- voicemail. Sides, you could get a tricked out phone." Kyle pulled his own out of his pocket. It had an oddly rubbery keyboard and looked distinctly larger than most other phones. "I mean, hi, claws. Dori's is the same way." He shoved the phone back in his pocket, after making sure he had no texts or voicemails or email, and shrugged. "Yeah, but unless you wanna haul the engine out and replace the entire starter, no way either of us is getting that thing back in line. Your hands are too big, mine are too... pointy."

Fred's brow knit together in envy as he watched Kyle fiddle with his phone, "Dude, Ah want that." Fred was already in the process of loosening the connecting bolts on the engine housing by the time Kyle was done complaining about the complexity of the task, "C'mon Gibney, yah afraid yah might learn sumthin...?"

"Dude, do you -want- this job full time sooner than August?" Kyle asked, grinning. "I mean, okay, not gonna complain if you do, and I'm sure you need cash so you can take that hot redhead out on a date, but man, I didn't think you were quite that eager." He reached into the mower's engine on the other side and began unhooking hoses. "So get one. Forge is still sending phones as we need 'em. I'll send him an email through the maintenance account as a work order, we'll pretend it doesn't also call him an asshat, you'll have a sweet new phone by next week."

Fred began clearing something imaginary out of his throat as Kyle continued to speak, "Ah, uh...Ah got no idea what you're talkin about. Other than tha phone; that sounds awesome."

"Dude, Angelo already made me promise I wouldn't try to have you smothered to death in your sleep." Kyle said, after recovering from a fit of laughter. "Not that I would, I mean, Yvette's cute!" He wouldn't quite go so far as to say hot, but he didn't really go for hot anyway. "Would that work? Do you even need to breathe, man?"

Fred blinked a little, forgetting to be embarrassed for a moment, "Tah be honest, man? Far as Ah can tell, Ah only need tah get a lungful ever hour or so. Ah fell asleep at the bottom of the pool for a spell, an it didn't much bother me." Fred pulled a large portion of the mower's engine free of the larger machine, and set it down gingerly on the ground, "An Vette..." Fred sighed, "Dude, Ah'm just a friend tah her, and that's...fine...yah know?"

"I hate you." Kyle grumbled. "If I could hold my breath, I wouldn't have to smell it when people have sex." He moved over to bend over the engine and then sat down cross-legged on the ground to look at it closer. "Did she say that, or are you just assuming because you're all "dude it's Yvette" or "dude, it's me." because if that's it, I'm just gonna say don't be dumb and ask her out."

"Sex doesn't smell bad. Uh, iffen you're not doin it wrong Ah don't think..." Fred held the piece Kyle was looking into with ease, tilting it so the feral could see inside the casing better, "Ah dude, she told me not, like, a couple days ago. She was glad tah have me as a friend and all that sh-uh-stuff..."

"Yeah, you know, she's from Europe, they're old fashioned there. Ask her out." Kyle rolled his eyes a little at Fred. "Huh. Might be the solenoid, that's not hard to replace." He tugged on the red and black wires, and one came loose. "Yep. Solenoid. Ten bucks at the hardware store, easy peasy. And it's not that sex smells bad, it's that I don't wanna know who is having it!"

"Does she still count as European? Ah mean, she's been here, uh, forever right...?" Fred nodded, "Ah can go pick it up. Ah need some tools for mah Bel-Air anyhow. An wait a minute...yah can tell who's havin sex by smell?"

"I can hear people most of the time too." Kyle tapped his ear with a claw. "I mean, I've got soundproofing up in my room, but outside it? Dude, I know exactly what kind of stuff people get up to half the time." He stood up and then shook himself slightly. "And yeah, she's still a Euro. I don't really think they stop being Euros. Marius has been here longer and he's still Australian."

Fred shook his head, and said only half-jokingly, "Why anyone would want to be from anywhere other than Texas is just beyond me..."

Kyle grinned. "Dude, technically you're from New York right now, unless you're flying back to Texas every couple of years to renew your drivers' license there."

Fred glowered, "That ain't funny, Gibney." He poked a finger at Kyle.

"Only reason I'm not laughing is because you're bigger than me." Kyle
said, laughing. "Oh wait."