Cammie & Kurt: Better Late then Never

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Cammie takes Kurt with her to do something she hasn't ever done, visit the grave of her first boyfriend, the one she accidentally killed years ago.

Cammie was the one driving. She found it relaxing most of the time. You could crank the music and just let the outside world sort of vanish. Or if you were on a bike - which she didn't have yet - just pay attention to the wind in your hair. Right now though she didn't even have the music up very loud and was dealing with the big ball of ...something in her stomach. Nervous would've been putting it mildly.

"Ahh, Vermont. The great land of nothing."

"We could have skipped all this", Kurt observed mildly, glancing over at her. "I know my way has its drawbacks, but it is very much quicker."

"It's about the only thing that still messes with my stomach," Cammie said by way of excuse. It wasn't the smell. She didn't mind the smell of sulfur at all. It was the sudden movement, she figured. But even so it was more of an excuse than anything. She could actually take it better than a lot of people, she figured. "So yeah."

This was an excuse to give her more time to change her mind.

"Fair enough. But this is fast enough, please." He knew she was sticking to the speed limit already, or he'd have asked her to slow down.

"Yeah. Don't worry, I'm not in a hurry to get there or anything," Cammie said, half tempted to turn the car around or throw it in reverse and start going backwards. It would be easier.

That earned another sideways glance. "It will be a good thing to do for you, I think. I was hoping you would want to."

"Yeah, I know," Cammie said quickly, "I do. And I'm not going to keep running away from this. I'm not."

"Good." He reached over and patted her near hand where it gripped the wheel. "It is your choice, of course, but I am glad to hear that."

"I mean, I sort of realized it after all the crap that happened," she said, which was a simple way of referring to Genosha, "just how long I've carried all this shit around, you know?" she didn't ramble often, but occasionally she did.

Kurt smiled faintly. "People often do, for far too long. Sometimes for all their lives."

"Yeah. And... fuck, I mean it hit me that I never even..." she paused, "Maybe I just thought if I didn't go to see it it wasn't real," Cammie said finally.

"You did leave in a hurry after it happened", he pointed out gently. "And I can see how you might not have wanted to meet any other visitors. Or perhaps you did want to believe that."

"Yeah, leaving in a hurry. That's one way to put it," Cammie said a mite dryly. She had been gone by morning. But she hadn't had to stay around for the funeral to know that Greg was really dead. She had been right there when it happened and there hadn't been any mistake.

"It was a traumatic situation. No one should blame you for running, or for anything else. And I will be there if anyone does."

"Yeah, I know you will. And I don't say it much but I really appreciate it," she said, without swearing even. Cammie Did appreciate it, more than she could say. It must've been like this to really have a decent older brother.

He smiled over at her. "I know. You are still here, after all."

"That's just because you haven't driven me off yet," she said cheerfully, the next exit, which was one that could be easily missed if you didn't know where it was, was coming up quickly. It was the last chance to change her mind, and she almost did. If she hadn't brought Kurt with her, she would've turned around right there.

"And never will", he said equally cheerfully, glancing up ahead at the exit but not saying anything. He knew she'd seen it, and it was her choice to go through with it or not.

She flicked on the blinker, turning on to the road. At least at this point, the gravel roads had stopped. Gravel roads were evil, "That's because I haven't tried hard enough yet. One day you will be like 'Jesus Christ, Cammie, Get the Fuck out of My Room!' mark my words!" she said, teasing.

"Only if you invade my room in the middle of the night", he said, laughing. "And even then certain reasons might make it excusable."

"Yeah, yeah. If you say so," she said, coming into view of town. The town with a grand total of two stoplights, a singular church and just under fifteen hundred people, "This place just refuses to change," she muttered.

"Small towns rarely do", he returned, reaching over to squeeze her hand. "Not without outside influence forcing it."

"Yeah. I can't tell you how badly I wanted to leave this place when I was a kid," she said, "Careful what you wish for, right?" she said with a laugh. But in the end, it had worked out well enough. She had a blue, fuzzy, awesome 'big brother.' And a job. And a place of her own. Not too bad considering how it started out.

"We're almost to the church - cemetery's a bit behind it," she noted.

"Are we parking there or somewhere else?" he asked, eyeing random people on the street for any sign of hostility towards himself or Cammie.

"We'll park a bit down the street. I hope you don't mind the walk," it was a decent enough day from one, "Besides, they could stand to have their lives shaken up a bit. And I'm good at that."

"Not at all. I like a nice walk." He grinned. "And a little harmless shaking up."

Cammie parked a bit down from the church on a curb that was slated out as being a 'snow emergency' curb. Not something they'd have to worry about in the summer. When she got out, she knew she was recognized. Everyone would give her a wide berth.

She stretched, "Let the shaking up commence!"

Kurt got out of the car and walked around to her side, offering her his arm. "And we will start by letting them see that someone is here for you."

Cammie chuckled, taking his arm, "Yeah, that's going to do a number on some of them." But she couldn't bring herself to care that it would bother any of the people here. It was time to take a walk. She had gotten the location of the grave from her adoptive parents, so she knew about where they were going, but it was still going to be a hike. A hike with people staring at them. Cammie smiled and waved at one.

Kurt bared his teeth at the person Cammie had picked out. Technically speaking, it was a friendly smile, but a smile that showed off his fangs to great effect.

She couldn't help but to laugh when the guy - who she remembered as owning the local grocery store - hurried and crossed the street to the other side, "We're horrible people," she said cheerfully, "And I'm okay with that."

Sunlight filtered through the trees as they made their way to the path that lead behind the church. There were enough memories here that Cammie was more than a little thankful she had brought someone with her.

"If there is anyone you would like me not to torment at all, or anyone who deserves special attention, just tell me", Kurt said with a grin.

"Nah, we should torment them all," Cammie said melodramatically. The cemetery was pretty empty when they walked in, various graves had flowers or small American flags dotting them. A couple sported wreathes and there was at least one new one.

She took a deep breath.

"Then they will all be treated to my very best demon act", he promised. "Which one is his?"

"We should set you up in the church for that," she said with a short laugh and paused, "I think it's back there, near the top of the hill," Cammie said simply, pausing for a moment. The decision to keep walking forward, one step at a time, wasn't exactly an easy one. She took a deep breath and glanced at Kurt. She did have people here for her, however long it had taken her to admit that.

Kurt released her arm at that, choosing instead to reach down and take her hand as they walked side by side. He said nothing, just letting her lead the way.

Her heart was beating in her throat the whole way, and she was sweating even though the shade of the trees kept the worst of the summer heat at bay. It also made the place seem impossibly serene. It didn't take that long to get to their destination. She didn't look down for a long moment, and when she did it was hard not to fall over crying. There was a picture on the stone, it had her in it too. It was the one taken minutes before he died.

"God..."

Greg Johnston Beloved son and brother Sept 4 1988 - Oct 15 2005

Kurt was murmuring a quiet prayer in German, Greg's name featuring more than once, as he stood looking at the stone and the picture.

"They did not cut you out", he observed softly when he was done.

"His family always did like me," she said with a laugh that came out more like a cry. They should've cut her out. It would've made sense. Cammie wondered how much hell they had taken for leaving her in the picture, "I'm... so... sorry doesn't even BEGIN to cover it."

"For this, no", he agreed. "But there is remembering that it happened, and being sorry that it did, and then there is thinking it was truly your fault. I think perhaps we should go to see the Johnstons."

"Maybe," Cammie said with a shrug. Maybe call first, she had her phone and could always call and get the number from her mom or dad. But that would be awkward. 'Remember me? I killed your son!' "Just... sometimes I wonder. Why right then? Why him?"

"Would it make it easier to know the reason?" he asked gently. "Or to know that there was none, that it was pure bad luck?"

"Maybe not but... I don't know if we actually do go anywhere when we die but... I'd just want him to know I never wanted..." she trailed off.

"He does. Oh, Cammie, he does, and even as he was dying he would have known that just to look at you."

"Yeah," Cammie said after a long moment, her hand going to her eyes. She had been trying not to cry, damnit. But being here really stirring up the memories of that night. Except this time she didn't have to take it on totally alone.

There was a finality to actually standing here, too. She had, after running away, imagined that if she went back he'd still be alive - even knowing he wasn't. And being here, now, put the part of her that always sat in denial to rest.

"Thanks Kurt... for coming with me."

"Come here." He reached across to pull her into his arms. "You know I would not have refused."

Cammie accepted the hug, "I know, but still. I... couldn't make it this far alone," in life. If they hadn't found her... if he hadn't found her, she'd be dead by now. She had no doubt in her mind.

"Humans - and mutants - are not designed to be alone, little sister", he told her. "Like our primate cousins, we evolved to be social."

"Yeah, well, I think I've done the alone thing to death. It sucks. I'm glad you found me, I know I suck at showing it," Cammie finished.

"I know it all the same." He smiled down at her. "My thanks is seeing how well you are doing now."

Cammie smiled slightly, "Well, doing better than I was, anyway. Bleeding all over Texas," she said with a slight laugh, "I've got a lot of stuff to tell him," she said, nodding down at the stone, "Keep me company?"

"For as long as you like." He let go of her to drop easily to the grass, legs folded comfortably under him.